A new week, a new part. And coming close to the end. I’m still not sure, but I don’t think it’s going to be more than 10 or 11 parts. If my muse and exams allow it, I’ll keep posting once a week until it’s done.
Hope you like this new part.
Cris
NOTHING BUT A LUTHOR ON THE WAY, PART 6
After entering through the terrace door and straight into his room, he checked the alarm clock. It was almost 3 a.m. <<Time to get some sleep, even for a Superman. >>
He’d been flying from one emergency to another ever since he’d left. First, it had been Philadelphia, and then he’d made stops in different points of Europe and the Middle East.
And at Carter Avenue.
What was he supposed to do? He’d been worried about her; after all, she did get herself in messes well over her head more often than not. He couldn’t just assume she was fine, could he?
She hadn’t been home, anyway. He’d hovered around her place for a few minutes, even considered searching for her, but, after a while, he realized he was just being foolish. She was engaged to be married! There was nothing strange in her not being home four nights before her wedding day. What was it he’d expected?
If he thought it through, though, didn’t he have a right to expect more from her? It wasn’t foolishness he felt anymore; it was only hurt. It didn’t seem to matter that he’d been at her side whenever she’d needed him; that he’d supported her, as a partner and as a friend- except where Luthor was concerned. She’d chosen Luthor to spend her life with and that seemed to imply shutting him out. She had to know there was something troubling him. She had sensed it yesterday at her apartment. Or hadn’t she?
As hard as it was to admit, this was probably the way it was going to be from now on. If he needed to talk to her; if he needed her, he was going to have to step in line.
Why did it have to hurt so much? Why couldn’t he just face that she’d made her decision? <<Maybe because she hasn’t considered all her options...>>
If she’d at least hear him out...
In a spin, he changed into a T-shirt and boxer shorts. True, he probably wouldn’t be able to put his thoughts aside, but he sure wasn’t going to get any sleep if he kept pacing his bedroom.
He was about to climb in bed, when his mind drifted back to his two young guests. Stealthily, he took a peek at the living room. He found them lying sound asleep on the couch. Though their position seemed rather uncomfortable, he decided not to wake them up. It was probably the best rest they’d had in weeks. It’d be fine for the night; they would arrange something better in the morning.
Walking back to his bed, he crawled inside the covers, trying, unsuccessfully, to keep his tenacious ex-partner off his mind.
**************************************************************
A little sore, Jimmy tried to stretch, but his left arm seemed trapped. Slowly opening his eyes, he found Jack, still asleep, lying fully on his side. “Hey! Don’t you have enough with your side of the couch?”
Jack raised his gaze, startled. “Do you have to be so loud?”
The grunt Jimmy gave as a response was enough to get him standing. “Jeez, you’re really unpleasant first thing in the morning, you know.”
Soon, the smell of fresh coffee and the sound of frying eggs drew them to the kitchen, their ‘argument’ momentarily forgotten.
Without turning around, Clark greeted them. “Good to see you two finally woke up.”
Shooting a threatening look at Jack, Jimmy said, “It helped that I had an unknown object sprawled on top of me.”
“Will you just stop complaining?” And with a mocking smile, he added, “At least I kept you warm.”
Still laughing at Jack’s last comments, Clark focused back on the frying pan. “Why don’t you two just sit down? Breakfast will be ready in no time.”
“Thanks, CK,” said Jimmy. “By the way, what time did you come back? We didn’t hear you get in.”
“It was pretty late. It took me longer than I had planned. By the time I got back, you were both snoring!”
“Hey, I don’t snore!” came Jack’s quick reply.
Picking up the coffeepot and three mugs, Clark walked towards the table and served the coffee. Afterwards, he went back to get the eggs. “There you have it. If you want anything else, feel free to ask.”
As hungry as they were, it only took them a few minutes to empty their plates, all under Clark’s amused stare. After cleaning up the table, they settled themselves back on the couch.
“So, Jack,” said Clark. “How about that explanation? Before we get you back to the Metropolis Juvenile Center, I want to know why you broke out in the first place.”
“Whoa! I’m sorry, but no going back. I can’t, Clark. Like I told you yesterday, I couldn’t stay.”
Still trying to be patient, Clark asked him to go on. “Please, just explain yourself.”
“There is this guy, Pete Black. He was brought to the center the day before I left. I heard him trying to impress the younger kids, telling them the money he’d been paid to set someone up. He said he’d placed explosives at the guy’s place and how he’d changed his lunchbox for one holding a bomb inside.” He looked at Clark, expectantly waiting for his reaction. “Don’t you see? His arrival wasn’t a coincidence. He was looking for me.”
Trying to process the information, Clark asked, “Any idea who he was working for? If someone was trying to frame you, he must have had a very good reason.”
Sarcastically, Jack replied, “You mean besides ‘killing’ the Planet and not being blamed for it? All I know is that it was someone important and that he paid him a ton of money. I think he referred to him as ‘The Boss’.”
“Well, whoever that is, I’m sure his intentions went beyond framing you. We should probably call Perry and let him in on all this. He’ll be delighted to see that our investigation has new facts to back up on.”
A little surprised, Jimmy spoke up, “What investigation? I didn’t know Perry was around.”
“Give me a second and I’ll tell you all about it.” As Clark moved towards the phone, the blinking light in the answering machine caught his eye. “Why didn’t you guys tell me someone had called?”
Jack shrugged his shoulders. “I guess we’d already fallen asleep. You can blame it all on Jimmy. He tried to make me watch the most cloying chick flick. Any guy would have been out in no time!”
Shaking his head, he pressed the button. Despite the harsh tone, it took him no time to identify the voice coming from the machine.
<<Clark, meet me tomorrow. Same time; same place. >>
He was a little taken aback by her message. It was the opportunity he’d been asking for; his last chance before losing her for good; yet it felt... sudden. As determined as he’d been the day before to share his feelings with her, today it seemed like all of his courage was gone.
He glanced down at his watch. Fortunately, it was still early. That gave him time to get ready; time to think through - for what felt like the thousandth time- what he was going to say.
“Looks like Perry is going to have to fill you in. I have to meet Lois in a short while. Why don’t you call him, tell him what you know and have him tell you what we know so far too, and I’ll catch up with you guys later?”
“Sure, CK. Anything else?” Jimmy said.
“ No, I don’t think so...” Clark looked thoughtful for a moment. “Actually, I think there is something else you can do. I’ve been working on some research but my sources became too vague. I kept reaching either dead ends or leads that required a wider computer knowledge than that I’ve been blessed with.” Seeing the younger man’s eager look, he explained further, “You can find what I have so far in some floppy disks by my laptop. They’re labeled ‘Planet investigation’. See if you can come up with anything else.”
A smile on his face, he replied, “No problem.”
****************************************************************
She’d spent the whole day dealing with her mixed feelings. After an inner battle with her nosy conscience, she’d ended calling Clark.
She still wasn’t sure that he deserved the opportunity to explain himself, but she’d decided that she owed it to their friendship to at least let him try. He had too many good qualities, both, as Clark and as Superman; it couldn’t all be fake.
So she’d left a message on his machine. It’d been brief; there wasn’t much to say. She didn’t want to give anything away. If he intended to tell her about his secret- <<Deceit, >> she reminded herself- it had to be his decision; he couldn’t be forced into it by her attitude.
A lot of images had flowed through her mind over the last twenty-four hours. She’d remembered many of her encounters with the superhero; his attitude around her; her attitude around him. As hard as she’d fought it, she still felt embarrassed at the mere thought of it. She’d behaved like a school-girl; on the verge of non-professionalism. And that was exactly what she’d been trying to avoid; no personal feelings were supposed to interfere with her work. Wasn’t that a rule of hers?
The irony of the situation was that, even though Clark was the one who’d behaved deceitfully, she was blaming herself. It was almost as if it didn’t matter that he’d lied, but that she’d been taken in by the pretence.
He was going to get his one chance to explain, all right, but that wouldn’t save him from her anger. He deserved to be shouted at.
And she wasn’t going to take away from anybody something they’d rightfully earned.
******************************
Neither had said more than hi; Clark, shyly; Lois, unusually distant. They’d met by the LNN building at twelve o’clock and, from there, they’d started walking towards the park, both lost in their musings, not even allowing their eyes to meet.
Lois meant to give him a shot; she’d try to hear him out before she exploded and let her anger out. She couldn’t avoid feeling deceived. He had after all been lying to her ever since she’d met him. And although she was trying to understand his reasons, it wasn’t being an easy task.
She’d been taken aback by his expression when he’d walked up to her. She knew him, or she thought she did, and she couldn’t remember ever seeing him so sad, so appalled. He seemed to be having a rough time. <<Just like he should, >> she thought. She couldn’t be taken in by his looks because she HAD been taken in by his pose as two different characters, as two different people, as two different attitudes... And she called herself an investigative reporter! Even more she thought of herself as the best investigative reporter. Had she been blind! What was it she’d told him when she’d first been teamed up with him? “You’re low man; I am top banana.” He surely must have had a few laughs at her expense... But then, that wasn’t the Clark she’d gotten to know, was it?
<<All right, Lois, >> she told herself, <<you mustn’t let his low spirits or his words soften you. Just remember what he’s done. How he has lied, despite knowing how much trust means to you, despite knowing how others before have hurt you... >>
<<But he is not like the others, or is he? He is the best friend I’ve ever had...>>
However, as angry as she was, she was willing to give him a chance to explain himself. He had said that there was something important he needed to share with her. Maybe this was it. It might not be the best time, but better late than never. Though that wouldn’t necessarily imply that she’d be letting him off the hook easily; it would improve his position, but it wouldn’t immediately erase the feeling of betrayal that had been nagging at the back of her mind since she’d found out his secret. Whether he planned on giving her a confession or not, he deserved to be yelled at; he had to face the consequences of his actions, no matter how reasonable his motives may seem.
Hands in his pocket, Clark walked quietly towards Centennial Park, not daring to even look at his companion for a fraction of a second, afraid she’d catch him staring. It was probably all it would take to steal whatever little courage he’d been able to pluck up in order to share his feelings with her, the woman he loved. The fear of unrequited love was still present, but it paled in comparison to the sheer terror that he felt when he imagined her walking down the aisle, ready to become Mrs. Luthor. Every few paces, his right hand would cover the distance from his pocket to his head, and run smooth yet nervously through his hair.
Never shifting his gaze from the floor, he began to speak. “Lois, I... There are some things I’ve wanted to tell you ever since I’ve known you, but there never seemed to be a right time for it. You might be wondering what is right about now, and the truth is I don’t have an answer other than it may be the last chance I ever get. My mom would say it’s about time I’m brave enough.” He hesitated briefly. “I guess I don’t want to go down without a good fight.”
For the first time, he met her gaze. What he found there was rather hard to define. In a way, it was as if she had been expecting some short of explanation from him, yet there was a slight sign of surprise. He chose to let her reaction go for the moment; he’d finally begun his long-rehearsed speech, he had to go on.
“Just twelve months ago, my life had no meaning; I didn’t know where I stood in the world or where I belonged. Suddenly, I seem to have found all those things I needed to feel complete: friends, a job... but, above all, someone who has given me a reason to be, in every way. When I wake up in the morning, all I want is to be a better person and make the world a better place just because I know she deserves it, even if she never sees it.”
This wasn’t what she was expecting. If she hadn’t misinterpreted him, instead of a confession about his occupation as superhero, he was offering a love declaration? There was such passion and care in his voice it made her feel warm inside; she could feel him doubt, uncertainty radiating from him, vulnerable as a child. And it made her wonder why she hadn’t noticed all his good qualities before.
“Lois, I know we’re best friends... well I know you are my best friend and I think I’ve become more than a partner to you over the last year. And I know I haven’t been very supportive of your relationship with Luthor, when as your friend I should have, but try as I may, I simply cannot understand his reasons, his means... I don’t go for the facade he puts up for the world to see; I know with him what you get is never what you see. But there’s so much more to it than just that. My... feelings for you... if you were only a friend I...”
His voiced then trailed off, allowing Lois to take in everything he’d just said. He’d opened his heart, she knew, and his voice had borne an extreme sincerity, even for someone like Clark. With a mixture of fear and surprise, she realized she could fall in love with him, if she hadn’t already. He was arousing in her feelings she had only had around one other man... <<Superman. >>
As if snapping out of the sweetest of dreams and realizing it had only been that, a mere fantasy, she remembered the anger and hurt that had been cast aside by his words. He’d had his chance to explain, yet he’d decided to waste it. <<In almost a year, he has probably wasted much more than that, >> she wryly thought. It was her turn to speak now.
“Am I supposed to believe your words? But whose feelings would those be then? Is it you, Clark, speaking or is it maybe Superman?” And with that, she walked up to where he stood and took off his glasses.
For the second time since they’d arrived at the park, he raised his gaze to meet hers, his surprise showing. Just by looking him in the eye she could sense he felt ashamed, regretful, yet she couldn’t help but wonder how trustworthy that really was. Not taking her eyes from him, she went on, “And since you mentioned. You say you care about me, that I’m more than a friend. If that’s so, how come you didn’t try to find me or contact me in anyway yesterday? I have to be the most prone to danger person in this city. I can’t believe you didn’t worry...”
“Lois, that’s not true. I do care and I was worried. I... I...”
“You what, Clark? Thought I’d simply scream for help if I needed it? ‘Why go look for her. If she needs me, she’ll just shout.’”
Even though he thought she knew the truth, he couldn’t bring himself to tell her that he’d actually stopped by her window last night. After almost a year of silly excuses, simply saying the truth felt strange. It still seemed like giving himself away. But there was no way he could deny her accusations and he wasn’t even sure he wanted to.
Deciding there was no use in lying to her, he answered as honestly as he could, “No! I... flew by your apartment last night.” He paused, the shock he’d felt earlier gone and only defeat showing on his face. “You weren’t there and I assumed you were busy with the wedding arrangements. After all, you will soon be Luthor’s wife; I know where I stand.”
“You’re right; I’m getting married in three days and there’s plenty to be done. And I was stupid enough to waste the whole day thinking about you, the one person I’ve ever been able to fully trust, way too hurt to concentrate on anything else.
But, you know, as angry as I might have been yesterday, it doesn’t begin to compare to how I’m feeling now.
It was hard enough to face that you didn’t trust me enough to share your secret with me, that you’d kept a whole side of yourself hidden... And now, you’re even doubting my friendship? You really think that I would forget about you, knowing there was something important that you needed to tell me, because I was too busy with the arrangements for a wedding I’m not even sure of? You really expect so little of me? Of our friendship?”
“Our friendship? You accuse me of not trusting you, but did you trust me when I tried to tell you that there was more to Luthor than what he showed you? You are the one who chose to believe in that... swindler, instead of in the word of your best friend!”
Furious, she shot back, “I can’t believe you’re doing this. You’ve lied to me, day after day, yet you’re trying to make it seem like I’m the one who’s killing our friendship. I at least have been honest with you. You know me... hell, maybe even better than I know myself. And I’m not even sure of who you are!”
“I am Clark Kent, the person I have been all of my life.” And then, more calmly, he added, “ And no one, not even my parents, knows me as well as you do. I haven’t told you everything I can do; but I haven’t lied about who I am.”
“Excuse me if I can’t take your word on that.” And with that, she turned and walked away.
END OF PART 6
