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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Talking of resurrecting old challenges.... I remember how much fun we all had some years ago now with a challenge to condense our fanfic into as few words as possible. The results back then were archived at Annesplace and were even given their own category in the first Alt Kerths. You can find some examples, plus the full history of the challenge here It just occured to me, reading over Jana's new challenge thread, that with so many new authors since and so many new stories too it might be fun to visit this one again. So, basically: Take one of your own stories already finished and posted (IOW no WIPs or another author's story) and squeeze the plot into as few words as you can manage. As any responses to this challenge will be very short by their nature just post them here in this thread. Comments can go in here too, rather than starting new threads. SPOILER WARNING! As many of these RDs will undoubtedly contain spoilers for the plot of the actual story, do take note of that before you read further in this thread, if you don't want to have your enjoyment of a story you haven't yet caught up with spoiled. I'll post after this so that there's ample space to stop accidental spoilage. Think that's it. If I've missed anything out or you're still confused - just hollar! LabRat (and no, I ain't touching Masques with a bargepole...  )
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
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Kerth
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Let's try... THE PARENT TRAP Long Version here Spanish version here Ellie and Lara had swapped their places at the camp. When the first one met her father at the airport, she said, "Hello, I'm Ellen Lane, you other daughter." In Metropolis airport, Lara saw Lois Lane and told her "I'm Lara Kent. Ellie's twin." Some days later, "Hello, Lois," Clark said. "It's good to see you, Clark," she replied. "Will you marry me?" Clark asked. "Yes." The End
"Practice up your shielding spells...and remember to duck if you see green light coming your way." Harry Potter to Wizengamot in OotP trial A Bad Week in the Wizengamot
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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This sounds like fun! I'll start by trying it with my shortest story at the archive. <g> Being Unique Long version CLARK: Once upon a time, I was born, Lois. My life was boring. Nothing special about it 'til you came along. LOIS: Zzzz (she's asleep) the end
"Don't you people have lives?!?" ~Joe on Wings
"An eternal, burning flame. Hope lives on and love remains." ~from Love Remains, by Collin Raye
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Pulitzer
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Interesting. Hmm, now I have to read my story to see what happened LOL. The South Side Chronicles: Witness The Full-Length Story Lois: Hey, Clark, what if the Cost-Marts really aren't involved as much as we think they are? What if something else is going on? *~*~*~*~* Lois: So, who would have the most to gain by bombing the Mayors' conference? Lois: Do you really think it's a coincidence that the bomb went off *during* the South Side discussion? *~*~*~*~* Lois: I want you to find everything you can on...on...Sara Carter. Where she works, who she lives with. I want to know what she eats for breakfast. Jimmy: First of all, there is no Sara Carter. Lois: I knew it! Clark: You did not. *~*~*~*~* Asabi: I trust you have seen this morning's paper? Luthor: Yes. That doesn't bother me, though. Luthor: *No one* stands in my way." To heck with writing full-length stories! Jen
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Emeritus Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Great RDs so far, guys - keep them coming! Jana - ROTFL!! That one certainly qualifies! And...oh, what the heck <g>: Masques The Readers Digest Version Clark: Who are you? Eve: I'm a clone. Lex sent me. Clark: Luthor, you fiend. Okay, I have to go find Lois. Pack your bags, we're off to Hawaii. Lex: Now you're all mine! Mine, you hear! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhaaaaaaaa! (much in the manner of Sideshow Bob) Lois: Sod off, you total git. I'm outta here. Clark: I found you! Lois: You found me! Lois and Clark: <smooch smooch> Clark: Who knows I'm Superman?!? Alex: Half of Metropolis. Why, is that a problem? Daily Planet Headline: Frozen popsicle in shape of Lex Luthor found dangling from cliff. Lois and Clark: I do! <smooch> Alex and Eve: I do! <smooch smooch> The End. LabRat 
Athos: If you'd told us what you were doing, we might have been able to plan this properly.
Aramis: Yes, sorry.
Athos: No, no, by all means, let's keep things suicidal.
The Musketeers
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Pulitzer
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Frozen popsicle in shape of Lex Luthor found dangling from cliff. ROTFL!!!  Tricia 
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Okay, I thought I'd try this with Love Remains too. Real Version  Jimmy: I'm sorry about Clark. Lois: I don't believe Clark is dead. thinking I never told him that I love him. Perry: Honey, you'll have to face it sooner or later. --- Lois: I don't believe that Clark is dead. Am I crazy? Wolf: You should never let go of the bond you have with your partner. --- Lois: Clark, you're alive! They hug. Clark: Superman saved me. I didn't die. Lois: I knew it! Thinking I'm still not ready to tell you I love you though. the end
"Don't you people have lives?!?" ~Joe on Wings
"An eternal, burning flame. Hope lives on and love remains." ~from Love Remains, by Collin Raye
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Oooh, I remember these! Here's A Certain Point of View : Alt-Lana: You know, everyone always thinks that *I'm* the nasty villainess of Tempus, Anyone? But if you take a moment to look at the events of the ep from a different point of view, you'll realize that it was all HER fault. So there. And her dress sense was awful, too. 
Lois: You know the deal.
Clark: Superman gets the guys in capes, Lois and Clark get the guys in suits.
-- Action Comics 827
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Pulitzer
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Oooh, I've been thinking about this one recently... they're just too much fun <g> Reader's Digest Version -- H is for Hubris : HG: Oh dear, I see I'm needed to fix the universe again! Clark: Let's go get dinner, Lois. Lois: I feel so drawn to you... (they sleep together) Lois: What the hell was I thinking? Get out Clark, and I never want to see you again! <knock, knock> HG: Let me erase your memories! Lois & Clark: No, thanks. Now bugger off! HG: Hmpf! No more deux in this machina for you! Lois: Whatever, you mental case. Hey, Clark, let's be friends! *** PJ
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This is too much fun Here's Hearts Divided : Lt. Lane: I'm in the army and I'm going undercover at the Metro Club! Kal-El (seeing Lois sing): Hubba, hubba! Ching: Hey! You're supposed to be engaged to Zara. Shifty-eyed flunky: Hmm, let's suck up to Kal by taking her with us. Lois: Take us back to Earth *now*, you sexist creep. Kal: Well, I would, but I have to rescue Zara from the evil Lord Nor so I can pull one over on the council and she'll marry Ching and rule New Krypton with him and I can come back to Earth to be with you. Oh, and did I mention I have Superman's powers? Lois: Cool. <smooch> **** PJ
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Pulitzer
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Hey, I want to join the party, too!! --- A SURPRISE FOR LOIS--> long version in English --> long version in Spanish Clark to Perry and then to Jimmy: (on the phone) We have to get ready, hurry up. Lois to Clark: What's up? Clark to Lois: Nothing. Clark: (later) Surprise, Lois! You're pregnant! --- Preety short, huh? AnnaBtG. (who's enjoying this challenge a lot)
What we've got here is failure to communicate...
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Pulitzer
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It almost makes you wonder why we bother writing out the longer versions! These are hilarious, though, so keep 'em coming! I particularly admire Labby's ability to distill Masques down into a few lines. PJ
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Columnist
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These are so fun! I can't resist adding my own. Anybody's Baby Long Version Lucy: Lois, I was knocked up by a guy paid to sell his children to an evil scientist. Now I'm going to flit off to New York for a couple of months. Lois: Wait! No! I can't take care of a baby....CLARK! Clark: Oh, just what I've always wanted! A ready-made family! Let's live happily ever after! Lois: Good idea! ****** Lucy: Changed my mind - I want the baby back. Lois: No! He's ours! Lucy: mine! Lois: mine! Lucy: mine! Lucy goes back to New York and quickly discovers this is not as much fun as she'd imagine. Lucy (to Lois): Yours! And they all lived happily ever after.
Being a reporter is as much a diagnosis as a job description. ~Anna Quindlen
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Annie, yours was so great!!! I read the 'mine, mine, mine' and all I could think of was the seagulls from Finding Nemo!!
Here's my Readers Digest fic for "Medical Miracles" (finished, not yet uploaded on the archive)
Wells: You can have children because I am awesome.
The End.
Laura "The Yellow Dart" U. (Alicia U. on the archive)
"A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles." -- Christopher Reeve
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HAR! I just had to waste a point and laugh at Annie's. That was so funny! mine! mine! mine!  Thanks for sharing, everyone. Jen
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Wells: You can have children because I am awesome LOL Great, Alicia!!!
You've gotta be original, because if you're like someone else, what do they need you for?
~Bernadette Peters
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Pulitzer
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LOL, Alicia! There's really nothing more to say. AnnaBtG.
What we've got here is failure to communicate...
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Pulitzer
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Let's resurrect this thread!! WHAT A FISH KNOWS Kay the Goldfish: Lois and Clark have four children, and they're a weird family. AnnaBtG.
What we've got here is failure to communicate...
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Pulitzer
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 This is great! Let me give it a shot: Phero-Moan My Lovely Lois: Ow, my head! What happened? Clark: We got married and had a kid. The Big Debut Happy 16th birthday, Kent twins! Now you get to be superheroes! -------------------------------- Of course, it's easy when your stuff is so short to begin with
~•~
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