Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Fanfic Challenge Readers Digest Challenge

This is a revival of an old challenge we had a lot of fun with, back in the day. Given how many new authors/stories we've had since we last played, I thought it would be fun to try it again.

The idea is basic. Take one of your own stories already finished and posted (IOW no WIPs or another author's story) and squeeze the plot into as few words as you can manage. As any responses to this challenge will be very short by their nature just post them here in this thread. Comments can go in here too, rather than starting new threads.

SPOILER WARNING!

As many of these RDs will undoubtedly contain spoilers for the plot of the actual story, do take note of that before you read further in this thread, if you don't want to have your enjoyment of a story you haven't yet caught up with spoiled. I'll post after this so that there's ample space to stop accidental spoilage.

You can find examples of previous RDs here

Enjoy!

LabRat

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Wherever You Will Go

Clark: Lois, I'm going to New Krypton.

Lois: Let's make love before you go so I have something to remember you by.

Clark: Okay.

***

Lois: I'm pregnant, and it doesn't look like Clark's ever coming back! What am I going to do? *cries*

There's a knock on the door, so Lois answers it.

Lois: OMG! Clark, you're back!

Alt-Clark: I'm not your Clark, but H.G. Wells wants me to pretend to be for a while.

Lois: Okay. You can torture me by looking like my fiancé, and I can torture you by telling you all the great stuff you're missing by not having your Lois. But, hey, maybe you can find her.

H.G. Wells: It's time for you to go, Alt-Clark, but I'll give you time to say goodbye to the only parents you've ever known in the last 18 years. Lois, your Clark is coming back, but I'm not going to tell you when because I'm mean like that. Oh, and you should probably think up a way to explain Clark's disappearance again.

***

Clark flies home after a year on New Krypton to find Lois.

Lois (holding baby Kallie): Clark is it really you this time?

Clark: Yes, but... why are you holding a baby? Is that... ?

Lois: Yep, she's yours.

Kallie: *gurgle*

The End

Well, that was longer than I intended. But, hey, it's WAAY shorter than the story.

Sara

No one else? It's not that difficult a challenge, surely?

LabRat

Okay, I'm giving it a try as well.

Seven Seconds

Lois: "Lex, why does Clark hate you?"

Lex: "Because I was nice to his wife you know what nice means, huh? I can be nice to you as well."

Lois: "Maybe later. But what do you say, Clark is married???"

Lex: "Not really, but you will think that, because I was smart enough to place some evidence."

Lois: "You are a bastard, Lex."

Lex: "Well, yeah. I like watching your fights with Mr. Kent. By the way, I'm going to marry you, Lois."

Clark storms in. "Over my dead body."

Lex: "I guess we can manage that." He pushes Clark down from LexTower.

Lois: "Try again, Lex. He's Superman. Sorry Lex, but the bad guy has to lose, you know the game. "

Lex: "Darn it."

Chi, Beta :

Me: It's Beta Reader Appreciation Day. What single episode makes the least sense? ... Duh, "Chi Of Steel." Okay, I will write a story with a guardian angel named Beta who will come in, to save the day.

Beta: You don't need that comma in front of "to save the day."

Me: Oh, right. Thanks.

Beta: It's what I do.

Lois, Clark, et al: You faxed everything! We love you!

Beta: You mean "fixed," not "faxed."

L&C, etc.: We love you even more!

Beta: I'm just cool that way. Now to fly off and try to fix the New Krypton arc! ... Uhm, this could take a while.

*Beta is never heard from again.*

The end.

Beta: You should probably capitalize "end."

I've been trying to think of ways to "digest" my stories . . . but the thing is, I can't even really remember most of what I wrote, and I don't feel like re-reading the stories I wrote yet again just now--especially since I've got other things to read, as well as ideas for other fics to write.

One Super Date:

Lois: I wuv Superman. I wewwy wewwy do. *melts into a puddle of WAFFY goo*

Clark: Lois? Hello? Remember me? Your loving partner? Hello? Lo-is?

Lois: Go away, Clark. I'm daydreaming about Superman.

Clark: Argh! I can't take it anymore!

That night...

Superman: Hey, baby. I just thought I'd float down from the heavens to grant you the honor of taking me out to dinner.

Lois: OMG! Yes! I wuv you!

Superman: You know, I don't have any money. But I'm sure you won't mind paying for my dinner. After all, I am Superman.

Lois: Uhm... sure. You bet. I wuv you!

Superman: I know. Doesn't everybody? I'm Superman. I'll pick you up on Saturday.

Saturday:

Superman: Sorry I'm late. I'm Superman.

Lois: No problem. I wuv -

All of Metropolis: Look! Superman took that woman out on a date! Let's gossip about her as if she wasn't even here!

Lois: Well, that sucks.

Superman: It happens a lot. I'm Superman.

Lois: It's worth it to be with you. I wuv -

All of Metropolis: Superman, while you're sitting here doing nothing in particular, can we have your autograph?

Superman: Sure thing! I love my public! I'm Superman!

Lois: What about me? Your date? I wuv -

Superman: Sorry, gotta go save the day. I'm Superman. *woosh*

Three hours later:

Lois: That's it. I'm leaving! That was the -

Thug: Superman's date? I'm going to kidnap you.

*Lois beats him up*

Lois: - worst date ever! What a jerk! I'm never going out with him again!

Clark: Well, that solves that problem. Now she hates Superman. I'm a genius!

Hmm. That one didn't turn out to be very short, did it? Maybe I can do better this time...

Persephone\'s Return

Clark: Jason Mazik wants me to kill you.

Lois: I've got an idea! Have Superman meet me at my place!

A few minutes later, at Lois's apartment:

Superman: OMG! She's dead!

Lois's note: I'm fine. I took a resurrection pill.

Superman: OMG! You're a genius.

Lois's note: P.S. I love Clark.

Superman: W00T!

That night...

Clark: I'm Superman...

The voices in Lois's head: That jerk!

Clark: ... and I love you, too.

The voices: Awww.

Clark: Lois, will you ma --

Lois: Clark, we haven't even dated yet.

Clark: Oh, right. I forgot that bit. Lois, will you go out with me?

Lois: Yeah, okay.

Clark: W00T!

*smoochies*

Okay, here's a lame one:

The Eyes Unfettered

Mayson: So should I pick you up on Friday for a weekend at my mountain cabin?

Lois's phone rings.

Clark eavesdrops, then answers, "Sorry, I'm not that kinda guy," while dropping an obvious hint for Lois.

Lois picks up that hint and marches him into the conference room.

Lois: You're Superman. I'm mad at you.

Clark starts to explain.

Lois: Oops! Gotta go meet a source. Come be my bodyguard, then you better explain.

Clark: Uh huh, sure.

Ok let's see if I can do this. It's a digest version of That Old Spoof of Mine

Clark: I look hot in pinstripes and I smoke, Moneynickel.

Lois: You sound ridiculous, and I *will* hurt you if you don't drop that nickname.

Clark: But I can do it in Georgie Hairdo's, right?

Lois: Whatever, just get to work. And stop flirting with Bonnie Parker!

Clark: Don't worry, I can take on some gangsters and get shot. I'm Superman.

Lois: Not in this season you are! Fall down and die!

Clark: FINE...

Lois: Hey, just go with the dream I'm having. Take it up with the writers later.

JD

Zombies Ate My Homework

(Yes, a reader's digest version of a super short. I don't have much else to work with, you know...)

Hi. My father is an alien who spends his spare time flying around in tights. My mother is a professional troublemaker. My life is weird. I mean really weird. So weird that the only thing that seems strange to me is normalcy. Like, this one time, I was sitting in my room, doing my homework, and...



Zombie: Grr. Argh.

Great. Now I have to hope that my teacher will accept a note that says, "Please excuse Laurel Kent. A zombie ate her book report. Sincerely, Superman."

Oh well. At least it's not boring.

Let's see what I can do... *lol* A Sister Would Know

Lois: Hey Luce! You'll never guess what Clark did today... Hey, by the way, why don't you come and have a few drinks with us?

Lucy: You bet!

Later...

Lois: Lucy, this is Clark. Clark, this is Lucy.

Lucy: Excuse-me, I need to go freshen up.

Shortly after, in the washrooms...

Lucy: Oh, my God he's so dreamy! But wait... The chin, the jaw line! Yes! Clark Kent is Batman!

Another. hehe! To Be Like Him

OMG! I can shoot laser from my eyes?

OMG! That's normal?

OMG! My father is Superman?

OMG! Clark Kent is Superman?

OMG! I was adopted and my real parents are from an alternate universe?

*thud*

Okies... last one. This is too funny! All Weathered Out

Lois: It's so hot outside!

Scientists: It's Superman's fault!

Judge: Superman, you can't be super anymore.

Mean Super-Villains: Yay! They're buying it, we will rule Metropolis!

Horrible train wreck. Superman saves the day. Temperature rises up, up and... away!

Mayor: Superman, leave Metropolis. Now!

Clark: Goodbye Lois.

Lois: Noooooo! Why? *cries* OMG! Clark? You're Superman!

Clark: Yes. Goodbye Lois.

Mean Super-Villains: Metropolis is ours! Let's drown everyone! *evil laugh*

Supporting cast of characters: It's the Superman Revenge Squad's fault! We will help save Superman! Flash, Aquaman, to the rescue!! Lois, call Superman, we need him back!

Lois: Martha, I know the secret. Tell Clark to come back. It's not his fault and I miss him sooooooo much! *almost cries*

*whoooosh*

Superman/Clark: You missed me? Really, really? For real and you're not kidding?

Lois: Yes, but go save the city first.

*whoooosh*

Justice League is born. Heroes save city. Mess is cleaned up.

Lois to Clark: I'm mad at you.

Clark: No you're not. *smooch* Really, seriously, you're so not mad at me. *smooch*

Lois: Ok, I'm not.

Clark: I love you.

Lois: I'm in love with you too.

*smoochies*

Okay, I didn't read all of these, as some of them are spoilers for stories I still want to read... but I did read Paul's and ROTFL! Especially Persephone's Return! That was hilarious!!!

Sara

"Not All Geese Are Wild"

After Clark was shot Lois saw a freelance article and was convinced that Clark wrote it under the name Clint Kemp.

She went to confront his parents but just as she was starting to decide that Clark really was dead, she saw evidence that Clint Kemp had called the Kents. With renewed determination she tracked down Clint Kemp and found Clark!

After they fought, she realized she was being silly and decided to stay with Clark, especially after he asked her to marry him.

Three years later, Jimmy found a romance novel written under Lois' new name and brought it to Perry's attention, since it perfectly followed Lois and Clark's short life together.

The End

The Entire Martha and Lara Series
If I leave anything out, let me know...

----------------------------

The Big Debut

Lance Sharper: Hi! I'm a silly reporter with a somewhat pun-ish name! News Flash: Alt-Superman is Alt-Clark Kent, Alt-Lois Lane is alive, and they have kids! Their twin daughters are 16, and so is the author! (Though actually,it's really her *dad's* birthday!)

*Report is conveniently cut off before we ever learn what station--if any---lance works for.*


Mysteries of Life

Lil' Twins: Dad, where do babies come from?

Alt-Clark: Uh.... *runs*

Lil' Twins: Great...he doesn't know either :rolleyes:


The Talk I & II

Lil' David: Dad----

Alt-Clark: I know, I know--"where do babies come from," right? Well guess what; I'm finally prepared for that one! HAH!

Lil' David: Actually, I want to know what sodomy is.

Alt-Clark: Crap. Okay, just gimme a moment or two to fumble----

Lil' David: I want to know because my friend's dad said that aliens and humans don't mix. And he's really mean.

Alt-Clark: Ah. Well, sodomy is wrong, but we didn't do it. Now start asking normal questions!


Louissa and Mark: The New Adventures of the Hulk

Twins: We are sad because our favorite show was ripped off the air----much like its real life counterpart.

Alt-Clark: Just go online and check out the Archive's alternate-universe doppleganger. Shows about reporters-who-are-really-superheroes are silly.


Now That's What I Call Art!

(Twin)Lara Kent: Sis, you have weird taste in movies. I'm not letting you pick anymore.

(Twin)Martha Kent: Okay. Let's go beat up bad guys, then.


Bride of the Butcher

David: Sis, you have weird taste in movies. I'm not letting you pick anymore.

(Twin) Martha Kent: What th-----?

L&C: Hi!

Alt-L&C: Hi!

HG Wells: Hi!

Tempus: Mpf!

David and Martha: ...Ok...


Revenge of the Bride of the Twelve Thirsty Butchers

*Troy and Martha run off to see a bizarre movie*

David and Lara: That does it. Let's film some random stuff to make fun of her.

*later...*

Martha: You shot some random stuff. Cool!

Lara and David: H8!

Martha: 'Sok, I get the point. Wanna go watch some low-brow action flick with explosions, car-chases, and aliens who invade earth for pretty much no reason?

Lara and David: We love you.

And...that should be pretty much it!

Hilarious, Mary. But what about the one where they take Tempus to see that crazy movie as punishment. Is that Bride of the Butcher? I didn't recognize it.

Edit: It is. You just left that part out.