Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Fanfic Challenge 100 Ways to Kill Superman

Hallelu-yer! I'm back from the dead and (temporarily) loving life! After the death of my laptop, my subsequent mental breakdown, recovering my hard drive, moving away, setting everything up, finishing shooting my film, getting my new class schedule, having another awful week, and now finally having internet service up here in the Boonies (YAY!!! Can't wait to get my laptop back in a day or two- and then I'm back at maximum capacity!!

To kick it off, I have a good challenge-like thing for you all: I'd like to make a rather conclusive list of ways to kill Superman. (It sounds terrible, and yet I can't get the smile off my face ) And for you smart people out there, please don't just say "kryptonite". Be clever. They can be funny or serious scenarios, and I open it up to anyone to take one and run with it. I'll give a couple to start.

1. Superman is trying to put a stop to some Metropolis gang wars, only to discover that an unknown enemy has distributed Kryptonite bullets to gang members. (obviously a more serious one)

2. Clark goes to his regular mani-pedi appointment, unaware that Kryptonite has been infused into one of the many nail care products used. Afterwards, he bites his nails- ends up dead. (obviously more funny)

3. Clark adopts a puppy who has regularly been fed dog food and treats that are laced with Kryptonite. The dog licks his face. Clark dies. (Props to my mother for the last two ).

4. Superman is an alcohol connisseur (since it has no effect on him, he can drink just for the taste and test new products). Then one day, someone gives him some glowing green booze... found dead in a gutter the next day.

Please, folcs, get to 100!

Mouserocks

Is it bad that I am sitting here laughing hysterically and trying to conjure up things to add to this list?

No, that's the idea. Don't worry. The ideas come better when it's somewhere past midnight and you start losing your marbles. Just imagine a montage of Clark dying (not as gruesome as it sounds, I swear) in different ways- gases, liquids, literal chunks of rocks, etc.

Have fun!

Actually, I want to make a video montage of all of Lois and Clark's "close calls" to "Another Way You Can Die" by the Trans Siberian Orchestra. You know, if I could make montages.

Song

5) Superman goes to Career Day at a school. Unfortunately, it is also show-and-tell day and a kid brings a piece of Kryptonite that he found.

Aw, guys, you're going for the obvious choices of course. K-poisioning.

6) Lois marries Lex Luthor because she LOVES him - Clark dies of a broken heart.

7) SuperClone and Clark duke it out. SuperClone snaps Clark's neck.

8) Deathstroke returns. He and Clark battle it out in the rain. Deathstroke zaps Clark. The water increases the conductivity of Deathstroke's powers and Clark dies of a literal broken heart. Of course, this probably kills Deathstroke too.

9) Clark flies up 30,000 feet to save a diabled plane. Unfortunately, the plane is carrying a cargo of unsheilded Kryptonite. Clark weakens as he reaches the plane. His powers go "offline" and he falls to Earth. The impact causes a small crater and kills Clark.

10) Clark is exposed to Kryptonite and weakens. Unfortunately, he's standing on train tracks at the time about to stop an out of control locomotive. Clark becomes a greasy spot on the front of the train.

11) Martha and Jonathan walk in on Lois and Clark having sex. Clark dies of embarrassment.

12) An alternate version of Lois and Clarks: Wells rescues Clark who wanders in on the almost-kiss between Lois and alt-Clark. In a fit of jealousy, Clark attacks alt-Clark who kills him in self defense.

13) Clark is very long-lived. In the 22nd century, he volunteers to be the first sentient 'guinea pig' for teleportation. As frequently happens with transporters, the experiment goes horribly wrong; his atoms are scattered across the universe.

14) Someone on the Kerth awards committee decides that the awards would be more attractive if they glowed green...

Joy,
Lynn

15) Wells takes Lois and Clark into an Alt-dimension where there's no such things as aliens. Clark simply ceases to exist.

16) Tempus travels to Krypton just before it explodes and slips a piece of Kryptonite into the space ship.

(17) Lois decides to kink up their married life by making Clark vulnerable and susceptible to such things as silk scarves and handcuffs. Turns out, she got the dose wrong. (gist of the idea taken from fabulously fun tale on the dark side)

Michael

(18) Clark uses a red K ray to give Lois his powers, but over-does it; she hugs him in thanks and crushes him.

19) Clark destroys Nightfall and in reward for his troubles is sucked into a black hole.

Hhhhmmm. There a thought...

20) An earthquake hits Metropolis while Clark is shaving; the mirror falls forward and his heat vision is reflected down his body, cutting him in two.

Umm... If his heat vision doesn't cut his chin when he shaves, why would it cut any other part of him?

(Sorry for the cutting remark. ;-) )

Joy,
Lynn

21) Tempus actually succeeds in killing Clark by the time window collapsing just like wells had predicted. How this affects Lois and Alt-Clark are things the author will have to deal with.

22) Clark dies from Lois's cooking (your choice how that would occur, obviously kryptonite is probably involved.) Possibly the rumaki?

Oh and Darth, Darth, Darth. I absolutely love that one.

Come to think of it, there may be a couple out there that play on #21 but I don't know exactly which ones they are.

Fabulous, folcs! Keep it up! Darth, I love yours- I nearly died laughing!

Hmm...

OOH!!!

Sounds like fun! Maybe sometime I'll have to introduce you to two of my best friends-- FCP and After Effects! They make montages nice and easy. Your biggest time consumer would be in finding and collecting every one of those clips... And I love Trans-Siberian Orchestra!