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Lois is currently a very bad girl...er... woman on the boards: planning to, and sometimes actually breaking laws (and possibly getting caught doing so) left and right in some of our fanfics at the moment. It made me wonder what other things she and Clark actually did during their four seasons of LnC, which weren't exactly legal. While trying to figure out where Lois's crimes for my big heavy A-Plot arc fit on the below referenced NY felony scale (standing in for the one for New Troy, which was strangely absent from the Internet), I noticed that some of the descriptions for these felonies sounded vaguely familiar, as in our favorite hero and heroine allegedly did the crime on the show. So, here's the challenge : List as many crimes as possible (I don't know if we'll get to 100, but we can try). Include the Episode in which the crime takes place, Who perpetrated the crime, and What the crime was. I'm looking mostly for Lois and Clark crimes, but will also accept any by other Daily Planet regulars (Perry, Jimmy, Cat) and family members (Ellen, Sam, Lucy, Martha, and Jonathan), basically the good guys! If Clark or Superman committed a crime, please be specific on which persona committed the crime (as shown below). Let's see what our heroes were able to get away with. I'll get us started: 1) The Pilot: Lois and Jimmy (and then Clark) Trespassed into a secure area of EPRAD to take a look at the Messenger wreckage. 2) The Pilot: Lois and Jimmy broke and entered the Messenger Hangar (using a lock pick). 3) The Pilot: Clark broke in (literally) and entered the Messenger Hangar, causing willful property damage to the Messenger hangar's door. 4) TOGOM: Superman dangles Dillinger upside-down from a building to gain information. (Attempted Murder in the 2nd degree?, Attempted Assault?, Menacing in the 3rd degree, Reckless Endangerment, etc.) [Let's not get into nit-picking whether or not this constitutes a crime since Dillinger is technically a clone. That's just a whole other can of worms. For the sake of this discussion, let's just say a clone life is equal to a human or Kryptonian.] 5) Ides of Metropolis: Lois bribes the bailiff to let her have 'a minute alone' with Eugene Laderman in the holding cell. ("Rewarding Official Misconduct in the first degree") And so on.... Good luck! *** Recently I was doing research, I stumbled onto this great website which describes the different crimes in NY by class: NY Crimes by Offense Level (which breaks down the difference between a Class A Felony, Class B Felony, etc. Great research tool BTW). It gives a great description of the different crimes out there and the differentiation between them.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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6) Clark (albeit using some super abilities) stole jewelry for Mazik in "And the Answer Is." True, he was coerced into doing so, so the courts would probably go easy on him if he had actually been brought to trial, but he did, nevertheless, steal from a jewelry store.
7) Clark as Clark stole a sample of Mentamide 5 in "Smart Kids."
8) Clark as Clark stole an atomizer of Revenge in PML.
So much for Clark/Superman being the bastion of lawfulness.
Since I have to get ready for work, I don't have time even to begin listing all the times Lois (sometimes with Clark) committed breaking and entering, as well as other felonies. Oh, all right...I'll list just two of hers to bring the count up to an even ten.
9) Lois committed B&E in HiM.
10) I don't know whether Lois committed B&E in ASU, but at the very least she was trespassing.
Joy, Lynn
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Originally posted by Lynn S. M.: 10) I don't know whether Lois committed B&E in ASU, but at the very least she was trespassing. When did Lois trespass in ASU?
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Originally posted by VirginiaR: 5) Ides of Metropolis: Lois bribes the bailiff to let her have 'a minute alone' with Eugene Laderman in the holding cell. ("Rewarding Official Misconduct in the first degree") 11) Uh, hello! Wouldn't hiding Eugene, an escaped convict, be considered "aiding and abetting"? Come to think of it, 12) in DLW Superman breaks Lois out of prison. Bad Superman, bad... Lonnie
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Originally posted by Lonnie: 11) Uh, hello! Wouldn't hiding Eugene, an escaped convict, be considered "aiding and abetting"? Yes, "Harboring an escaped felon." 13) IoM: Lois takes away Eugene's gun from him (but we never see exactly what she does with it.) So, possession of stolen property / unregistered firearm / concealed weapon. 14) Madame Ex: Lois steals medical files from Dr. Heller's office (locking the temp in a room to do so). Theft.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Originally posted by VirginiaR: When did Lois trespass in ASU? Oops. I must be misrembering episodes. In which one did Lex catch her nosing about in his office? Or was that a fanfic I'm remembering? Oh well. In lieu of my old 10, I submit this: 10) Superman breaks Lois out of prison on DLW. Better? Joy, Lynn p.s., Revision: I answered your post before I read Lonnie's. I see that my new #10 was actually already taken as #12. Hmmm... Let me think a few minutes... OK, how about: 10) In OP, Superman appears to freeze Spenser Spenser to death. Would that count? Admittedly, he would undoubtedly be exonerated on the grounds that his actions were in self-defense. Also, do we even know with which country the island is supposed to be a part of -- hence with which laws might apply there?
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15) Clark impersonates a police officer in Church of Metropolis.
16) Clark bends Luthor's sword in Neverending Battle. Destruction of personal property.
Battle On, Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: 16) Clark bends Luthor's sword in Neverending Battle. Destruction of personal property. Psst. I think that was Superman, not Clark. 17) Neverending Battle: Superman shoots a gun at Lex Luthor (okay, he deserved it). Attempted murder / Reckless endangerment. 18) The Pilot: Superman and Lois both trespass onto the Prometheus shuttle. Lois also planned on traveling without permission / stowaway.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Originally posted by Lynn S. M.: 10) In OP, Superman appears to freeze Spenser Spenser to death. Would that count? Admittedly, he would undoubtedly be exonerated on the grounds that his actions were in self-defense. Also, do we even know with which country the island is supposed to be a part of -- hence with which laws might apply there? That could be considered an accidental death since Clark/Superman* merely opened the liquid nitrogen container. Superman could have defrosted Spencer again later with his heat vision, but the "security" guards blind shooting broke the Spencer-icicle. Hmmm. Therefore, he could also be considered an accessory to the crime, couldn't he? *Since Spencer Spencer knew that CK=SM either name would work here. 19) AtAI: Superman murders Lois Lane with his freezing breath, or would this be considered suicide by superhero? (Reckless endangerment) 20) Voice from the Past: Superman murders Lois Lane (AGAIN) by freezing breath. (Reckless Endangerment, AGAIN)
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Originally posted by VirginiaR: 19) AtAI: Superman murders Lois Lane with his freezing breath, or would this be considered suicide by superhero? Since Lois asked (begged, actually) to be frozen, I would say the latter. 20) Voice from the Past: Superman murders Lois Lane (AGAIN) by freezing breath. Actually, in both of these, she was just "mostly dead," so the worst he could be charged with would be attempted murder. Actually not even that -- in neither case did he have the intent to kill her. I'm not sure what this would be: Practicing medicine without a license, maybe? Joy, Lynn
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Originally posted by Lynn S. M.: Actually, in both of these, she was just "mostly dead," so the worst he could be charged with would be attempted murder. Actually not even that -- in neither case did he have the intent to kill her. I'm not sure what this would be: Practicing medicine without a license, maybe? Reckless endangerment, i.e. doing something that could lead to the (permanent) death of someone else.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Originally posted by VirginiaR: Reckless endangerment, Yup. That would be it. Joy, Lynn
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Wow! We've already reached 20. Maybe 100 isn't such a difficult goal after all. 21) Swear to God: Clark destroys Lamont's (Leo Nunk's photographer) film using his vision do-hicky (x-ray vision). Although, being that nobody present except Lois knows that CK=SM and she'd never testify against her husband, I doubt this willful destruction of property would ever make it to court.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Originally posted by VirginiaR: Originally posted by Deadly Chakram: [b] 16) Clark bends Luthor's sword in Neverending Battle. Destruction of personal property. Psst. I think that was Superman, not Clark.
17) Neverending Battle: Superman shoots a gun at Lex Luthor (okay, he deserved it). Attempted murder / Reckless endangerment.
18) The Pilot: Superman and Lois both trespass onto the Prometheus shuttle. Lois also planned on traveling without permission / stowaway. [/b]Point taken. 22) In the Pilot, Clark uses his heat vision to destroy the engine of the machinery that was about to demolish the theater. 23) In TOGoM, Clark fakes his own death. (Granted, he finds a way to resurrect himself...)
Battle On, Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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17) Neverending Battle: Superman shoots a gun at Lex Luthor (okay, he deserved it). Attempted murder / Reckless endangerment. Totally off topic, but I wonder what would have happened if, in this scene, Lex suddenly produced Kryptonite and Superman wasn't able to catch the bullet he shot at Luthor.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Lois is currently a very bad girl...er... woman on the boards: Michael (edited titles)
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26) PML - Perry sexually harasses Rehaila.
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"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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26a) PML - Lois sexually harassed Clark.
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Originally posted by Darth Michael: <strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Lois is currently a very bad girl...er... woman on the boards: . I think that was Battleground Earth, too, Michael, and it wasn't Clark, but Superman (Kal-El). 25) LotF: Lois. Solicitation. If she's not charging Kal-El for her services, is it really solicitation? KAL-EL: And you'd think I'd get a little more services than kisses. LOIS: KAL-EL: Just saying, honey...
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Originally posted by Lynn S. M.: 26a) PML - Lois sexually harassed Clark. But, he'd never press charges on that.
Battle On, Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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