Table of contents is here .

LAST TIME ON EMII...

"There's something you haven't told me, isn't there?"

CJ took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly. "Yes," he whispered reluctantly.

"Come on then. Out with it." Her words were brusque, but her tone was gently cajoling, offering him encouragement rather than making demands of him.

Despite her command, CJ found himself reluctant to comply. "I'm not sure," he said, "how you'll react. It's a little... bizarre."

One corner of Lois's lips quirked into an amused half-smile. "That from a man who claims to have visited another dimension and who flies! What could possibly be more bizarre than that?"

When put in those terms, CJ decided that what he had to tell her probably wasn't so very momentous after all. The old saying about mountains and molehills flitted across his mind; he suspected that he'd never personally experienced something that fitted the cliché quite as well as this.

Thus encouraged, he suddenly found it easy to say the words. "I'm not human, Lois."

NOW READ ON.


CHAPTER ELEVEN


"Pardon?" she said. "For a moment there I thought you said—"

Clearly, despite her previous reassurances, CJ's revelation nonetheless had the power to shake her. His momentary confidence vanished as quickly as it had come. Nervous once more, he swallowed and nodded. However, now that he had found the courage to tell her the truth about himself, he found that couldn't back away from it again. He repeated his words, more slowly this time. Solemnly he said, "I'm not human."

Her eyes were wide as she stared at him. Then she said doubtfully, "How can you not be human? You look like a man to me."

"I am a man, Lois. Just not..." CJ squeezed out from beneath her, stood up and began to pace. After crossing the floor-space three times, he turned back to face her. To his relief he saw that the worst of the shock had already left her. There was no repugnance on her face, just an expression of expectant curiosity as she waited patiently for him to continue his explanation.

"Sit," she said gently. She patted the seat next to hers, reinforcing her invitation. "Tell me the whole story."

CJ smiled a thank you for her willingness to understand before condemning him. However, it was a weak affair.

Stiff with nervous tension, CJ sat down again and began to talk. He told her about his parents and how they had found him in a field near their farm, about how they had taken him home with them, deciding to raise him as their own. Then he explained about the various scenarios they had come up with to explain his presence in the tiny space craft, and why they had always assumed that he was human.

Finally he told her about the things he had learned from Lois and Clark. He explained about Krypton, about what he knew of Clark's globe, and how, now, he desperately longed to find his own. He was inclined, he said, to believe that his origins were much like Clark's but, until he had his own globe, he couldn't know for sure. After all, although there were similarities between their worlds, there were also subtle differences. The same was true of the two men.

*****

Lois was uncomfortably aware of CJ sitting next to her, his head hanging low as he stared at his hands. He was waiting for Lois to say something, but Lois didn't know what to say.

CJ was an alien.

No, she amended silently. CJ was probably an alien. He believed he was, but nobody could know for sure unless this mysterious globe showed up to confirm the hypothesis.

It was a huge thing for her to take in, but, she supposed, no more incredible than any of the other things he'd told her.

Did it matter? It clearly mattered to CJ, but did it matter to her? She wasn't sure. She didn't think it did, but—

She heard CJ's voice as if it was coming from a great distance, not just two feet. "...I think I'd better be going now."

There was something wrong, but she couldn't quite work out what it was. Was it that he was saying that he was going, or was it something about the manner in which he was saying the words?

She didn't know, and with everything that was vying for attention in her head, she didn't think she was capable of figuring it out.

She felt herself standing up, heard herself say something about coming by his place as soon as she could in the morning, and found herself closing the front door after him.

Her apartment suddenly seemed large and uncomfortably empty now that she only had her disjointed thoughts for company, which was odd, because it had always seemed, if anything, to be a little on the small side.

CJ was an alien, she thought again.

She remembered something Perry had taught her early on in her time at the Planet. "If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and talks like a duck, chances are, it is a duck."

CJ was human in every way that mattered to Lois.

And she'd just let him leave without letting him know that! She felt terrible.

But something else was nagging at the back of her mind, demanding her attention, even as she felt a wave of guilt crash over her. Something about what he'd said, she thought.

She chased the elusive connection around in her head for a while before catching it and pinning it down.

CJ thought he was an alien because his counterpart was an alien, and he was writing himself a parallel history. This was one more parallel in a string of parallels that were being put in front of her as faits accomplis.

Yet again, she found herself wondering whether CJ's interest in her was another of these parallels, and nothing more.

Being with CJ felt so right, but she wanted to be with him because she chose to be, not because God, fate or destiny decreed it. Perhaps, at the end of the day, it didn't matter how they came together, so long as they could find happiness with one another, but that didn't stop her wanting to feel as though she had the ultimate say over her future.

She supposed her disinclination to trust fate had something to do with her past experiences. How could she willingly place responsibility for her future happiness into the hands of a greater power? Doing that would be to accept that such a power must have held equal responsibility for her dysfunctional childhood, for the death of her cousin, and for driving a good man like CJ into a pit of guilt and despair. She could accept all those things so much more easily if they could be attributed solely to the vagaries of chance.

More than that, though, she wanted to feel that there was something special – something unique, even – about her relationship with CJ. She didn't want to be trapped in some distorted mirror version of their counterparts' lives.

Put like that, Lois suddenly didn't feel so bad about the fact that she and CJ, within the context of the investigation, had found more differences than similarities between the two words. In fact, it was almost... reassuring.

And yet... Being with CJ felt so right, somehow.

It was odd, she thought, how her thoughts had found they way back to that point, as though it was the one safe harbour available to her in a maelstrom of uncertainty.


*****************
Saturday 2 May, 1997
*****************

CJ shifted position on his chair and stared down at the list he'd been working on. He screwed up his mouth thoughtfully. Then he straightened, placing a hand in the small of his back to help ease away some of the kinks in his spine. He stood up, took the two steps necessary to reach his fridge, and pulled out a carton of orange juice. He took a lengthy swig before returning to the dining table and sitting down again. He sighed.

Trying to reconcile Lois and Clark's Luthor information to this world was proving to be far more difficult than he'd envisaged at the outset. He was glad he hadn't known how hard it would be because, disheartened as he now was, he wondered whether he would have ever found the will to start on the project. Yet, having started, he knew that he wouldn't give up. It wasn't in his nature to abandon projects half way through. Plus, he clung to the words of encouragement he'd given Lois the night before.

Whatever you can do, that's enough.

If he wouldn't allow her to give up, how could he, himself, do so?

The trouble was that the differences between the two worlds were far greater than he had thought they'd be. Some people appeared to have completely different personalities, like Asabi and Nigel St John. CJ had, in the last few hours, managed to add several more people to that category. Emmett and Rollie Vale, no matter that the furthest east their ancestors had ever been was Scunthorpe, England, were apparently a circus act called The Flying Walenskis. Chip Peterson, who had been one of Luthor's minions in the other world, was doing a PhD in anthropology in this one. Apparently he was currently doing fieldwork in Amazonia, living as one with a native tribe. Other people were dead; Dr Mamba, for instance, had been killed in a plane crash in 1987. CJ was reasonably certain Luthor had had nothing to do with that.

So, yes, CJ was discouraged. But, he told himself firmly, he was not defeated. He would not admit defeat until every last avenue of investigation had been exhausted, and they were nowhere near that point yet. Each person he and Lois managed to eliminate from the investigation was progress of a sort. All he and Lois needed to find was one good lead. If they could just find that, all the dead ends he'd pursued would have been worthwhile.

And, thinking of Lois... CJ's superhearing had switched on again, alerting him to light footsteps running up the steps to his apartment. When, he wondered, had he become so attuned to her that he could distinguish her footfalls from everyone else's?

CJ felt his mood lighten immediately before it lurched downwards with sudden trepidation as he remembered just how the previous evening had ended, and the uncertainties that lay ahead.

There was a tap on the glass and an immediate call of, "Hey, CJ, open up! I've brought breakfast!"

She didn't sound angry or tentative, thought CJ, and that gave him a measure of hope.

CJ rushed over to open the door for her, and there was a moment's awkwardness as he realised, circumstances being what they were, that he didn't know how to greet her. In the end, he pecked Lois's cheek with his lips. His heart soared when Lois made it clear that this was not enough for her. She pulled away and said, "Nice to see you, too, CJ. Now kiss me properly. On the lips." Her words were light, and carried with them a curious blend of impatient humour.

She didn't care! he thought joyously. He'd told her that he was an alien, and, after sleeping on it, she'd obviously decided that she didn't care! Or, if she did, she was doing a masterful job of hiding the fact from him. Certainly, she wasn't letting it hold back their blossoming relationship, and that was more than enough for him.

"With pleasure, ma'am!" he said, and did as she commanded.

She tasted of toothpaste, fresh and minty. He hoped he tasted as good to her, but he doubted it. He probably had stale-coffee-and-juice breath. However, she neither complained nor pulled away, so, maybe, these latest insecurities were for nought.

In any case, if she didn't care that he was an alien, how likely was it that a little coffee-breath would faze her?

Lois seemed as satisfied by the kiss as he was. He grinned at her. "Come on in. So what did you bring to eat?"

Lois's idea of breakfast turned out to be bagels, blueberry muffins and fresh fruit. CJ approved. He made coffee, then they sat down, sifting through more paperwork as they ate and drank, using the plates and mugs as paper weights as they worked.

*****

"This is hopeless," said Lois, frustration hardening her tone. "I can't find anything useful here at all, and we've been at it for ages."

CJ looked up from his laptop and glanced at his watch. "Oh, my! We've been at this for almost two hours! Time for a break, I think."

"H'm," said Lois, but CJ wasn't sure she'd heard him because she was already re-immersing herself in her work.

CJ shook his head fractionally, his lips twitching affectionately as he looked at her. Then, stealthily, so as not to disturb her, he removed the remains of the breakfast things from the table, only to return a couple of minutes later with fresh coffee.

"Lois?"

He could feel her jump as his fingertips brushed against the back of her hand, as he tried to get her attention. "Wha'...?"

"Sorry. I didn't mean to startle you." He held out the mug to her. "Here."

He couldn't help but notice the way her hand shook as she took the mug from him, or how her fingertips burned his skin as they touched. A fizzing electric shock coursed up his arm and through his body. The sensation was so powerful that he almost jumped, too. He swallowed, suddenly feeling tongue-tied. How come he'd never felt like this around Elyse?

"Are you okay?" asked Lois. She was looking up at him, her face marred with concern, and CJ realised that he'd been staring at her.

"Y-yes," he stuttered. "I'm fine. I just..." He shook his head vehemently, shaking away thoughts of how he'd like to ravish her senseless. Now was not the time for that... although surely a little kiss couldn't hurt.

He leaned towards her. He saw Lois's eyes widen slightly as she realised what he was about to do. Hastily she put the mug down, slopping coffee over a couple of papers. She made a half-hearted move as though to mop it up, but CJ stopped her. Right now he could care less about coffee stains on the Luthor files, or marking the table's polished wooden surface. "Leave it," he said, his words almost sounding commanding. Then, "Lois," he breathed. He touched her chin with the fingertips of his right hand, guiding her head around so she faced him.

Her lips parted fractionally, her dark eyes inviting. Then she reached towards him, her hands caressing the sides of his face and grazing his skin as they lowered to wrap around the nape of his neck. He shivered at her touch and his lungful of air seemed to get stuck in the back of his throat as he tried to breathe out.

She got up as she lowered his head, tilting it slightly so their noses didn't brush against one another. Then his lips met hers, sensitive skin against sensitive skin. Her lips were warm against his and, when she allowed him deeper access, her mouth was velvet and satin, a haven of heat and welcome. Nothing had prepared him for this. The kisses they'd shared before had been beautiful, but now seemed almost tame in retrospect. Maybe it was because he'd revealed his deepest secret to her, so he had no reason to hold any part of himself back any longer. Maybe it was simply that the time was right for them to kiss with their souls as well as with their lips. Whatever the reason, the kiss was wanton, passionate.

On Lois's part as well as his own, he noticed.

They pulled apart reluctantly. CJ's pulse was racing and his breathing uneven. Lois was gazing at him, her cheeks were flushed and her lips swollen, and there was an expression akin to awe on her face. He suspected that she saw something similar when she looked at him.

In that moment CJ knew with certainty that her feelings matched his own, that the kiss had been incredible – unbelievable – for both of them.

He'd never felt anything like it; he wondered whether she had. A selfish voice in the back of his head told him that he hoped she had not.

"Wow..." whispered Lois. Now she was brushing her lips with her own fingertips, almost as though she was trying to reassure herself that the kiss had been real.

"Yeah," whispered CJ. "Wow..."

Then Lois suddenly laughed. "Look at us!" she exclaimed. "We're like a pair of love-sick teenagers, mooning on about our first kiss!"

CJ nodded and joined in the laughter. "I know!" Suddenly the laughter left him. "But the kisses... They had been the first for me in a way – they've been the first that have really mattered to me."

"Oh, CJ..." Her arms tightened around him again, and she laid her cheek against his chest. "That's... that's so beautiful."

"And so are you," he whispered to the top of her head.

*****

Lois found it hard to concentrate. That kiss had been unbelievable. Was it her imagination, or did her lips still tingle with its after effects? She felt her eyes drift closed with the languor of passion's echo and unconsciously she raised the finger-tips of her right hand to her mouth.

Who would have guessed that CJ's quiet demeanour masked such a depth of passion? Who would have guessed that she would be capable of reciprocating fully? Certainly, the power of her own response had taken her by surprise.

There had been other men in her life before CJ, of course. But with all of them she'd held something back. It hadn't been deliberate; she hadn't even been aware of doing so at the time. Now, though, with hindsight...

She'd never before kissed anyone like she'd kissed CJ today, with her entire body and soul reaching out and welcoming him in. It had been a completely instinctive act on her part.

Now, thinking back on it, she found the power of her reaction almost frightening.

Almost.

She should be frightened, she told herself. Her doubts about where their relationship might be going couldn't be completely quashed by a single kiss, no matter how spectacular it had been. And yet... She should be frightened, but she wasn't. Rather she felt safe in a way she couldn't quite explain. The closest she could come to describing how she felt was that it was akin to that sense of happiness she felt upon arriving home after a long trip, the feeling of returning to a safe haven that was hers alone. Only this was a hundred – no, a thousand – times better than that.

She felt safe with CJ – comfortable, desired and desirable. She felt a plethora of positive emotions that drove doubts and fears away. If the latter weren't banished completely, they were at least shrunk into not-quite insignificance.

Lois risked a glance at CJ from beneath her eyelashes. He was focusing upon whatever was on the screen of his laptop, but Lois knew that his thoughts weren't with his eyes. Again, she couldn't explain it, but she could feel him looking at her, and if his eyes were elsewhere, then he had to be looking at her with his mind.

Or maybe her imagination was playing tricks on her.

She forced her attention back to her computer screen, and the work she was supposed to be doing.

*****

"You're as discouraged as I am. You might as well admit it."

CJ shook his head, not so much her words weren't true but because he refused to give up. "I... admit," he said reluctantly, "that when I told you, back at the beginning, this was going to be a long shot, I hadn't realised quite how much of a long shot it was going to be. And I admit that we've managed to work our way through all the key players and we haven't found out anything useful."

He sighed, thinking about what they had found out, and all the dead ends they had encountered. Like Fabian Leek, other suspects had never been born: Jaxon Xavier, Amy Valdez and Sheldon Bender fell into that category. Then there was a small number of people who had simply disappeared, apparently without trace.

While the latter group hadn't helped to advance the investigation any, CJ found them particularly intriguing. Jules Johnson and a Mrs Cox (no first name given) had once worked for LexCorp, until they'd vanished some four and twenty-four months ago, respectively. CJ desperately wanted to talk to them, but, like Lois, he feared that they were dead. Certainly, he'd discovered, having made discreet enquiries through his police contacts, missing persons investigations had drawn a blank on both people, and adverts in newspapers from their families pleading with them to get in touch appeared, similarly, to have yielded zero results.

But, if he could track down just one of them... Who knew what they'd find out? CJ was sure that they would discover something of value because nobody disappeared for no reason. That train of thought fuelled his determination, and he found himself saying resolutely, "But I'm not ready to give up quite yet. There are a few more names to go, and until we've done them all..."

"I've got to hand it to you, CJ," Lois said with grudging admiration. "You're pretty determined, aren't you?"

"Stubborn," he said with a grin. "That's what my Dad always used to say. I guess he was right."

"I guess." Lois smiled. "Well, if you're not going to give up yet, I'll be darned if I will. So... next on the list is...?"

"Dr Saxon."

"Did you say... Saxon?" Lois frowned. "I know that name for some reason... But I can't think why." She shook her head fractionally, pushing the thought away as she typed, searching through her database.

"It says here," said CJ, glancing down at his notes, "that he was employed by LexPower, at their nuclear facility."

Lois's fingers stilled and she waited for the page of information she was accessing to finish loading. She began to read. "Well..." she said after a few seconds. She took a deep breath then turned to meet CJ's inquisitive gaze. "It looks as though we might finally be on to something."

CJ got up and moved to stand behind Lois, leaning so that he could read over the top of her head. He could smell her shampoo and the heat of her body warmed his own. Without thinking, he planted a kiss on her temple. She twisted around, finding his mouth with hers, but there was something absentminded about the act. She turned her attention back towards the screen. CJ, wishing that he could stay that focused, forced his gaze to follow hers.

"Says here," she said unnecessarily, "that Dr Peter Saxon worked at the power plant – wow, he was in charge of the engineering division – until two-and-a-half years ago, when he resigned. Since then, he's pretty much gone to ground, but he appears from time to time, campaigning on some environmental issue or other." She sat up so straight that the back of her head collided with CJ's chin. "Ow!" she exclaimed before continuing, immediately forgetting the pain. "Now I remember where I heard of him before! Perry's been on at me for a couple of weeks to write an article about the fish in Hobbs River and the Bay. I've been doing my best to avoid it – it's not my thing. But Saxon... He's the guy Perry told me to interview."


TBC