Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic Clark's Heart (4/10)

Previously, on Clark's Heart:



"But, Clark, if something..."

"Were to happen?" he asked, cutting her off. "What can they do for me at the hospital?"

"They can keep you alive!" she argued, getting slightly heated.

"To what end? I need a transplant, Lois. But unless a miracle happens, there is no way that I can get one."

"We'll see about that," she replied, her tone indicating that she was done arguing the point. She crossed back to the small end table by the couch and picked up the phone.

"What are you doing?" Clark asked, straightening up from where he'd been bent over, leaning on the tank with a forearm.

"Calling my father," Lois answered.

"Lo-is!"

"No, Clark," she said stubbornly, shaking her head at the same time. "I'm calling him and he's going to help us, just like he did the last time you were sick. I can't lose you, Clark." She started to stab the numbers on the dial pad with her finger. "I may not be able to donate an organ or blood to you, but I can, at the very least, get you the very best care out that. And that includes my father, as well as Dr. Klein." Tears had since begun to leak out from the corners of her eyes. "Hi, Daddy?"

Clark felt miserable. He'd always done his best to shield Lois from all the hurts of the world. He'd sworn an oath to himself that, at the very least, he would never make her cry, unless they were tears of happiness. But now she stood there, just across the living room, speaking on the phone, wiping tears from her eyes as her voice cracked while she asked Sam Lane to come to Metropolis as soon as possible.

Heart aching with hurt for Lois, Clark went to her. He drew her into his arms and gently pulled her to the couch while she evaded the specifics of whatever Sam's questions were. Clark wasn't even trying to hear what Sam was saying. He didn't want to use any of his powers. But more importantly, Lois' phone call was bringing up some very important things for him to consider.

What would he tell Sam? How could he, for the second time, prove to his father-in-law that Superman was nothing more than average Joe Clark Kent in a Spandex unitard and a cape? He didn't doubt Sam's ability to keep a secret. If he had, he never would have turned to the man back when he and Lois had thought themselves to be infertile.

What would he tell his own parents? How could he break their hearts by telling them that the son who'd fallen from the skies to mend their broken hearts so long ago was now dying? How could he rip apart the lives and hearts of two of the gentlest, most loving people on the planet? What words could he use, knowing none would lessen the blow?

And Dr. Klein? He'd been leading the man on for years that Clark Kent and Superman, two men the doctor had worked extraordinarily close with, were two separate people. Of course, Clark had deceived the entire world into believing the exact same thing, but he's always felt badly about withholding the full truth from the man who was responsible for helping Clark maintain his health.

Then there was Jimmy and Perry, two of his closest friends in the world. What would he tell them? Sure, he could give them vague information about his condition, but they would want to visit him in the hospital, if it came down to that, and he didn't just die in the shower or something. How could he politely, but firmly, tell them that they could not come to visit? That he didn't want them to see him like that.

Clark's head was swimming and he felt sick to his stomach. He'd met a fellow traveler once, when he was in Nepal, whose view on life was that from the moment a person was born, they began to die, and that all of life was nothing more than borrowed time. Clark had been appalled at the man's pessimism. But now the phrase "borrowed time" kept ringing in his head like a death toll. He could feel precious seconds slipping away from him, could feel Death peering over his shoulder, waiting to take him.

No! he thought violently. I can't give up. I can't think this way. For Lois' sake, I can't think this way. I can't leave her last memories of and with me with me brooding over the inevitable. I know we've always lived our lives knowing that at any moment, my life could end - some criminal with a piece of Kryptonite or a rescue gone wrong that I can't get out of. But to wither away and die? I never thought it would come to this. I have to keep a brave face for Lois. She has enough to deal with right now, growing our son in her womb. I want her to have only happy memories of the two of us together, especially in our final days together. I want to believe her when she says that we'll find a way to save me, but even I, the one who can usually find the sunny side, can't even begin to imagine how that might come to pass.

"Clark? Hunny?"

"Huh?" Clark asked, snapping out of his thoughts.

"My father said he can get here in two days."

"Two days..." Clark mused.

"He broke a tooth and has to get it fixed tomorrow." She shrugged. "That's my family for you."

"It's okay, Lois," he said, trying to ease her annoyance with her father's priorities. "He doesn't know the reason why we're asking him to come. I can wait. Trust me."

She nuzzled herself into his chest even closer. "I'm scared, Clark."

He gently wrapped his arms around her even tighter than before. "I know. I am too."

"What are we going to do?" After her earlier bravado, it was almost comforting, in an odd way, that she was allowing herself to show her vulnerability.

"Whatever we can," he answered simply, because he had no other words to offer. "Whatever we can."


***


"Everyone, please, sit," Lois said as Jonathan poured drinks for himself and Martha.

Sam looked up from the cheese platter, a cube of sharp cheddar impaled by a toothpick between his fingers. A crease of concern rippled on his brow.

"What's going on?" he asked, gesturing for Ellen to take the chair before him while he seated himself on the edge of the coffee table.

Clark reflected, briefly, on how nice it was to see the two getting along. When he'd first met Lois, the word "war" hadn't been sufficient enough to describe their relationship. But eversince Superman had nearly died that one strange Christmas season, the Lanes had begun to mend the wounds they'd inflicted on each other, as well as the ones they'd caused their children.

Jonathan and Martha shifted uncomfortably in their seats. Clark and Lois had both spoken to them at length about letting Sam and Ellen in on the secret, the two of them having dropped everything to take a red-eye flight to Metropolis the day before. Clark had wanted to fly them in himself, but Dr. Klein's warning about using his powers had rung in his ears and chilled him to his very soul. To use his powers, especially in some grand fashion, would put even more stress on his heart, which could very well be fatal.

"There are some things that we needed to talk to you about," Clark said, addressing Sam and Ellen from his place on the couch. He snaked his arm around Lois' waist for the support having her right next to him gave him.

"What kind of things?" Sam asked, sounding a bit concerned.

"Good and bad things," Lois said. "First...the good. We had our in-depth ultrasound the other day. Our son is completely healthy."

"It's a boy?" Sam asked, eyes sparkling in delight. "That's wonderful news!"

"A girl would have been just as wonderful," Ellen put in, not bothering to hide the snark in her voice.

"I never said it wouldn't have been," Sam grumbled under his breath, but the exchange lacked the venom it had once carried, back when Clark had first met the divorced couple.

"A son! How fantastic, Clark," Jonathan said, beaming with pride for his grown boy. "Your mother and I are thrilled."

"Thank you," Clark said, dipping his head in acknowledgement.

"About time too," Ellen put it. "I always said you should have kids earlier, rather than later, while you still have the energy to keep up with them."

"Anyway," Lois said, steering the conversation back to where it needed to be, "we wanted you all to know. We're very excited."

"We're still working on names," Clark said, seeing the unspoken question on his mother's face. "But, once we figure it out, we'll let you know."

In the future, Clark thought to himself, his heart heavy in his chest. A future I no longer have. Not without a miracle. And with this child - this half human, half Kryptonian miracle - on his way, I think I've used up my lifetime's quota of miracles.

"And the bad news is...?" Sam prompted as Clark brooded. "Are you high risk? Carrying multiples? What?"

"No," Lois said. "I'm fine. The baby is fine. And very much alone in there. But believe me, multiples would have been a blessing. Especially given...everything..." She gestured futility. Neither Sam nor Ellen remembered that Clark's unique DNA had been a cause to fear that they would never have any children at all. Nor could had they ever known about the denial they'd been handed when they'd looked into adoption.

"It has nothing to do with our son," Clark said, covering for Lois when it appeared that she was at a loss for words. "It's...me." He dropped his gaze to the carpet. "I'm...I'm sick."

"Sick?" Ellen asked. "Sick how? You look well enough to me."

"Clark's..." Lois had to stop and take a deep breath before continuing.

"It's my heart," Clark said, stepping in when he saw his wife struggling. "It's basically destroyed. Without a transplant, I'll die."

Saying it so many times still hasn't made it any easier to get the words out, he mused.

"My God," Sam said, mouth agape. "Why...how...you're so young!" he stammered.

"It's a little complicated," Clark said, still not able to meet anyone's eyes.

"How complicated can it be?" Ellen asked. "My girlfriend Maribel's husband Joe had heart problems. He went on the transplant list and got a new heart. He's fine now. I think he's running a marathon this fall."

"There are...things...that make it more complicated for me," Clark repeated.

"You're young, you don't smoke or drink to excess, and you're a valued member of society," Sam cut in. "You should get on the list without any problems. Anybody like you would."

"Any normal person," Clark agreed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" his in-laws said almost completely in tandem.

"It means...that Clark and I have something to tell you," Lois said, putting a hand on Clark's back and rubbing soothing circles there. "Something big."

"Something...big?" Sam repeated, the furrow in his brow deepening by the second.

"Huge," Lois said.

"It's a dangerous secret," Jonathan put in. "Something that, if it got out, would destroy all of us, not just Clark."

"I see," Sam said, though it was clear that he didn't.

"It's something that has to stay just between us," Clark said, mentally pleading with his in-laws to understand the gravity of the situation.

"You can't even tell Lucy," Lois added. "She's not exactly the epitome of discretion, most of the time, at least."

"Well, for God's sake, spit it out!" Ellen encouraged, looking at her daughter.

"The thing is...I can't have a transplant," Clark said. "Because my body...isn't compatible with that of a human being."

"Huh?"

"What?"

"Please, Mom, Dad, promise us, that no matter what, you'll never breathe a word of what Clark and I are about to tell you."

"Yes, yes," Ellen said dismissively waving her hand at the stipulations.

"I'm not compatible with humans," Clark repeated. "I can't get a transplant in the usual way. Because, the truth is, I've lied to you. Every day, I lie to the entire world. I'm not a human being. I'm from the planet Krypton. And, although I am Clark Kent, I masquerade as Superman. He's just...an extension of myself, a disguise I use in order to help people." He removed his glasses and set them aside, allowing them to - he hoped - see the familiar face of the alien superhero.

"That's not...it's..." Sam stammered.

"It is," Lois insisted. "He is."

"I can prove it," Clark said. He pointed to a candle in the middle of the coffee table. "Watch."

He'd known all along that he would have to prove his claim of being Superman. He'd thought long and hard about what he could safely do to show that he wasn't lying to them. He couldn't risk a spin change or flying, fearing that it would consume too much energy to do so, thereby putting unnecessary strain on his heart. Carefully, he sent a thin beam of his heat vision at the wick. For a moment, it smoked, then a bright flame burst into existence.

"That's ah..." Sam sputtered, seemingly unable to get anything else verbalized.

"I know," Clark said, nodding his head once in agreement.

"A parlor trick, no more than that," Ellen mumbled, as if trying to convince herself.

"And this?" Clark asked gently.

He picked up one of their steak knives, which he'd placed nearby in case Sam and Ellen had needed further persuasion. With a swift thrust, he brought the blade down on the bare flesh of his arm, point downward in an effort to stab himself. The sharpened steel struck his skin, buckled, bent, then finally snapped, leaving not so much as an indentation in his arm.

"That...is a little harder to explain," Ellen admitted. Clark could see that she knew the knife was very real. After all, it had come from the set Lois had owned before they'd gotten married and purchased a newer set of cutlery for themselves.

"Mom, it's true," Lois said in a gentle voice. "Clark wasn't born on Earth. He is Superman."

Ellen pinched the bridge of her nose, as if warding off a headache. "Of course you would marry an alien," she mumbled under her breath. Then, looking at Jonathan and Martha, she added, "Uh...no offense."

"Clark's DNA might not be human," Lois defended, "but he's more human than anyone else I've ever known."

"And you felt this wasn't something you should share with us?" Ellen accused, though wearily.

"Actually, you did know, once," Clark said. "Sam, you remember Misha?"

Sam nodded. "Sure. We haven't spoken in...I don't know...a year?"

"He had that Bummer-Be-Gone machine," Clark reminded him.

"Yeah..."

"Well, it worked. It hit all of you, when Lois and I were getting Dr. Mensa back under control. It took away your memory of knowing my...our secret."

"Uh...oh," Sam said, sounding as though he was struggling to bring that memory forward but failing.

"Trust us," Lois said, seeing his inner struggle.

"So...why now?" Ellen asked.

"Why are we telling you?" Lois asked. "Because we need your help."

"We need people we can trust," Clark added. "My doctors at S.T.A.R. Labs are working on trying to find and alternative to a transplant for me. I thought they might be able to use the help of another brilliant doctor as they work on saving my life. And, if they are able to figure something out, I need a surgeon that I can trust implicitly. An experienced nurse would be invaluable as well," he said, looking at Ellen.

"I'm not a cardiac surgeon though," Sam said gently.

"I know," Clark said, nodding. "But even so, I need people I can trust, if I ever make it into the operating room."

"Please," Martha said, pleadingly, "you saved my boy once. Please save him again."

Sam took a breath and exhaled it slowly, buying himself some time to think, Clark thought. "I'll do whatever I can," he finally said, his words an oath.

"Me too," Ellen put in.

Clark let out a breath he hadn't noticed he'd been holding inside. "Thank you. I'll get you in contact with Dr. Klein, first thing tomorrow."

As relieved as Clark was to hear that the two were on his side, it did nothing to uncoil the cold knot of fear that lay buried deep in his guts. And, judging from the way Lois was gripping his arm, he knew she felt the same way.

"Thank you," she said to her parents. "You don't know what this means to Clark...or to me."

"We're happy to help, Princess," Sam said, giving her an encouraging smile.

"So...I don't get it," Ellen said, sweeping her gaze back to Clark. "You're an alien. But you go around pretending to be a human."

"Perhaps it's best if Martha and I explain," Jonathan said, sitting forward in his seat a little.

Together, Clark's parents launched into the tale of how they'd found their miracle son, the answer to their prayers, late one warm May evening, out in a field when they'd seen what they'd thought was a meteor come crashing to the Earth. They spoke of how they'd raised him as their own, how they'd never questioned that he had been meant for them and them alone - a parentless child meant to mend the broken hearts of two childless farmers. Clark listened as they recounted how the three of them had come to terms with the fact that he was unlike anyone else, how his powers had manifested, and how he'd learned to control them. He added very little to the story, until it was time for him to reveal how he'd decided to take on the separate persona of Superman, in order to use his abilities to some good, while protecting his privacy so that he could lead a normal life - something he desperately needed the moment he'd met and fallen in love with Lois.

For their part, Sam and Ellen were mostly quiet, asking only the occasional question to clarify what Clark and his parents were saying. When the tale was finally finished, the clock softly chimed. Lois' parents looked dumbstruck and even a little speechless. Ellen's mouth hung slack and Sam seemed to hardly blink. Clark softly cleared his throat.

"I know it's a lot to process," he said as he steepled his fingers before him. "And I know that I probably come off as a liar...what with living two lives, deceiving the entire world."

"It makes sense," Sam said, sounding dazed but coming around slowly. "I can't say I would have done things differently. But the real question remains. What can we do to save you?"

Clark shook his head. "I wish I knew."


***


"Lois! Clark!" Dr. Klein greeted them both, in a tone that was a mixture of relief, terror, surprise, and exhaustion.

He stood clumsily and stumbled over to where they stood in the doorframe of his office. He led them in and pulled two chairs over for them to sit on, before returning to his desk and dragging his stool around to sit before them.

"What brings you two in? Because I have to tell you, I'm up to my eyeballs here in research and testing. I'm not sure I can help you with whatever story you two are working on. But I'm sure Marty can."

"We know you're busy," Clark said.

"Marty?" Lois asked at the same time.

Dr. Klein nodded. "My nephew. He's fresh out of school. Just started here at the beginning of the month, but smart as a whip. Hang on a second. I'll call him for you."

"No!" Lois and Clark said with one voice.

Dr. Klein froze instantly, his hand outstretched toward his phone. He gave them a quizzical look. Clark stood, shut the door to the office, and sat down again.

"We need to talk," Lois said.

"I wish I could. Believe me. But I've been working day and night on...well, a project."

"For Superman," Clark filled in. "We know."

"Ah, I see he told you."

"Not exactly," Clark said, fidgeting.

"Not exactly? Look, I consider you guys friends, but I'm sure you're aware that Superman is counting on me to come up with something...some solution...to his situation as quickly as possible." The edge to the man's voice made him sound nearly hysterical from the stress Clark knew he must be feeling.

"We know all about his situation, and how dire it is," Lois said.

"That's why we've come," Clark said.

A timer buzzed. Dr. Klein held up one finger as he stood. Clark watched as he crossed the office and checked on something in a glass container, that Clark couldn't quite see from his angle. He was tempted to use his super abilities, but restrained himself. It was a constant struggle that he faced, to make the conscious decision not to use his powers. He was so used to using them on a whim - to heat his coffee, to blow out the cigarette of someone who insisted on lighting up in non-smoking areas, to read a file at super speed while at work. But most of all, he missed the sensation of flying, even just floating above the couch while watching television at night. That had always been his favorite ability, ever since it had manifested shortly after his eighteenth birthday.

"No. No, no, no, no, no," Dr. Klein muttered as he ran whatever test it was that he was doing. His body was in the way, preventing Clark from even being able to guess.

"Something wrong?" he asked.

Dr. Klein huffed in annoyance before putting his back to the container. He sat heavily on his stool, pulled off his glasses, and rubbed his tired eyes.

"Another failure," he said, more for his own benefit than for Lois or Clark's.

"What happened?" Lois pressed. "Something you've been working on for Superman?"

"Unfortunately, yes," he admitted. "But so far, in the last three days, nothing I've done has looked promising." He paused a moment, blinking. Then, as though he'd forgotten why they'd come to him, he spoke again. "I'm sorry. You were saying something? That you came for something?"

Clark nodded. "Anything I tell you is strictly confidential, isn't it?"

"Well, I'm not exactly your doctor or anything, but, sure. I'll keep anything you say in confidence."

"Good. Because, the truth is...there's something I haven't told you. Something that...is relevant, to the stuff you're working on for Superman."

"Oh?" he asked, perking up a little in sudden interest in the two reporters before him. "Does Superman know whatever this might be?"

Clark chuckled. "He does. Or, rather, I do."

He removed his glasses and undid the first few buttons on his dress shirt, just enough to pull the material apart to reveal the S shield and blue suit beneath. For a moment, no reaction registered on Dr. Klein's face, save for a look of utter confusion. Then, slowly, it seemed to dawn on the man. His demeanor changed. Confusion gave way to shock. Weariness melted away as his eyes widened and his mouth opened up into a small O.

"Are you telling me...?"

"I am, Dr. Klein. It's all true. He and I are one and the same."

For a long moment, Dr. Klein studied the face before him, saying nothing. Then, finally, "My, God. I mean, I always knew you were close...and always felt like Lois was closer to Superman than a mere friend...but this..." His voice trailed off. He looked pointedly at Lois' belly after a moment. "But that would mean..."

Lois smiled warmly as her hand fluttered to her stomach. "That you were wrong."

"For the first time, I am thrilled to hear that," the doctor said, returning the smile.

"I'm sorry that I lied to you," Clark said, bring the conversation back on track. "But up until now, it was safer for you and me both for this secret to stay hidden." He put his glasses back on and began to button up his shirt once more. "It was never really relevant to the care you provided me either. Until now. If we're able to figure out some method of fixing my heart, we're going to need full disclosure with one another. I'll need to be checked into the hospital under my own name, or assume an alias, because it cannot be known that Superman is dying. Nor can Clark Kent's wife be allowed to be seen in Superman's room at random hours of the day, or waiting for word if Superman goes into surgery."

Dr. Klein nodded. "That would be bad."

"It would be catastrophic," Lois corrected him. "Not only for Clark, but for everyone he's close to. Even if the worst were to happen, if anyone made the connection that Clark is Superman, his loved ones would still be in peril. Especially his son."

Dr. Klein nodded and made a small grunt of agreement. "Good point. So...what do you need from me?"

"I'm glad you asked," Clark said, giving him a smile. "Here's what I'm thinking. You can tell me if what I've come up with isn't possible."

"Sounds fair."

"Well, assuming we find some way of repairing or replacing my heart, I'll need to check into the hospital as Clark. A team of nurses can be assigned to my room, whatever we need to do with that, depending on how long I'll need to be at the hospital. When it's time for the surgery, I've handpicked one of the doctors I'd like to be in the room, who can smuggle in Kryptonite, should we need it."

"And that is...?"

"My father-in-law. Doctor Sam Lane."

"The sports guy?" came the incredulous reply, looking at Lois, rather than Clark. "He's your father?"

Lois nodded. "He is. And he's looking forward to working with you."

"So do I. I mean, he's a legend in the world of sports medicine. Even without the whole robotic replacement parts scandal from a few years back. Tell him to swing by tonight. I'll gather all of Superman's files together for him, so he can have a look at the history."

"That sounds great," Clark said, struck, still, by how calmly Dr. Klein had taken to the revelation that Clark and Superman were the same man. "So, can I ask? How are things looking so far? I realize, of course, that there hasn't been too much time to test things."

Dr. Klein shook his head, and all of his prior weariness seemed to settle back over him, like a thick black cloak. "Not well, I'm afraid. I've been testing - well, stressing - all of the usual fixes in what is a poor approximation of what your body undergoes any time you use your abilities. All have failed miserably within seconds. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. This isn't your fault," Clark assured him.

If it was possible, Dr. Klein's mood darkened further. "I should have seen this coming," he lamented.

"Hey," Clark said, standing and touching the man on his shoulder. "No one could have known. I didn't even suspect that anything was wrong, until the other day."

"I'm your doctor," Dr. Klein argued.

"And I am a complete biological anomaly," Clark reminded him with a grin. "Normal isn't normal for me. Even if we'd been looking for damage, chances are, we wouldn't have found anything."

"I suppose that's true," the doctor grudgingly agreed. "How are you feeling otherwise?"

"So far, since that one attack, I've been feeling okay. Like my usual self, to be honest. The worst part has been forcing myself to not use my powers."

That, and the constant feeling like I have an axe hanging above my head, which could fall at any moment.


To Be Continued...