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Wrong Place, Wrong Time, Wrong Clark TOC can be found Here

I forgot to include a link to the song in the last part, so here’s one from the movie version: Phantom of the Opera

In case you were wondering, I set 'Tempus Anyone?' in February 1996 and 'Lois and Clarks' in November 1996 (since Presidential Elections happen in Nov. in this country and not February of odd years). This is how I came up with 9 months between when Alt-Clark met Lois and he when saw her again in her dimension.

No more in-depth analysis from the author this time. To get any more of that, you'll have to comment. Thanks for reading.

Yikes! How are they going to let Lois know that he's missing?

I have just finished updating all the broken links within the story parts and FDK threads for this story. I'm sorry if this long process was an inconvenience for any of my readers. Also, I started posting this story 5/25/12 and I'm still here plugging away at it. Thank you to any and all of my readers who have stuck with me through these two years. I promise more fun to come.


Christina: Hi, there, Christina. Thanks for commenting.

Uh... ooops?

Look who’s found his spark of hope again. Let’s see how long it takes the evil giant Lex to squash it with one simple step.
GIANT LEX: You call me stupid? Smash! Smash!

Translation: Since Lois has asked her fiancé to fornicate with her.

No, pizza box on the counter? Different fish?

CANON CLARK: See? I *am* able to stop a speeding bullet.
WRONG CLARK: Yeah? Well, you used your abilities to save *Lex* Luthor, so who’s the boob now?

Hmm…I’m thinking he’s also going to believe himself to be the most enduring lover there has ever been.
LOIS: On the plus side, he can also boil a three-minute-egg for breakfast.
LOLA:

LEX: I’m not mad! *evil laughter*

LEX:

Oh, look! A means to count the passage of time.

So, the Lois on the screen is having a grand old time with her beau?

LEX: That super Boy Scout is quite enamored with his misguided sense of self importance, isn’t he?

She’s just been f…fished out of the river!

Strange. Shouldn’t Lois know that she just has to sleep one last time without her husband by her side?

Yeeees. Goooood! Think about just how much like Lex you have become!

ARI: Fascinating. Subject S has become catatonic about 15 minutes into the imprisonment. Apparently, the mental capacity to handling distress is greatly diminished by the presence of substance K in close proximity.

Well, maybe was hoping to get into little Miss Smarty Pants’ pants, so…

Because he’s the only guy she’s offered to, who has graciously declined?

/points at EW/

Well…that’s different. He doesn’t want to sleep with them, so…

LOIS:

CLARK: Well…*Lois*!

Big accessory to hide the fact that she’s much further along than her wedding date would suggest?

Oh, *that’s* what Lex was doing with the Flois. Rehearsing the wedding night.

So, ‘business associate’ is not code for getting green in the pocket?

So…Viagra?



Funny, considering how the buffoon in blue managed to muck that one up.
CLARK: Krytponite!

CLARK: In my defense, it’s not like it’s been important before, so…

Because he’s currently enjoying a spa-and-wine treatment at Chateau du Lex?

Michael

Darth Michael: Yea! Michael's returned from his hunt for the missing Part 7 of Dare... Right? I hope you were successful, because the story doesn't quite have the same bang for the buck without the scene when the maid bursts in. Not that I was procrastinating or anything recently when your TOC got bumped.

Oh, right. My little story...
Um... No, this isn't the story where Clark was shrunken. Has it been *that* long?

SUPERMAN: /sticks his fingers in his ears/ Num, num, num. I can't hear you.

Actually, Lois is quite good at disposing her pizza boxes, and the Ark apartment doesn't have...er... um...
LEX: What? I made a mistake?

Um... Didn't alt-Clark save him too? Or are you talking about when canon Clark shot Lex and caught the bullet?
ALT-CLARK: Yea, I would have been busy rescuing someone who deserved it more.
LOIS: /pssst./ I think they call that murder.
CLARK: But... But... But... That guy in MoS did it!

Okay, if the song lasted 4-5 minutes and it felt like a few seconds, how again would that make him a bad lover?
LOIS: Wow!
CLARK: I'm sorry, Lois. That was *waaaaaaaay* too short. Let's try that again. I'm sure I can hold out longer next time. Please just give me another chance.
LOIS: Well... if you insist, I'll give you only one, possibly two, more chance tonight, but then I have to sleep.

That's true. He actually seems quite happy.

Originally, I chose the entire PotO album over and over, but then decided that wouldn't be enough torture (although, Lex might think so), and would be too easy for Clark to figure out the passage of time (plus, after listening to it I decided there were a few pieces of music on it which actually might give Clark hope instead of despair.) Other music which made the short list included:

“Flight of the Bubblebee” by Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov-- performed only by brass instruments and J.S. Bach – Toccata for organ

Many thanks to Mozartmaid for all of her recommendations. I chose Phantom of the Opera because I figured it would be a piece of music that Lex would consider beneath him as a true music snob, and because it was something most of my readers would be familiar with by name.

LEX: Of course.
FLOIS:

LOIS:

CLARK: Oh, no! It *is* the real Lois!

LEX: Clearly, she can't wait that long for me to return.

Love your smilie, BTW.

It's actually been a couple of hours by this point.

CAT: Well, I should have known that's why he didn't show.

Explains her lack of male friends.



So, by your theory Clark only tells people his secret he doesn't want to sleep with? Or was it vice versa?
LOIS: No, you got right the first time.

CAT:

Because it's doubling as her briefcase / snack bag.

LEX: duh!

Other thugs not yet on the payroll?

Not patented until 1996, so not until SM officially got married and there was a lack of true "supermen" left in the world. Interesting quote from the Wikipedia Viagra page:
First, well, DUH that the hampster wouldn't have jetlag. His mind was elsewhere. "What do you mean the trip's over? I'm not done yet."

Secondly, RE: Athletes. Duh! Isn't that what Viagra is known for? Increased performance.

It's foolproof when enacted. Clark hadn't had a chance to enact it yet.

Isn't that part of the reason he came to this dimension? To get away from everyone who knew CK=SM?

Exactly!

Yeah, it’s all better now. I really got lucky with the upgrade, didn’t I?



So, it Lex were to step on a tiny Clark, would this be like stepping on a big nail sticking up from the floorboards?

No, his interior decorator did.
LEX: *whew!*



Is she going to reevaluate her posiiton while on her honeymoon with Lex?









Oops? Also, no one pulls that look off like the real deal?

I figured from Clark’s POV it would have been hours while really just minutes.





No, I figured people working at the Precinct.

Yeah, I know. Hence the reason for the Sam-Lane-arc in Hell Hath No Fury.

So, the trick to making a foolproof plan is to only include the foolproof parts in the plan?

Yeah, but after his coming out party, he no longer needed to worry about keeping the secret so he could get sloppy.

Michael

Sadly, yes. The old boards wanted to keep your stories and FDK for itself. I understand the feeling. While traveling lately my entire Yahoo contacts and calendar disappeared from my iPhone. Still wondering what happened to it or how to get it back.

Good point.

Yes, that's what I meant.

LOIS: No. It's still going to be "not in the same city" as Lex.

Not even Clois is as attractive to danger as the real deal.

Or not.

So... This is the true reason that Lois hasn't told him the other version of what could have happened in the hospital?

Sorry, is that a fanfic?

No, no. The foolproof part of the plan is not to inform the fool what the plan is.
CLARK: Was I just insulted?

ALT-CLARK: I'm Superman.
WOMEN OF ALT-DIMENSION: Yeah. Everyone knows that. Big surprise there, fella. What else have you got?

Oh dear.
CLARK: Backup?
LOIS:

That sounds like a strange honeymoon arrangement. Don’t couples who get married because they’re in love, or well…he’s in lust and she’s in love with his money, go on a honeymoon together?

So…if Clark is confronted with two Loises, he could place them both in Centennial Park at night, and the one who gets mugged *and* kidnapped would be the real Lois?

Or he could sleep with both of them and the one still alive in the morning is the fake one…

She’s ly- erm modifying the truth so he stops lying to her?

My first born, never made it on the archive, but it’s hiding out here On occasion it can get a tad soapy.




JAMES B. OLSEN: I’m an internet magnate.
WOMEN OF ALT-DIMENSION:

Michael

I don't know if I put it on the cloud. I don't understand the cloud. You put stuff on it, but how do you get it back? And if I have so much stuff on the cloud, why aren't we getting more rain?

No, only the first kind. The second kind begin with separate bedrooms.

CLARK: Sounds about right.
LOIS:

CLARK: Let's go to the park for 1000, Michael.
LOIS: That's what got Lex in Trouble.
CLARK: No, no. That's not what I meant.
LOIS: Didn't you offer that nice man on the boards $1000 to take me to the park?
CLARK: Yes, but...
LOIS: I rest my case.

Possibly.

You know Labrat would love for you to do another pass on it and send it her way.

Hey, look! I found IT Hmmmm. I see it's another one of your vignettes. /adds to list/

The real reason Herb didn't want to introduce Alt-Clark to Alt-Lois?

I don’t use Yahoo or an iPhone, so… All I can say is, that unless something is also stored locally, I treat it as “potentially lost”.


LEX: Why I have a prenup that assures me sexual favors from my bride as I require it if she wants to have any access to some of my money.

Oops?

Plus, Clark offered 500 less than Lex.
CLARK: That’s because we would be going to the nearby park when I pick her up instead of her visiting me in my penthouse.



Yeah…I know…but I would need to straighten some bits out and things like that. You know…edit it and I…umm…I’m scared of that

Hence the need for editing. On the plus side, it got a dark twin.


She goes to bed with a bat?

Michael

MAYSON: That line was removed in negotiation.
LEX: Bender!

CLARK: So, this wasn't part of some elaborate game show?

Isn't that what G.E.'s are for? Oh, you mean, you're scared what you might find on re-reading your first story (i.e. it won't match up to your memory of it?). Yeah, that happens with one early stories. I've been considering whether I should e-publish the first novel I wrote... oh... what year is it?... right 25 years ago. Now, re-reading and editing that monster seems like a scary thought.

I find editing Nfic stories into Gfic stories much more difficult than it sounds. /hence me often walking the tight-rope between them./

If you mean: , I never have a Batman in alt-Dimension, because I figure Mr. and Mrs. Wayne weren't killed off after the movies. So, young alt-Bruce just grew up to be a maladjusted spoiled trust fund brat, with no depth to him whatsoever.
BRUCE: I'm *not* Batman?

If you mean: . Is this to fight off the hoards of competition for Mr. Olsen?

No Sheldon will need to substitute for the wife?
BENDER:
LEX: Hmm…no, we’re good here. Ohhh…Mrs. Co-ox!

The mad Lois having given the game away?

No! That…that…that would be G.E. abuse! They should only find the odd spelling, punctuation, or grammar mistake that slipped past all the EWs, Betas, and ERs…

No, I *know* what’s buried in there. Like for instance ‘*RRRRIIIIINNNNG*’ (or some spelling of the likes), possibly some ‘!?’ double punctuation. And some Checkov’s Guns that were never fired because *someone* couldn’t figure out whether to go left or right.

Especially when the entire plot actually is set up to get Lois and Clark naked and into very close quarters and then you think, okay, most of that story works as PG-13. But should they still consummate their lust or should we remove that part because it’s kind of gratuitous. But then the ending kind of sucks…bad…and you would lose the dangling plot twist at the end which requires a previous consummation for the right oomph.

Funny how it works both ways, huh? You’d think that I chose ‘bat’ intentionally, huh?

Michael

I'm thinking Bender would've noticed that clause.
BENDER: I quit!

Oh, that's not the kind of editing you were referring to?

I don't know. The first one seems okay to me. And even though not grammatically correct the second one does happen occasionally in this story (Actually, I wrote one at the end of Part... well, some upcoming part.) Because sometimes, the speaker *is* exclaiming a question. And the third, well, don't we call those "red herrings"?

You did read Nightfall Honeymoon, didn't you? I danced that line all the way to edge... well, consummation is allowed on Gfic side, just not specifically detailed as on the other side. You know that.

No, it probably should be a bit of a rewrite of some parts…You know, like when you take care of a bonsai tree.

Yeah…I know. And they do it in comics all the time, don’t they?

I guess…?

yeah, I know. I know. It’s just, the entire idea of setting a story up for that one purpose on the gfic side, it just seems…odd. Like you’re cheated out of the climax or something of the sort.

Michael

Me?! No, you don't want someone like me caring for a bonsai. I have a black thumb.



But if you write it right, the reader need never know. I've read several very good stories on the archives which I never knew had Nfic versions until later. Just something to think about.

Oh, that’s why your bonsai grew to 200+ parts instead of remain nice and manageable inside its petri-dish?

Case and point

Oh, You, too?

Yeah. I guess… But if you also post the nfic part. And you know it yourself… /goes looking for a shrink/

Michael