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#254933 06/01/14 01:48 AM
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ShayneT Offline OP
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Getting close to the end...two more chapters.

Last edited by ShayneT; 06/01/14 01:48 AM.
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Beat Reporter
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I need to get to bed but I had to comment. Your action sequences were great! I love the total trust Lois is putting in Clark, especially considering her background. Once again, Lane and Kent make a great team.

I'm looking forward to seeing how you wrap this up!

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As I've said, I look for your next installment first thing and I haven't been disappointed. Suit or no, I see Superman on the horizon!

One thing I noticed--I think they jumped twice, but if they were on a one-story roof I'm not sure what was going on:

Quote
Clark pulled her by the hand and they jumped just as the men pulled themselves up. Lois could have kicked them in the face, but she was glad she didn’t have to.

He pulled her with him and they jumped over the other side of the building even as the sound of a shot rang out behind them.


Shallowford
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Oooooooh whoever did that is gonna pay!!!


CLARK: No. I'm just worried I'm a jinx.
JONATHAN: A jinx?
CLARK: Yeah. Let's face it, ever since she's known me, Lois's been kidnapped, frozen, pushed off buildings, almost stabbed, poisoned, buried alive and who knows what else, and it's all because of me.
-"Contact" (You're not her jinx, you're her blessing.)
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Clark took the camera and microphone but left Lois? I'm sure only seconds passed, but it sure felt like a long time to us readers and Lois. /bites fingernails/. Good detail about the mattress. I was hoping that they would go to Henderson, especially since that crooked detective said he was trustworthy and unable to be bought (or something like that).

I got worried when so many of the FBI agents got involved. Unlike Lois, I can believe that if Intergang bought its way into the MPD, it probably had elsewhere as well. They certainly have a leak somewhere. They didn't mention anything about finding Ellen only Sam. I hope he really is okay.

Lois is bleeding. Agents are probably dead. Intergang has a mole in the FBI. Clark has probably lost his glasses, too. All of these things makes Clark mad. Yes, I could see him rescuing Lois and the agents, then going after whoever launched the missile at them. If the SUV exploded, would Lois go into witness relocation and Clark merely pretend that he was dead, so that he could move on with his life? Then again, if he were dead, he wouldn't be able to access his savings. But he could re-invent himself as someone else, and move on... eventually becoming Superman.

Ooooh! Too many questions! How can to possibly answer them all in two parts?


VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Beat Reporter
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Well, the FBI doesn't seem foolproof, but it does seem like most of them are on the good side. Here's hoping everyone in the SUV will be okay.

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I'm glad Clark showed up when Lois needed him. I can't wait for the next part.


"Who's asking? Clark... or Superman?"
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Pulitzer
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Wait a second! Only TWO more parts and this fabulous story comes to an end? shock Say it isn't so! There are so many things going on here, there is NO way it'll be finished with two installments!

OK. OK. I will keep quiet and see what other surprises you have in store for us.

Clark's eyes are blazing red? Oh boy, Bill Church better watch out! wildguy



Morgana

A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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Pulitzer
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I like how you pointed out that things take an incredible amount of time. Welcome to bureaucracy, Lois and Clark. Unfortunately, what seems to be taking an inordinate amount of time to Lois is probably lightning speed in FBI-time.


Moderated by  Kaylle, SuperBek 

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