Lois & Clark Fanfic Message Boards
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#255010 06/03/14 12:29 AM
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 814
ShayneT Offline OP
Features Writer
OP Offline
Features Writer
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 814
Well, what do you think?

Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,020
F
Kerth
Offline
Kerth
F
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,020
Delightful, very well done. Either we need a sequel or part 25 has to take place a decade or so later. Either way will be fun.


Framework4
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,425
Likes: 1
L
Pulitzer
Offline
Pulitzer
L
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,425
Likes: 1
Another excellent part. The story could end right here; as far as I can see, all of the major plot points have either been satisfactorily resolved or at least the resolutions have been strongly hinted at. (Well, except for the whole Ralph and the DP story line.) I'm guessing that the last part will be an epilogue that takes place some time in the future. Well, whatever it is about, I'm looking forward to reading it.

Joy,
Lynn

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,578
Likes: 10
Pulitzer
Offline
Pulitzer
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,578
Likes: 10
It's amazing how you wrapped up so many questions in one chapter. clap Now we just need an epilogue (well, not exactly need, but we want it). blush

And so good to see them in a relationship earlier than canon. hyper It must save Lois from the "federal disasters". thumbsup

Hope they can keep the long distance relationship. It shouldn't be a problem since Clark has learned how to fly. [Linked Image]
Now Lois just needs to create Superman. [Linked Image]

Andreia


"My wife's love is what unites Krypton and Earth in my heart. Without it, without her, I truly would be in hell."

~ Superman: Man of Tomorrow #15
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Offline
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Wow, your title now has multiple meanings. Well done. clap

Quote
“They’ll just keep doing this,” Clark said. His eyes were still glowing. “Killing people, taking things, doing whatever they want.”
I'm going to have to agree with Clark here. They will continue to do that. It's what bad guys do, but without them it's more difficult for the good guys to stand out. wink

Quote
Lois squinted, trying to see whether the agents in the front seat were ok. Both of them hung limp, although one of them coughed. As far as she could see they were alive but hurt.
If they had died, it would be even more difficult to stop Clark at this point, I think.

Quote
The world blurred around her and Lois found herself leaning against the wall of an alley, the two agents beside her. She turned her head and she could see the door to the SUV still flying through the air. The back of the vehicle was on fire.
How did he do that without the guys in the car following them noticing? Hopefully, the smoke was too thick.

Quote
One of them, a tall man in a black shirt and jeans with a ski mask stopped. He pointed a gun in Clark’s direction and fired.
How did he know? Had Clark exposed himself when he stepped away from Lois? If he shot at Clark and Lois, weren't the FBI Agents they left behind in danger of being shot, too?

Quote
They didn’t come down. Instead they simply hung in the night sky motionless against the stars.

“Don’t worry,” Clark said. “I’ve got you.”

“Who’s got you?” Lois couldn’t help it that her voice sounded a little shrill and hysterical.
clap Nice use of this classic line. Great action scene, too.

Quote
The bicycle dropped from underneath her and a moment later they were dropping. He grabbed it with one hand.
Yeah. That would have been bad. It would have made the bad guys look up and possibly see them there floating in air.

Quote
The men in the vans were spilling out of the vans, which were wrecked. The Impala was totaled.
Did you mean to mention the vans twice in this sentence? May I suggest an alternative? "Men spilled out of the wrecked vans."

Quote
“This changes everything,” Clark said, seeming stunned.
Yep. Flying changes everything.

Quote
“Then you made what had to be a fifty foot leap in the dark without so much as a bruise.”

Clark shrugged. “We got lucky.”

Agent Pierce stared at them for a long moment then shrugged. “It works for me. We caught twenty of Bill Church’s thugs; at least one or two of them would have been happy to testify.”

“Would have been?” Lois asked. She couldn’t help having her voice rise in pitch. “What do you mean would have been? You can’t be dropping the case. There are two FBI agents in the hospital and my parents are in danger. Who’s…?”

Agent Pierce shook his head and frowned. “It’s a moot point now. When we went to the Church residence to arrest them, we found Bill Church and his two sons dead. They were killed execution style.”

Lois sat back in her chair slowly. “What?” she asked flatly.

“There have been rumors of a new player in town,” Agent Pierce said. “Someone in competition with Intergang. Apparently, when Bill Church pulled some of his bodyguards from the protection detail to come after you, they took advantage of the situation to take out the head of the competition.”
thud Wow, so much information in these few lines. A) This agent really doesn't want to the know the truth. I'm thinking Henderson might have at least made a mental note to follow up on the physics. B) hyper the bad men in vans have been captured. C) Someone offed the Churches in a vendetta shooting (maybe Lois and Clark shouldn't have messed with Luthor's work site -- just joking, I know that this doesn't have to do with that). D) I'm guessing the new big baddy in town in the man who's currently construction Lex Tower(s)? I'm guessing that the investigation into the Churches by the FBI and Lois and Clark outed the Churches as the head of Intergang to Luthor and made them easy pickings for the competition.

Quote
She was responsible indirectly for the deaths of all three men. Counting Joe Malloy, four. If she hadn’t been so determined to show her father she could do it on her own by writing her article and getting the Internship, all of those men would still be alive.
She's also responsible indirectly for saving a bunch of people from being harassed or dying from Intergang / the Church Family and probably saved even more people from buying tacky things at CostMart. /although, the latter group probably will never truly be saved./ peep

Quote
Agent Pierce shook his head. “We’re trying, but the new player is snapping up Intergang’s members faster than we can catch them.”

He hesitated, looking suddenly self-conscious. “None of this is for publication by the way.”
hyper Lois is taken as a real reporter. frown that she doesn't even realize it.

Quote
He didn’t approve of Clark at all; the homeless criminal who’d almost gotten his precious daughter killed. As far as he was concerned, Clark wasn’t worth the effort to step on.
A homeless teen on the run from overuse of force charge who had *saved* Lois from her own tenacity and being killed on multiple occasions.

Tomato, Tomahto.

Quote
She ran down the stairs and stopped. He was standing at the base of the stairs in a tuxedo, a large corsage in his hands. He’d never looked so handsome.
Yea! For Clark dipping into his savings to rent this tux for this special night. Or did someone from Brother Wayman's church have one he could borrow?

Quote
“I’ve been thinking,” Lois said slowly. “What if I DIDN’T go to Ireland in January?”
That's a plan! Then she wouldn't have meet Druid psycho.

Quote
Lois looked up at him. “We’ve just started this, and long distance relationships don’t work very well.”
They do with effort on both sides.

Quote
“Not seeing you for four months,” Lois said. She shook her head. She’d never understood how girls could be so stupid as to give up their dreams for a boy, but now that it was her turn it seemed to make perfect sense.

Clark was unique, and if she lost him she’d never find another person like him.
That's true. So why isn't she suggesting he drop out of school and follow her? Why should it be *her* dreams which are put out to pasture because of *them*?

Quote
“I can fly,’ Clark said. “I’ve already flown to Dublin three times; I got lost the first couple of times, but it’s a five minute flight now.”

He was silent a moment. “I wouldn’t ask you to give up anything for me. You’re the one who’s giving me the gift.”

“Shut up,” Lois said. She pulled him down and kissed him.
There's always that. Surprising that she forgot that being that they just "landed".

So, the gift is her acceptance? Her love? Her kisses? All of the above?

Quote
Homecoming this year wasn’t going to be the usual easy win, not with the team decimated as it was, but Lois didn’t care. She was with Clark and he was with her.
And, yet, it clearly crossed her mind. I can't even remember who won homecoming my junior or senior years. I doubt I even cared enough about such things to vote -- the same kids always won, so it was basically a popularity contest and I don't vote for those. Then, again, sports wasn't too big of a deal at my high school so Homecoming wasn't a special "let's get dressed up" dance, just a regular after the football game Friday dance (it seemed as if they had one after every home game). I had thought Lois and Clark were dressed up for Winter (Junior) Prom.

Quote
She’d struggled since her mother and father had separated, never feeling like she belonged in either of their houses. They loved her, but she already knew she was going to leave them as soon as she could. When she was with Clark, though, she felt different.

Being with him felt like she was coming home and she felt sure that he felt the same way about her.
Awwwww. I could see Lois feeling this way, both about her folks and about Clark. What a sweet ending.

Nice switch on canon having the Churches taken out first.

I wonder what you have planned for us in the next part. Do Lois and Clark hunt down the new crime organization in town? Do they uncover the nasty Irish Druid human sacrifice ritual? Do they start at the Daily Planet together?

I'll miss this story when it's done. I hope you're already working on your next one, Shayne. You've gotten a bunch of us addicted to your storytelling again.


VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,823
Pulitzer
Offline
Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,823
Excellent chapter in tying up loose ends! Let's see - the Churches are dead, so no need to testify against them and put yourselves in the public eye. The Intergang minions will be too cowed by the new guy to go after L&C, especially since the Churches were going after them for personal reasons. And I'm sure it won't be lost on the minions that Clark just seems to be a lucky guy - he escapes from what would normally be certain death, and bad things happen to his opponents. As Louie said in a previous chapter, Clark already has a reputation.

Yes, I think the new player in town is Lex Luthor - I'd like to see this version of L&C investigate him. But perhaps they need to be older (and Clark has to be not homeless) before they have the weight to grapple with Luthor.

I really liked that Lois kept Clark from going over to the dark side. This was probably the time in his life when he was most tempted.

I hope Lois does go to Ireland, and meets Clark there for visits, so that she never does go out with the Druid psycho. smile


Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 303
Beat Reporter
Offline
Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 303
loved loved the use of the line from the first movie "you've got me? who's got you???" awesome tribute

also loved how Lois prevents him from exposng himself or going violent.
Great story Shane...this was a real treat!!

Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 391
Beat Reporter
Offline
Beat Reporter
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 391
I'm late to the party due to my crazy day but let me chime in with praise for the way you wrapped this up so nicely. All in all, a wonderful story. I'm looking forward to the epilogue or whatever.

I particularly liked Clark's "this is new." laugh

Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 332
Likes: 1
Beat Reporter
Offline
Beat Reporter
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 332
Likes: 1
Great part. One of my favorites in this story. I'm looking forward to the final part. smile


"Who's asking? Clark... or Superman?"

Moderated by  Kaylle, SuperBek 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5