Galactically Stupid by Lois_Lane_Fan
Rated: G
Summary: Lois and Cat have a conversation about superheroes.

Disclaimer: The characters featured in this story belong to DC Comics and Warner Brothers Studio.

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Lois scowled as she noticed Cat Grant strut into the newsroom. As usual, she was dressed totally inappropriately for the workplace. True, Lois had been known to dress a bit trashy at times if she needed to go undercover for a story, but this was unnecessary and just plain ridiculous. Lois eyed the woman for a moment and observed the cheap outfit she'd worn today. She was barefoot, carrying a pair of high heels in her hands, and she had on a black microskirt, a red blouse that revealed far too much cleavage, and from what Lois could tell, a pushup bra. She also appeared to be a bit tipsy as she stumbled past Lois' desk and fell into the empty chair at Clark's desk.

"Morning, Lois," Cat said, giggling as she said it.

Lois rolled her eyes. "For goodness sakes, Cat, have you been drinking? I've never known you to come into work drunk before."

Cat smiled. "It's all in the line of duty. Perry assigned me to that charity thingy Bruce Wayne was hosting last night to get some dirt on the rich and famous for my column. I may have had one too many drinks in order to keep up with Bruce, but my mission was accomplished. Mr. Wayne asked me to stay long after the party ended – if you know what I mean - and boy did I get a scoop."

Lois' annoyance turned to interest. "Scoop? What scoop?"

"Bruce Wayne is Batman!" Cat shouted a bit too loudly, causing a few heads to turn.

Lois smirked. “I believe that Bruce Wayne probably did drive you batty last night Cat, but that certainly doesn’t make him Batman.”

“It’s true,” Cat insisted.

"It’s ridiculous, Cat," Lois replied.

Cat leaned in closer to Lois. "Think about it. Batman tends to stay close to Gotham. Bruce Wayne lives in Gotham. Batman also has a bunch of high tech gadgets. Who else besides a very wealthy man could afford to make all of those gadgets? Bruce Wayne is the richest man in Gotham. Therefore, he’s the most likely suspect to be Batman."

"Well, you do make a slightly strong case," Lois said, thinking it over. "I just can't see that playboy Bruce Wayne as being Batman, though." Lois shook her head. "No, I just don't see it. Batman is all about serving and protecting his city. Bruce Wayne is all about staying up all night and partying with beautiful movie stars... and apparently the occasional gossip columnist."

"But I saw his Batcave," Cat insisted. "He thought I was asleep when he got up to go become Batman, but I wasn't. I followed him down there and saw everything. I saw him put on his costume, I saw him get in his Batmobile, and I saw him take off to go fight the Joker or something. I've got pictures to prove it!"

Cat handed Lois an envelope filled with pictures. As Lois looked through them, a smile formed on her face. They were all far too black to make anything out.

"This doesn't prove anything," Lois said as she handed them back to Cat.

Cat looked a bit disappointed. "Oh," she said sadly, flipping through the pictures herself and noticing what Lois was talking about. Suddenly, she perked back up. "I had another thought, too, though. Oliver Queen was there last night, and I noticed that he seemed to be pretty close with Wayne."

"That's because they're drinking buddies, Cat," Lois replied.

"I think it's more than that. I think Queen is another superhero," said Cat.

Lois laughed out loud. "You've got to be kidding me. What, do you think they have some sort of secret club or something?"

Cat frowned. "But, Mr. Queen has a thing for wearing green a lot, and he's known for having archery as a hobby. I think he might be Green Arrow or something."

Lois couldn't help herself. She began laughing uncontrollably at her colleague’s stupid suggestion. "Please, Cat, you’re killing me. You know, Clark was invited to Wayne's little shindig, too. Could it be that he's a superhero, too?"

"Well," Cat replied, thinking a moment. "Take away his glasses, and I have always thought he looked a lot like Superman. Plus, Clark and Superman both arrived in Metropolis around the same time. Oh, and Clark and Superman are never seen in the same place at the same time. And they both do seem to have a thing for you, though I can’t say I understand it when there’s a great catch like me hanging around here all the time."

Lois started laughing some more. "Cat, there's a phrase for people like you. Galactically stupid."

Cat frowned. "I guess I am letting my imagination run away with me."

Lois got up and patted her on the back. "Believe me, you are. If Clark was Superman, don't you think I'd be the first to know, given that I'm the one who’s around both of them all the time?"

"You're right, Lois," Cat answered. "But I still say Bruce Wayne is Batman."

Lois couldn't help but roll her eyes and laugh at her coworker’s foolish statement.

THE END