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#255510 06/19/14 03:58 PM
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Wrong Place, Wrong Time, Wrong Clark TOC can be found Here

Things are starting to move along now, huh? smile

Comments appreciated.


VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Quote
His bride-to-be was gorgeous and half his age
Well…if that’s his criteria, he could probably get a ton of college coeds, and possibly more than one at a time.

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and would shortly be somewhat willing in his bed.
Yeah…about that.

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Too willing was boring.
CLARK: I’m not so sure about that.
LOIS: I tried with a not-so-willing lover. That’s just not the same.

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Nevertheless, too willing was still doable,
Pun intended.

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as Lois’s double proved,
Fascinating. A double. Huh.

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Perhaps he would luck out and Lois would be even slightly unwilling to join their wedding bed.

Lex smirked to himself. That would be nice.
I think it’s quite possible that this groom is not entirely stable.
http://www.starwarsuncut.com/scene/2193

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Not that Lois had a choice in the matter. Once they were married, she would never have free will again. He would make sure of that.
I think he should see a psychiatrist and take some medication.

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Doing everything within her power to please him, so that he could pat her head and tell her what a good wife she was.
He does realize that sometimes pet cats bite their owners, right?

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Maybe Lex could just keep Superman around like a zoo animal in a cage until he became tired of tormenting him, just as he had already become bored with his L.U.C. experiment.
Spoiled brat.

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He skipped down the stairs
Wouldn’t it be funny, if he tripped, managed to hold onto the ax on the side of the wall, have it come loose, continue to tumble down the stairs and then end up with the blade stuck in his stomach? And then Clark would have to watch and not be able to save him.
CLARK: I’d manage.

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the woman he had Heller make over in Lois’s image,
No way!

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“Isn’t that Lois’s apartment? Isn’t that my fiancée, lamenting my absence? How is it a lie?”
Fake apartment. Fake fiancée. True apparently about the lament. Unless he’s been less than gentlemanly with her the previous night…Anyhow, it’s a lie. And he’s also lying about it not being a lie.

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She had awoken after surgery in Lois’s apartment in the L.U.C. and was told it would be her new home while she recovered. She would never know that she wasn’t ever going to see the light of day again.
That doesn’t sound…legal.

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It was for the best, though, that she had not remembered, since she had been targeted for her similarity to Lois’s build and coloring and attacked with a sledgehammer by…some man Nigel had hired.
Now, that’s just…I don’t think this Mr. Luthor is a very nice person.

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The nurse had told her when she awoke that not only had Lex paid for her medical care, but that he had felt so guilty that he had visited her every few days to try to make some amends for ruining her life.
Also, she could likely sue.

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Unfortunately, though, the double hadn’t been eager enough for film during their trial run a few days previously. Hesitant enough to be confused as Lois, yes, but not participating enough to really drive the knife into Superman’s gut.
Yuck!

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In addition, Lex discovered that the marks and scars on the double’s chest and belly from her ‘accident’ were too distinguishing to let the hero see her completely undressed. Pity.
shock And he’s not dissatisfied with her scars? Plus, her face got made up but they couldn’t deal with those scars?

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That and this woman’s willingness to please him had surprised even Lex, taking him there in the living room directly in front of Superman’s camera, with little or no effort on Lex’s part to please her. He had merely needed to show up.
So…it’s Alfredo’s all over again?

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It was how Lois should’ve greeted him when he visited her. It was how Lois would now greet him after they were married. He would make sure of it.
Yeah. Or give him a lapdance where she has a kitchen knife hidden in her garter belt.

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He had been planning to give her to the Lex-C as a gift, to do with as he pleased, being that the infernal clone – according to Asabi – had become obsessed with his fiancée.
That’s what they call recycling, isn’t it?

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Lex-C had the audacity to suggest to Lex that he rather than Lex himself should be the one to consummate his marriage to Lois,
rotflol

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She said that she had wanted the reminder of how he had tried to rescue her from Menken.
So she’d never forget, huh?

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Anyway, it had been her fault for stepping into his line of fire.
Yeah.
SUPERMAN: Oops? It’s not my fault that Lex stepped underneath the falling boulder…

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He already had it planned out. Cat Grant would be the prime suspect in Kent’s death for abandoning her to raise their child on their own.
He does realize that she’s married, doesn’t he?

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“Oh. Oh. Oh, Lex!” the double moaned in delight. “Yes!”

Lex smirked as Superman pulled himself into a tight ball, trying to cover his ears. Therefore, Lex increased the volume until the bottles in his cellar started rattling against one another.
Maybe they should not give Lex the Nicest Man of the Year award next year.

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Lex danced out of the room singing ‘Tonight’ from West Side Story.

***

Half an hour earlier…
Oooooh! You did a funny flipperoo! Wonder what Cat’s going to say to the scene evil Am not 100% sure though that it might not be better if we get Cat first. I completely forgot about the half-hour-earlier bit when reading the second half of this story blush

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Yet, his absence seem to be a red flag warning for only Cat.
‘only for’?

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Then, again, she was the only one who knew Clark well enough to know where to start looking.
So…anyplace but Lois’s bedchamber?

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That was okay, because she worked better alone anyway.
Awww…she’s so much like Lois clap

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Thankfully, the car alarm on this car that cost more than her, Lois, Clark, and Perry’s combined salaries at the Daily Planet didn’t activate at her touch.
If it’s vintage, maybe it doesn’t have one. You usually don’t leave those cars out and about where every common criminal can plant a bomb under it.

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The door to Lex’s wine cellar was closest. Luckily, from her visit several months earlier, Cat knew that Lex left it unlocked.
Fortunate, isn’t it? Also, shouldn’t Lex make sure nobody comes down there?

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Why would someone be playing music in the wine cellar unless some event was happening there?
Well…Lex is having a bachelor party down there. Music. Alcohol. Sex videos.

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“You need to get out of here,” he said, his voice sounding weak. “The radiation from the Kryptonite… it can’t be good for the baby.”
Awww, Lex was right. Clark *is* the father!

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“Hide!” he gasped. “Someone’s coming.”
evil

May I have some more, please? [Linked Image]

wave Michael


Join us on the #loisclark Discord server! We talk about fanfic, our favorite show, life, and more! (It’s almost like the IRC days of old again!)

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Darth Michael Sorry about not responding sooner. Unreliable internet connection + Family dragging me off to have RL fun = No writing/computer time.

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Well…if that’s his criteria, he could probably get a ton of college coeds, and possibly more than one at a time.
LEX: Yes, but Superman isn't obsessed with any of them. Only this one.

LOIS: I think I've just been insulted.

LEX: I DID propose, didn't I? Women!

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Yeah…about that.
So, Lois isn't going to change her mind about this to save her mom? evil

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CLARK: I’m not so sure about that.
Don't you mean:
CLARK: thumbsup I've heard that's nice.
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LOIS: I tried with a not-so-willing lover. That’s just not the same.
Claude was willing, just not interested.

LOIS: Again, insulted here.

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Pun intended.
Of course.

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Fascinating. A double. Huh.
So you were really hopping for frogbait, huh?

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I think it’s quite possible that this groom is not entirely stable.
CLARK: 'Not entirely stable?' Sometimes, I just don't understand human beings.

wink

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I think he should see a psychiatrist and take some medication.
His psychiatrist would tell him the best thing to do would be not to go forward with the wedding because it would make him into a bigamist.

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He does realize that sometimes pet cats bite their owners, right?
LEX: /rubs hands with glee/ Lovely. clap

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Spoiled brat.
LEX: [Linked Image]

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Wouldn’t it be funny, if he tripped, managed to hold onto the ax on the side of the wall, have it come loose, continue to tumble down the stairs and then end up with the blade stuck in his stomach? And then Clark would have to watch and not be able to save him.
CLARK: I’d manage.
Then, poor Cat would have to go through his bloody pockets to find the key.

CAT: I'd manage.

Originally Posted by Michael
Originally Posted by Part 177
the woman he had Heller make over in Lois’s image,
No way!
So, too obvious again, huh? I've got to stop dropping hints.

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Fake apartment. Fake fiancée. True apparently about the lament. Unless he’s been less than gentlemanly with her the previous night…Anyhow, it’s a lie. And he’s also lying about it not being a lie.
LEX: He doesn't know that.

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That doesn’t sound…legal.
NIGEL: Perhaps you should turn yourself in, sir.
NIGEL & LEX: lol

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Now, that’s just…I don’t think this Mr. Luthor is a very nice person.
Really? Just figuring that out, huh?

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Also, she could likely sue.
BENDER: Dead people can't sue.

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And he’s not dissatisfied with her scars? Plus, her face got made up but they couldn’t deal with those scars?
LEX: Why pay extra?

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So…it’s Alfredo’s all over again?
huh

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Yeah. Or give him a lapdance where she has a kitchen knife hidden in her garter belt.
LOIS: He wouldn't survive that long.

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That’s what they call recycling, isn’t it?
LEX: And they say I'm not pro-environment.

Originally Posted by Michael
Originally Posted by Part 177
Lex-C had the audacity to suggest to Lex that he rather than Lex himself should be the one to consummate his marriage to Lois,
rotflol
LEX: My reaction completely.

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So she’d never forget, huh?
LOIS: Of course not. That's when Clark & I got close.

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SUPERMAN: Oops? It’s not my fault that Lex stepped underneath the falling boulder…
Except if he dropped the boulder on Lex.

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He does realize that she’s married, doesn’t he?
They didn't announce it here. Only in Houston. wink

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Maybe they should not give Lex the Nicest Man of the Year award next year.
LEX: Of course not. I'm *better* than nice. devil

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Oooooh! You did a funny flipperoo! Wonder what Cat’s going to say to the scene evil Am not 100% sure though that it might not be better if we get Cat first. I completely forgot about the half-hour-earlier bit when reading the second half of this story
It was discussed with betas on the pros and cons of moving this scene forward and we thought it would be better to have the Reader(s) thinks Clark's far from being freed (or close to canon) and then find out his savior was already there.

CAT: Savior? That's a new one. Hmmmm. Savior? Yes, I think I could get used to that title.

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‘only for’?
Thanks. Fixed.

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So…anyplace but Lois’s bedchamber?
CAT: [Linked Image] That's why Lois wasn't answering her door!

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Awww…she’s so much like Lois
Yeah, a little bit.

CAT: Except the hero is in love with *her*.

LOIS: You've got Phil.

CAT: Right. [Linked Image] He's my Ultra Man.

PHIL: Oh, Cat. blush

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If it’s vintage, maybe it doesn’t have one. You usually don’t leave those cars out and about where every common criminal can plant a bomb under it.
Good point. Lex doesn't drive these cars out of the garage often anyway.

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Fortunate, isn’t it? Also, shouldn’t Lex make sure nobody comes down there?
So, you thought that whole scene earlier about Cat breaking into Lex's private garage was about Lex-C? lol No, it was set-up for this scene. Also, that's what the security guard Cat saw was for.

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Well…Lex is having a bachelor party down there. Music. Alcohol. Sex videos.
At 9am?
LEX: It went long.

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Awww, Lex was right. Clark *is* the father!
No, but you know Clark. Always trying to save somebody other than himself.

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May I have some more, please? [Linked Image]
I'm glad you enjoyed my bait and switch. Will try to post Part 178 as soon as I finish writing Part 182. I'm running a bit behind this week. [Linked Image] peep


VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,065
Likes: 31
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Quote
Unreliable internet connection + Family dragging me off to have RL fun = No writing/computer time.
[Linked Image]

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LEX: Yes, but Superman isn't obsessed with any of them. Only this one.

LOIS: I think I've just been insulted.

LEX: I DID propose, didn't I? Women!
laugh Maybe Superman should have fixated on an elderly gent, huh?

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Quote:
Yeah…about that.
So, Lois isn't going to change her mind about this to save her mom?
[Linked Image]

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Quote:
CLARK: I’m not so sure about that.
Don't you mean:
CLARK: thumbsup I've heard that's nice.
laugh

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Quote:
LOIS: I tried with a not-so-willing lover. That’s just not the same.
Claude was willing, just not interested.

LOIS: Again, insulted here.
clap And I was thinking about all the times Lois did not manage to make Clark willing.

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Quote:
Fascinating. A double. Huh.
So you were really hopping for frogbait, huh?
laugh You already discounted that one and writers never lie. So, no that was just flat sarcasm at the obvious reveal laugh

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Quote:
I think it’s quite possible that this groom is not entirely stable.
CLARK: 'Not entirely stable?' Sometimes, I just don't understand human beings.
Good one!

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Quote:
I think he should see a psychiatrist and take some medication.
His psychiatrist would tell him the best thing to do would be not to go forward with the wedding because it would make him into a bigamist.
Well…that would solve Clark’s problem, wouldn’t it?

Quote
Quote:
He does realize that sometimes pet cats bite their owners, right?
LEX: /rubs hands with glee/ Lovely.
He got no idea where the bite might happen, huh?

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CLARK: I’d manage.
Then, poor Cat would have to go through his bloody pockets to find the key.

CAT: I'd manage.
laugh

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Originally Posted By: Michael
Originally Posted By: Part 177
the woman he had Heller make over in Lois’s image,
No way!
So, too obvious again, huh? I've got to stop dropping hints.
[Linked Image] Certain bits are just billboards by now.

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Anyhow, it’s a lie. And he’s also lying about it not being a lie.
LEX: He doesn't know that.
So…lying is only bad if you’re found out?
LOIS: [Linked Image] Same goes for investigating other peoples properties.

Quote
Quote:
Now, that’s just…I don’t think this Mr. Luthor is a very nice person.
Really? Just figuring that out, huh?
huh I’m not that good at picking up on obvious clues…

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Quote:
And he’s not dissatisfied with her scars? Plus, her face got made up but they couldn’t deal with those scars?
LEX: Why pay extra?
To have an unmarred doll? Plus, why waste her torso in the first place?

Quote
Quote:
So…it’s Alfredo’s all over again?
[EW does not remember the spaghetti incident]
The restaurant where Lois’s gave her first lapdance?
CLAUDE: No, that was at Le Bistreau Chaque.
ER: Umm…that wasn’t ‘Alfredo’s’?

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Quote:
Yeah. Or give him a lapdance where she has a kitchen knife hidden in her garter belt.
LOIS: He wouldn't survive that long.
You mean, until she lost enough clothes so can reach into her garter belt?

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Quote:
That’s what they call recycling, isn’t it?
LEX: And they say I'm not pro-environment.
I wonder what the carbon footprint of a clone is compared to regular reproduction.
LEX: My fiancée is not pro-environment.

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Quote:
So she’d never forget, huh?
LOIS: Of course not. That's when Clark & I got close.
Most people just try to recreate the experience each year.

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Quote:
SUPERMAN: Oops? It’s not my fault that Lex stepped underneath the falling boulder…
EW: Except if he dropped the boulder on Lex.
SUPERMAN: Details…
LOIS: Yep. Details…
LEX: See…Details.

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CAT: Savior? That's a new one. Hmmmm. Savior? Yes, I think I could get used to that title.
[Linked Image]
http://disney.wikia.com/wiki/Emma_Swan

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So, you thought that whole scene earlier about Cat breaking into Lex's private garage was about Lex-C? lol No, it was set-up for this scene. Also, that's what the security guard Cat saw was for.
laugh So…how does Lex prevent the security guard from learning what his boss is up to?

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No, but you know Clark. Always trying to save somebody other than himself.
LOIS: wallbash

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Will try to post Part 178 as soon as I finish writing Part 182. I'm running a bit behind this week
frown [Linked Image] Looking forward to your writing vacation, huh?

wave Michael


Join us on the #loisclark Discord server! We talk about fanfic, our favorite show, life, and more! (It’s almost like the IRC days of old again!)

I go by Michael on the Archives.
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
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Originally Posted by Darth Michael
LEX: Yes, but Superman isn't obsessed with any of them. Only this one.

LOIS: I think I've just been insulted.

LEX: I DID propose, didn't I? Women!

ER: Maybe Superman should have fixated on an elderly gent, huh?
SUPERMAN: I'm thinking of giving up sex entirely since you've put that image in my head.
LOIS: [Linked Image] What DID you DO??

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And I was thinking about all the times Lois did not manage to make Clark willing.
CLARK: In my defense, my body was always willing, just my morals...
LOIS: [Linked Image]

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You already discounted that one and writers never lie. So, no that was just flat sarcasm at the obvious reveal.
No? [Linked Image] I mean. Of course not. [Linked Image]

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Well…that would solve Clark’s problem, wouldn’t it?
CLARK: Helllooooo? Still in this cage.

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ER: He does realize that sometimes pet cats bite their owners, right?
LEX: /rubs hands with glee/ Lovely.
ER: He got no idea where the bite might happen, huh?
LOIS: [Linked Image] I'm not touching that with my mouth.

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ER: No way!
EW: So, too obvious again, huh? I've got to stop dropping hints.
ER: Certain bits are just billboards by now.
But it's been weeks of posting... Fine. Cut this line here. And that one there. No more hints! You do realize in the outline of this story, you guys wouldn't have had Lois's POV for this whole investigation, right? Imagine how short this story would have been without out?

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Anyhow, it’s a lie. And he’s also lying about it not being a lie.
LEX: He doesn't know that.
ER: So…lying is only bad if you’re found out?
LOIS: Same goes for investigating other peoples properties.
clap

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ER: Now, that’s just…I don’t think this Mr. Luthor is a very nice person.
EW: Really? Just figuring that out, huh?
ER: I’m not that good at picking up on obvious clues…
But... but... but... Fine! /shoulders slum as I go back and add in all those hints again... well, maybe not ALL of them./ [Linked Image]

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ER: And he’s not dissatisfied with her scars? Plus, her face got made up but they couldn’t deal with those scars?
LEX: Why pay extra?
ER: To have an unmarred doll? Plus, why waste her torso in the first place?
NIGEL: /shrugging/ He had the lowest bid. Sorry, boss.

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ER: So…it’s Alfredo’s all over again?
[EW does not remember the spaghetti incident]
ER: The restaurant where Lois’s gave her first lapdance?
CLAUDE: No, that was at Le Bistreau Chaque.
ER: Umm…that wasn’t ‘Alfredo’s’?
Aunti Pasto's, and Lois gave Clark a lapdance at HIS apartment after HE cooked pasta with RED sauce *months* earlier.
CLARK: [Linked Image] I'm THAT good.

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ER: Yeah. Or give him a lapdance where she has a kitchen knife hidden in her garter belt.
LOIS: He wouldn't survive that long.
ER: You mean, until she lost enough clothes so can reach into her garter belt?
LOIS: I would never sit on Lex's lap.

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ER: That’s what they call recycling, isn’t it?
LEX: And they say I'm not pro-environment.
ER: I wonder what the carbon footprint of a clone is compared to regular reproduction.
LEX: My fiancée is not pro-environment.
LOIS: [Linked Image]

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ER: So she’d never forget, huh?
LOIS: Of course not. That's when Clark & I got close.
ER: Most people just try to recreate the experience each year.
CLARK: We got close during the lapdance, not because she got shot, right, minha?

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CAT: Savior? That's a new one. Hmmmm. Savior? Yes, I think I could get used to that title.
ER: /So did Emma_Swan/
(I haven't finished S1, yet. peep Too busy writing.)

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So…how does Lex prevent the security guard from learning what his boss is up to?
Death squads.
NIGEL: Ready! Aim! Fire!
GUARDS: I don't see anything. How about you, Joe?
JOE: Nope.

Quote
Looking forward to your writing vacation, huh?
I keep asking for one, but nobody thinks I'm serious. They keep giving me the kind of vacation where I have no time to write, instead. grumble


VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,065
Likes: 31
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Quote
ER: Maybe Superman should have fixated on an elderly gent, huh?
SUPERMAN: I'm thinking of giving up sex entirely since you've put that image in my head.
LOIS: <Is displeased with the ER> What DID you DO??
So…ooops?

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Quote:
And I was thinking about all the times Lois did not manage to make Clark willing.
CLARK: In my defense, my body was always willing, just my morals...
LOIS: <doesn’t buy that one>
laugh

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Quote:
You already discounted that one and writers never lie. So, no that was just flat sarcasm at the obvious reveal.
EW: No? <insinuates an adorable naiveté in the ER’s approach to the story> I mean. Of course not. <is insanely happy that the ER finally understands that there’s no underhanded dealings going on there>
laugh

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Quote:
Well…that would solve Clark’s problem, wouldn’t it?
CLARK: Helllooooo? Still in this cage.
/points at the cat in the corner/

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LOIS: <would prefer a Cat to do the honors> I'm not touching that with my mouth.
CAT: Married.
CATWOMAN: I could use my whip…

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But it's been weeks of posting... Fine. Cut this line here. And that one there. No more hints! You do realize in the outline of this story, you guys wouldn't have had Lois's POV for this whole investigation, right? Imagine how short this story would have been without out?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flyer_%28pamphlet%29

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ER: I’m not that good at picking up on obvious clues…
But... but... but... Fine! /shoulders slum as I go back and add in all those hints again... well, maybe not ALL of them./
rotflol

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ER: To have an unmarred doll? Plus, why waste her torso in the first place?
NIGEL: /shrugging/ He had the lowest bid. Sorry, boss.
So…Nigel has a budget and gets to keep everything above cost for which he can produce a receipt that says it cost more than cost?

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Aunti Pasto's, and Lois gave Clark a lapdance at HIS apartment after HE cooked pasta with RED sauce *months* earlier.
CLARK: <is happy that he’s caused some permanent memories> I'm THAT good.
laugh

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LOIS: I would never sit on Lex's lap.
She’s only saying that because she got tied to Clark instead of Lex during Fly Hard.

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CLARK: We got close during the lapdance, not because she got shot, right, minha?
LOIS: Umm…

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(I haven't finished S1, yet. <is terribly behind on stuff> Too busy writing.)
Oh dear!

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I keep asking for one, but nobody thinks I'm serious. They keep giving me the kind of vacation where I have no time to write, instead.
[Linked Image]

wave Michael


Join us on the #loisclark Discord server! We talk about fanfic, our favorite show, life, and more! (It’s almost like the IRC days of old again!)

I go by Michael on the Archives.
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
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Originally Posted by Darth Michael
ER: Well…that would solve Clark’s problem, wouldn’t it?
CLARK: Helllooooo? Still in this cage.
ER: /points at the cat in the corner/
Details. Details.

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LOIS: <would prefer a Cat to do the honors> I'm not touching that with my mouth.
CAT: Married.
CATWOMAN: I could use my whip…
BATMAN: Don't touch me with that whip! I know where it's been.

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flyer_%28pamphlet%29
Well, maybe a little longer than that.

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So…Nigel has a budget and gets to keep everything above cost for which he can produce a receipt that says it cost more than cost?
You doubted this?

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LOIS: I would never sit on Lex's lap.
ER: She’s only saying that because she got tied to Clark instead of Lex during Fly Hard.
CLARK: I spoke on their behalf at the trial.


VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,065
Likes: 31
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Quote
CATWOMAN: I could use my whip…
BATMAN: Don't touch me with that whip! I know where it's been.
laugh

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Quote:
So…Nigel has a budget and gets to keep everything above cost for which he can produce a receipt that says it cost more than cost?
You doubted this?
No?

Quote
Quote:
LOIS: I would never sit on Lex's lap.
ER: She’s only saying that because she got tied to Clark instead of Lex during Fly Hard.
CLARK: I spoke on their behalf at the trial.
rotflol
CLARK: I believe the nice Mr. Chakotay over there is just a misguided matchmaker and Amor in disguise.

wave Michael


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I go by Michael on the Archives.

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