Pheromone, My Lovely - Matchmaker Style
Rated PG-13
As always comments are welcome. (ken.janney@kjanney.com)
* * denotes emphasis
< > denotes thoughts
As always comments are welcome. (ken.janney@kjanney.com)
Pheromone, My Lovely - Matchmaker Style 02/12
Previously
Lois was chagrined that she would have to do more on this story. It was soooo beneath her as an investigative journalist. She was hoping that now with Clark back on full time she wouldn't be saddled with any more stories like this. How to display her displeasure without directly incurring the editor's wrath was the question. Coming to a decision, she looked at Perry and said, "Happy to, Chief. It's such ..." she gave a exaggerated yawn before finishing, "exhilarating subject matter."
Jimmy asked, "Here's what I don't understand. If this Malathion spray is so safe, how come they tell you to keep your pets inside when they're using it?"
Perry answered in an offhand manner, "Precautionary measure …" His answer was interrupted by the door of the conference room opening and Rehalia, the fifty-ish Ecuadorian janitress entering to empty the trash bins. She hesitated for a moment, but Perry waved her inside. Perry interrupted what he was saying to address her, "That's okay, Rehalia, come on in." Turning back to the staff he continued, "I suppose we should lead with the latest counter-revolution in Russia."
Clark quipped, "I believe it's a counter, counter-revolution, Chief."
Shaking his head, Perry said, "Who can keep track ... " His statement was interrupted by a disturbance in the newsroom. They all turned to see that the elevator doors were open and a lot of strangers were descending on the bullpen. Cameras, lighting equipment, and a model's runway were being hauled in followed by troops of technicians, denim-clad photographers and their assistants. In an irritated tone, he continued, "What the Sam Hill's going on?"
Jumping to her feet, Cat came to the rescue, eyes wide seeing celebrity models come in, she said, "Chief, you remember. Today's the day they're using the newsroom as a backdrop to introduce that new fragrance ... 'Exclusive.' Marketing set it up."
Bewildered, Perry muttered, "Marketing … no, I don't remember."
Cat was growing more excited as time went on. In an offhand manner she answered, "It's been on for months. There was an email reminder just last week …" She was looking from face to face as more and more people stepped out of the elevator. Her excitement was peaking as she said, "Look, there's Elle Taylor, and ... Rachel Roberts," Her excitement was building with everyone she recognized, "and
April Stephens! I
have to get an interview!" Cat looked at Perry, imploringly.
Bowing to the inevitable, Perry nodded his permission. This was Cat's bailiwick after all. Cat immediately gathered up her materials and headed out of the conference room.
Lois, never one for such activities, grumbled, "How're we supposed to get any work done around here?"
Now that Cat had drawn his attention to the arrivals, Jimmy was staring at the girls as they exited the elevator and replied to Lois' sally, "Who cares? Chief, look at
her!" The apparent object of his statement was April Stephens.
Jimmy was pointing at her, but Perry turned away. He said, "I can't look, Jimmy. Alice would have my hide."
Jimmy asked, "How would she find out?"
Shaking his head, Perry said, "The woman has spies, everywhere."
Picking out April Stephens, one of the most attractive of the models, Jimmy stroked his hair back as if preparing for a date and asked, "Do you think there's any small possibility that a girl like that would go out with a man like me?"
He looked around and seeing the looks of disbelief on the faces around him, muttered, "Thought so."
And Now:
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 2
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Earlier that morning:
Two fencers, in masks and full fencing gear, were dueling the length of an elegantly decorated room. One fencer in an attempt to avoid the un-blunted point of the epee of his adversary gave ground. He ducked a sweeping cut that sent bits of flowers flying everywhere as the blade sheared off the tops of the flowers in a vase he was standing next to as the blade passed mere inches over his head. Standing and jumping to the side he knocked the vase off of its pedestal. It fell to the floor with a crash along with the pedestal and he tripped over it. Scrambling to his feet he barely parried another thrust and stumbled back into a chair. Rolling over the chair, he placed it in the way of his attacker. The attacker shoved the chair aside, but in doing so stopped being on the offensive. The other fencer seeing this opening took the offensive and with a series of slashes and thrusts forced his opponent back. With a deft move the defender gained a second's respite and seizing the opportunity turned and fled. Remembering Alexander the Great's motto, ‘seize the high ground', he jumped up on the desk. His opponent approached aggressively, however, fighting someone so much higher is a problem so in an attempt to force his opponent down he took a sweeping cut at his legs. The fencer on the desk easily leapt over the sweeping blade. The force of the move caused the one on the floor to turn slightly and lose position. Seeing this opening the one on the desk jumped down and thrust avoiding his opponents guard and thrusting his blade into his opponents side
The two adversaries stood, transfixed for a seconds as the realization of what had happened sunk in to the now wounded man.
With a sweeping gesture, Lex Luthor pulled his blade from the body of his erstwhile opponent as he removed his mask. Once the blade was removed, blood began to seep out marring the pristine white of the dueling togs
The victor, Lex Luthor, bowed to his fencing partner, who removed his mask, returned the bow, then exited the room, to seek medical attention, holding his side.
Luthor released a satisfied sigh as he picked up a cloth and wiped the blood off the tip of his sword. As he was thus occupied, Nigel entered.
Giving a slight bow, Nigel announced, "A Ms. Miranda to see you, sir."
Luthor's displeasure at this news was evident in his expression. He glanced at the clock hoping that he would be able to use an upcoming appointment as an excuse to avoid the inevitable. Reluctantly he said, "All right, Nigel, show her in. Two minutes only."
With another bow, Nigel replied, "Very good, sir."
Turning his back to the door, Luthor was occupied looking at his calendar as Miranda swayed in. Miranda a beautiful blonde dressed in a style reminiscent of the Woodstock generation entered. Her hair was worn loosely. Her blouse was white with long sleeves, unbuttoned in a deep ‘V' almost to her navel and with a ruffled collar. She wore a vest of gold brocade over and a long dark skirt. She wore a black velvet choker with a very ornate cross pendant.
She was barely in the room when she launched her opening salvo, "You cut me off, you rotten son of a …"
Luthor interrupted her as he turned to face her, "Temper, temper, Miranda. There's no reason to resort to name calling."
As she sauntered over closer to Lex, she continued, "You cancelled my funding! How am I supposed to continue my research?"
"Miranda, let's face facts. Two years ago you walked into this office and offered me a working, practical application of your theory within six months. You claimed that by adding an animal pheromone to your perfume it would cause the person wearing it to lose all their inhibitions and ..."
In an almost pleading tone, Miranda replied, "But I've done it! I can prove it to you!"
Luthor spat out, "Hah!" He turned away and delved into his humidor.
With a chagrined look, Miranda pressed on, "True, the solid compound wasn't working but I reduced it to a liquid and ..."
As she had been speaking he had been preparing a cigar. "Sorry, Miranda. In the final analysis, I … do not … fund … losers."
Changing her approach, Miranda closed the distance between them and using sensual movements ran her hands over his chest and in a sultry tone asked, "What about … us?"
Luthor took a long pull on his cigar and after blowing out the smoke replied in an insulting tone, "Us? You were an itch. You've been scratched." Bringing his cigar back up he puffed on it again.
Miranda, was in shock at his attitude, feeling used, she dropped her hands from him and stepped back. Hurt by his attitude and words she said, "You can't treat me like this. It was a labor of love, for you ... all for you!"
Nigel entered, paying no attention to Miranda's ranting. "Excuse me, sir. You wanted me to remind you to call Lois Lane to confirm your dinner for Friday night."
"Yes, Nigel. I'll make that call. I believe Miranda's time is up. Will you kindly show her out?"
Luthor turned his back to her, picked up the phone and dialed.
Nigel move to hustle Miranda out, but as Miranda passed by she looked down at a table and picked up a copy of the Daily Planet that rested there. The byline on the headline read: by Lois Lane. She nodded her head in acknowledgement of the name and stopped. As Luthor was dialing, she turned to observe. <So, that is who he's after now. Well, I saw him first. We'll have to see about this.>
Luthor's call went through and he got Lois' answering machine, "This is Lois Lane, please leave a message after the beep."
Luthor spoke to the machine, "Lois, I was hoping to speak with you to confirm our dinner on Friday night. It has been a couple of weeks since we have spoken. I was wondering how you have been. I have been following your stories in the Planet and wondering why you haven't returned my calls. I'm looking forward to seeing you. Please call and confirm."
As Luthor started to speak into the phone, Nigel took Miranda's elbow in a tight grip and led her out of the office; however, she maintained her grip on the Daily Planet as she left.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
After Nigel escorted Miranda from Luthor's office he took her down in an express elevator to the ground floor. Miranda was still in something of a daze as a result of Luthor's attitude and her abrupt dismissal. Apparently Nigel had called down and when the elevator's doors opened, Nigel turned her over to a doorman who escorted her directly to the curb and hailed a cab which he assisted her to enter. Automatically she gave her address and the cab took off.
Minutes later the cab dropped her off in front of her shop. She paid him off and unlocking the door, entered. Leaving the closed sign in the window she closed and re-locked the door. Passing a counter with a display of various styles of atomizers and bottles of various colored liquids and then the counter with her cash register, she rounded it and went into the back of the shop. Once there she moved to her desk and dropped dejectedly into her chair. She threw the copy of the Planet on her desk.
Her black cat, Drau, sensing her mood, jumped up into her lap and tried to comfort her mistress. Absentmindedly Miranda began to stroke her soft black fur. The feel of the silky fur under her hand was comforting, but even as she stroked the cat, Miranda heaved a disconsolate sigh. Not knowing what else to do, she picked up an antique letter opened and started slicing open her mail.
As she was doing this she looked at the contents and absently sorted it as bills and other communications. When she opened a particular envelope near the bottom of the stack out tumbled a piece of cardstock. She picked it up and turned it over to reveal an invitation. She read:
"You are invited to attend the premiere party of our newest fragrance,
‘Exclusive', at the
world famous Daily Planet."
Reading the invitation provoked a reaction. The words, Daily Planet, struck a chord. She dropped the invitation and picked up the paper she had picked up in Luthor's office, the Daily Planet. Her eyes zeroed in on that byline, "By Lois Lane" and her ire began to rise. An idea began to form and she picked up the invitation. As her plan began to crystallize she started to smile an enigmatic smile.
With a new determination she picked up Drau and after a final pat placed her pet on her feet on the floor. Miranda moved over to what looked like a chemist's lab bench and pulled a bottle of clear liquid from a shelf. After putting on a charcoal mask she transferred a small quantity of the liquid to an antique atomizer and then filled it with alcohol. Once she had the spray head in place she shook it for a time to mix the contents and then held it up and looked at it admiringly as she said, repeating what she had said to Luthor, "I
can prove it to you."
Quickly she checked herself in the mirror and satisfied that her makeup was well done, she bent down and patted Drau again and said, "Be good and watch the store. Momma has a job to do." As she exited the shop, she donned a hat which partially concealed her features and re-locked the door behind her.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
It was a short time later:
When the staff left the conference room, they found that the newsroom was being transformed into a veritable perfume and fashion show with decorations and a runway of sorts. More and more workers, photographers and models were arriving all of the time.
After a time it appeared as though all of the preparations were complete and the show was begun with high fashion models walking the runway to the flash of strobes while others strolled around the bull pen spraying individuals with various fragrances. The cameramen didn't limit their activities to the runway either. They circulated and snapped shots of the models spraying the fragrances as well. Not to be left out, Jimmy had grabbed his camera and started taking pictures as well.
Taking a break from picture taking, Jimmy joined Lois and Clark. Thus, Lois, Clark and Jimmy were standing in front of Perry's office watching all of the activity when in a disgusted tone, Lois commented, "The beautiful people."
Entranced by all of the beautiful women parading around in high fashion and not picking up on the sarcasm, Jimmy replied with an awed and heartfelt, "Yeah."
Lois began to wax eloquent on the subject, "It's such a sad comment on society. Dress a certain way, smell a certain way, and the world will love you."
Just then a gorgeous model passed close by and gave Clark the eye.
As he started speaking in response to Lois' comment, Clark looked at the model, perhaps a second too long as she passed, "Yeah. Sad, Lois, very sad."
Seeing the look that the model was giving Clark, if Lois hadn't known Clark so well, Lois might have felt threatened, but Lois did know Clark. Her newly acquired memories of their married life left her in no doubt, but rather than play with fire, Lois put her arm around his and looking at the model with a warning in her eyes, Lois said, "Sorry, Sweetie, this one isn't available."
Holding up his hand, Jimmy quickly chimed in, "But I am."
Hearing Jimmy, the model looked his way and with a disappointed look, she turned away and continued walking.
With her arm still possessively wrapped around Clark's, Lois started moving in the direction of their desks. "Anyway, like I said before, we'll never get anything done today."
Clark stopped and pulled Lois around facing him and into a hug, "So … why don't we take the day off?"
"Because it's a work day, Clark."
In a teasing tone, Clark asked, "Haven't you ever played hooky, Lois?"
With an unladylike snort, Lois replied, "Never!"
Clark gave her a look of disbelief. "You're kidding!"
"No, really, Never! I was student body president in high school and college. I had to set an example. Besides, what's so great about playing hooky anyway?"
"Oh, I don't know. Being someplace, doing something you're not supposed to be doing. It's just, you know ... fun. I guess having some fun runs contrary to the Lois Lane work ethic."
As if she had to defend her position, Lois continued, "I had a lot of fun in high school. Chess club. Math club. Year book editor."
Totally unimpressed, Clark said, "Wow."
Lois, feeling somewhat insulted asked, "What are you saying, Clark? That I'm not fun? That I'm not a fun person?" Lois was standing there almost glaring at Clark and he could feel her wrath. Jimmy who had followed them to the vicinity of their desks came under that baleful glare simply because he was also there.
Putting up his hands in a defensive gesture he said, "I didn't say a word."
Lois lowered her voice and said, "Clark Kent, of all people, you should know how much fun I am."
Suddenly he had a goofy smile as he remembered just how much fun they had together. He didn't have to say a thing. That smile said it all.
Seeing that smile, Lois started to blush because she knew just where his thoughts were taking him.
Unknown to the presenters, their ranks had been infiltrated by an outsider. Along with the other models that were walking around indiscriminately spraying perfume was Miranda. She was operating her atomizer as she circulated, however she was looking for a specific target.
Before Lois had a chance to say anything, she was interrupted by Perry stepping out of his office and approaching her desk, "Lois, about those fruit flies …"
Seeing Lois turn in reply to that hail, Miranda thought, <That's her!> She asked, "Have you tried my new fragrance?"
Lois replied, "No, thank you. I don't wear …"
Miranda sprayed Lois, catching Clark, Jimmy and Perry at the same time.
Lois realized that while she had been distracted by Perry, she had been sprayed, finished her statement, "perfume," and waved her hands in the air to ward off the scent, to no avail.
Perry, Jimmy and Clark were all similarly occupied as Miranda sauntered off into the crowd, spraying as she went.
As she disappeared, Perry made a face and made the comment, "Smells like ‘eu de sweatsocks'."
With a disgusted look, Jimmy asked, "What died?" as he continued to wave his hands in the air.
Perry turned away and headed for his office, completely forgetting what he had wanted to talk to Lois about. He was waving his hands in the air, attempting to clear the offending odor.
With a cynical tone, Lois said, "That stuff's probably $300 a quarter ounce. Highway robbery."
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