Pheromone, My Lovely - Matchmaker Style
Rated PG-13
As always comments are welcome. (ken.janney@kjanney.com)
* * denotes emphasis
< > denotes thoughts
As always comments are welcome. (ken.janney@kjanney.com)
Pheromone, My Lovely - Matchmaker Style 02/12
Previously
In a teasing tone, Clark asked, "Haven't you ever played hooky, Lois?"
With an unladylike snort, Lois replied, "Never!"
Clark gave her a look of disbelief. "You're kidding!"
"No, really, Never! I was student body president in high school and college. I had to set an example. Besides, what's so great about playing hooky anyway?"
"Oh, I don't know. Being someplace, doing something you're not supposed to be doing. It's just, you know ... fun. I guess having some fun runs contrary to the Lois Lane work ethic."
As if she had to defend her position, Lois continued, "I had a lot of fun in high school. Chess club. Math club. Year book editor."
Totally unimpressed, Clark said, "Wow."
Lois, feeling somewhat insulted asked, "What are you saying, Clark? That I'm not fun? That I'm not a fun person?" Lois was standing there almost glaring at Clark and he could feel her wrath. Jimmy who had followed them to the vicinity of their desks came under that baleful glare simply because he was also there.
Putting up his hands in a defensive gesture he said, "I didn't say a word."
Lois lowered her voice and said, "Clark Kent, of all people, you should know how much fun I am."
Suddenly he had a goofy smile as he remembered just how much fun they had together. He didn't have to say a thing. That smile said it all.
Seeing that smile, Lois started to blush because she knew just where his thoughts were taking him.
Before Lois had a chance to say anything, she was interrupted by Perry stepping out of his office and approaching her desk, "Lois, about those fruit flies …"
Seeing Lois turn in reply to that hail, Miranda thought, <That's her!> She asked, "Have you tried my new fragrance?"
Lois replied, "No, thank you. I don't wear …"
Miranda sprayed Lois, catching Clark, Jimmy and Perry at the same time.
Lois realized that while she had been distracted by Perry, she had been sprayed, finished her statement, "perfume," and waved her hands in the air to ward off the scent, to no avail.
Perry, Jimmy and Clark were all similarly occupied as Miranda sauntered off into the crowd.
As she disappeared, Perry made a face and made the comment, "Smells like ‘eu de sweatsocks'."
With a disgusted look, Jimmy asked, "What died?" as he continued to wave his hands in the air.
Perry turned away and headed for his office, completely forgetting what he had wanted to talk to Lois about. He was waving his hands in the air, attempting to clear the offending odor.
With a cynical tone, Lois said, "That stuff's probably $300 a quarter ounce. Highway robbery."
And Now:
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 3
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Across the newsroom Cat Grant had cornered one of the models, April Stephens, and was interviewing her, "April, what about the rumors about you and Kevin?" She readied her pad to take down April's comments.
April who was used to dealing with rumor mongers and paparazzi smiled and said, "We're just friends, really."
Not one to be put off so easily, Cat followed up, "Uh huh, if you say so. What about that story about you and Mel?"
April smiled and said, "No comment."
Unnoticed by Lois and Clark, Miranda continued to circulate around the newsroom spraying her concoction on staffers and models as she headed in a circuitous route for the elevator.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Later that afternoon all of the hustle and bustle had faded. The crews that had come in to set up that runway had returned to remove it after most of the models and photographers had left. Finally the staff members were able to concentrate on work.
Lois was at her desk and she was struggling with the assignment regarding the Malathion spray for fruit flies. This was just so mundane a story that she couldn't make herself concentrate on it and she found herself glancing more and more frequently at her new husband, the man that had come to mean literally everything to her. She thought back to the time in Smallville and the time they had spent on the swing after returning from the Corn Festival. In her memory she could feel those first tentative kisses which had quickly escalated to high passion. That passion had led her to call Clark to her bed. She would never embarrass him by admitting that she had detected and was very gratified by his very physical response. She knew that he wanted her … wanted her desperately. Wanted to make love to her, but still allowed her to set the limits and the pace that their relationship would take. The thought of their time in the hay loft brought color to her cheeks and an increase in her body temperature.
Clark was working on his article about the dockworkers strike and was unaware that she was staring at him. She had already removed her jacket and now in response to her increased body heat she reached up and unbuttoned first one and then a second button of her blouse pulling the lapels apart revealing her cleavage. She still watched him as she reached for her compact and tube of lipstick. She only tore her eyes away from Clark long enough to assure herself that she was applying her lipstick appropriately. After putting the cap back on the tube of lipstick and closing the compact, Lois made up her mind and stood. After smoothing down her skirt which was a floor length wrap skirt she swayed her way over to his desk. Clark was so absorbed in what he was doing that Lois had actually managed to sit on his desk and bring her leg up, planting her foot on his desk without him even looking up. When she did her wrap skirt opened revealing her leg almost all the way to her hip.
Clark was busily typing on his computer keyboard when Lois, in a singsong tone said, "Clllaaaarrrkkkkk."
Without even looking up Clark said, "Just a second Lois, I…" At that point he glanced up and his breath caught in his throat as he saw Lois' leg and then where she was and her modified attire hit him. His head slowly swiveled up to look at her.
She flipped her hair and casually asked, "What'cha workin' on?"
This very uncharacteristic behavior, the unbuttoned blouse, the dreamy eyed expression took Clark aback and he automatically replied, "The dock strike. You know, the two sides really aren't that far apart."
Lois leaned in so that she was closer and Clark had a good view down her open blouse. In a husky tone she asked, "How far apart are they, really?"
Glancing around to see if anyone else had noticed Lois' uncharacteristic behavior, Clark finally decided that he had to question it, "Lois, are you feeling okay?"
In that same husky, sultry tone she replied, "Never better." She moved in even closer and reached out to run her fingers through his hair and trail a finger down the side of his face, "I just … couldn't help noticing how very … sexy … you look today."
Looking down at his attire, white button-down shirt with the collar open and his tie loosened and his sleeves rolled up he had to question her appraisal, "Sexy?"
Lois released a sigh and said, "Very, and I meant it when I said I want you to give me time to admire your body in the morning."
Looking around, making sure that no one would overhear, Clark said, "Oh, I get it. What do you want, dinner in Paris, a weekend in Hawaii?"
Lois leaned in and placed her finger on his lips to silence him as she said, "No. I don't want anything. Except … you … making … love … to … me." She was practically lying across his desk at this point.
Looking around again he realized that there were just too many people around. Now, if they had been alone he might have accommodated her and made love to her right there on the desk or floated them up into the air, but good sense overruled and Clark said, "Honey, you've already got me, but don't you want to wait until we get home for that kind of … activity?"
In a pouty tone, Lois said, "I can't wait that long. I'm still a newlywed, you know. We haven't had a
proper honeymoon."
Leaning in to give her a kiss, he said, "Yeah, I know. Me too. I'll have to see what we can do about that."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Perry White was leaning back in his office chair listening to Elvis singing ‘Burning Love'. He had his feet propped up on his desk while he nodded his head and tapped his hand in time to the beat. Just as Elvis was singing the line, ‘Girl, girl, girl, girl you're gonna set me on fire' he was interrupted by Rehalia coming in to empty his trash can.
When she bent over she presented her derriere to his view. Perry straightened up in his chair, slowly lowered his feet and sat up for a better view. A lascivious smile slowly formed on his face as he watched her work.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Long after the rest of the other models had left Cat finally finished her interview with April. Jimmy had been a very interested observer and when he saw Cat leave he saw his chance. He pulled up his collar and looking very dapper in his photographer's vest and carrying a camera approached the desk that April had taken as a refuge. She was in the process of checking her makeup when Jimmy walked up. His attempt at being Mr. Cool however was doomed to failure because at the last second he stumbled and knocked over some of the knickknacks on the desk. He quickly recovered and grabbed the objects, replacing them in their former positions. Acting in a way that he thought was suave and sophisticated he said, "Hey there."
April had looked at him when he had knocked over the items and now looked back at him, dismissing him immediately by going back to powdering her nose.
Undaunted, Jimmy addressed her, "The name's Olsen. James Olsen. I guess you've heard of me."
Finally looking directly at him, disdainfully, April said, "No, I haven't."
Jimmy replied, "No
problem. Most people just know me through my photographs. Bosnia? Beirut?" He coughed a couple of times as the lie stuck in his throat. "Nam?"
April looked him up and down. He obviously wasn't old enough to have been involved in the Viet Nam conflict she decided. This was a line, and a poor one at that. "Look, James …"
Jimmy grabbed the desk lamp and swiveled it out of the way drawing a look of annoyance from April because she had been using that light. "You can call me Jimmy. Listen, let's cut to the chase. You like what
you see. I like what
I see. Shall we say, cocktails, tomorrow night, your place?"
April closed her compact with a snap, stood and with a sneer on her face she breezed past Jimmy and out of the newsroom without so much as a backward glance.
As April was leaving, Jimmy was undaunted and finished up, saying, "Okay. No problem. My place," to her retreating figure.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
A little later, Cat was in the copy room and was beating on the machine in anger and frustration. Unknown, to her, the machine had been reported as out of order, but no one had thought to put up a sign to that effect. Just as she was about to commit major mayhem to the recalcitrant machine the copy room door opened and a slightly balding individual who appeared to be in his forties stuck his head in. Spotting the machine he opened the door and stepped through carrying a tool bag.
As he entered he asked, "What seems to be the problem?"
Cat, stopped in the middle of her wind up which promised major damage to the offending machine and asked, "Who are you?"
"I'm Phil, the copier repair guy."
"Oh, you're just in time." She gave the machine a sideways kick as she said, "This thing ate my originals!"
"Well, let me have a look," he said as he moved to the side of the machine and placed his tool kit on the floor. He opened the side of the machine and immediately started pulling out slide drawers and fishing around in the guts of the machine with his hands.
Cat had moved away to give him room and leaning back against a table which position hiked her skirt up even higher than it had been watched with interest for a time finally beginning to blatantly stare at him with her arms folded across her chest. He finally succeeded in rescuing Cat's originals. When he handed them to her she gave him an appreciative look. In an almost sultry tone she said, "You're pretty deft at this... I mean, it looks like you know what you're doing."
Phil had returned to the problem at hand and had his hands inside the machine again as he turned his head and replied, "I've always been good with my hands." As he said this he was giving her a very appreciative look, taking in her long bare legs, tight dress and ample bosom.
Cat reached up and started fingering a dangling earring as she asked, "Really?" She ended her statement and removed the earring and started closing the distance between them.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Clark thought that he had settled Lois down, but decided that one sure way to distract her was to find her a candy bar, preferably a Double Fudge Crunch bar. He left her sitting on the edge of his desk as he headed for the candy machine. When he got there he reached into his pocket and found only a few coins. He was turning to retrieve a dollar from his billfold in his jacket, but unknown to him, Lois had followed and was right behind him. As he turned Lois almost literally tackled him, driving him back into the candy machine. He had been so distracted that he hadn't heard her following him. Her arms quickly snaked up around his neck and looking around he said, "Lois, please, get a grip."
With a wanton look Lois' hands started traveling downwards as she said, "Believe me, I'd love to." He stopped her hands from continuing their downward path so she moved in for a kiss which at any other time would be generating cheers and calls of ‘Floor Show' or ‘Get a room!' from other staffers.
Much as he was enjoying it, they were still in the office and his personal sense of propriety was offended at what she was doing. He reached up and disengaged her arms and pushing her away, slightly, said, "Lois, I don't know what kind of game you're playing, but this is making me very ... uncomfortable. We're still at work. We should save this for home."
Lois was very agreeable, "Okay, then, let's get out of here."
Aghast, Clark sputtered, "Out of here?"
Lois nodded enthusiastically as she said, "Yes!"
Dumbfounded, Clark asked, "Now you want to play hooky?"
She looked offended and replied, "We're married, so it's
not hooking. How could you say something like that, anyhow?"
Clark was exasperated, "Not hooking, hooky. Playing hooky."
Her frown turned upside down into a smile and brightening, she said, "Oh, right. Hooky. Yes, let's play hooky."
"So now you've changed your mind. Now you want to play hooky?"
"Desperately!" Lois reached for and put her arms around his neck and started playing with his hair.
Clark pointed out, "But … we still have work to do."
Clark couldn't believe his ears when the success driven Lois said, "Forget about work, forget about time, forget about the rest of the world," in a whisper she added, "forget about Superman. No, on second thought, let him take us away from all of this."
Just then the door to Perry's office was flung open and a screaming Rehalia came stumbling out, blubbering in Spanish and waving her hands as if warding off an assault. She was immediately followed be a distraught Perry who was pleading with her, "Wait! Mi amor! My peach pie! Te adoro!"
Rehaila fled right past Lois and Clark. Clark had managed to hold off Lois' continued amorous advances and Clark called to Perry, "Chief. What happened? Is Rehaila okay?"
Perry stopped and addressed Clark. In an offended tone he said, "'Okay' doesn't begin to describe her. I want to shower her with gifts, build her a golden pedestal, and adore her. She's everything I've dreamed of."
Astonished at this, Lois and Clark were both looking at him and Lois' hands slipped down and grabbed his tie as Clark asked, "What about your wife?"
Bewildered by this change of subject, Perry asked, "My wife?"
In an I-told-you-so tone, Clark replied, "Yes. Alice. Your wife. The woman who has spies everywhere."
Perry smiled an odd sort of smile and replied, "Plenty of love to go around, son." Ending this Perry turned and took off in pursuit of Rehalia.
As he did Lois renewed her assault on Clark trying desperately to pull him into another kiss and Clark shouted after Perry, "Elvis never cheated on Priscilla!"
Perry shouted back over his shoulder, "He never met Rehalia!"
Clark turned back to his more immediate problem, Lois. He didn't know what exactly had gotten into her, but she had come close to revealing his secret, accidentally, a couple of times. Something was happening. She was acting out of character and so was Perry. What was the common denominator? Maybe he should take her home, but if he did that, he was sure he'd have to stay with her to keep her out of trouble. That would mean that Superman would be unavailable, but he couldn't leave her alone in this condition.
He turned back to Lois and she tried to put her arms around his neck again. He said, "Just a minute, Lois," as his super sense of smell picked up a whiff of smoke. He did a quick sweep with his enhanced vision and saw wisps of smoke coming out from under the door to the copy room. He tuned in with his super hearing and all he could hear was the copy machine running, making copy after copy after copy. Sliding his glasses down his nose, Clark switched over to his X-ray vision and looked through the door. Immediately he closed his eyes and had an embarrassed expression because of what he had seen.
Lois claimed his attention once more. She grabbed his tie again and pulled him to herself as she said in an assertive tone, "Minute's up, Clark. Come to
mama."
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