Pheromone, My Lovely - Matchmaker Style
Rated PG-13
As always comments are welcome. (ken.janney@kjanney.com)
* * denotes emphasis
< > denotes thoughts
As always comments are welcome. (ken.janney@kjanney.com)
Pheromone, My Lovely - Matchmaker Style 07/12
Previously
Back in the newsroom, Clark led Lois back to his desk. As they were moving in that direction, Clark noticed that the copy machine was still in operation and running non-stop. Shaking his head, he didn't even bother to slide his glasses down to check. That last time had been too embarrassing. Finally reaching his desk he tried to get Lois to sit in his guest chair when he sat, however, she had other plans and as soon as he sat she jumped into his lap and threw her arms around his neck.
Clark reached up to gently disengage her arms as he looked around nervously to see if anyone noticed the PDA, but after just a second decided that it would go totally unnoticed amongst all of the PDA that was going on around them.
Holding her arms and looking into her eyes he said, "Lois, listen to me. You are not in control …"
Her reply was immediate, "I know that Clark! For the first time in my life I feel free to express how I feel about you! I don't care who knows."
"Lois, no, there is something very strange going on here."
"Yes, strange and wonderful!"
"Lois, you're not yourself! You've changed, *everybody* around here has changed."
Smiling and giggling like a teenager in love, Lois replied, "But, for the better."
Realizing that he needed her help, he tried once more to get through to her, "Lois, snap out of it! I need you to help me figure out what has happened. Please. Concentrate."
Contritely, like a six year old, Lois said, "Okay."
Clark nodded and said, "Good. Now, it all started yesterday afternoon."
Lois nodded and brightly replied, "I remember."
Clark started doing what he and Lois usually did together; he started throwing out ideas, brainstorming. "It seems to have affected almost everyone in the newsroom. Maybe something we drank or ate?"
Lois put her arms around Clark's neck and brightly, like a child playing a game replied, "I had Chinese Chicken salad from Wong's. You had a steak sandwich with fries."
Clark disentangled her arms again and continued, "What else? The models were here, with the perfume." He stopped speaking as he considered the implications of his statement, "The perfume."
As he was considering the implications of what he had hit upon, Jimmy dropped a pile of black and white photos on the corner of his desk. As Jimmy was about to walk away, Clark stopped him and asked, "What are those?"
Jimmy, with a dreamy expression replied, "Photos from yesterday's show." He plopped down into Clark's guest chair and contemplated the photos he still held. Turning one around so that Clark could see that it was a picture of April, he asked, "Beautiful, isn't she? And she's all mine."
Clark was now convinced that there was a problem and that Jimmy was affected as well. All he could do was warn him, "Jimmy, be careful. I … don't want you to get hurt."
Surprised, Jimmy asked, "Hurt? How could
I get hurt?" Jimmy stood up and walked off in a romantic haze.
As Jimmy walked off, Clark started leafing through the photos. Lois craned around so that she could see them as well. She asked, "What're we looking for?"
As he was leafing through, he replied, "I don't know. But remember when …" Suddenly he had the picture which showed Miranda spraying Lois, Perry and him. With conviction, he said, "There!"
Lois looked at the picture and Clark zoomed in with his microscopic vision. He fixed Miranda's appearance in his memory and took a close look at the atomizer that she was using fixing it also in his memory. He muttered to himself, "Probably leaded glass, hand blown shape, antique, very rare."
And Now:
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 6
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Lex Luthor stepped off of the elevator onto the newsroom floor. Looking around he was amazed and shocked at what he saw. Red, white and pink balloons, many shaped like hearts. Paper cutout hearts and flowers abounded. Couples were strolling hand in hand. Steve and Denise were still at it. As he moved away from the door to the elevator, Perry rushed past. Luthor said, "Good morning, Perry."
Perry rushed past and into the elevator. As he was hitting the button he said, "Gotta run, Lex. Love waits for no man."
While Lex was staring after Perry in shock at this change in his behavior, Clark had a sudden inspiration. He picked Lois up and deposited her in his guest chair. She jumped up grabbed his hand and asked, "Where are you going?" in a hurt tone.
He patted her hand and said, "Just downstairs, to the newsstand."
Not wanting to be separated from his she offered, "I'll come with you."
Wanting to complete his errand in the shortest possible time, and knowing that would only happen if she stayed where she was, he said, "I'll be right back."
In a teasing tone, Lois said, "Cross your heart and hope to die?"
Wearily, he held up three fingers in the scout salute and said, "Scout's honor."
Relieved, Lois hugged him and he turned to go.
Luthor caught the end of the exchange between Lois and Clark with interest. When Clark walked away, Luthor approached Lois. She was wearing a dreamy expression as she watched Clark walk away.
As Lex approached Lois a female staffer passed by and said, "Have a love balloon," as she handed a red balloon on a red ribbon streamer.
Lex automatically accepted the balloon, his attention centered on Lois.
Lex approached Lois and said, softly, "Lois?"
Spinning around, Lois's attention was diverted to him and she said, in a somewhat disappointed tone, "Oh, Lex."
Looking around, Luthor commented, "Things have certainly changed around here." He released the ribbon allowing the balloon to float away.
Still in a dreamy fog, Lois replied, "Have they? I hadn't noticed."
Taken aback, Luthor said, "You hadn't …" He thought about it another second and asked, "Are we still on for dinner tomorrow night?"
Lois replied, "Sure. But please understand something. There's only one man in the world for me. His name is Clark Kent. He'll be joining us for the interview." She smiled as she watched Clark moving up the ramp to the elevator. She sighed, "Mmmmmm."
Luthor turned to see what she was looking at and saw Kent. Turning back to her he said, "Interview? I thought we were having dinner. Just the two of us."
"Oh, I'm sorry, Lex. Clark has to be with me. I can't live without him."
Lex frowned at this statement. "But, this was to be our time together. A quiet, intimate dinner."
"Lex, Clark is my partner as well as my all-in-all. He has to be with me. We can still have dinner, but we will finally do that interview that we were supposed to do so long ago."
"Is Kent going to be involved in all of your activities from now on?"
"Of course! He's my partner. My love. My other half."
He didn't know it, but Lois was speaking from her heart. Luthor thought, <This has to be the effect of the stuff Miranda made. If it can do this to Lois and the rest of the staff here the possibilities are stupendous. To inexplicably make her head-over-heels in love with that bumpkin, Kent! I just hope the effects aren't permanent. Hopefully, they will have worn off by Friday and I will be able to reclaim her heart. I have other plans for Lois Lane. I need to talk to Miranda.> After a final look around, Luthor walked up the ramp and pushed the button for the elevator. While he waited for the doors to open he turned and performed a final survey of the chaos that Miranda had created with her potion. When he heard the doors open he smiled and turned to enter the elevator.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
As Luthor exited the Daily Planet building Nigel opened the door to the limo. As he was entering he said, "Nigel, call Miranda. Ask her to come to my study tomorrow at 5:00."
"Very good, Sir." A second later the import of what Luthor had said, sank in. "You'll forgive me for asking, sir, but I thought you had … cancelled her."
After Nigel had moved around and taken his seat behind the wheel, Luthor continued. "Well, I've had a change of heart. It seems I was wrong about her. Apparently, she has developed a formula that renders people incapable of resisting their animal urges."
With a sinister smile, Nigel asked, "And that would be of some service to you?"
With a smirk, Luthor replied, "Oh, yes, yes indeed. You see, I've always thought of myself as an opportunist, and what we have here is definitely an ... opportunity. If you control men's hearts, their minds will follow. For example, a politician, owned by me, is losing in the polls. A dashing fellow, but the kind that women love only from afar. The night before elections, a little whiff through the auditorium, the theater ... the result ... a landslide. Or, I wish to buy a company or two at a bargain price. A spray here, a dab there ... how could they deny me?"
"Very ingenious, sir."
Smugly, Luthor replied, "Thank you, Nigel. That's what, as they say, I get the big bucks for.
"Now, the next item. I need a distraction. Tomorrow evening, Lois is supposed to be coming to dinner. She just insisted that her partner accompany her. I need something that will call the country bumpkin away. Perhaps a fire or a robbery for him to report on so that she will come alone."
"I could contact Duggins. He could start a fire. Or perhaps, Roberts could perform a jewelry store heist."
"Yes, Nigel. Contact Roberts and set that up. That will serve two purposes. It will distract Kent and will bring in some revenue. See to it."
"Very good, Sir. Time?"
"Between 6 and 6:30 and make sure that it is at a distance from us."
"Very good, Sir. I'll arrange it. I won't use one of our regular men. I'll recruit someone from the outside and then call in an anonymous tip."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
After Luthor left newsroom, Clark returned from the newsstand with a pile of magazines, fashion magazines. As soon as he came out of the elevator he headed for his desk.
As soon as he was close enough, Lois threw herself into his arms and said, breathlessly, "You were gone so long, my darling." She started kissing him.
Pulling away slightly, Clark looked around for Luthor and not seeing him asked Lois, "What did Luthor want?"
"Oh, he wanted to confirm our dinner tomorrow night."
Clark was shocked, "Oh? What did you tell him?"
"I told him that we would be there for the interview."
"We?"
"Of course. I wouldn't go without you. You're my dearest darling, my husband. I wouldn't go anywhere without you."
Hefting the magazines, Clark said, "Why don't we go home. We have some research to do."
Grabbing her coat, Lois started to smile a lascivious smile as she said, "Anything, my darling. Yes, let's go home."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
That evening
Perry was a sight to behold. He was wearing black leather, a jacket and pants. The sleeves were pushed up, the lapels on the jacket were large and open and he had a white scarf draped around his neck, hanging down on both sides. As he walked down the corridor of a modest apartment house he checked the numbers on the doors. When he found the right one he struck a pose strongly reminiscent of Elvis in concert and started singing "Burning Love" in a reasonable imitation of Elvis.
He made it through two bars when the door was suddenly pulled open. As it was the sound of crying children could be heard. Rehalia could be seen in the background and a man, obviously Rehalia's husband confronted Perry. He was obviously very angry. To top it off, he was a mountain of a man standing at least 6 foot 3 inches and built like a linebacker.
As soon as the door opened, Perry stopped singing and simply stood there aghast. He had never seen Rehalia's husband and seeing him was in awe and fear.
The two opponents stood thus for only about 5 seconds before Rehalia's husband pulled back his fist and sent it into Perry's face.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
About the same time
Night had fallen and sometime in the interim, Jimmy had gone out and rented a shiny red, new Corvette. He had also stopped off at home and changed clothes, going for the Miami Vice look. A tan sport jacket over a black turtleneck shirt, white dress slacks and loafers without socks.
He pulled up in front of the club, parked and exiting the car, flipping the keys to the parking valet as he rounded the front.
Bypassing the waiting line he headed straight for the door. He was reaching in his pocket for some bills as he approached the door.
The bouncer who looked like a Viking who had just stepped out of a Norse Legend. He wore a dark suit like it was a suit of animal skins and moved to intercept Jimmy. Jimmy went to move around him and the bouncer said, "Members only!"
Jimmy took some bills and as he said, "No problem," stuffed the bills into the bouncer's top pocket.
As Jimmy went to move on by, the bouncer put his hand in Jimmy's chest and stopped him while with the other he retrieved the bills and stuffed them into his mouth and started to chew.
Jimmy was intimidated, but not deterred. Looking over his shoulder, Jimmy spotted April as she was exiting the building with several friends and said, "A … pril! I didn't know you were a member here," in his most debonair style.
April pulled a face and asked, "Are you?"
Jimmy tried to make light of it and said, "Me? No way. I hate these kind of places. I prefer to spend my nights by a roaring fire. A glass of wine. A beautiful woman." He looked around in conspiratorial fashion and then continued, "Let's stop playing games, April. Hop in and let me show you what you've been missing."
April just couldn't believe that she was hearing correctly. She stared at him, amazed at his audacity. Finally she addressed the bouncer and we learned his name, "Hans!" She inclined her head in Jimmy's direction.
Hans started to make his move on Jimmy, but as he approached, Jimmy put up his hands and said, "Okay, big guy. I get the picture."
Seeing this, April turned away and rejoining her friends started walking down the sidewalk while Jimmy watched, forlornly. Jimmy was devastated and in his grief walks right past the Corvette, forgetting that it was what he was driving.
Thinking about what had just happened; he started crossing the street, without even looking. Suddenly, there is the blare of a horn and Jimmy looked up and saw a large truck bearing down on him. Automatically he threw up his arms in a futile, defensive gesture.
Fortunately, Superman was doing his nightly patrol when he heard the horn and the screech of brakes. Seconds before the truck would have hit him, out of the night sky; Superman swooped in and picking him up, flew him to safety.
Once he was safe, Superman asked, "Jimmy? Are you all right?"
Jimmy seemed to snap out of his blue funk, at least temporarily and replied, "I think so. What happened?"
Superman replied, "Come on. I'd better take you home."
Jimmy looked around and remembered, "Wait! My car. I have to return it to the lot."
Nodding his head in understanding, Superman reversed course and returned him to his car. As he set him on his feet he asked, "Are you going to be all right to drive home?"
Shaking his head as if coming out of a daze, Jimmy replied, "Yeah, I think so. Thanks, Superman. For everything."
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