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Wrong Place, Wrong Time, Wrong Clark TOC can be found HereWell, what do you think? Did Clark stick his foot in his mouth again? What WAS he thinking? (Coming up in Part 182) Comments welcome.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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I'm thinking that drunk/hangover Clark is a bit more of a lunkhead than usual. Good thing he is usually immune to alcohol.
I'm also thinking that Cat needs to spill about her observations before everything hits the fan. She'll probably have to ambush Lois to be able to tell her at this point. I'm wary of a Clone/NotSoClone Lex hiding around in the ark somewhere.
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datasprite12: Hi, datasprite! I'm so glad to see that you're still reading. I'm thinking that drunk/hangover Clark is a bit more of a lunkhead than usual. Good thing he is usually immune to alcohol. Yes, that's probably a good thing. Then again, is anyone ever at their best when seen drunk or hungover? I'm also thinking that Cat needs to spill about her observations before everything hits the fan. She'll probably have to ambush Lois to be able to tell her at this point. I'm wary of a Clone/NotSoClone Lex hiding around in the ark somewhere. At the moment, Lois is too angry at Cat and blaming her for taking Clark away from Lex Plaza when Lois needed him. So, that's one vote for Clark as a lunkhead. I wonder if he'll change anyone's mind? Thanks for your comments.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Jimbo was asleep on the twin bed in the loft, while Jimmy had taken over Clark’s own bed.
So much for coming home. I’m sure if Clark taped a sock to the arch, the guys would leave him and Lois alone in the big bed. JIMMY: Sorry, CK, Lois, I’m just on my way to the bathroom! It had to be better than the nicks and scratches he’d have all over his face after another attempt at shaving this way. What if he never gets his powers back? to soak up some early morning rays, bringing his cordless phone with him. For some additional radiation? He had no idea how long his abilities would be out this time. Usually until the next episode, or until the plot demands them. Whatever happens first. He had no idea how or why humans repeatedly dealt with this. Because excessive alcohol consummation causes memory lapses, thus negating the aversion training. Was it really worth this torment to feel a few hours of numbness from reality and to do things he was liable to regret in the morning? SPRING BREAKERS: Was it like Kryptonite, in that one was better able to tolerate the pain with repeated exposure? Only one way to find out and humans are said to be explorers. He decided that he would rather not discover the answer by experimentation. Why Kryptonians had spacecraft and yet weren’t able to save themselves, except for sending a bunch of nutjobs out into space to ‘form a colony’. JOR-EL: I had no idea they’d actually stumble across an asteroid that had an oxygen atmosphere. Jimmy was the closest James Olsen to the patio door, so Clark tossed the phone on his bed where it landed square on Jimmy’s stomach, waking him. So, he’s hung over then, huh? CLARK: What are you doing back so early? Lois kick you out?” It’s only been a couple of hours! Even Clark wouldn’t be able to muck things up so qui- Lex had taken away that sense of privacy and security from her. That why she sneaked into his stuff? To return the favor? That doesn’t sound like a very healthy relationship. Just being alone in this apartment made her skin crawl. Maybe if she moved her Kerths, her fish, and her harem’s costume over to Clark’s and torched the place? It was just business, they told her. She understood. Right. Wouldn’t she do the same…? LOIS: No! That’s just society page stuff. Let Cat do that! The non-request for an interview messages Lois skipped included a couple from strangers blaming her for Lex’s suicide. To be fair, Lex’s slut of an ex-fiancée did drive him off the balcony by cuckolding the poor man with that boytoy in tights. There was even a message from some drunk guy she could hardly hear, because he was in a noisy bar, who told her in a slurred voice that not to worry about anything because he loved her and was planning on coming over to show her just how much before the message got cut. Thank God that she hadn’t been home to deal with that guy. CLARK: LOIS: …oops? None of them warned her what kind of man they obviously knew he was. Because she *had* to know. And if she didn’t, she wouldn’t be worth them. “Not in this century,” Lois mumbled, hitting ‘delete’ and moving on to the next message. She didn’t owe that woman any favors. Yes, but now Cat gets to keep Clark since Lois isn’t claiming ownership. She wasn’t going back to LNN to work, not in this lifetime. She would have to be no-other-alternative desperate before she would consider it, and maybe not even then. So, that means when she figures out that they prefer hookers to be under 30? Apparently, after talking to everyone else, he had new questions to ask her and new information to share. Still trying to figure out just how much of Lex’s dough she’s weaseled off to the Caiman Islands? That man had no interest in history or historical significance unless there was a buck to be made from it. That’s not true. I’m sure he’d be happy to have his face placed into Mt. Rushmore. “I wish they would just get it over with and tear this place down,” Jimmy said, standing under where the globe used to sit over the entrance to the Daily Planet’s lobby.
“Yep, too many memories,” Perry agreed. He doesn’t sound very Stern to me. Perry gazed at Lois with a startled expression. “I asked him, actually, but he said he wasn’t interested.”
“Not interested?” she sputtered. “But… but… that’s impossible!” Seee! It certainly didn’t give her any confidence that Mr. Truth-and-Justice wasn’t about to break her heart as he had in her dream. Nah, that guy from her dream still had his hopes and thought he could score girls by the dozen during summer break. The guy standing in front of her, he’s a beggar. He might just take her if she offered. Lois raised her hand, cutting him off. “Yeah, well, there are some things I never thought possible that turned out to be very possible,” she said. Such as Clark being less optimistic than me. “But you guys giving up on the Daily Planet wasn’t one of them.” So, what’s she more ticked off about? That she doesn’t have a story or that she doesn’t have a place to publish the story even if she had it? but what if he were just another one of those men out to burn her? KYLE: “I’ve said this before, but I just hate that Luthor got his way in this one thing!” Perry said, slapping his palm with his fist. I bet Clark hates it even more that Lex got his way with something else, too. LOIS: I’m a *someone*! I mean… Lois scoffed. “Who would’ve thought that out of all of us Cat Grant would land on her feet first? Not I.” CAT: Hello! Cat. Jimmy chuckled. “Well, Lois, she is a Cat…”
Jimbo also smiled. “And you know what they say about cats always landing on their feet.” See? It paused on whether she should ask Mayson Drake to introduce her to Bill Church “It seems that was another one of Lex Luthor’s lies,” Mr. Stern went on.
“Wait a gosh darn minute! What are you saying? That Lex Luthor never owned the Daily Planet?” Perry asked. My lawyers went to take the Daily Planet off of LexCorp’s hands this morning, only to discover that it was a private asset owned solely by Lex Luthor himself.” Oh. ARI: Until Sheldon Bender, the executor of his estate figures out who inherits, its ownership is in limbo.” He held out a hand to Perry. Couldn’t they have Sheldon visited by some nice people who talk nicely to him so he releases the ownership to Mr. Stern? Perry shook his hand. “I appreciate your help, Mr. Stern.”
“Any time, Mr. White,” Mr. Stern said, stepping back into his town car. Clark said softly, moving down the building until he stood in a patch of sunlight. He’s like a sunflower, huh? If we’re so precious, then where were you yesterday? Held up. “Let me go first,” Lois insisted. She had stayed up half the night at her mother’s composing a list of questions for Clark to answer. The last time he went first the lunkhead had proposed. also, maybe a comma after ‘first’. “I’m going out to Las Vegas in a couple of hours with Jimmy.” Appointment at the Chapel of Love? “When all that dies down, we’ll talk. When I get back, okay?” Or does he want to make a tour of the Vegan cathouses? and we’re going to talk, now!” It’s possible I just found the missing comma. “And what?” she growled. She took a step forward, and he took another step back.
“Distance,” he replied, glancing away. If he says ‘maybe we should take a break’, Lois might just try to pickle-dice him. “Look, it’s not you. I promise you that. It’s me.” He’s treading on very dangerous ground. “I don’t know what’s up with you, Chuck, but I’m certainly not going to accept that answer.”
“I’m sorry, Lois… about a lot of things…” Too bad he can’t chose ‘flight’ as an option, right now, huh? “I do love you, Lois.” His hand rose to cover his heart. “You are my world.”
Her brow rose with disbelief. “So, you’re not taking it back?” He raised a hand to his head for a second and took a deep breath. “I’m not breaking up with you, Lois, if that’s what you thought. I just need some time…” Yep, he’s so getting sliced and diced. “Why do you have bloodshot eyes, Clark?” Lois asked, handing him back his glasses. Because he’s been out all night drinking and chatting up the local barfly scene. She could almost feel his pain in his jolted movements and reluctance. No, most of that is from the alcohol. LOIS: She would give him the time he needed to heal. Distance, not so much. Awwwww It wasn’t as if she was infused with Kryptonite and keeping him sick, now was she? LEX: Passed over opportunities. They were together now. She would get the answers out of him. Slowly. With time. Like pulling teeth, huh? “Then, why did you let me yell at you?” she forced herself to ask calmly.
“I thought anger was your super power, a part of the Lois Lane passion package,” he replied with a sheepish smile. “You mean there’s a way to opt out of the yelling? By all means, tell me how to turn it off. I’m all ears.” “I’m sorry I couldn’t be with you, yesterday, Lois. Believe me when I say I’d much rather have been with you,” Clark said, Instead of Lex? Everything would be all right.
***End of Part 181*** Well, what do you think? Did Clark stick his foot in his mouth again? What WAS he thinking? He's a strange one... Michael
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Darth Michael: Thanks for your comments. I’m sure if Clark taped a sock to the arch, the guys would leave him and Lois alone in the big bed. JIMMY: Sorry, CK, Lois, I’m just on my way to the bathroom! Exactly. What if he never gets his powers back? Never put off until tomorrow,what you hopefully don't need to learn today? For some additional radiation? Um... to have a conversation with out 4 other guys overhearing. Usually until the next episode, or until the plot demands them. Whatever happens first. /checks outline/ Hey! Look at that. /covers outline/ NOT Literally! Because excessive alcohol consummation causes memory lapses, thus negating the aversion training. Because if you become a drunk, then you have a better excuse of why the woman of your dreams considers you a lunkhead? SPRING BREAKERS: Yeah. Never saw the appeal, myself. Only one way to find out and humans are said to be explorers. Um... Check the internet? Um... do research? JIMBO: Man, I'm soooo on this assignment! Why Kryptonians had spacecraft and yet weren’t able to save themselves, except for sending a bunch of nutjobs out into space to ‘form a colony’. JOR-EL: I had no idea they’d actually stumble across an asteroid that had an oxygen atmosphere. Which is why he sent his son off separately. He wanted to make sure Kal-El would survive. So, he’s hung over then, huh? CLARK: Oh, dear. Have I gone into overkill mode? It’s only been a couple of hours! Even Clark wouldn’t be able to muck things up so qui- So, you've met our resident lunkhead, have you? That why she sneaked into his stuff? To return the favor? That doesn’t sound like a very healthy relationship. I'm sorry, Lex's stuff? No, because like Pandora, she's naturally curious. Maybe if she moved her Kerths, her fish, and her harem’s costume over to Clark’s and torched the place? CLARK: Um... /looking around/ You could share the patio with me. It's summer and quite warm at night. Wouldn’t she do the same…? LOIS: No! That’s just society page stuff. Let Cat do that! /Why Cat got Page 1 headlines, occasionally/ LOIS: What do you mean that's Page 1 above the fold stuff? To be fair, Lex’s slut of an ex-fiancée did drive him off the balcony by cuckolding the poor man with that boytoy in tights. SUPERMAN: There is no evidence that Ms. Lane and I are involved romantically. In fact, she's dating her partner Clark Kent. CLARK: /forgetting that Lois told him that she'd be at her mom's/ LOIS: /kicking before looking/…oops? Something like that. Good thing Cat was home, huh, or he might have ended up in bed with Jimmy. Because she *had* to know. And if she didn’t, she wouldn’t be worth them. Because she'd no longer be the future Mrs. Daddy Warbucks? Yes, but now Cat gets to keep Clark since Lois isn’t claiming ownership. LOIS: Cat already has ownership of a man. PHIL: Excuse me? MAYSON: Does that mean that Clark is a free agent? So, that means when she figures out that they prefer hookers to be under 30? So, in 4 years? Still trying to figure out just how much of Lex’s dough she’s weaseled off to the Caiman Islands? HENDERSON: No comment. That’s not true. I’m sure he’d be happy to have his face placed into Mt. Rushmore. LOIS: So, the environment then? He doesn’t sound very Stern to me. Um... canon dialogue, and I don't believe either Jimmy, Jimbo , or Perry were adopted by Franklin Stern. Nah, that guy from her dream still had his hopes and thought he could score girls by the dozen during summer break. The guy standing in front of her, he’s a beggar. He might just take her if she offered. LOIS: Gee, thanks. So, what’s she more ticked off about? That she doesn’t have a story or that she doesn’t have a place to publish the story even if she had it? So, Perry doesn't have friends at other newspapers who would publish Lois's exclusive if she had one? but what if he were just another one of those men out to burn her? KYLE: No, Michael, not literally. CLARK: Actually, from what I've observed from my experience as Lois's partner, many men are out to literally burn her. I'm just not one of them. I bet Clark hates it even more that Lex got his way with something else, too. LOIS: I’m a *someone*! I mean… What if Clark weren't referring to Lois... Lois scoffed. “Who would’ve thought that out of all of us Cat Grant would land on her feet first? Not I.” CAT: Hello! Cat. Jimmy chuckled. “Well, Lois, she is a Cat…”
Jimbo also smiled. “And you know what they say about cats always landing on their feet.” See? It wouldn't be a VirginiaR story without the corny jokes and puns though. It paused on whether she should ask Mayson Drake to introduce her to Bill Church ER: /thinks this a bad idea/ LOIS: What? I was just *considering* it. “It seems that was another one of Lex Luthor’s lies,” Mr. Stern went on.
“Wait a gosh darn minute! What are you saying? That Lex Luthor never owned the Daily Planet?” Perry asked. ER: /What do you mean?/ My lawyers went to take the Daily Planet off of LexCorp’s hands this morning, only to discover that it was a private asset owned solely by Lex Luthor himself.” Oh. ER: /Makes wild guess regarding the new owner/ ARI: Perhaps. Couldn’t they have Sheldon visited by some nice people who talk nicely to him so he releases the ownership to Mr. Stern? BENDER: Bribery is illegal at that price! Perry shook his hand. “I appreciate your help, Mr. Stern.”
“Any time, Mr. White,” Mr. Stern said, stepping back into his town car. ER: /wonders why Stern stopped by at all/ Perhaps he was driving by and thought he'd dash Perry's hopes completely. He’s like a sunflower, huh? Love the analogy... Metaphor... I always get those two confused. If we’re so precious, then where were you yesterday? Held up. LEX: Actually, he was held down... in the wine cellar. also, maybe a comma after ‘first’. Oh, so you're saying it should read: “Let me go, first,” Lois insisted. instead? But he's not holding on to her. (I figure you mean the second first, then.) Appointment at the Chapel of Love? CHAPEL OF LOVE (In 1994): I'm sorry, gentlemen, but same sex unions aren't allowed in the state of Nevada. Come back in a couple of decades. CLARK: Uh... no. JIMMY: Why does he always go there? CLARK: JIMBO: 'cause its JIMMY: Well, maybe a little funny. CLARK: No, it's not. LOIS: No, it's not. Or does he want to make a tour of the Vegan cathouses? JIMMY: I, personally, prefer the ones where they eat meat. and we’re going to talk, now!” It’s possible I just found the missing comma. But it's so pretty! If he says ‘maybe we should take a break’, Lois might just try to pickle-dice him. ROSS: I don't recommend it, bro. “Look, it’s not you. I promise you that. It’s me.” He’s treading on very dangerous ground. Maybe it means something else in the other dimension. Too bad he can’t chose ‘flight’ as an option, right now, huh? CLARK: What is Michael talking about? My flight to Vegas isn't for a few hours. ER: /confused and checks inter-dimensional dictionary/ LOIS: I knew it! "Lunkhead: See Clark Kent or Kryptonian." Yep, he’s so getting sliced and diced. So, Lois doesn't want honesty? Because he’s been out all night drinking and chatting up the local barfly scene. You sure you don't mean "barffy"? No, most of that is from the alcohol. LOIS: /mad/ No, only half of it. LEX: Passed over opportunities. There's always next time. Potato. Potahto. LOIS: I was thinking one button at a time. CLARK: Pull my teeth! Pull my teeth! “I thought anger was your super power, a part of the Lois Lane passion package,” he replied with a sheepish smile. “You mean there’s a way to opt out of the yelling? By all means, tell me how to turn it off. I’m all ears.” ER: /shocked that Clark thought it smart to mouth off to the pickle slicer lady while vulnerable/ Yep, he's that brave. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be with you, yesterday, Lois. Believe me when I say I’d much rather have been with you,” Clark said, Instead of Lex? Well, duh! Everything would be all right.
***End of Part 181*** ER: /waits impatiently for EW to drop the other shoe/ So, you're thinking I shouldn't have cut the end of the scene? But this part was getting long. Don't worry it will show up in 182. Maybe I'll include it in the Archive version. Well, what do you think? Did Clark stick his foot in his mouth again? What WAS he thinking? He's a strange one... I was expecting lots of feedback here because both my Betas were yelling at me when I sent this to them, insisting I fix this. Perhaps, I *should* put back in the deleted scene I cut... /checks deleted scene folder/ perhaps it would make everything make more sense. A taste of what's to come... “EPRAD,” Clark murmured against the top of her head.
Lois had been enjoying the feel of Clark’s chest against her ear; she hadn’t realized he had spoken. “Hmmm.”
“The assistant to the director of EPRAD called me this morning,” he repeated, pulling back enough to lean up against the wall and look Lois in the face. “They wanted to thank me for all the work that we put into clearing Professor Daitch, EPRAD, and Superman’s names from blame for the Nightfall scandal. I told them they should really be calling you.”
“You helped,” she admitted. “You never gave up on that story.” Although she realized he really couldn’t abandon it with LNN skewering Superman’s reputation on a daily basis.
“You got the ball rolling,” Clark said. “You knew that something was wrong and you followed that hunch to discover what. Anyway, the director of EPRAD offered… you an exclusive interview.”
“You mean he offered it to you,” she corrected with some bitterness.
“Yes, initially,” he said. “But I told him that you deserved it more than me. Besides, I’ll be in Las Vegas with Jimmy.”
Lois crossed her arms and stared at him. “You’re still going?”
“Jimmy’s been offered two days and nights at a hotel on the Strip in exchange for an interview about being Lex Luthor’s scapegoat for the Daily Planet bombing. It includes airfare for two. He grabbed it. I’m sure you would too after two months in jail for a crime you didn’t commit.”
She shrugged.
“He was going to take Jimbo, but after they saw me and heard about me being…” Clark coughed. “— beaten up and mugged, they both decided that I should go in Jimbo’s place. You want me back out?”
“You said ‘yes’ without consulting me,” Lois stated.
The muscle in his jaw twitched. “I didn’t realize I needed your permission,” he returned.
Lois took a breath to calm her racing heart from that backhanded slap across her face. “I thought we were a couple,” she said softly. “I thought we’d finally have time for us. I thought we would make these kinds of decisions together.”
“Lois, we are a couple, but I can’t run every decision I make past you. If this investigation wasn’t over, if we had gone ahead with our escape plan for you, we still wouldn’t be together for several days,” he reminded her. “All I’m going to do is spend two days sitting by the pool soaking up as much sunshine as possible, and then I’m coming home. Two days!” Clark flung out his hand in exasperation. “I can get that better out in Las Vegas than I can from my patio, here, in Metropolis.” He lowered his voice. “You know how important sunshine is to my healing.”
“Yes, but…”
“This is about me recovering faster,” he said. “This isn’t about us.”
“By not including me in the decision making process, or even considering whether I might want to come with you or would want you here with me, you made it about us,” she replied. He had made it about them because he hadn’t thought of her at all.
Clark briefly closed his eyes and exhaled a deep breath. “You’re right, Lois. I’m sorry. Do you want to come to Las Vegas with us?”
With us?
“No,” Lois said, straightening her shoulders. She didn’t want to be invited like this. He should want to take her on a trip, not be forced to do so. Was it too much to ask for to want her boyfriend to automatically think of her when contemplating an impromptu trip to Las Vegas? “You weren’t wrong when you said I have things to clean up here in Metropolis.” She relaxed her stance enough to place a hand on his chest and felt the slight tension her touch brought him. Something had changed him. She only wished she knew what. It couldn’t have just been the exposure to Kryptonite. He had lived through that before. “Possibly you’re right, Clark. Maybe we do need some time apart to think about what we really do want.”
Perhaps some time apart would remind him why he didn’t want to be away from her.
He placed his hand over hers. “I want you, Lois. That will never change.”
Lois closed her eyes and leaned her head against his chest, wishing she could believe him. He was saying most everything she wanted to hear, saying all the right words about loving her, but something in his tone rang hollow, as if he were trying to convince himself that she was really what he wanted.
She missed him already as if he were already gone.
“I love you,” she whispered, so softly she didn’t know if he could hear her without his extra sharp hearing.
“I really do like this haircut, Lois,” Clark said, and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll call you tonight, and give you the number of the hotel. I promise you, when I get back, we’ll have that talk.”
Lois wouldn’t be holding her breath. Promises weren’t to be believed until followed through upon. She had learned enough from men to know that. She had hoped that Clark would be different. It turned out he was an All American Male after all. The real reason it's important to read the FDK thread.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Pulitzer
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I love the ending of this part. It is nice to have Lois and Clark openly sharing their love. I guess a lot of people know of it already, but they are now not hiding it from anyone. Not quite as good as when they kiss on the floor of the newsroom at the end of one of the season 3 episodes (I can't remember for sure which one) but almost.
John Pack Lambert
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Oh my. I think I might have missed something Never put off until tomorrow,what you hopefully don't need to learn today? Like Lois putting off learning how to sexually please her future former husband? Or is that former future husband? Um... to have a conversation with out 4 other guys overhearing. You’re not suggesting they might eavesdrop, do you? JACK: He doesn’t have *cable*! Because if you become a drunk, then you have a better excuse of why the woman of your dreams considers you a lunkhead? Oh this Clark! Always such a riot! Um... Check the internet? Um... do research?
JIMBO: Man, I'm soooo on this assignment! Is Jimbo old enough for this assignment? At the liquor store: Honestly, I have a permission slip from my boss! Oh, dear. Have I gone into overkill mode? So, you've met our resident lunkhead, have you? Quote: That why she sneaked into his stuff? To return the favor? That doesn’t sound like a very healthy relationship. I'm sorry, Lex's stuff? No, because like Pandora, she's naturally curious. And like Pandora, she likes to play with poisonous things and then acts surprised when the stuff explodes forth into the world? CLARK: Um... /looking around/ You could share the patio with me. It's summer and quite warm at night. So, he wouldn’t kick out his male houseguests for a chance to get with Lois? CLARK: I live with Superman. /Why Cat got Page 1 headlines, occasionally/ LOIS: What do you mean that's Page 1 above the fold stuff? SUPERMAN: There is no evidence that Ms. Lane and I are involved romantically. In fact, she's dating her partner Clark Kent. DIRT DIGGER: Lois Lane, triple-timing Metropolis! Something like that. Good thing Cat was home, huh, or he might have ended up in bed with Jimmy. CLARK: In my defense, Superman wasn’t feeling too well. LOIS: Cat already has ownership of a man. PHIL: Excuse me? MAYSON: Does that mean that Clark is a free agent? CAT: Polyandry is a thing! Quote: So, that means when she figures out that they prefer hookers to be under 30? So, in 4 years? LOIS: Did the EW just imply that I’m a hooker? Quote: He doesn’t sound very Stern to me. Um... canon dialogue, and I don't believe either Jimmy, Jimbo , or Perry were adopted by Franklin Stern. I was actually referring to the lack of Stern-ness in the dialogue. But it’s been a while so I’m not sure when the idea of rescuing the Planet came up You’re welcome! So, Perry doesn't have friends at other newspapers who would publish Lois's exclusive if she had one? Like at the Star. The Digger? The Whisper? No, Michael, not literally. CLARK: Actually, from what I've observed from my experience as Lois's partner, many men are out to literally burn her. I'm just not one of them. Thanks, Clark! @EW: See, honest mistake there. What if Clark weren't referring to Lois... Clark not referring to something-Lois in any of his talks? :rotlol: It wouldn't be a VirginiaR story without the corny jokes and puns though. It’s like a Tank haircut, huh? BENDER: Bribery is illegal at that price! Perhaps he was driving by and thought he'd dash Perry's hopes completely. Naughty Writer! Love the analogy... Metaphor... Thanks! I always get those two confused. Umm…let’s see…the first one uses identical relationships to explain behavior, like Lois is to criminals like honey is to flies. The second one uses colorful likeness to illustrate a point. So…metaphor, I’d say Also, did you know that a sunflower keeps growing continuously to keep the head pointed at the sun the whole day long? CLARK: Funny! Umm…Me…Lois…umm…that would be an analogy to sunflowers! instead? But he's not holding on to her. JIMMY: Well, maybe a little funny. CLARK: No, it's not. LOIS: No, it's not. It is! Quote: Or does he want to make a tour of the Vegan cathouses? JIMMY: I, personally, prefer the ones where they eat meat. What a fabulous D.E.! Funny, that’s the exact same thing Lex thought when he went and got himself a Lois. Maybe it means something else in the other dimension. CLARK: Yeah, it does. It means that the guy isn’t up to the ladies standards. At least, that’s what it always meant when my highschool girlfriends broke up with me. Quote: Too bad he can’t chose ‘flight’ as an option, right now, huh? CLARK: What is Michael talking about? My flight to Vegas isn't for a few hours. Quote: ER: /confused and checks inter-dimensional dictionary/ LOIS: I knew it! "Lunkhead: See Clark Kent or Kryptonian." Quote: Yep, he’s so getting sliced and diced. So, Lois doesn't want honesty? LOIS: Of course I do. As long as it’s from other people. And doesn’t hurt me. You sure you don't mean "barffy"? Quote: LEX: Passed over opportunities. There's always next time. But he’s toxic slime! LOIS: I was thinking one button at a time. CLARK: Pull my teeth! Pull my teeth! So, is she referring to her blouse or his shirt? LOIS: Umm…Doesn’t the ER know I’m all for equal opportunities. So long as I come out ahead of course. So, you're thinking I shouldn't have cut the end of the scene? But this part was getting long. Don't worry it will show up in 182. The real reason it's important to read the FDK thread. You mean besides the funny alt-world story that’s happening over here? Michael
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John: Hey, John! Thanks for popping in! I love the ending of this part. Gasp! It is nice to have Lois and Clark openly sharing their love. I guess a lot of people know of it already, but they are now not hiding it from anyone. Not quite as good as when they kiss on the floor of the newsroom at the end of one of the season 3 episodes (I can't remember for sure which one) but almost. It's been so long I haven't any idea which episode that could have been. How many people know? Shall we count them? Have been told (i.e. people Lois and Clark have told): The Kents, Carlos, Perry, Phil Have figured it out: Perry (who knows which came first with that guy ), Cat (ditto), Jimbo, Jimmy, Henderson, Bobby Bigmouth, Star, Batman (because he's Batman). People who may or may not have figured things out: Lucy, Uncle Mike, Sam Lane, Nigel, the rest of Metropolis (okay, I was just joking about them). Totally clueless: Ellen Lane, Mrs. Arnold (but only because Lois hasn't talked about Clark enough with her), Lex Luthor -- before he died (LEX: What! ), the rest of Metropolis ("Did you hear? Lois Lane was cheating on Lex Luthor with her old writing partner at the Daily Planet, and THAT's why Luthor jumped." -- Maybe it's a little to early to be open about her relationship with Clark.), and Clark (Okay, that last one was just for fun and giggles). Does that clarify things?
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Oh my. I think I might have missed something You did? Michael? /lifts up hem of FDK/ I don't think so. Like Lois putting off learning how to sexually please her future former husband? Or is that former future husband? CLARK: Lois can call me what ever she wants. LEX: I believe he was talking about me. CLARK: She doesn't want you. You’re not suggesting they might eavesdrop, do you? JACK: He doesn’t have *cable*! JIMBO: Okay, Denny, shift the tinfoil rabbit ears to the right just a little, little, no left, terrific, no wait, go back, now hold up your left arm, perfect! Now, don't let go. JIMMY: That's pretty entertaining. JACK: As entertaining as my boot in your butt. JIMMY: Jimbo, it's your turn to be the antenna. Because if you become a drunk, then you have a better excuse of why the woman of your dreams considers you a lunkhead? Oh this Clark! Always such a riot! CLARK: /points at EW/ That's all her. I'm not a lunkhead. LOIS: Hold on, /checks purse/ I have a photo of one right here. /hands it over to Clark/ CLARK: Lois, this isn't a photo. It's a mirror. Is Jimbo old enough for this assignment? At the liquor store: Honestly, I have a permission slip from my boss! Jimbo and Jimmy are both over the age of 21. ER: That why she sneaked into his stuff? To return the favor? That doesn’t sound like a very healthy relationship. EW: I'm sorry, Lex's stuff? No, because like Pandora, she's naturally curious. ER: And like Pandora, she likes to play with poisonous things and then acts surprised when the stuff explodes forth into the world? YOUNG LOIS: You want me to play with a tea party set? Really, Mom? SAM: Don't be ridiculous, dear. Give her a chemistry set. She doesn't need to cook. YOUNG LOIS: Daddy! SAM: Too bad she's a girl though. So, he wouldn’t kick out his male houseguests for a chance to get with Lois? CLARK: I live with Superman. You might have noticed that Clark isn't in a big rush to consummate his relationship with his partner. SUPERMAN: There is no evidence that Ms. Lane and I are involved romantically. In fact, she's dating her partner Clark Kent. DIRT DIGGER: Lois Lane, triple-timing Metropolis! LOIS: /sets down tabloid/ Geeze, with all the whoopie they say I'm having it's amazing I get any reporting or sleeping accomplished. CLARK: You sleep? EW: Something like that. Good thing Cat was home, huh, or he might have ended up in bed with Jimmy. CLARK: In my defense, Superman wasn’t feeling too well. JIMMY: /on the phone/ Inspector Henderson, I'd like to change my plea. I did bomb the Daily Planet. Please pick me up immediately. LOIS: Cat already has ownership of a man. PHIL: Excuse me? MAYSON: Does that mean that Clark is a free agent? CAT: Polyandry is a thing! PHIL: Excuse me, Sweet um's. Is that the one where the husband gets more than one wife? CAT: No. ER: So, that means when she figures out that they prefer hookers to be under 30? EW: So, in 4 years? LOIS: Did the EW just imply that I’m a hooker? No, I implied that she wouldn't apply until she wasn't qualified for the hooking aspect of the job. I was actually referring to the lack of Stern-ness in the dialogue. But it’s been a while so I’m not sure when the idea of rescuing the Planet came up When Perry went an begging Darth Stern to buy the Daily Planet, spend a bunch of money fixing it up, and then sell at his earliest convenience to the next criminal on the block. EW: So, Perry doesn't have friends at other newspapers who would publish Lois's exclusive if she had one? ER: Like at the Star. The Digger? The Whisper? I was thinking more like, the Gotham Gazette, The New York Times, The Washington Post. EW: What if Clark weren't referring to Lois... ER: Clark not referring to something-Lois in any of his talks? /finds this extremely funny/ CLARK: EW: It wouldn't be a VirginiaR story without the corny jokes and puns though. ER: /shakes head 'no'/ It’s like a Tank haircut, huh? Let's see, what other plot devices to I use? Mixed up idioms, dreams implying reality, the curse, alt-Clark, 25+ Parts for a short story, 75+ parts for a long story, 150+ parts for a story that will never end I'm sure there's other things, like witty banter or a happily ever after endings or something, but I forget. Umm…let’s see…the first one uses identical relationships to explain behavior, like Lois is to criminals like honey is to flies. The second one uses colorful likeness to illustrate a point. So…metaphor, I’d say Also, did you know that a sunflower keeps growing continuously to keep the head pointed at the sun the whole day long? CLARK: Funny! Umm…Me…Lois…umm…that would be an analogy to sunflowers! Let me get this straight. A metaphor is like a simile of an analogy? Okay, now I'm just confusing myself. I couldn't resist. Too tempting. Funny, that’s the exact same thing Lex thought when he went and got himself a Lois. Are you saying that I collect commas like Lex collects Loises? LOIS: What does she mean 'Loises' as in more than one? I'm unique. CLARK: CLARK: Yeah, it does. It means that the guy isn’t up to the ladies standards. At least, that’s what it always meant when my highschool girlfriends broke up with me. Alt-Clark didn't really date in high school. Sorry. CLARK: Me, too. RACHEL: I don't understand why Clark can't see me. LOIS: Of course I do. As long as it’s from other people. And doesn’t hurt me. CLARK: So, you'd rather I lie to you instead of tell you the truth? LOIS: Men! LEX: Passed over opportunities. EW: There's always next time. ER: But he’s toxic slime! LEX: Paging Dr. Kelly! LOIS: I was thinking one button at a time. CLARK: Pull my teeth! Pull my teeth! ER: So, is she referring to her blouse or his shirt? LOIS: Umm…Doesn’t the ER know I’m all for equal opportunities. So long as I come out ahead of course. It's been a while, but I think she was referring to her shirt. She knows what's under his. CLARK: So, she doesn't want to see my bare chest? CAT: Oh, honey, she knows the quickest way to get you to take off your own clothes is to start taking off hers. CLARK: Was that a siren? I'm sure I heard a siren. I better check it out, you know, just in case someone needs Superman or something. LOIS: I thought you didn't have any powers. CLARK: You mean besides the funny alt-world story that’s happening over here? Yes, besides that.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Originally Posted By: Darth Michael Oh my. I think I might have missed something blush huh You did? Michael? /lifts up hem of FDK/ I don't think so. I…um…kind of skipped replying to FDK-FDK 181 in favor of FDK-FDK 182 CLARK: Lois can call me what ever she wants. LEX: I believe he was talking about me. CLARK: She doesn't want you. LEX: I don’t see the connection. LOIS: That’s because you’re still connected with the pretentious cobble stones in front of your tower. JIMBO: Okay, Denny, shift the tinfoil rabbit ears to the right just a little, little, no left, terrific, no wait, go back, now hold up your left arm, perfect! Now, don't let go. JIMMY: That's pretty entertaining. So…they don’t even have a TV set, huh? JACK: As entertaining as my boot in your butt. JIMMY: Jimbo, it's your turn to be the antenna. Funny anecdote: I just recently used a regular stick antennae about 8 inch long to get great TV reception via digital terrestrial signal. I was quite surprised about that. LOIS: Hold on, /checks purse/ I have a photo of one right here. /hands it over to Clark/ CLARK: Lois, this isn't a photo. It's a mirror. Jimbo and Jimmy are both over the age of 21. /eyes Jimbo suspiciously/ According to Wiki, he was born in Sept. 1974, so…not even 19 at the time Lex decided to jump the gun. ER: And like Pandora, she likes to play with poisonous things and then acts surprised when the stuff explodes forth into the world?
EW: YOUNG LOIS: You want me to play with a tea party set? Really, Mom? SAM: Don't be ridiculous, dear. Give her a chemistry set. She doesn't need to cook. YOUNG LOIS: Daddy! SAM: Too bad she's a girl though. That sure is one interpretation of what I wrote You might have noticed that Clark isn't in a big rush to consummate his relationship with his partner. A point of great concern to Lois, one might add. LOIS: My electronic nanny always told me that the good ones are either gay or married. CLARK: I’m not gay! ZARA: ARI: Lex is married! LOIS: /sets down tabloid/ Geeze, with all the whoopie they say I'm having it's amazing I get any reporting or sleeping accomplished. CLARK: You sleep? JIMMY: /on the phone/ Inspector Henderson, I'd like to change my plea. I did bomb the Daily Planet. Please pick me up immediately. BILL: See, WOOLFE? All you have to do is put them into penitentiary institutions without romantically inclined inmates and you’ll get a guilty plea out of them eventually. PHIL: Excuse me, Sweet um's. Is that the one where the husband gets more than one wife? CAT: <herself, after midnight feedings for six months> No. LOIS: I don’t think that kind is legal. /takes her husbands Clark and Kal-El home/ Funny aside: Word’s grammar check thinks it’s wrong to use a pronoun and the plural form of ‘husband’ in concert. When Perry went an begging Darth Stern to buy the Daily Planet, spend a bunch of money fixing it up, and then sell at his earliest convenience to the next criminal on the block. Now, that’s not nice! I'm sure there's other things, like witty banter or a happily ever after endings or something, but I forget. You do realize that you need to bring the story to an end to have a happy ending, right? Or have Lois give Clark a massage Let me get this straight. A metaphor is like a simile of an analogy? Okay, now I'm just confusing myself. Are you saying that I collect commas like Lex collects Loises? <is suddenly worried about her muse’s psychological state> LOIS: What does she mean 'Loises' as in more than one? I'm unique. CLARK: <would like to think so but has learned that two Loises are better than one> Dr. KELLY: I was a physician in my country. And now I deal with toxic waste. CLARK: Was that a siren? I'm sure I heard a siren. I better check it out, you know, just in case someone needs Superman or something. LOIS: I thought you didn't have any powers. CLARK: <screams for Superman> Michael
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I…um…kind of skipped replying to FDK-FDK 181 in favor of FDK-FDK 182 You did? Ooops? LEX: /confused/ I don’t see the connection. LOIS: That’s because you’re still connected with the pretentious cobble stones in front of your tower. LEX: /giggle/ Lois said I have stones. LOIS: And rocks for his brains. MEDICAL EXAMINER: Oopps. I thought I got all of those out. So…they don’t even have a TV set, huh? Clark doesn't own one, but when Jimbo moved in he brought the one from his and Jimmy's apartment. Funny anecdote: I just recently used a regular stick antennae about 8 inch long to get great TV reception via digital terrestrial signal. I was quite surprised about that. Congratulations. /eyes Jimbo suspiciously/ According to Wiki, he was born in Sept. 1974, so…not even 19 at the time Lex decided to jump the gun. Wiki must be wrong. In ASU, Jimmy tells Perry that he's only 21. That sure is one interpretation of what I wrote I was going for obscure. EW: You might have noticed that Clark isn't in a big rush to consummate his relationship with his partner. ER: A point of great concern to Lois, one might add. LOIS: My electronic nanny always told me that the good ones are either gay or married. CLARK: I’m not gay! ZARA: /wave/ Um... well. Clark isn't gay, nor is he from this dimension so technically... CARLOS: ZARA: I'm married to a priest? CLARK: No, because he's not Kal-El, but he was in previous life. CARLOS: I don't believe in reincarnation though. ZARA: What am I doing on this stupid planet anyway? ARI: Lex is married! /starts a love parade/ LOIS: I don't see anyone around here who cares. BILL: See, WOOLFE? All you have to do is put them into penitentiary institutions without romantically inclined inmates and you’ll get a guilty plea out of them eventually. What do you think this is, Gotham City? LOIS: I don’t think that kind is legal. /takes her husbands Clark and Kal-El home/ Funny aside: Word’s grammar check thinks it’s wrong to use a pronoun and the plural form of ‘husband’ in concert. I can see that. Many women think having one is bad enough. EW: When Perry went an begging Darth Stern to buy the Daily Planet, spend a bunch of money fixing it up, and then sell at his earliest convenience to the next criminal on the block. ER: Now, that’s not nice! So, that's NOT what happened in canon? EW: I'm sure there's other things, like witty banter or a happily ever after endings or something, but I forget. ER: You do realize that you need to bring the story to an end to have a happy ending, right? I have an outline that is complete. There will be an ending... someday. Were you guys in some kind of hurry or something? Or have Lois give Clark a massage /peep/ CLARK: Does that count as consummation? Because if it does, I'm out. LOIS: /finds 500 y.o. dictionary/ Yes, but only if the *man* finishes is it considered consummation. CLARK: I can work with that. LOIS: You know, I thought you might. CLARK: Would you like a massage? LOIS: As a matter of fact, I would. Dr. KELLY: I was a physician in my country. And now I deal with toxic waste. ARI: But he's rich toxic waste. DR. KELLY:
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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LEX: /giggle/ Lois said I have stones. LOIS: <can’t believe the brass-ones on her former fiancé> And rocks for his brains. MEDICAL EXAMINER: Oopps. I thought I got all of those out. Quote: Funny anecdote: I just recently used a regular stick antennae about 8 inch long to get great TV reception via digital terrestrial signal. I was quite surprised about that. Congratulations. Thank you. I’ve also just recently learned that they will shut down the current TV standard within the next 2 years, making the built-in antenna useless. :rolleyes: Wiki must be wrong. In ASU, Jimmy tells Perry that he's only 21. The trick is that Jimbo’s (actor) two years younger than Jimmy (actor) ZARA: What am I doing on this stupid planet anyway? Quote: ARI: Lex is married! /starts a love parade/ LOIS: I don't see anyone around here who cares. Dr. Kelly: Mrs. Cox: Quote: BILL: See, WOOLFE? All you have to do is put them into penitentiary institutions without romantically inclined inmates and you’ll get a guilty plea out of them eventually. What do you think this is, Gotham City? I said ‘without’. Or are you saying that in Metropolis they’re even opposed to sweating youngsters in perfectly safe prisons? I can see that. Many women think having one is bad enough. So, that's NOT what happened in canon? I didn’t say that. Also, I really don’t remember Were you guys in some kind of hurry or something? ARI: But he's rich toxic waste. DR. KELLY: <has low standards and a love for petri-dishes> Michael
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Thank you. I’ve also just recently learned that they will shut down the current TV standard within the next 2 years, making the built-in antenna useless. :rolleyes: I didn't know that they still made TVs with antennas. EW: Wiki must be wrong. In ASU, Jimmy tells Perry that he's only 21. ER: The trick is that Jimbo’s (actor) two years younger than Jimmy (actor) Jimbo is 6 months younger than Jimmy in Wrong Clark. JIMMY: This is age discrimination! That's what this is! Hollywood. Bah! ARI: Lex is married! /starts a love parade/ LOIS: I don't see anyone around here who cares. Dr. Kelly: /wave/ Mrs. Cox: /wave/ ARI: Sorry, anyone who matters. I said ‘without’. Or are you saying that in Metropolis they’re even opposed to sweating youngsters in perfectly safe prisons? But isn't Gotham City's police known to be more corrupted?
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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I didn't know that they still made TVs with antennas. Oops, meant to write ‘tuner’. /checks timestamp on post/ Okay, that explains it. Brain was already in sleepmode at the time. Anyway, the antenna you can get for a couple of bucks at any electronics store near you. Or you could just buy some antenna cable and let it dangle. Works great to, so long as there aren’t any loops in it. Jimbo is 6 months younger than Jimmy in Wrong Clark. JIMMY: This is age discrimination! That's what this is! Hollywood. Bah! Oh, is this just like when they substitute with a younger actress having a lighter shade of hair who also happens to be more developed in the chestarea? Quote: I said ‘without’. Or are you saying that in Metropolis they’re even opposed to sweating youngsters in perfectly safe prisons? But isn't Gotham City's police known to be more corrupted? Hence the ‘without’ In Gotham he’d have had some... interesting acquaintances while in the joint. Michael
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