Pheromone, My Lovely - Matchmaker Style
Rated PG-13
As always comments are welcome. (ken.janney@kjanney.com)
* * denotes emphasis
< > denotes thoughts
As always comments are welcome. (ken.janney@kjanney.com)
Pheromone, My Lovely - Matchmaker Style 11/12
Previously
Nigel had been waiting for Kent. He knew that he should have some time, because the location of the heist was all the way across town. <Mr. Luthor should have all of the time he needs.> He was surprised when, suddenly, through the glass window he saw Kent looking in and waving. <How did he manage to get here so quickly? Mr. Luthor is not going to like this. Oh, well. He will need to be delayed.> He frowned and watched as Kent then turned and strode through the doors into the lobby.
As he approached, Nigel said, “Ms. Lane stated that you would be delayed. We were not expecting you this soon.”
“I ran into Superman at the robbery and he offered to give me a lift.”
With a quick movement that would rival a slight-of-hand expert, Nigel produced a small caliber automatic. He said, “That is most unfortunate, for you. Mr. Luthor does not wish to be disturbed. I’ve been directed to take you back to the Planet because your presence is not wanted. I’m sorry, but I cannot take no for an answer.”
Unfortunately, for Nigel, Clark was close. With a swift movement Clark pushed against the barrel and slide of Nigel’s weapon, knocking it out of alignment relative to the hammer called being ‘out of battery’ and making the weapon unable to fire. Wrapping his hand around the slide and receiver group he kept the weapon inoperative. Twisting his hand he removed the weapon from Nigel’s grip. As he was doing this he planted his right fist under Nigel’s chin, lifting him a couple of inches into the air. A second later Nigel fell in a heap to the floor, unconscious.
Clark jacked back the slide to eject the round from the breech, locked it open and ejected the magazine. After removing the rounds from the magazine he tossed them into a far corner. They sounded like pebbles being thrown across a road as the skittered across the floor. Then he removed a wooden #2 pencil from his pocket and after jamming it into the breach he broke it off, leaving the end in the breech. Then he put the empty magazine back in the butt, allowed the slide to slam forward and then dropped the useless weapon on Nigel’s ample stomach. To outward appearances the weapon was just as it had been however until the pencil stub was removed it wouldn’t chamber a round. Clark said to the unconscious form, “Sorry, but I’m going up whether you or Lex like it or not.”
Clark turned to the bank of elevators. He pushed a button, but there was no response. He puzzled about this briefly, then sliding his glasses down his nose, examined the plate closely. He noticed a card slot.
Nodding his understanding he turned to Nigel and x-rayed him. Seeing a card in an inner jacket pocket, he reached in and lifted it out.
As he straightened up he heard Lois, faintly, “Clark, where are you? I need you, Clark! Hurry up, will you?”
After sliding the card into the slot he hit the button and the doors slid open. Pulling out the card he entered the car and seeing another slot in the panel, he slid it in and pushed the button for the top floor.
His anxiety increased because of the speed of the elevator. It was an express, but it was still too slow for his liking.
And Now:
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 10
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Lex didn’t hear the elevator and lunged for her again. Lois avoided his grasp by jumping to the side and giving him a snap kick to the knee as he passed. She shouted, “Lex! Have you lost your mind? I’m a married woman!”
Lex howled in pain from the kick. He stumbled and twisted in an attempt to capture her. He was clumsy because of his knee injury and she was able to side-step again. As she did she brought her left fist around and caught him on the right cheek, gouging a track in it with her wedding ring. Lex reached up and touched his cheek, his fingers came away covered with blood. Between that pain and her statement he was shocked to a semblance of sobriety. He stumbled to a halt, groped for a chair for its support because of the kick she had delivered to the side of his knee and said, bewildered, “Married?”
Lois held up her left hand to display her blood-covered wedding ring and said, “Yes, married! I’m married to Clark Kent!” She thought, <I hope it leaves a scar.> She dropped back quickly into a defensive stance.
Just then, Clark exited the private elevator and strode across the floor to stand between Lois and Lex. Looking back and forth between them he saw that Luthor had been the one on the receiving end. <That’s my girl!> He said, in a menacing tone, “I don’t
appreciate men making
passes at
my wife. I’m
warning you, Luthor,
leave … my … wife … alone! If you don’t, I just might not be there to rescue you the next time.”
The look in Kent’s eyes was fierce. Lex had never seen the mild mannered reporter so angry and he quailed inside at his baleful expression. He didn’t know who to fear more, Kent or Lois. Lex was so stunned and even scared, that his knees went weak and he collapsed into the chair he had been holding onto for support.
Clark held out his hand to Lois and in a softer tone said, “Come on Lois, we’re leaving. Goodnight,
Mr. Luthor.”
Luthor watched in despair as hand-in-hand, Lois and Clark walked to the elevator and left. Once the doors had closed behind them, Luthor reached for the bottle of wine and poured a glass. After quaffing it in two swallows he poured more. He didn’t stop until he had finished the bottle, breaking his rule of never drinking alone.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
An hour later the elevator doors opened once again. This time, Nigel came stumbling out, rubbing his jaw, ruefully.
As soon as Lex spotted him he challenged, “I thought I told you to keep Kent away.”
“Begging you pardon, sir, but I tried. I had my gun on him, but unfortunately, I fell prey to an old trick.”
“What trick was that?”
“He jammed the slide back taking the gun out of battery. It wouldn’t fire. Then he … he clipped me. He is stronger than he appears. Must be all of those years, growing up on a farm. He knocked me out.”
Hearing this, Lex turned back to what he had been doing which was flying $1000 bills into a fire on the hearth.
Nigel, concerned at Lex’s melancholy attitude asked, “Sir, is everything all right?”
Lex continued flipping bills into the fire as he replied, “No. Nigel. Something terrible has happened. Something catastrophic.”
Nigel offered, “The collapse of the world market?”
Disconsolately, Lex replied, “No, Nigel. Worse. Far … far worse.” Lex turned from his contemplation of the burning bills and dropped the remaining handful of $1000 bills on a table. Because of his damaged knee he limped over to the balcony and Nigel followed.
Luthor stood, contemplating the cityscape for a few brief moments before he continued, “Not like you, or any other average person perhaps, but in my own strange, and perverted sort of way, I've ... succumbed. I'm in love. Hopelessly, eternally. I'm in love with Lois Lane.”
“Lois Lane, sir? She could be trouble. Are you sure?”
With a rueful shake of his head, Luthor replied, “Yes, I’m sure.”
Nigel tried to mitigate the situation, “It’s the perfume, sir. Your mind is clouded.”
Luthor limped over to a chair and with a wince of pain, collapsed onto it, “No, Nigel. I’m
really in love. I’m in love with a married woman.”
“Married, Sir?”
Shaking his head in mortification, Lex replied, “Yes, Nigel, married. Married to that country bumpkin, Kent.”
“Begging your pardon, sir; when has that ever been a problem in the past?”
As Luthor contemplated Nigel’s question he started to smile and it wasn’t a pretty smile.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Miranda had not been happy with the results of her latest encounter with Lex. Her plan to use ‘Revenge’ on him had been a miserable failure. She kept going over it in her mind trying to determine just what had gone wrong. She had seen him walk right into the cloud of mist from the atomizer. He had even actually reacted to the scent, slightly. Was it possible that he was just so driven to be in total control that he was able to overcome the effects? Perhaps she should try again, using a higher concentration. Surely he couldn’t resist a ten percent solution.
Perhaps it wasn’t his rigid control that had defeated her potion. Perhaps it was his metabolic rate. Maybe the effects had simply been delayed. If that were the case then if she had been able to remain with him longer she might have realized her goal, but how long would have been long enough? Minutes … hours?
Then the thought hit her. What if it had been hours and it had kicked in while
she was there with him? He would be even more infatuated with her than he had been previously. “Grrrrrrrr.” She growled at that thought in imitation of Drau. Something would need to be done about this and soon, before she lost her last chance with Lex.
Drau had heard her when she growled and approaching her started rubbing against her legs in affection. Miranda bent down and picked Drau up and absent-mindedly started stroking her silky fur. The comfort of her cat was a poor substitute for Lex and the more she thought about it the more jealous and angry she became.
She came to the conclusion that she would have her revenge on Luthor, but she would have it on the rest of the people of Metropolis as well, and especially, Lois Lane. She was now determined, the only problem was how.
A copy of the Planet lay open on her counter. She realized that it was the same one she had taken from Luthor’s office the other day. An article by her arch enemy caught her eye. The headline said, “Fruit Fly Spraying to Continue.”
Miranda read the entire article and a plan started to form in her mind. Putting Drau down, and taking a pair of scissors from a drawer she cut out the article and tacked it up over her workbench. As the full plan started to crystallize she began to smile.
After arranging some carboys on her workbench she went over to a locked cabinet which she opened by taking the key from a chain around her neck and started removing bottles. Each was labeled – Revenge – 100% solution. She lined the bottles up on her workbench near the carboy. Once she had all of the bottles placed on the bench she started opening them one at a time and pouring the contents into the carboy using a funnel.
A few drops spilled down the side of one of the bottles and Drau, displaying a cat’s normal curiosity sauntered over and licked it up.
Attracted by Drau’s meow, Miranda picked up the cat and said, “Not now, Drau. That’s not for you.”
Miranda carried Drau over and placed her into a pet carrier. Turning back to her task she was shocked when she heard Drau literally scream and then heard a rending crash and the snap of metal breaking. Turning around, Miranda saw that the front door of metal bars of the animal carrier has been opened as if by an explosion inside and Drau was nowhere to be seen.
Suddenly, there was another rending crash as one of the back windows was shattered and then Miranda heard Drau’s mating howl. Looking down and seeing what Drau had been licking at, she realized what it was and knew just what had happened. She spoke to herself, “That should do nicely!” A few seconds later she was singing, “Love is in the air.”
Finished with her task, Miranda turned to the article and as if it were her adversary she picked up the scissors and stabbed it, right through the “Lois Lane” byline.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The next morning things and people were back to normal in the newsroom. Even Jimmy seemed to have recovered from the exposure; at least he wasn’t trying to borrow money to buy presents for April any longer.
Perry called for the morning staff meeting and everyone was filing in, Lois and Clark near the rear of the pack. Everyone had a cup of coffee in hand and some were still acting hung-over.
Over her shoulder, Lois said, sotto voce, “I still can’t believe that Lex acted that way. It was almost like he had been exposed to that stuff Miranda was spraying around.”
“That would only make sense if there was more to their relationship than Lexcorp funding her research. She would have had to be there with him.”
Jimmy interrupted their discussion by entering and handing Lois a note. “This was just delivered for you.”
“Thanks, Jimmy,” she said, automatically then asked, “Hey, how are you doing?”
With a self-conscious smile, he replied, “Back to normal. Just plain old Jimmy.”
Lois opened the note and read it. She showed it to Clark. It read, “Dear Lois, if you want to know everything about 'Revenge’, I will speak to you alone, woman to woman. Meet me at Metropolis airport." Clark looked up at her with a question in his eyes.
Lois shrugged and said, “Something must have happened.”
“I wonder why the airport. Could she be planning to leave?”
Just then, Perry entered and sat at the head of the table. As he sat, he was shuffling through a sheaf of papers that he had carried in.
Rehalia entered to empty the trash. Seeing her enter a hush fell over the room. All eyes were on Perry and Rehalia. When she entered, not a word was exchanged, but they did exchange polite nods as she went about her business.
Clark leaned over to Perry and said, “I assume that everything is …”
“She dropped the lawsuit.”
“And Alice?”
Perry replied, “Let me back in. On a trial basis.” Looking around, hoping that Lois wasn’t listening in he continued, “Son, don't ever beg a woman to take you back. Chances are, they will.”
Clark chuckled and said, “I don’t plan to do anything that would make Lois kick me out.”
Feeling that he needed to reestablish his ascendancy he looked around at all of the coffee drinking, donut eating staffers and said, “What is this, the Betty Crocker bake off? Let's get started. Lois, thanks for the fruit fly re-write. Now, you and Clark are working on that pheromone thing, right?”
Jimmy was moving to a seat when he heard the elevator arrive. He looked up to see April exit and head for Cat’s desk. Sighing to himself and feeling like a condemned man headed to his doom, he stood back up and moved toward the door.
Perry stopped him and asked, “Where in Sam Hill do you think you’re going?”
Jimmy shrugged and inclining his head in April’s direction said, “I gotta go, Chief. I gotta talk to her.”
Perry was irate, but Jimmy completely ignored him when he said, “Not on my time you don’t.”
As Jmmy exited, Perry exploded, “Jimmy! Blast that kid.”
The marriage to Clark was still new and Lois still resented all of those times that Cat had tried to hit on Clark. He had reassured her over and over that nothing had happened between them, but Lois could still be a little catty where it came to Catherine Grant. Trying to mask it as research for the article they were working on she turned to her favorite adversary and asked, “How much of that stuff did you get sprayed with? You became pretty insatiable, even for, well,
you.
Cat’s expression was one of total mystification as she replied, “I don't know what you're talking about. I
never got sprayed.” She looked around to see if she could achieve enlightenment, but getting none, said, “But, I know a good excuse when I hear one.”
Perry wanted to start the meeting, but just couldn’t help launching into an Elvis anecdote, “You know, this whole experience reminds me when Elvis first laid eyes on Priscilla. She was only a girl, but …” seeing Jimmy out of the corner of his eye he was distracted and said, “Whoa Nellie...”
Jimmy was approaching April, rather diffidently. As he approached, he said, “April, I wanted to explain …”
April retorted, “No explanation necessary. I meet creeps like you every day.”
Jimmy interrupted her with a gesture and said, “But that's the point. I'm not a creep. I'm Jimmy Olsen, would-be famous photojournalist. All around nice guy. All around ... nobody. I'm sorry I came on to you like that. I wasn't ... myself.”
Jimmy was taken aback by her response as she started to smile at him. She said, “You know, it’s too bad.”
“What?”
April stood and approached Jimmy as she said, “Well, for a nobody, you’re kina cute.”
The staff meeting had been interrupted by what was happening and the staff had poured out of the conference room to watch. April saw them over Jimmy’s shoulder. Making up her mind, she grabbed the front of Jimmy’s shirt with both hands and pulled him toward herself. She planted her lips on his in a slow sensual kiss, lingering just a bit to make sure that the crowd would see. When she released him, Jimmy was in an altered state of consciousness and just stood there with a dreamy expression on his face. April looked over at Cat and said, “Later,” picked up her bag and headed for the elevator.
When Jimmy finally came to he had a dumbfounded grin on his face and when he turned the staff erupted into applause and cheers.
They all returned to the interrupted meeting with Perry clapping Jimmy on the back as he passed him.
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