January, 2009
“Don’t worry about Lana, and don’t forget about me.”
Lois’ words echoed in Clark’s brain the rest of the day as he tried to wrap his mind around the idea of Lois visiting from the future. After she had left, Clark had gone into the barn to do some work and think.
As he chopped firewood, he kept thinking over his past with Lana and felt like he had dodged an emotional bullet by not getting involved with her again. Still, guilt tugged at him, because he felt like he owed her one last shot at making things work. But at the same moment he thought that, he pictured Lois’ hurt expression, seeing him and Lana together.
And there was something about Lois that drew him to her. While Lana always got Clark’s heart racing, Lois was a calm steadiness that he hadn’t realized he needed.
And he had almost thrown all of that away…
Suddenly, a whoosh of wind blew by him, leaving an envelope on the log before him. Of course it was from Lana. Clark sighed, setting down his axe as he stared at the cream-colored envelope with his name scrawled across it in Lana’s handwriting.
Finally, knowing that she didn’t have the power to hurt him anymore, Clark opened the letter:
“Dearest Clark,
You will always be my first true love, as complicated and messy as that was for us. I realize that we often hid from each other, and for my part in that, I’m sorry. But I’m not sorry for the time we spent in love together, Clark.
Perhaps I was a little rash, hoping we could save the world together. Part of me wants to believe it is still possible… But I know better now than to believe in foolish dreams. Both you and Lex taught me that, though in completely different ways.
The power suit will stay with me forever, and I had hoped that you would, too. But, perhaps there is a bigger purpose for me out there, and perhaps it is meant to be that it won’t be with you, as much as it saddens me to admit it.
I’m leaving Smallville… no, let me be honest. I’m leaving the US. Despite some consequences of having gone, I had really enjoyed Paris. I’m going back there… to see if I can help others who are in need.
I was wrong before, Clark. I am a distraction – a part of your past that I guess won’t be part of your future. Though I do hope to see you again someday…
No bitter feelings, though my tears do wet this page as I write.
Change the world, Clark. I know you can.
Love always,
Lana.”
Clark read the letter twice, feeling that she was finally setting him free. His love for Lana may have been real, or it may have been just a teenage boy’s fantasy of what love could be.
Clark took the letter upstairs to the loft and found his journal, where he kept odds and ends that reminded him of good times. Lana was a bittersweet memory to him, but he was content with that. He had learned a lot about himself from her, and about what he wasn’t okay with. But she still meant something to him, even though those feelings would likely fade… were already fading.
~L&C~
After using the Legion ring himself a few weeks later, Clark had seen, once more, a side of Lois that surprised him and endeared him. She stood by him through Linda Lake’s antics, and had accepted his secret with an open mind. She had been willing to fight for him, and yet he had been the coward and decided that turning back the clock was the only way to restore sanity.
Yet Lois kept haunting his thoughts. Future Lois had given him hope that there might be a future with her someday. But that was never going to happen if Clark kept avoiding her. This time when he set the clock back, he made sure he was on time to pick her up.
Rain was pouring down, just like the first time around. Clark collected Lois’ things, surprised to see her luggage was sturdier with the time jump recalling how its contents had spilled out onto the street before. Lois ran up ahead of him to get cover under the Daily Planet entrance. “ Some things never change. I've been gone a month, and you still drive in the granny lane,” she tossed back playfully over her shoulder.
Clark smiled, seeing for the first time that her teasing actually held a deeper affection. “You're welcome for the ride, Lois. Did I mention I missed your ongoing commentary?”
She turned to him once they were safely out of the rain. “No, actually, and aside from asking me what the speed limit was, you barely said a word on the way home... or since I've been gone, for that matter, unless you count the three 10-second voicemails.”
Clark nodded, knowing he had been trying to find a way to bring up what had almost happened before she left. “Lois, you know, after the wedding, things got a little crazy,” he began.
Lois chuckled. “Things got a little crazy before all hell broke loose. Let's face it. Or --or we could not face it and just forget that it ever almost happened,” she said, back pedaling quickly.
He stared at her a moment, almost surprised to see the hope in her eyes. He had so much to say to her, to try and see if what he had almost felt with future Lois was real…
Clark glanced around them at all the activity going on, knowing this was neither the time nor the place. “I think it's a pretty complicated conversation, Lois.”
Lois nodded, accepting Clark’s point. “We don't have to overanalyze anything now. I'm gonna work off my jet lag later on tonight at the cafe. You want to come by for a coffee, cool. If not, let's just say I get it,” she said breezily, though it looked like she was holding her breath in anticipation of his answer.
Clark nodded, hope surging through him. This was it. This was their shot, however hidden it was in a ‘friendly coffee date’. “Okay,” he said simply, though the word carried more weight than he could share with Lois at the moment.
“Okay,” Lois answered, nodding with a slow smile. “See you then. “ Then she abruptly turned, waving her arms as if to brush aside any seriousness of the prospect of a coffee date with Clark. “Or not. Or whatever. I'm going to work.”
As she stomped off towards her desk, Clark smiled to himself. His Lois was back, and it was about time he made something happen between them.
~L&C~
PRESENT
Lois sat with Joel at Watchtower, marveling at her son. He seemed unscathed by their little adventure through time, and part of her was relieved that nothing had changed due to her little interferences in the time line. That Legion ring should come with a warning label, though. She told Clark that morning that he should lock it in its own lead box, especially with a soon-to-be toddler in the house.
Joel was starting to pull himself up, and was currently working on standing, holding onto the sofa Lois was sitting on. She smiled down at him. “You’re getting to be a big boy, yes you are,” she said proudly.
“He’ll be walking before you know it,” Chloe commented, watching them from across the room.
“I know… and he will definitely have some if not all of Clark’s powers. He’s gonna be a handful.”
“Well, you two can handle it, I’m sure.”
Joel made some wobbly steps towards his mother, smiling the whole time. Then he suddenly lost his balance and fell, hitting his head on the table. Lois leaned down to pick him up, but it didn’t even faze him. She checked his head and kissed it where he had bumped it, but didn’t see any injury, so she set him up against the sofa again so he could give it another try.
Lois looked up to see Chloe watching everything carefully. “You think he didn’t feel it because--?”
Lois bit her lip. “It’s a good thing though, right? If he has Clark’s powers?”
Chloe nodded, though she didn’t look convinced. “I just think you guys are going to be in for a lot of challenges ahead… “
Lois shrugged. “Clark’s parents did it. And they had no idea at first what Clark was capable of.”
“True… but as far as I know, Clark didn’t start displaying anything super until his teen years. All I’m saying is that it’s going to be a challenge. Not impossible.” Chloe gave Lois a sidelong smile. “But I know how you like challenges.”
Lois grinned in return. “Yep. Sure do… Speaking of challenges, how was our absence explained at the Planet?”
“I think Clark had a story about Joel being sick… but don’t worry. Clark covered all your bases. I’m sure everything will be back to normal come Monday.”
Suddenly, a whoosh of wind was felt through Watchtower, heralding Clark’s entrance.
“Hey there,” he said, coming over to greet his family. “What’s this? Walking already?”
“Not quite yet, Smallville. But definitely getting there,” she said, leaning up to give him a quick kiss. She suddenly had a flashback of being back in time, greeting Oliver. She felt slightly nauseous, as guilt rose up in her.
“Everything okay?” Clark asked, noticing her discomfiture.
She forced a smile. “Right as rain.”
Clark turned to Chloe, but took Lois’ hand. “Do you mind watching Joel for a few hours? I want to take Lois somewhere.”
“Uh, sure. I got to be out of here by 10:30 though. Will you be back by then?”
“Yes, I promise,” he said, then he picked Lois up in his arms and whooshed her out of Watchtower.
~L&C~
Clark landed them at the barn, setting Lois gently down on her feet. She could see the loft was lit up with candles and slowly followed Clark up the stairs.
“What in the world is all of this?” she asked, glancing around at the tea lights and a small table in the center of the room, set for dinner.
He took her hand and pulled her close to him. “I missed you,” he said simply.
She leaned in to hug him, and thought for a moment before she spoke. “I missed you, too. But not in the same way… I missed this. The closeness we have.” She pulled out of his arms to look at him, but still held onto him. “Clark, there were so many missteps in our past… and it was such a journey to get here…”
He nodded. “I know…and it’s weird, but I sort of have memories of running into present you, in the past.”
She looked at him. “You do? Did I—change anything?”
He shrugged. “I don’t think so… I mean, we are here now, and so is Joel. So whatever you did, everything turned out okay…”
She sighed in relief and laid her head on his shoulder once more. “I cheated on you, Clark,” she finally mumbled.
He pulled away to see her face. “What? What do you mean, Lois?”
Lois stepped fully out of his arms and crossed her own defensively. “I totally didn’t mean to… it’s just that one of the jumps through time… I ended up at Ollie’s loft, during the time we were dating… and he kissed me – and I let him,” she admitted, sounding miserable. “I thought all those feelings were behind me, and in a lot of ways they are. But – it was like really being back there with him again. And it scared me – that I could feel that way. I know what’s in my heart, that I love you, Clark. But why did I let myself respond to Oliver like that?”
Clark stared at her a long moment, and then took her hand, pulling her gently to sit down next to him on the sofa. “Lois, it’s not your fault.”
“Of course it is, Clark! I let him lipsmack me!”
“Lois, look at me,” he coaxed gently, and she eventually turned to him. “This is going to be hard to say, but please hear me out.”
She brushed her hair out of her face and nodded.
“Lana,” he said simply, knowing all the complicated emotions that name brought up for both of them. “I haven’t seen her since Chloe’s wedding. But when I kissed her – all those old emotions came rushing back. But it didn’t mean I was in love with her, Lois. Don’t you see?”
When she didn’t answer, he sighed, trying another angle. “Do you hold it against me that I kissed Lana and felt some of those old feelings?”
“But we weren’t together at the time,” she persisted.
“No. But I was thinking of being with you,” he admitted.
“You—you were?” she asked, sounding surprised at this.
He moved closer to her, reaching for her hand. “That almost kiss that we never could seem to talk about? Well, I thought about it –a lot. And your disruption in time – Lois, it saved me from making a huge mistake. And I forgive you for kissing Oliver.”
She squeezed his hand. “I just can’t forgive myself for it. I was just---I don’t know. It was like I was back to being Oliver’s girlfriend again and I just had some unresolved issues that I didn’t even know I had…” She sighed. “Do you really forgive me? Cause if you time traveled and lipsmacked Lana--- I don’t know. I’d have issues…”
“Lois… it’s in the past,” he said, taking her hand with her engagement ring on it. “It’s time we start looking to the future. Our future.”
She stared at the ring a long moment, thinking of what Clark was offering – forgiveness and a future. “And getting married?” she said, feeling excitement rise in her belly.
“Yeah,” he answered softly, moving closer to her.
Her eyes met his, open and vulnerable. “I do love you, Clark. With my whole heart. I love where we are together, where we’ve come. Through every jump in time, all I could think about was coming home to you… to this,” she said softly, leaning into him as their lips finally touched.
~L&C~
2009
Later that night…
Lois hadn’t seen Clark much for the rest of the day. She was pretty certain that the coffee date was a stupid idea. She knew she had feelings for Clark, but she wasn’t sure he was ready to face his own.
Lois ordered a large cappuccino and sat outside the café, preparing herself to be stood up. For most of the morning, she had felt a little hopeful, but as the day dragged on and Clark made himself more scarce, she was certain he was using work as an excuse to avoid her.
“Just get it over with,” she mumbled to herself, waiting for the text that would inevitably come in saying that Clark couldn’t make it.
“Is this seat taken?” came a warm voice from above her.
She glanced up at Clark, trying to tamp down the bubble of hope she felt rise inside her. “No, just saving it for a coworker who seemed to have disappeared all day.”
“Sorry… I—just was catching up with stuff,” Clark said, sounding lame even to Lois’ ears.
“I’ll bet,” she responded, hiding her face in an overly large cappuccino mug.
“Lois, look. I am sorry… “ he began.
“There’s nothing to be sorry about, Smallville. I understand the allure of old flames, trust me,” knowing instantly what he was apologizing about. She eyed him curiously. “So, how did things turn out?”
Clark sighed. “We’ve both moved on.”
“Really?” Lois responded, still skeptical.
Clark nodded. “Really. I guess—uh, well,--“ he floundered around awkwardly.
“How about we start with coffee? And then see where we go from there,” Lois finished for him, willing to let him off the hook since he made the effort to meet her there tonight.
“Okay. Sounds good. Coffee it is…and the rest?”
“Let’s just take it slow. Take our time to figure this whole thing out. Okay, Smallville?”
~L&C~
2008
Oliver stared at the empty space that Lois had just occupied moments ago. He blinked several times and shook his head, trying to understand what had just happened. Then he let out a sigh, sitting down on his sofa.
He knew he wasn’t being fair to Lois… Lois of his present, that is.
She deserved more than he could give her, he knew that.
But he kept dating her – well, the idea that he was dating her – because he wanted to believe that he deserved someone like her. But he kept running away, perhaps knowing deep down that Lois wasn’t the one for him.
Lois had said there was someone for him in the future… could he trust that? Could he let Lois go, hoping that what she had told him was true?
He wanted to believe her… but he knew that his relationship with Lois would run its course. He wasn’t looking forward to the inevitable goodbye, but he wasn’t ready to be the man she needed. Deep down, perhaps he had known that since he met her.
Still, it didn’t mean he wouldn’t fight for the chance to be with her. It was just that his alter ego kept getting in the way…
And if he told her the truth?
Future Lois seemed to get it, but the woman he was dating today? She was obsessed with bringing down the masked vigilante, Green Arrow. It would devastate her to learn the truth about him now…
Besides, would it help his chances of being the one for her if she knew?
Oliver didn’t think so… not the way she had looked when she talked about Clark. There was something special there, deeper than he had ever dared to go with anyone, and that was something he envied.
“She’ll surprise you. But she’s your match.” Those words echoed in Oliver’s head… He wondered who Lois could mean. On his best days, he imagined being the kind of man that would marry. Someone like Lois, ideally. But Oliver couldn’t fathom anyone else…
Yet, deep down he didn’t think he deserved her. He was too wrapped up in his work, in Green Arrow. And while he knew he had a larger purpose, he wasn’t ready to really open his heart…
Suddenly his phone buzzed to life. It was a text from Lois. “Still on for tonight?”
Oliver’s finger hovered over the reply key. He didn’t know if he should see her tonight. Not after what had happened… he didn’t know what revealing to Lois what he knew about her future would do. But he knew where they would stand down the road – as friends, not lovers.
He sighed. He didn’t know how much longer he could string her along, not without knowing about Green Arrow, and not after knowing that they ultimately wouldn’t end up together.
But he would let the relationship run its course… he would try not to break her heart, but he’d do his best to protect his own in the process.
“Can’t tonight. Promise I’ll make it up to you.”
Oliver hit send, and felt like a lying fool.
