Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK - Wrong Clark (183/???)

Wrong Place, Wrong Time, Wrong Clark TOC can be found Here

See, there is a method to my madness.

I haven't read anyone else's description of Lex's bedroom, so I thought I would take care of that oversight. Please let me know what you thought. Did I do Lex and his ego justice? Or was the room just a bit too comfy, cozy, and homey for Lex?

Thank you for reading.

I haven't been commenting much lately because life has been busy lately, but I've been reading.

I'm glad that Lois and Clark have both gotten some idea of what the other has gone through the past few days. Lois, especially, needs more empathy and to pay some attention to what's going on with the people around her. She still seems to have no idea what she's done to Clark while she's been pursuing her wild goose chase with Luthor. She abuses him, and he just takes it because he's so obsessively in love with her. (I feel like it should bother me how obsessed he is with her, but you manage to write him that way without making him seem like a creepy stalker. Kudos.)

Shame on Jimmy for leaving out vital information. If Clark hadn't known that Lois had witnessed Lex's death, why would he have known the details? Not cool, Jimmy.

I think that Clark could still use the two days to clear his head and rest before hashing everything out with Lois. He gets boyfriend brownie points for wanting to go back, but he's basically been tortured and could really use some rest before going back for more abuse from Lois.

Oh dear! I completely missed that one

That’s why you should always attach your lips to the hurricanes…mouth.

Remaining alcohol giving him liquid courage?

JIMMY: Prisoner? Her? Had she had control over her daily business taken away from her? Had she been watched 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? Did she have to go to the bathroom without any privacy? Did she have to fend off the unwelcome advances of disgusting creeps? Did she have to do menial jobs far below her paygrade?

She could have moved. She could have carried a gun up into Lex’s penthouse and then moved with Clark to Brazil, gone to confession there, and been wed by a nice priest. Say, this reminds me…

Funny, not 10 years later, people with such an overdeveloped need for recognition would stand in line to live in the Big Brother house. She should be happy to be a trailblazer for her people.

She’s wonderfully consistent, isn’t she?

Would this be like with regular batteries when the contacts oxidize and corrode?

He’s growing a backbone, and she doesn’t like it

CLARK: Being fed by Lois is a great thing!

They did what? Oh boy. Ari won’t be happy to hear that one.

They could always try to revive him, could they not?
Dr. Kelley: Working on it.

Huh. Wouldn’t that constitute a fire hazard?

MARGOT!LOIS: Maybe I should really stop smoking. Or at least, flipping the buds into every corner…

RANDY GOODE: Dagnabit! I so wanted to sell those…
SPENCER SPENCER: I already had dibs!

I wonder if Lex also got rid of their sex tapes…
SPENCER SPENCER: Diiiibs!

Let me guess… mm-dd-1993? The day Superman showed up? The day Lex met Lois? The day Lex decided to make a dishonest woman out of her? The day Lex realized he’d have to make an honest woman out of her first?

Is he referring to the occurrences when Lois allowed Lex to score with her?

He likes being challenged?

Why not just try them all? It’s just 365 combinations. Or is Henderson worried that it might be bobby-trapped. (sic)

Worried he’d have to have Lane arrested for assaulting a police officer?

Wounded pride? See? Had she slept with him on their first outing, this could all have been avoided. She’d just have been another lay to him, not worth a second thought. Even once Superman would have shown a romantic interest, she’d just be seconds for Superman. The blue oaf would have been the joke of the bad-boys club.

Couldn’t she just mention the general specifics to Lex? I’m sure he’d have the details handy.

Umm…?

Oooh! Lex’s dirty home videos?
Mrs. Cox does the dishes.
Mrs. Cox does the laundry.
Mrs. Cox does the floors.
Mrs. Cox does the boss.



LEX: In my defense, it is. I on the other hand, only watch highly cultured productions such as opera and big brother TV shows.

Might have thought the musical to be so beneath him, it would be a fitting insult to Superman?

Yes, he might rather have kept a souvenir from his friend. Such as a photo of Lex and the friend’s wife in bed. Or maybe the friend’s eye balls in a little box?

Maybe he’d an airplane kidnapper?

Maybe he should tell Lois that ever since he’d seen her have carnal relations with her fiancé, he couldn’t sleep unless she held him and stuff?

Since *everyone* knows, huh?
LOIS: Now who’s the galactically stupid one?

So, he made a big doo-doo?

When she was at the MSRF? When she dreamed about what happened to Ralph? When she saw the burned carcass of the Daily Planet?



I wonder if they have enough fuel to get back to Metropolis? Maybe if Clark went to the stewardess and told her that he needed to speak to the pilot so they could discuss a change of their destination? That it was a matter of life and death?

So…really big doo-doo, then?



I know it’s pretty and all…but maybe you could find another home for it?

Has he *met* Lois?

At least hers is elaborate, involves Clark in the shower, Clark naked, and Clark being dressed up as her husband.

So…
LOIS: No, stay in Vegas for those two nights. You know what? Stay as long as you like. And before I forget, it’s not me, it’s you!

One needs space when one has an ego the size of a pregnant Lois Lane?



This could all have been hers. All she had to do was say ‘I do’.

All of this, if she had been a mistress?

He got lots of confidence in his being the fastest draw this side of Suicide Slum, huh?

I wonder how many notches it took to carve all that…

Awww…he’d their marital bed specially prepared for their wedding night! How considerate of him!

LEX: I figured, freshly printed $1000 bills would have been too tacky.

I wonder if the room as a body disposal unit build in. And if Henderson will fit into it..

Well, he’d have to provide some entertainment to his guests, no?

What if Superman were to fly by while Lois was in the bathroom? What if someone built another skyscraper next to Lex’s?

What about traffic helicopters? What about news helicopters?



Oh.





Huh. Superman’s new home? Including some memento-taking equipment?

Maybe she should check if she finds a video labeled ‘Superman’?

Is she actually going to be sympathetic when he comes crawling back?

A wee bit tacky, maybe…

It does make me wonder if Lex might not have been a bit unstable, mentally speaking.

Michael

mrsMxyzptlk:

I'm glad you're still reading. Thanks for checking in and saying 'hi'.

That's what this whole part was about. It starts out with her grumbling about Clark's attitude and ends with the realization of what he must have gone through. While she doesn't know the truth from his lips, I still wanted her to find out. It might not be whole truth or even the correct truth, it's close enough for her to figure out what he's hiding from her.

Yes, it is a fine line which I know alt-Clark sometimes crosses in his obsession to keep Lois safe. One of the most endearing traits of Clark from LnC is his steadfast loyalty to Lois, no matter what she throws at him. I'm glad he's not coming across as too stalkeresque. It was one of the reasons I had him find his backbone and stand up for what HE needed.

Well, Clark HAD told him that he had heard about Lois witnessing Luthor's death. How was Jimmy supposed to know that Clark hadn't heard how closely she witnessed it?

JIMMY:
CLARK: No, I don't think so.

Thanks for your comments.

Darth Michael: Thanks for the comments and making my inbox chime with mail.

You should have seen me and my betas debating the correct spelling of this made up word.

Yeah. That's not much of an option at the moment.

Another reason not to kiss Lois? No, it's been a good 6-8 hours since his last drink.

LOIS: Yes. Me. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

It's been a while since Clark's been to confession?

2004 LUCY: Guess what, Lois! I'm going to be on TV!

In being mad? Pretty much.

LOIS: You were in Las Vegas, that's hundreds of miles from the ocean, Clark. So don't tell me that this white crusty stuff is salt.
CLARK: Um... maybe chlorine?

Canon Lois didn't like it much when Clark sent her for a walk with the mosquitoes either, but in the end she respected him more for standing up to her.

HENDERSON: My hand?!

Oh, sorry, I thought you said "feeding Lois". Never mind.

Hounding = sending the dogs after him until he does something stupid like jump off his balcony.

LOIS: Nah. Let's leave dead creeps dead.

It was a fire safe room. No fire could get in and no fire could get out. I wanted to explain what Lex was doing at his computer before he jumped.

TERI!LOIS: It wasn't me!
MARGOT!LOIS: What? Your Lex was sexier than my Lex.

Perhaps it was to erase the trail of the outgoing emails sent to these magazines.

LOIS: I haven't had sex with him.

All good guesses.

In this line, no.

So, it's a possibility. Maybe it was the first time Superman refused a bribe.

That's why they wanted to take the safe to Quantico.

More worried about being assaulted.

All true.

Lex is dead.

LOIS: Po-Tah-to. To-Mah-to.

LOIS: Why would I want to see that?

The first year really was the only one to watch. After that, it was just knock-offs.

Well, he considered Superman beneath him because of his morals, so it makes sense.

Those are in his OTHER office.

I could go that way, but I didn't.

But then he'd have to tell her about the video.

Exactly.

CLARK: Actually, I just don't watch too much tv.

If he wanted to remain Lois's whipping boy, yes.

JIMMY: Before you came to the DP, CK. When she was embedded with the troops in Iraq.

You know Clark wouldn't inconvenience anyone else but himself.

Lex sized doo-doo.

This is 1994. Nobody knew that about Vader then!

Cat's lie about Clark being undressed and wet at a homeless shelter?

Give him a break. He's been in jail.

You know I didn't notice that until you spelt it out. Terrific!

Yep. That's what he's afraid of.

That's not nice.

Am I the only one who remembers Lex telling Lois that their new bedroom had to sliding doors instead of French doors, because they were better?

HENDERSON: Hey! That's my line.

That's an old fashioned term for missus. (i.e. it's what Elizabeth Bennet says after seeing Pemberleigh - Darcy's mansion.)

HENDERSON: The pay sucks. The hours suck. The coffee sucks. But I get to taunt Lois Lane a lot.

Thirty-five years worth?

The flowers might have been a gift from the staff.

NIGEL:

Red rose petals mean the same thing and are cheaper.

And behind door #3!

No. Only the spouses of his guests.

Superman does face plant on Lex's pool deck?
LEX: Do you think that I'd allow that to happen?

That's where the one-way glass comes in.

Now, I know that's not what I wrote.

LEX: I'm sure Superman appreciated me leaving some nicknacks from his old home planet around the place.

That's what she's afraid of.

Sympathy isn't allowed?

So, they're fitting?

ARI: Come to mama!

Thanks for making me smile.

Your spelling looks all right to me

TV shows often portray the after effects to last that long when the protagonist got really drunk.

Funny how that worked ou.

Father Carlos:
CAT: Ooooh! Confessions are fun. Those male priests
Father Carlos:

Especially considering her reaction the first time she learned of the cameras.
LUCY: That’s different. That was just one *creep* watching me instead of an entire nation.

From the tequila body shots he allowed the local pool fauna to do on him?

Well, neither did Another Lois.
CLARK: That wasn’t *me*!



Yes. Still won’t make Ari any happier.





So he still had a chance of scoring with his wife?

SPENCER SPENCER: My, she sure looks a lot like you, honey. How about you do a strip for me and hop onto the cart and be my love slave for the night?
LOIS: How about I use that pair of nail clippers and start removing body parts from you? Starting with the not completely vital ones?



Oops, that should have read ‘Bill’.
STAR: I could help. Would need to charge extra for the long distance, but I could help…

Because it’s fun to watch the hired help do the less exciting work?
LEX:
LOIS: Yes, I was always under the impression that he was…less of a man.

Big Brother or the one with Lois staring at the House?

Conserving parts?



Are you sure? I thought the lava-bit was explained possibly even in the original novelization… Might have been molten steel, though

Drat. I wanted to prefix this with “Phil” referring to her bringing home a pet from the shelter.



True. I did notice that you refrained from denying it, though.
Part-183-LOIS: I’m not fat, am I? That button was never meant to be closed.



Oops?

I know. Ever since C-3PO starting calling Leia his mistress.
CLARK: Lois, you can be my mistress, too, if you want.
LOIS:



So…that’s seven days a week, twice on a Sunday Roughly 11,000.

LOIS: So…let me get this straight. My husband-to-be was an old miser?



BILL CHURCH:



/points at Lois’s employment contract/ She doesn’t do sympathetic. That’s why Perry had to hire a Clark.

Michael

I have good betas.

I've never really enjoyed hanging out with drunk people. Plus, Clark is part Kryptonian so he recovers quickly.

Actually, I believe Catholic priests only allow Catholics to use confessionals. Or maybe it's just a lie to get people to convert.

Luthor wasn't paying her to watch.

CLARK: That's not at all what happened.
JIMMY: No, that was me.

CAT:

Hmmmm. Right. Ari. /adds her name to my dangling threads list/ Thanks.

Movies of Lois's home / porn. Potato / Tomato.
LOIS: Hey!

ARI: I don't understand. He always scores with me on our anniversary.

I doubt he has much left which still functions, besides his head.
LOIS: Totally not viable.

Because Lois is always so forthcoming to the police?
HENDERSON: Good one.

Lois is more of action sort of woman, than a voyeur. Instead of watching she'd want to...
LEX: Sold!
LOIS: Not with you.
LEX: But... but... I've already paid.

Lois staring at the house? No, big brother.

Good One. No, I think it's too late for that. No, I thought I'd try getting the plot back on track.

Possibly, but who can remember back to then. That also assumes that this was public and general knowledge, not book knowledge coveted by a select few (million).

Don't they have enough on their plate at the moment to adopt a pet?
CAT: /pouting/ But he's the last of his kind.

That's NOT a quote!
LOIS: I'm fat? When did that happen?

That's what my Betas said too. Then again, most people must block out that domesticated bliss scene between Lois and Lex from HoL, where he knocks down all her ideas, refuses to talk business in front of her, and let's his secretary keep information from her.

CLARK: /glances down at his gold costume/ So, if I dressed up like Han Solo would you say yes?

LEX: I carve wood in my spare time. Everyone needs a hobby and it's mine.

How do you think the rich stay rich? By throwing $100 bills into the fire?

CLARK: But we're not talking articles and fluff pieces. We're talking RL.
LOIS: Potato / Tomato.

Next you’re saying politicians lie, too!
.
.
.


Now isn’t she the materialistic little… I think there’s a job title for women who get paid to let other people film them as they perform sexual acts.
LUCY: Spring Breaker?

Oh dear. Does that mean the investigation section won’t be over by 192?

Well…considering Lois never…entertained while she was on camera…
DIRT DIGGER: She was naked in the shower touching herself while it was all recorded for posterity, right?
ER: Well…
DIRT DIGGER: Porn.

Maybe he could get a refund? Or trade her in for a younger model?

Well, first it was Lois starring. Later it was just cheap knockoffs playing Lois on the show.





But I do remember that he likes his home to have a certain Ptolomeyan chique.

And he’d like Lois to repurpose her harem’s outfit?

He did fire-insure them for 150 a piece.

Michael

No! Never! They wouldn't dare. They all talk like Clark. They say one thing while meaning another.

That's sick. And how does that make those women porn stars?

No, my final part too longer than anticipated, so it ends with Part 193. On the plus side, you get a couple of extra Lois and Clark scenes. I mean, if you like that sort of thing.

LOIS: I was washing myself! And those videos were taking without my consent.
DIRT DIGGER: Since you knew about them and didn't object, consent was implied.
LOIS: /shows Randy Goode how the phrase 'implied consent' makes a woman feel/
GOODE:

LOIS: Any younger and she'd be...
LUCY:
LOIS: Right. Underage.

CLARK: I wouldn't say 'no' to that.
HERB: But... but... but the curse!
CLARK: /rolls eyes/ He's never seen RotJ.

I don't think you're allowed to insure something for more than its value.
LEX: They were collectors' items because I had personally touched them.

But doesn’t that require intelligence and the ability to reason?
LOIS: Your point being…?
CLARK:

What? Isn’t it a common trope that…things…happen on spring break and get recorded for posterity and financial gain of creative entrepreneurs?

I didn’t say that. Although it *is* the common definition.





LEX: I believe the former Italian prime minister just got away with that one…

Because it would be worth it or because there wouldn’t be any consummation.
LOIS: Because I’d be wasting Tempus first.

Plus, they are all unique pieces.
Check out here: http://cdn.zocoi.com/188/05.jpg (Panels 3 and 4)

Michael

EW:

Funny thing. Guess which man who man millions asking girls to go wild just had a daughter? Wonder what kind of advice he'll have for her when she wants to go away for Spring Break? I love Kharma.

LOIS: This is America and that's frowned upon here.

CLARK: Of course it would be work the risk. Or do you mean that seeing Lois dressed like Princess Leia in the slave girl costume will give me a heart attack? Is that why we wouldn't consummate?

There there. Your Clark is great fun, too. Even if he scores less than a Lex does with Lois.





Michael