Chapter 13: The Illness Lois stood outside the airport - new phone in one hand, suitcase in the other - and dialled Clark’s number for the fifth time.
“Hi, this is Clark Kent. Leave a message.”
“Clark. I left you a message when I was setting off to the airport, then when I got to the airport, then when I landed and twice since. Where are you? I caught an earlier flight and it’s pouring down. If you’re not here in five minutes I’m getting a cab.”
She hung up as forcefully as possible and stuffed her phone back in her pocket. She knew she was feeling ratty and tired. Over-tired. And the vision of Clark’s face greeting her would have been the perfect balm. But it didn’t happen, and so she felt the overbearing tiredness resting heavily on her.
Five minutes later, with no sign of Clark, she climbed into one of the ever-present airport cabs and snapped out her apartment address. As she settled into the seat she felt a raindrop trickle from her hair, past her ear and disappear down her back. The tickle it caused was almost unbearable and she shifted in her seat trying to rub her back against the fabric to relieve the itch.
“Damn you, Clark Kent,” she muttered.
“What was that miss?” came the cab driver, obviously wondering if she was talking to him or giving him new instructions.
“I was just cursing my missing work colleague,” she said harshly.
Work colleague! Why did you refer to him like that? He’s your fiancé. She frowned and tried to dissect the meaning behind it.
Freudian slip? Do I just want him to be my work colleague and that’s all? Or is it a panic reaction? Or maybe just anger that he let me down? “Oh. Supposed to pick you up, was he?” he asked conversationally.
“Mmm hmmm,” she replied.
When the cab pulled up she climbed out, dragging her suitcase. Standing on the sidewalk she passed some bills through the open window then turned. “What?” came her surprised exclamation. She turned back, but the cab was pulling away. She shook her fist in the air and ran forward a few steps. “Wrong block, block-head!” Groaning, she kicked at the puddle of water at her feet then began to stamp furiously along the road to the next block over, the correct block.
Arriving home, soaking wet, she immediately glanced to her machine hoping for a message from Clark. Disappointment arced through her at the lack of blinking light. “Just when I thought everything was going to be alright.”
She dropped to the couch and hung her head. “Just when I thought it would be a good idea to tell him how I really feel.”
Standing up and storming into her bedroom with her suitcase she began to unpack, venting all her frustration on the poor clothes and toiletries. “Well, he doesn’t deserve to know.”
Realising that she was still soaking wet she reached for a towel, but then heard a knock at the door.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Clark stood at the door and took a deep breath.
Here goes. It’s time for the truth. And she most definitely needs to know after I failed to collect her this afternoon. I guess this is also when I find out if she wants to end it. The way she talked ... the things she said in that last phone call from Coast City. And now, my failure to pick her up can’t have helped. Clark thought back to the series of increasingly aggressive messages he’d just listened to after returning from the earthquake in China. He’d immediately sped to her apartment and now he was feeling the nerves building as he was about to spill his two biggest secrets to his best friend and possibly find that that friendship had well and truly ended.
Raising his hand he knocked and waited.
When Lois opened the door his heart lurched. He took in everything in a microsecond; her dishabilled appearance, her bright eyes and cheeks, her soaking wet clothing clinging to her curves, but most of all, the anger rolling off her in waves.
“Where the heck were you?” she shouted at him then sneezed.
“Bless you!” Clark automatically said and reached into his pocket for a handkerchief to pass to her. He stretched out an arm in supplication, hoping she’d begin the forgiveness process early but she just glared at him.
“Well, I’m waiting, Clark!” She hadn’t stepped back to allow him entry into the apartment.
Not a good sign. “It’s complicated, Lois. I ... can I come in please? It’s not something I want to explain out in the hall.”
She studied him for a moment and then stepped to the side, almost robotically. He walked in and headed for the couch but when he looked back Lois was still at the door.
“Lois?” he queried.
“All right, you have five minutes. And it better be a superb explanation, because, Kent, you are in the dog house at the moment.” She stamped over to him and stood, glaring, hands on her hips.
“Um,” he turned away and began to pace. “I’m not exactly sure where to start, Lois,”
“It’s not hard, Kent.” She interrupted. “Basically, you just need to tell me where you were. Why you couldn’t pick me up, like we arranged. Why I was left in the rain and had to walk a whole block to get home when the stupid cab driver dropped me off at the stupid wrong corner.” She was shouting so loudly that Clark could see her body shaking.
“Lois!” Clark placed his hands on her shoulders to steady her. “Calm down. I’m sorry. I really am. I wanted to pick you up. I planned the whole thing. I was going to tell you ...” He dropped his hand and sighed. “You asked for an explanation before, about why I didn’t respond to your messages and I promised you one once you got back. Well ...” he took a deep breath and was about to speak again when he noticed that Lois was still shaking.
“Lois?” he frowned and put his hands back on her shoulders. “Are you okay?”
“I’m ...” she faltered. “Just, a little woozy.” She shook her head. “Go on. You have four minutes left!” she said roughly. Then she swayed a little and Clark grabbed on tighter. “Ooooo!” came a soft sound from her mouth. “That’s not good.” She reached up to grab onto Clark then collapsed.
Clark held her in his arms and experienced a moment of déjà vu. Suddenly he was back at the start, on Lois’ birthday.
The Pact. That’s where it all started. Feeling her forehead with the back of one hand he was surprised at the heat she was radiating.
I should have noticed before. Her glassy eyes and red cheeks. She’s soaking wet through. He gently lifted her into his arms and carried her through to the bedroom, again bringing forth a memory of that night.
Now, this could be awkward, he thought.
I can’t leave her in these clothes, but she’ll be twice as angry with me if she thinks I’ve undressed her. At least that night her clothes were dry and I just needed to remove her shoes. Clark perched on the edge of the bed, tentatively reaching out to Lois’ jumper. Warring emotions kept him from being able to make a decision on what to do. Part of him desperately wanted to take the forbidden route and damn the consequences but the rest of him knew full well what the wrath of Lois tasted like.
“Clark? What’s going on,” came a soft mumbled question from the bed.
“You fainted. Lois, you have a fever but you’re also shivering. I think you caught a chill from the rain. You should get out of your wet clothes and maybe go to bed.”
Clark watched as Lois tried to climb off the bed but her knees buckled and he reached to catch her again.
“I think you might be right.” She lifted a hand to her forehead. “Um, could you help me out of ... um!”
Clark raised his eyebrows. Lois had gone from blazing hot anger to quiet shyness. Something was definitely up. She was ill. “Okay, Lois,” he answered carefully.
Easing her jumper over her head he was relieved to find a small but dry t-shirt underneath.
She can sleep in that and I don’t need to remove any more. It was a bit more awkward helping her with her jeans but Lois seemed unaware of the strange intimacy of the situation now.
“Why didn’t you change as soon as you got in?” Clark wondered out loud.
“I was about to when you knocked on the door, Mr Interruptus,” she mumbled.
Clark helped Lois climb under the covers and she began to snuggle up to her pillow.
“I’ll come round in the morning to check on you. Get some good sleep, and stay warm.”
“Okay, Clark,” she answered drowsily. “Thank you.”
As Clark left the apartment and clicked the door shut behind him he let out the breath he’d been holding. The tension that had started to build in his stomach, as he lowered her jeans, thankfully dissipated along with the shuddering sound.
As he strode away he pumped his fists in and out in frustration. He’d built himself up for tonight’s conversation. He’d readied himself for all possibilities when he told her the full and complete truth. But he’d not counted on her feeling ill and he felt the unfulfilled promise weighing on his shoulders.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Lois woke in the morning and groaned as she rolled over in bed. Completely tangled in her sheets it took too many minutes to extricate her body.
“Okay, escapology is coming off my CV,” she quipped at herself.
She tentatively climbed out of bed and shuffled across the floor and into the bathroom. The bright fluorescent light penetrated her skull and made her wince in pain. As she stared at her bleary-eyed reflection she felt the same furnace of heat flow through her that had hit last night. The rush of sound in her ears and the light-headed feeling made her lose her balance and she slid to the floor grabbing onto the bath for support.
And that’s where Clark found her five minutes later.
“How did you get in?” she mumbled.
“I had the clever idea to take your key last night,” he smiled at her, laughing lightly.
“Oh.”
“How long have you been here?” he asked gently. On some level she was aware that she was just in her small t-shirt and panties but she didn’t care. The fact that Clark seemed oblivious did send a stab of disappointment through her for a moment though.
“Too long. Help me up.” She grabbed onto his arm and attempted to pull herself up but instead she found herself cradled in Clark’s arms. Looking into his eyes as he gazed down at her she heard the rushing noise again, but knew that it was not linked to her fainting this time.
When Clark carried her back to bed she protested.
“You can’t go to work like this. I think you have flu.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. It’s just a small chill.” She waved away Clark’s concern and tried to climb off the bed again but he held out a hand and gently pushed her back down.
“See, you have no strength, Lois. Let me get you something to drink.” Lois levered herself up on her elbows to watch him disappear through the bedroom door. She had to admit he was right. Her muscles had no strength and she feared embarrassing herself further if she tried to stand again.
As she waited for Clark to return she contemplated her decision to tell him about her true feelings. After the way he’d let her down yesterday she really felt like making him suffer but his kindness to her when she’d fallen ill ... that was his true self. That was Clark. And she knew that there would be a true reason, not just a pathetic excuse, why he failed to pick her up.
When he came back in carrying a tray her heart leaped.
It could be like this every day when we are married. Him looking after me, caring for me. As he came closer she opened her mouth to say something but a wracking cough came out instead.
No. I can’t have this conversation now. Not when I feel this way. Clark placed the tray on her bedside table and then perched on the edge of the bed. He reached out and touched her cheek.
“Lois, I think you need rest. I’ll tell Perry not to expect you and I’ll call on you tonight.” She smiled up at him and when he began to lower his head she widened her eyes, her heart pounding. But he just brushed her cheek with his lips and then pulled back.
“Clark, you’ll catch cold.”
“That’s not possible, Lois,” he said softly, and for some reason, she believed him.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Clark arrived at Lois’ apartment, early evening, later on the same day. He strode through her apartment quietly when there was no reply to his tentative cry of ‘Lois’ and was actually surprised to find her in bed. It was a shock to realise that Lois had actually paid attention to his suggestion. He’d been half expecting her to stride out of the elevator and then promptly collapse at his feet in defiance of her illness.
He perched on the edge of her bed and watched as she slept. Unable to resist he nudged forward and then reached out to trail a finger over her cheek and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.
Gosh, she’d beautiful. Stunning. I need to tell her my feelings, my secret. But I can’t do it while she’s so ill. As he trailed his finger back over her cheek and down to her chin she began to stir. He moved away quickly to avoid discovery. Standing and taking a step away he called out quietly.
“Lois. It’s Clark. Do you need anything? I can get you a drink, or something to eat.”
“Mmmm,” she rolled over and blinked her eyes tiredly as she woke. “A drink please,” came her croaky reply.
When he returned a minute later with a glass of cold water he found Lois trying to push herself up. He put the drink down and took hold of her arms to lift. When she was settled against the pillow he passed her the drink and she gulped it all down smacking her lips in refreshed sigh when she pulled the glass away.
“Thank you, Clark.”
“How much have you slept, Lois?” he asked.
“I think I’ve slept ...” she turned to look at her alarm clock and Clark watched her eyes widen in shock when she saw the time “... most of the afternoon. Oh, Clark,” she moaned. “I hate feeling useless. I hate being ill.”
“It’s okay. You can’t help it. If it helps you to feel better, you can blame me.” He smiled at her.
“I already do!” she said playfully and smiled back.
“See, it’s working already.” Clark felt his heart swell with love and he just gazed into Lois’ eyes. When several minutes passed in silence Clark realised that she’d been gazing back and he broke the contact with a little nervous cough.
Clark’s brain suddenly began buzzing with ideas. He wanted to tell her he loved her but knew that now was not the time so he settled for trying to get some answers on the wedding.
“Um, are you up to discussing a few things?” He raised his eyebrows a little, in tentative question.
“Discussing what exactly?” she asked.
“Do you have any ideas on a date for the wedding yet?”
She looked away. “There’s still plenty of time. We don’t need to rush into it, Clark.” He let out a little breath, slightly disappointed, but mostly relieved.
Well, if she wanted to call it off, that would have been the time. And she didn’t, she just stalled. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Clark visited the following evening and immediately made her a sandwich. Lois seemed a little better and sat at the table to eat but she only picked at the sandwich. Once finished she stood up from the table. It became obvious that she still had a lot of recovering to do, though, when she collapsed in Clark’s arms again. Instead of taking her back to bed he laid her on the couch. He attempted to open up discussion on the wedding again.
“Have you thought about bridesmaids?”
Lois looked away and he would swear her cheeks went redder than red, but with her fever it was difficult to tell.
“Um, Cindy still won’t talk to me after that Trivial Pursuit disaster. I haven’t actually called Lucy yet.”
Clark couldn’t hide his smile.
She’s chosen her bridesmaids. Thankfully she was looking away so she didn’t notice his goofy grin.
“I know you don’t want people to know yet,” he said, trying to show his disappointment a little with his tone, “but I thought that Lucy would be someone you would
want to confide in.”
“I don’t know, Clark. I just ... haven’t got round to calling her.”
“Have you told
anyone?” Clark asked, fearful of the inevitable negative response to come and its ultimate meaning.
“No. Have you?” She looked at him wide-eyed.
“No,” he breathed out while shaking his head.
But I desperately want to, he thought.
Clark knew that time was running out. One way or another, things were going to change drastically, soon. He felt his body humming with tension every time he was near her.
Soon. Maybe I’ll get my dream. He allowed himself a moment of pure joy at the thought.
Or maybe it’ll slip from my grasp. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Lois managed to shower herself the next day, but only after spending most of the day gathering her strength ready for it. Thankfully, Clark arrived soon after she exited the bathroom and was on hand the rest of the evening to wait on her.
As he fussed over her; seating her on the couch, getting a blanket, getting a hot coffee, closing the drapes, she smiled.
He will make a wonderful husband, even if he never loves me in a romantic way. If I think about it logically then I have to admit that I’m the luckiest girl in the world. He left the room to make her a sandwich and her smile turned to a frown.
Since when has Lois Lane been logical? Think instinctively, Lois. Go with your gut. What does my gut tell me? Her stomach growled and gurgled at her.
It tells me that Clark’s taking too long with that sandwich. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Clark called Lois from work the next day and she asked him to bring Chinese food that evening.
That’s a really good sign. I don’t like seeing her ill and if she’s wanting to eat that much then she’s definitely better. As Clark approached the apartment door he began to wonder if she was ‘better’ enough to have
the talk or not.
He let himself in and was pleased to see her sat on the couch watching the television. She waved a welcome and he smiled at her but strode straight for the kitchen to get cutlery for the food. As he came back out he noticed her laptop on the table; paper, pens and notes strewn around it.
She just can’t relax, he sighed.
But I suppose it’s the best I could hope for. She’d never give up on work for more than a day or two, even if she was at death’s door. At least she didn’t try to come into the office. He walked around to the love seat and Lois shifted over to give him room. He sat down and passed over some cardboard containers and chopsticks.
As they ate in silence Clark decided to test the water once more; as he’d done every evening.
“So, you’ve had a lot of time on your hands. Have you come up with any ideas for wedding themes, or a venue?”
“Clark,” she said, not moving her gaze one iota from the television. “I refer you back to answer one from two nights ago. There’s no rush. In fact there’s no point making any decisions as I may even change my mind about my choices by the time we get round to arranging everything.”
Clark realised that it was useless trying to push her on this, at least until he’d told her his feelings ... and his secret. Then maybe he could make her see how much he wanted to do this, how he was desperate to put his arms round her and call her ‘wife’.
Well, with the way she’s improving maybe she’ll be up for a ‘date’ in a few days. I can set the scene, give her a lovely evening out ... then drop a bombshell on her. Clark groaned in his head.
This is just going to be a disaster. As the evening wore on it became clear that Lois was getting tired again. She didn’t need any help getting in to bed so Clark left her sat on the couch still watching Lethal Weapon.
He pecked her on the cheek then stood and walked to the door. He’d done it every night since she’d returned, hoping to get her used to at least a little affection between them.
“Night, Lois,” he said as he opened the door.
“Night, Clark,” she called out as he clicked it shut behind him and at that moment it was as if another click happened in his brain.
Clark! She said ‘night Clark’. She hasn’t called me ‘Farmboy’ since we got engaged. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Lois woke early the next morning. Glancing at her alarm clock she was surprised to discover that it was only 7:05 am and she didn’t feel tired or fatigued or achy at all. She sat up and swivelled around to put her feet on the carpet and when she stood there was no rushing sound, no light-headedness and no muscle failure.
She made it all the way to the bathroom without problem and when she still felt fine after a shower she attempted to get dressed. All the way through her morning routine she kept expecting to collapse on the floor then have to crawl back to bed in shame but it never happened.
It got to 8:30 and Lois found herself stood at the apartment door, fully dressed, her stomach satisfied, her jacket on and her bag over her shoulder. She took a breath and nodded to herself then opened the door and went to work.
She was a little bit breathless when she got to the Planet but took that as a good sign. She could easily have been coughing and wheezing. Knocking on the door to Perry’s office she strode in without waiting for an answer.
“Hi, chief. I’m back. What do you want me on today?”
Perry looked up startled and then stood up suddenly. “Lois, what in the King’s name are you doing here? You’ve got flu. Get back home to bed.” He waved an arm in the direction of the door.
“Don’t have a heart attack, Perry. I’m fine now. As you can see.” She spread her arms and dipped in a little pose.
“Well, you better be. Kent’s been trying to fill your role, but between that and his own assignments and his obvious worry over you he looks a wreak.”
Lois frowned. What was Perry implying?
“You know he'd do anything for you.”
“What?” Lois blinked in shock.
“Lois, how can you not see it? Either of you." His voice was soft, almost a whisper, with a disbelieving tone.
"See what?"
"What you two mean to each other.” Perry was frowning at her, clearly frustrated that she couldn't see what he was trying to explain. His mouth twitched and he wiped away his frown revealing an affectionate smile in its place.
“Chief, I really think you’re living in a fantasy world,” Lois laughed nervously and left, but she couldn’t help but get butterflies in her stomach as she got closer to her desk.
Clark had kept asking about wedding related things when he’d visited. Was he excited about the marriage? Maybe he really did want to marry her. Lois had stubbornly refused to make any decisions and had constantly steered the conversation away from the subject but she knew that, inside, she’d already secretly planned the perfect wedding.
Perry can’t possibly be right. But what if he is? What if we both want this wedding as much as each other? She looked over at the empty desk opposite. Glancing to the conference room she saw a shadow through the glass in the door. Clark was clearly working on something in depth or sensitive.
It’s time, she thought. Taking a deep breath she opened the door, stepped in, and then her nerve failed her. Clark looked up in surprise.
“Lois,” he shot out of his chair. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m feeling much better now. You don’t need to worry anymore.” She smiled as brightly as possible and then strode over to a chair. Collapsing into it she realised that she
wasn’t fine. She was a nervous wreck ... combined with the lingering effects of draining flu.
“Well, if you’re feeling up to it I’d like to take you out for dinner then,” Clark said casually. Lois narrowed her eyes and looked up. He wasn’t even looking at her and the tone had been completely matter of fact.
Perry’s wrong. Clark is just a very caring person in general. It means nothing. “I know you keep saying there’s no rush, but there are some important things to discuss.” Lois heard a very slight waiver in Clark’s voice, although he was still looking away.
Maybe he’s right. Maybe I can tell him my feelings and maybe he’ll return them. An anticipation began to build in her stomach. The more she thought about it and repeated Perry’s words in her head the more it spread. She found herself breathing deeply in nervous excitement.
Here it comes, she thought.
I can’t hold it in any longer. She opened her mouth but words failed her. Lois Lane, lost for words. Only Clark Kent could do that to her. She decided some reassurance would be useful before she told him the truth. Maybe if she knew what he expected then she could phrase how she told him appropriately.
“So, how is this marriage going to work then, Clark?”
“How do you mean?”
“You know. Living arrangements, intimacy, finances, hobbies, vacations.”
“You don’t want to discuss the wedding itself, but you’re happy to discuss the resulting marriage?” Clark was confused.
“Well, the wedding is only one day. The marriage is ...”
“Forever?”
“Forever!” she whispered out.
Perry’s wrong, came the inner scared child. Suddenly it was all too much for her. She jumped up. “I can’t do this.” Flight mode had suddenly switched on again.
Clark looked up at her. “What?” He stood.
“I can’t marry you, Clark.”
He strode over to her. “Lois,” he took hold of her arms. “It’s okay. Everything will be fine. You don’t need to worry. I’m sure we can make it work.” She turned away in his arms and tried to escape. He let go of one arm but instead of releasing her he lifted it to her face. Gentle pressure made her turn her face back to his. “Lois, I promise I will look after you. I will care for you. We will have a good life together.”
“How do you know that? I’m not easy to live with ... and I’m always getting into trouble.” All her insecurities came pouring out.
“Believe me, there is no-one better out there that can put up with you, or look after you.”
“I ... I know, but-” she blurted but he interrupted.
“No buts, Lois. We can make this work.” His voice was a little stronger.
“How can you be so sure it will work?” Her voice was now rising, too.
“Why are you so sure it won’t?” he asked vehemently.
“Because I’m completely in love with you,” she shouted back.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
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