Chapter 14: The Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing but the Truth She said it. The thing he most longed to hear. The thing he’d thought least likely to happen. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think. The silence all around was palpable.
He had a stray thought that if she’d done that out in the middle of the news floor, rather than here in the conference room, the ever-present clamour of sound and chatter would still have faded, leaving him in stunned silence.
She must have misinterpreted his silence as she turned and strode away.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have dropped that on you. Um, forget I said it. Actually don’t forget. I just ... It won’t get in the way.” She turned around. “Of our marriage that is.”
Clark got over his shock and tried to interrupt her. “Lois.”
“I’ll be a good wife. I will. And maybe, someday, you’ll love me a little.”
“Lois.”
“They say that you grow to love the person you’re married to. And it can be a strong love. Based on respect and admiration.”
“Lois.”
“And if it doesn’t happen then I’ll always know that you’re still my friend.”
Clark figured there was only one way to get her attention so he grabbed her arms to still her then swooped down to capture her lips. He felt her shock at the sudden intimacy but she quickly softened in his arms and he began to draw her closer.
As his arms went round her back he felt her hands come up to his shoulders. He deepened the kiss, opening his mouth a little and her fingers tangled in his hair. When he heard a little sigh come from her he moved his hands to her lower back and drew her body right in to his. The contact sent a frisson of desire through him and he reluctantly pulled away, knowing that it was too soon for that.
Clark looked down at Lois’ face. Her eyes were closed, a look of happiness on her features. When she opened them to look back at him dreamily he smiled at her.
“Why haven’t you called me
Farmboy since we got engaged,” he asked quietly.
“I ...” she blinked and looked shocked. “I didn’t think it would be appropriate now.”
“I miss it,” he confessed.
“Oh!” She widened her eyes and looked shocked. Clark lowered his head again and gave her a sweet, tender kiss.
“Perry was right,” she whispered when he drew back again.
“Right? About what?”
“He said that the only ones who didn’t know how we two felt about each other were ... well ...
we two!” She smiled shyly up at him and he grinned back down at her.
“I guess so,” said Clark. As he let his gaze linger on her face he noticed her expression become wary.
“Um, how
do you feel about me, Clark?”
“Mmm!” he asked, confused and still lost in her eyes.
“You haven’t said that you love me.” Her voice wobbled a little.
Clark felt real terror hit his stomach. He stepped back and turned away from her. “That’s because it’s a lot more complicated than ‘I love you’ for me, Lois.”
“More complicated. How can it be? Unless ...” he heard her take a shocked breath in “... you don’t.”
He turned round and strode back, grabbing her arms. “I do. Lois I’m
completely in love with you. So much ... But ...”
She reached up a hand and put a finger on his lips. Her beautiful smile calmed his nerves.
“No buts, Clark. Just kiss me again.”
Who’d have thought it? Lois was in heavenly bliss. Clark Kent, naive farm boy – although also well respected journalist, and not exactly a boy anymore – kissed like a pro. His lips were divine; his touch like soft feathers caressing her arms. Behind that calm, reserved exterior was a pulsating heat, a passionate soul.
My goodness, how did I not see it before? His passion when writing and investigating, his search for the truth, his desire to expose injustice. That passion must have come from somewhere. His heart, his soul. And if the passion was there for his job, then ... She moaned as he slid his hand to her cheek and twisted sideways to kiss her deeper. She brought her arms round his back and pulled him in tighter. Lois parted her lips slightly and she felt Clark’s tongue seek to enter. The closeness of their bodies began to increase her awareness of him. Every touch, every tingle made her more alive in his arms.
She felt like she was soaring through the sky. She’d only ever felt this way in another man’s arms before. Situations which were as remote from 'intimate' as possible. But flying in Superman’s arms, on the occasions he had rescued her from her own folly, were nothing in comparison to this.
As she gave herself completely into the kiss she began to notice the feel of Clark’s body against her. She felt a little surprised but a sudden rush of euphoria kicked her past that.
He desires me. She rocked closer to him and he moaned.
“Oh, Lois!” he mumbled into her lips. She drew back to take a much needed breath but when she leaned back in, he pulled away. “Lois, we have to stop. We’re at work. And there are things to talk about.”
His softly spoken words brought her down to earth with a bump. She stepped out of his arms and felt unexpectedly cold at the loss. As she studied him she began to feel apprehension. He was breathing deeply, as was she, a lingering effect of the long, drugging kiss.
Lois watched as he turned away, slowly, and took a few steps towards the window. She wondered why he seemed so nervous after the glorious joy of the revelations just minutes ago. Coming up behind him slowly she reached out a hand and placed it on his shoulder. When he turned his head and brought up a hand to cover hers she moved round to the side and faced him. He turned to face her and brought her hand down.
Lois watched in confusion as Clark took hold of her other hand and then held them both together in his. He looked up into her eyes and spoke earnestly.
“Lois, I have confessed my love for you. You know my feelings.”
Lois got the impression that he was asking her a question so she answered. “I know.” She nodded and smiled.
“Um,” he paused and Lois watched as his throat quivered as he swallowed. “I think it’s time that I confess something else to you. Another secret. One I’ve been hiding for even longer.”
Lois frowned and gave a slight shake of her head. “Secret?
Farmboy, you don’t have any secrets from me.” She laughed.
She watched as Clark’s eyes lit up at her calling him ‘Farmboy’ again. He glanced to the floor and his breathing seemed to return to normal. Peering back up through his lashes he smiled back at her and raised an eyebrow. “Really? How about “I love you”. You didn’t know that secret did you?”
“Well, no,” she pouted. He smiled at her then his chest heaved as he took a deep breath.
“I’ve been keeping this particular secret since I arrived.”
“Arrived? You mean the office?” she teased. He didn’t take the bait.
“No, since I arrived ... in Smallville.” Lois finally began to feel the seriousness of the situation.
“Oh, your adoption,” she breathed out quietly. He gulped and nodded.
“I’ve spent all my life hiding who I am, where I come from.”
“Clark. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, being adopted.”
“No, Lois, that’s not it. My parents ...” he sighed. “This is hard for me. I have to confess that I’m terrified.” He gave a nervous laugh.
“What do you have to be terrified of Clark?” she tried to smile encouragingly with a loving, but teasing tone to her answer.
“I didn’t think it would be like this, but I never expected that you felt the same way. But now that I have you, I’m scared to lose you.”
“Lose me? Clark, what is this secret that could possibly change what we’ve just become to each other.” She reached a hand up to his face and cupped his cheek.
“I’ve been hiding who I am. Disguising my true self. This ... is not Clark Kent. Well it is, but … it's not. Not the whole Clark Kent. This is a front, a deception. So that I can hide, so that I’m safe. And when I strip that away, I worry that you won’t feel the same way. I can’t even believe that you would fall in love with ... this, when I remember how you used to feel about Superman.” He indicated with his hand by placing his palm on his chest. “Clark Kent can't compare with Superman, although I've been secretly hoping that he can … in your eyes. And this man you see standing before you, this isn’t even really Clark Kent.”
“Are you saying that the man I love doesn’t really exist?” she asked. Her eyes were wide with worry and trepidation.
“No, um. I am Clark Kent. This is Clark Kent. He’s real. I’m real. But it’s not truly me. It’s only part of me, it’s the part that I hide behind ... a mask ... the part that I try to keep … safe.”
If this is all a mask then who is Clark Kent? She tried to look past the facade to find him.
In a second she saw past the geeky glasses and wild ties. She forgot about the naive personality, the farm boy, and realised that Clark was very strong; very manly. The feel of his arms around her; the way she’d 'flown' when he kissed her; the way he held her gaze. It was impossible to rip her eyes away.
She saw his heart, that passionate soul out to fight for truth. She put away all her preconceptions - the hack, Mr Green Jeans - which had weighed her down since their first meeting, and had continued to blind her even once she fell in love with him. And then true recognition came.
“You see, Lois ...”
“Oh my goodness! You’re ...”
“I’m Superman,” he said as he removed his glasses.
She stood there, shock evident in her blank look and wide-eyed stare.
“Say something, please, Lois.” He felt his heart pounding so hard, it was a good job he was the Man of Steel or it would have burst out of his chest.
As he watched a gradual softening came over her face. “How did I never see this?” she frowned in jest. “I must be blind or galactically stupid.”
“Lois, you’re not stupid. I didn’t
want you to see it.”
She squinted and turned her head a little. He saw the challenge in her eyes, the anger rising, and quickly tried to explain.
“No, I mean, I did, but, uh, it wasn’t safe.” He stammered out his quick reply but it came out all wrong. “I’m not doing this right. Lois. I’ve wanted to tell you for so long. To share myself with you completely. Even before I fell in love with you. When we became best friends I wanted to tell you and now ... now that we ... I knew you needed to know. Even though it’s dangerous. Even though you’d be at risk.” He stopped and looked into her eyes trying to read her expression.
“Lois, please say something.”
“I ...” she faltered and lifted her hand back to his cheek. He took a chance that it was a gesture of forgiveness, of acceptance, and began to lower his lips.
Rap, rap, rap, came a sharp tapping on the glass in the door. They both broke apart and turned to stare at the door. When it opened immediately Clark quickly slipped his glasses back on and stepped away from Lois.
“Kent, I sure hope you’ve convinced Lois to go back home.” Perry strode in then stopped suddenly when he looked up to see them both. “Lois, you ...” he paused and sighed pressing his fingers to his temple. “You are one stubborn woman. Are you sure you’re up to this?”
“I thought we already covered that back in your office, Chief.”
“Yeah, you would think it was finished. And Kent,” he pointed, “I would have thought your ‘mother hen’ instinct would have had you carrying her back home. I was counting on it. Judas Priest. She’s been ill.”
“Sorry, Chief.” He shuffled his feet and looked down at the floor. Lois turned to frown at him; he saw it in his peripheral vision. It was the first time she seen his ‘Clark Kent-ing’ since finding out the truth.
“You just look after her.” Perry pointed at Lois and ordered Clark.
“I will, sir,” he nodded.
When the door clicked shut behind the Editor-in-Chief they both let out a breath and turned back to face each other.
“Why do you do that?” she asked.
“Do what?”
“That act. The subservient, humble, meek act. Why? You’re the most powerful man on earth.”
“To throw people off the scent. To avoid suspicion. To give the impression that I’m the opposite of super. Plus … I kind of actually am humble.” He grinned in amusement.
“But
why?” she emphasised even more.
“I want a life, Lois. I can’t be Superman twenty four hours a day. I need to be me. Clark. And I need
time as me.”
Lois lifted her hand to his cheek again. The tentative, tender touch of the tips of her fingers was feather-light. “Your life is so complicated. I never realised.” Clark looked down into her open eyes, her honest expression. He saw the tiny wrinkles along her forehead that indicated her empathy for him.
“Too complicated?” he asked. He knew that this was the moment. This was the make or break question.
“No,” she shook her head and smiled. Lifting her hand further up and round to the back of his head she pulled it down into quick a searing kiss.
“So you’re still okay with the engagement?” He raised his eyebrows just a little in hope.
“Can we not focus on the engagement for now? Let’s just enjoy being in love.” He nodded at her and grinned.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Time for even more
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