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Wrong Place, Wrong Time, Wrong Clark TOC can be found HereComments welcome.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Freelance Reporter
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If Clark thinks he was pathetic with Lana, he is even worse with Lois. But, hey it's Lois so it's okay if he is more pathetic with her, right.
It's a shame that such a great character has been reduced to having the emotional development of a puppy. He patiently waits for the approval and attention from his master and remains loyal and obedient even when she treats him harshly. Clark's such a good boy.
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Pulitzer
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If Clark thinks he was pathetic with Lana, he is even worse with Lois. My thoughts exactly. He seems a puppy, eager to please. He's so used to Lois holding his leash that he doesn't know what to do when she is not bossing him around. He can't even enjoy a little free time with a friend. Yes, he's still pathetic. And he's still desperate for love, too. Now he is so desperate that Lois love him that he'll take any crap from her. He basks in the crumbs of attention that she can spare and feels grateful when she throws him a bone. Poor Clark. Can't he go back and rescue his Lois? Maybe he'll have better luck with the right one. Andreia
"My wife's love is what unites Krypton and Earth in my heart. Without it, without her, I truly would be in hell."
~ Superman: Man of Tomorrow #15
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Apparently, my readers believe Lois lying to Clark to protect him from Luthor is as (crazy) as Clark doing the same for Lois. We've got two votes here that he's not going to take it much longer. Just a reminder to my readers, this Clark did give up his whole previous life for this woman, so he does have a bit of tunnel vision regarding her. Then he thought he had lost her to Luthor, because he had been less than honest and just got her back. Since then, they've kind of been in relationship limbo. Now that the investigation is over, they can finally start over. In a way, they are still at the beginning of their relationship and people at the beginning of a romance tend to talk on the phone all the time. (I promise no "You hang up, first." Giggle. "No, you hang up first" silliness with Lois and Clark.) They haven't yet had the chance to have that conversation where he confronts her about her behavior during the investigation. He's been waiting until it was over to talk to her about it, but this Vegas trip stalled that development. (Hence relationship limbo.) If Clark thinks he was pathetic with Lana, he is even worse with Lois. But, hey it's Lois so it's okay if he is more pathetic with her, right. Oh, dear. So, it's uncool to have Clark miss the woman he loves, and want to speak and be with her? Oh, deary dear. How exactly is Clark *more* pathetic with Lois? He stands up to her more than he ever did with Lana. It's a shame that such a great character has been reduced to having the emotional development of a puppy. He patiently waits for the approval and attention from his master and remains loyal and obedient even when she treats him harshly. Clark's such a good boy. He seems a puppy, eager to please. He's so used to Lois holding his leash that he doesn't know what to do when she is not bossing him around. He can't even enjoy a little free time with a friend. Yes, he's still pathetic. And he's still desperate for love, too. Now he is so desperate that Lois love him that he'll take any crap from her. He basks in the crumbs of attention that she can spare and feels grateful when she throws him a bone. Poor Clark. How does Lois treat him badly in this part, other than giving Clark what he asked for? (That is, from what he heard from Lois in this part or even the last two parts, how is her treatment getting worse?) I don't see how Lois is bossing him around. By telling him not to come home? She told him she was fine and didn't him to come home to take care of her while he was sick, to concentrate on his recovery, and to have fun. So, that makes her bossy and treating him like crap? I'm confused. What could she have said to not sound 'bossy' if that were the case? If Clark had been 100%, he probably wouldn't have listened to her false platitudes about being fine, but he's feels poorly, he's tired, and not himself. He just wants to get better. He's taking her at her word, because he's trying to completely honest with her, so he expects that she is with him as well. Remember that he's been through a traumatic situation. Vegas is a louder and more hedonistic town than Metropolis (apologies to all who live there, but it is); it's not really his style. He let loose Saturday night (i.e. the night before) after Cat rescued him and he doesn't want to do that again. He just starting to feel better from his hangover. He doesn't feel like dancing or having fun after what he's been through, he just wants to get past it and move on with his life. Gambling, let alone slot machines, and flirting with women doesn't interest him. He came for the sunshine boost, not a good time. Yes, that does make him a sourpuss, and not much of a fun buddy for Jimmy; I'll agree with you there. JIMMY: CK, you're so (whipped). Can't he go back and rescue his Lois? Maybe he'll have better luck with the right one. Well, that's still a possibility. The story hasn't ended yet. Although, he did make a promise to this Lois he wouldn't leave this dimension (or "this world") until she died. So, for him to go back, she would have to die, wouldn't she? Or is there another loophole he could exploit? I don't want Clark to seem overly pathetic (being depressed, tortured, and sick can make anyone pathetic in the short term, IMO). The low point of his character's arc was when he thought Lois had tried to kill him with her engagement ring. Currently, he's on an upswing (no, really, he is) and this spell is just a little bump in the road to being the strong man he needs to be. I promise. Don't forget 36 hours earlier, he was slowly dying a painful death in a Kryptonite cage and trying to convince himself that Lois hadn't double-crossed him and married Luthor after all. That's not something one can easily snap back of. Thank you both for your comments. Apparently, I haven't been very clear on what Clark's thoughts are regarding his view of their current relationship. I'll try to be more so in the future. I'm still working five parts out, so it may take a part or two for me to find a place to put them in. Unless you want me to go back and add in something in this part or the previous part.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Top Banana
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You know, if he's whipped, I'd say she's hooked so I suspect they're just two lovers (even if not in the physically intimate sense) in love.
CLARK: No. I'm just worried I'm a jinx. JONATHAN: A jinx? CLARK: Yeah. Let's face it, ever since she's known me, Lois's been kidnapped, frozen, pushed off buildings, almost stabbed, poisoned, buried alive and who knows what else, and it's all because of me. -"Contact" (You're not her jinx, you're her blessing.)
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Christina: Thank you for commenting. You know, if he's whipped, I'd say she's hooked so I suspect they're just two lovers (even if not in the physically intimate sense) in love. Nicely said, and I may end up borrowing that for my quote line. CLARK: Definitely not in the physical sense. LOIS: Shucks. As someone just reminded me, due to the length of my epics, my stories sometimes read better in the Archive version because the reader doesn't have to wait a week between parts.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Features Writer
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I’ve only joined the boards recently, and am still reading the first half of this story. So I may have a different perspective, and apologize if I miss some important facts.
What I see when I read this part is both Lois and Clark hurting emotionally, and Clark also physically, with both of their support systems inadequate. Okay, their primary support systems are probably each other, and right now they’re thousands of miles apart. They can’t talk on the phone with Lois’s justifiable concerns about surveillance. And Clark doesn’t know her concerns, so he doesn’t understand.
Both are floundering, and their secondary support woefully inadequate.
I am confused about what’s up with Jimmy. I don’t understand why he was pushing Clark so hard to not go to the pool. Does he see Clark’s pain and not want to leave him alone? Is he just oblivious? Why can’t Clark go to the pool and Jimmy the casino if that’s what they each want?
I thought this chapter clarified many of Lois & Clark's issues and concerns.
Last edited by cuidadora; 08/28/14 08:58 AM. Reason: remove my ramblings
Cuidadora
"Honey, we didn't care if you were a Russian or a Martian... You were ours... and we weren't giving you to anybody." ~ Martha in Strange Visitor
"A love that risks nothing is worth nothing." ~ Jonathan in Big Girls Don't Fly
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Excellent chapter, it puts a lot of things into perspective. I don't think Clark can consider that Lois cheated on/lied to him during the investigation any longer. Once he figures out what she knows, when she knew it about the torture and the Luthor non-death it will become crystal clear that she has and will continue to protect him regardless of its impact on her. In her view his well being comes first which is very telling. Nice to see this version of Lois back.
Again nice long chapter that covers a lot of ground and sets things up for Clark's return from Las Vegas if he doesn't kill Jimmy first and get arrested there...
Mike
Create all the happiness you are able to create. Remove all the misery you are able to remove.
Jeremy Bentham
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More comments! cuidadora: Thank you for dropping in on this discussion. I welcome all viewpoints. I’ve only joined the boards recently, and am still reading the first half of this story. So I may have a different perspective, and apologize if I miss some important facts. Your facts seem pretty accurate to me. What I see when I read this part is both Lois and Clark hurting emotionally, and Clark also physically, with both of their support systems inadequate. Okay, their primary support systems are probably each other, and right now they’re thousands of miles apart. They can’t talk on the phone with Lois’s justifiable concerns about surveillance. And Clark doesn’t know her concerns, so he doesn’t understand. Yea! That was what I was trying to convey. Both are floundering, and their secondary support woefully inadequate. Clark can't clearly tell Jimmy what went on without telling him more than Clark wants to tell, or can tell. At the moment, Lois is confused by what she learned at Lex's penthouse and nervous (ala how she acted during Invisible Man scare) that someone with an obvious beef against her might be out to get her. She doesn't want to risk Luthor using anyone else to get to her or Perry thinking that she's seriously has gone crazy. I am confused about what’s up with Jimmy. I don’t understand why he was pushing Clark so hard to not go to the pool. Does he see Clark’s pain and not want to leave him alone? Is he just oblivious? Why can’t Clark go to the pool and Jimmy the casino if that’s what they each want? As Jimmy said back in Part 181: “Every one of us sacrificed something to save the Planet,” Jimmy said. “Unfortunately, it just wasn’t enough.” Remember, Clark may have spent the last couple days in Lex's kryptonite cage, but Jimmy was only let out of jail the previous day. He's been in jail for months, and his mind has been focusing on that. Clark's injuries are more internal and not obvious to sight. The guys came to Vegas together, so it is assumed that their activities should be together, at least initially. More on Jimmy and his motivations, coming up in the next part. I thought this chapter clarified many of Lois & Clark's issues and concerns. I'm glad to read this. Thank you for your comments. Mike M: Thank you for stopping by. Excellent chapter, it puts a lot of things into perspective. I don't think Clark can consider that Lois cheated on/lied to him during the investigation any longer. Once he figures out what she knows, when she knew it about the torture and the Luthor non-death it will become crystal clear that she has and will continue to protect him regardless of its impact on her. In her view his well being comes first which is very telling. Nice to see this version of Lois back. Thank you. While his visit to Cat made Clark worry needlessly at first, she also reassured him that Lois DID NOT CHEAT on him. He trusts Cat's judgment, and knows that his friend would not tell him this unless she honestly believed it. (Because if Cat honestly believed that Lois was with Lex, she wouldn't hesitate in stating so.) Cat told him in her note (which Phil passed to Clark before he left their apartment) that she was going to prove to him that Lois didn't cheat on him. Right now, Clark is plagued more by guilt on having doubted Lois's loyalty, by the images on Lex's sex tape which were pretty damning, and dealing with coping with these things without his powers. Even though, Clark knows that it wasn't Lois on the tape, his memory replays the images, which tell him otherwise... hence his torment. Again nice long chapter that covers a lot of ground and sets things up for Clark's return from Las Vegas if he doesn't kill Jimmy first and get arrested there... Why does everyone naturally assume that Jimmy will die just because he doesn't show up in Metropolis over the next three years? Oh. Even though, some might consider this a spoiler, Clark doesn't kill Jimmy... although, he might be tempted to at some points. Thank you all for your comments.
Last edited by VirginiaR; 08/29/14 02:46 AM. Reason: clarification
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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If they could make it past this and if he ever forgave her for lying to him. But she has never promised not to lie to him, has she? She didn’t need a man to protect her, but – damn – she wanted him to surround her with his love and chase her demons away. She wanted him to be there with her. CLARK: I wanted to do that. She *told* me not to do that! Can I get the manual please? And maybe see the warranty card? Until he could be, she would be there for him. She would protect him as best she could.
Until Clark got his powers back, Lois didn’t want him anywhere near Metropolis. At least, not until they had Lex Luthor back under lock and key. So, it’s okay for Lois to protect him without his say in the matter? LOIS: It’s called a double standard. Probably something honorable and stupid, such as go after Luthor without powers. Like she does? What she was suggesting was crazy. Insane. Impossible. Those were his exact words. Has he *met* her? Does he *know* the odds? To whom else had Luthor handed copies of her keys? Maybe per dead-man-mail to every sex offender in town? Were the men who installed her surveillance going to return to try and secretly remove it? Every time the phone rang, Lois shrank away from it, scared she might hear the voice from her premonition over the line. Therefore, Lois was going to her mother’s because she felt safer there. Maybe if she opened the gas line and left a spray can in the microwave before heading outside? Of all the people she had ever exposed, she had screwed over Lex Luthor the worse. She knew that. Because of her, he had lost everything: his money, his power, and even his life, as he had known it. So, he might come after her and try to do the same to her? Luthor would either hunt her down and kill her with his bare hands or be even more infatuated and drop to his knees in open adoration, begging her to run away with him. It was her curse. She just didn’t cause indifference in men. CARLOS: So, you’re Ms. Lane, huh? Nice to meet you. /moves on to other things/ He was alive, and nobody knew it other than her. Oh, sure, for some strange reason Henderson had said that he believed her. She could see that he didn’t want to, and yet he still had said that he did. BILL: If I tell her I believe her, she’ll go away. If she’s right and Lex gets her, I’ll have peace and quiet. If she’s right and she gets Lex, I’ll have a promotion and she won’t be able to tell me ‘I told you so.’ And if she’s wrong, she’ll first be occupied forever trying to prove she’s right, then she’ll never speak of if again. Either which way, I win. He had even said that there was already an officer guarding Luthor’s private parking garage. What if the cop starts to put the cars on ebay? Although, the wealthy were famous for squirreling away money where governments couldn't find it. Like the millions in her name? LOIS: I’m filthy rich? Apparently, Luthor’s sources at the MPD had done what he had bribed them to do. They had informed Nigel St. John of the impending legal action against Luthor. Therefore, his trusty manservant had packed a suitcase, filled with money kept at the manor house, and taken off for Gotham City’s airport, where he had booked a flight to England under the name of Nicholas Janacek. LEX: In fact, they had set up a trap for him outside of Wayne Manor. The playboy billionaire, evidentially, had been none too pleased to have his roadway blocked. COM GORDON: I didn’t want to call Batman for this. The last time he intervened, he used one of his bat missiles to blow the get-a-way (sic) car sky high and we never found more than a couple of bloody pieces of Catwoman’s leather suit. The FBI had St. John in a Gotham City holding cell, so Lois doubted that Henderson had yet had the opportunity to grill him about the elevators. And why does Lois think Nigel will still be there come the morrow? Lois and her mother had been given clean bills of health, at least from the first round of tests on Luthor’s blood, which had been a relief. Wouldn’t it be awkward if Lex had himself injected with a Kryptonite solution and now Lois would also have tiny fragments of Kryptonite infused in her skin? Lois hadn’t heard the director’s response, only Henderson’s reply, “No, earthbound non-human kind, as in an animal.” DIRT DIGGER: Lex Luthor Did Animals! Dr. Victor Frank von Stein (name changed to protect source) of Star Labs has confirmed to us that the deceased criminal mastermind Lex Luthor has been tested for sexually transmitted diseases usually found in animals… If Lex Luthor had put a mask on Clark’s face making him look like the billionaire and shoved him off the balcony while he was vulnerable… Henderson might as well have arrested her right then for murder, she had thought, because Luthor would be a dead man at her earliest opportunity. Yes, but officially, Lex would already have been dead, wouldn’t he have? American entertainment productions show us that you cannot be convicted for a murder that of a legally dead person. Or something of the like. Then she realized that the director might have been implying that she and Henderson thought that Luthor was Superman. She pressed her lips together. Well…Lex did have some video recordings of himself as Superman seducing Lois Lane. Lois started with her laundry, beginning with several hand wash loads of all her delicates. So she has nice, clean clothes to wear when she starts her new job as the primary concubine of the First Lord of New Krypton? In fact, she wanted to take all of her clothes, any bit of her life that Luthor could have touched and throw it out the window, getting rid of it forever. What about her skin? Since she already tanked her hair, shouldn’t she also get a full-body chemical peeling? LOIS: face, arms, hands, and neck only, thank you very much. That wasn’t practicable since she was currently unemployed. There’s a number of professions where she wouldn’t need clothing. It didn’t surprise her in the least that this kind of staged interview was what LNN considered news. What if she went off-book during the live interview? After Lois had finished laughing, she gave him a comment they couldn’t quote on television. “Please tell your bosses to take that statement, form it into a pipe, and insert it in the appropriate place on their body?” Had Woolfe and his team remembered to remove the camera in her shower? Why should they, provided they now have the recording equipment? Had they left it up and were viewing her at their leisure? See? No. She might not respect him as much as Henderson, but she doubted Woolfe would be that low. RALPH: Lois had stepped out of her shower and wrapped a towel around her body. Then she had climbed up on the edge of it to look at the spot where Superman… Clark had pointed out where he had found the hidden camera. She going to find one? Her wet feet slipped on the edge My first reaction was Clark’s going to hear her scream and come rushing to catch a newly denuded Lois before she smacks into the tub. Then I remembered that he’s currently sans power and watching newly denuded strippers in Las Vegas instead. He prefers blonde ones. And now I’m all Still, her butt landed with a hard bump on the bathmat. No head smash? No amnesia? No split-open skull? No temporal reset? With Clark on his way to Vegas, and without powers, nobody would have come to her rescue. She had been lucky that she hadn’t hit the edge of the counter. Maybe that will teach her to be more careful and, for instance, not go after Lex alone. LOIS: Lois had to admit having the washer and drier in her apartment was terribly handy as she washed every single washable piece of clothing she owned. Bit of a hypocrite, huh? She marked on her to-do list to request that Mr. Tracewski remove the offending machines as soon as possible. Okay, more of an opportunist than a hypocrite. Say, what if Lex had special bio-sample pockets installed in the drier that would inject his cooties into the drying process? It would be like he rolled nude in her freshly cleaned clothes ? She didn’t need anything else in her life to remind her of that horrible man. What about Clark and his ongoing feud with Lex? She had already called up her landlord and asked if there was another top floor apartment into which she could move. Unfortunately, the only available apartment was on the first floor, number 105 Also, couldn’t she take her fish out into the hallway, spray the walls and the floor with gasoline, throw a burning matchbook inside, and then move back in once the fire damage has been renovated? Might have a couple less walls, e.g. between living room and kitchen and living room and bedroom and bedroom and bath. Or tick off Joe the Blow. What was the matter with her? She was acting like a giddy schoolgirl with a crush. Well…she’s supposed to be on her honeymoon. Maybe society’s is conditioning finally paying off and her subconscious hasn’t picked up yet on the fact that her former beau is now disgusting goo? She would appear like a desperate lovesick fool to Jimmy, or Clark might think that she couldn’t handle being in Metropolis without him (or Superman) to protect her. Maybe if she feigned breathlessness and a quivering voice when she’s whispering ‘Clark? Clark? Please…I need you…Please come back…They’re…’ Then a pause, some clattering and a bank and she could scream ‘Claaaa!’ before clicking the phone off. That way, Jimmy would think Lois is calling for help instead of posting a love message for Superman. That certainly wasn’t true. She had taken care of herself, for the most part, for twenty-six years. Yeah, but we all know how that turned out the last time and that the year #27 is usually the bitch. She would hate to have anyone think she was clingy. Why would we ever think that after PML?
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Lois hung up before this message got any worse. She didn’t know who that person was who had just left a message, but it sure as heck didn’t sound like her. Maybe it’s the frog DNA slowing transforming her? The apartment suddenly seemed quiet, apart from the hum of the dryer. Too quiet. She ran into her bedroom, stuffed some of her folded clothes from her bed into an overnight bag, grabbed her purse off her dresser, and returned to the living room. Oh dear. Is she going to leave the dryer on and the machine will catch fire and burn down her apartment and the rest of the building, too? It dinged, announcing its arrival, before she reached it, so she turned quickly and went down the stairs, not wanting to meet whoever it might be. Like the obligatory serial killer visiting her? and shop for a swimsuit for Clark, Red briefs? This is my fifteen minutes and I’m not sharing it,” Hoping to score some local tail from his interview? “Fame is overrated,” Clark replied. “And the only glory I desire is the self-worth I feel at having done a good job, having helped people, and the chance to get criminals off the street.” And yet he dresses up in primary colors, gives interviews, and does poses for the ladies-folk. “It’s going to take a whole heck of a lot to get Luthor off the street, now,” Jimmy guffawed, holding up his hands as if to indicate that he knew it was a bad joke. That didn’t stop his laughter. Nah, some hard rain or maybe a firehose and you’re good. “The man’s dead,” Clark said somberly. Hence the jolly mood all around. He had never laughed at another’s death and he wouldn’t start now. He wouldn’t rejoice. The man basically made a home movie of himself and a fiancée and published it on vinetube. Clark was lucky that he hadn’t needed to choose whether he should rescue him. One less person in the world like Lex Luthor would make his life easier. What if other crime bosses also ‘got the urge’ to jump off the top floor of some skyscraper or other? He was a power-hungry, control freak , , His brow furrowed. He opened his mouth to ask Jimmy exactly how he could have been able to ‘get some’ if his girlfriend had been engaged to another man for months. Lois wouldn’t appreciate the implication of the statement, He does realize that they quite frequently made out while she was engaged to another man. And the only reason they hadn’t ended up in her bed was because of Lois’s big brother. including during sex, any of which broken would have been grounds for her dumping him in an instant. So, no superhuman feats? LANA: My fiancé really sucks in bed. He was bound and determined not to have this ruin his life. It wouldn’t take months, let alone years, before he felt comfortable in Lois’s presence again. I suddenly sense quite a parallel to how Lana felt about Clark. I wonder if Clark is going to go all Lana on Lois. Like forbid her from ever calling out Lex’s name in the throes of their passion. Or do him on the living room couch. Or in their bedroom. Or be topless in front of him. From the bushes appeared Annalee Cooke, mudslinger for the local WLEX station, and because she was on television she had her cameraman with her. Is that why female reporters usually carry mace in their purses? Annalee had followed, taking Lois’s snide comment as encouragement. “Are you angry at Lex Luthor for his apparent suicide before your wedding vows could be spoken, therefore leaving you penniless?” I wonder if the microphone might fit into a human mouth… chocolate ice cream, she had picked , She took four huge scoops out of ice cream The ‘out’ and the ‘of’ don’t sound like they go together… putting them into the bowl, and then stuck the bowl into her freezer. When it had melted, she poured the topping into the hole of her half-gallon container and covered it with whipped cream from a can, and nuts. LOIS: What? I’m no longer engaged, my boyfriend’s off in Vegas doing who knows whom, and thus am I not entitled to fudging? She topped it off with a crushed Double Fudge Crunch Bar she had stomped on with her shoe. Her mother who had once placed Sam Lane’s name down there with the devil Well…she needed a slot for Lex’s name? Or, as Lois’s mother had put it, “Lois’s failed marriage to Lex Luthor.” Lois had been sent home!
Unneeded.
Unwanted. Would she have preferred to sleep in the living room, listening to her parents getting ‘re-aquiented’? She didn’t really want to eat chocolate. The frog DNA has already taken over! Quick, someone x-ray her ancle. Could she talk to Clark without somehow letting him know that Luthor was still alive, she was freaking out about it, or making him feel guilty for taking care of himself for once? Wouldn’t it be awkward if Lex broke into her apartment this very night and carried Lois off to the arc, but left a Lois-clone behind? Okay, you said no clones, so maybe a dead body of the fake Lois. They could use acid to mangle her face just enough to hide the reconstructive scars? Lois stuck another spoonful of chocolate goo into her mouth as she weighed her options, once more. She could first eat the sundae then go out running off the sugar high? Also, frumpy Lois sounds adorable! Michael
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Darth Michael: Oh, now that Michael has commented does that mean I should post the next part? /just joking; I've actually been writing and rewriting the current part I'm working on because I just can't get it to feel right, which means Part 186 won't post early after all. Characters. You tell them what to do and why the feel the way they do and they still go off and do whatever they want anyway./ Thanks for your inspiring giggles. But she has never promised not to lie to him, has she? Isn't lying to him what got their relationship in trouble in the first place? CLARK: LOIS: No, it was a combo of Luthor being a creep and *Clark* lying to me. CLARK: /confused/ I wanted to do that. She *told* me not to do that! Can I get the manual please? And maybe see the warranty card? LOIS: I never told you to protect me. I still don't need you to protect me. But you might need to protect Luthor if he comes anywhere near me. CLARK: I think I'll be out of town that day. So, it’s okay for Lois to protect him without his say in the matter? LOIS: It’s called a double standard. Ah... so Michael sees what's going on. LOIS: What? Are you saying I'm not allowed to do that? Probably something honorable and stupid, such as go after Luthor without powers. Like she does? LOIS: But that's different. I never have powers. Has he *met* her? Does he *know* the odds? Yes, but Henderson can't help a few digs along the way. Maybe per dead-man-mail to every sex offender in town? CLARK: Why did I leave town again? LOIS: Don't ask me. Maybe if she opened the gas line and left a spray can in the microwave before heading outside? So Clark could forgive her for killing a bunch of her innocent neighbors, because she was doing it to stay safe? So, he might come after her and try to do the same to her? LEX: I've already tried that. Plan D: make her my sex slave. NIGEL: Um... sir, how exactly is that different from plans A-C? It was her curse. She just didn’t cause indifference in men. CARLOS: So, you’re Ms. Lane, huh? Nice to meet you. /moves on to other things/ That's one possibility. CARLOS: /points to collar/ That the *only* possibility, you mean. EW: Sure, sure. Of course. Anything else would just be cruel, inhumane punishment. CARLOS: I hate Evil Writers. BILL: If I tell her I believe her, she’ll go away. If she’s right and Lex gets her, I’ll have peace and quiet. If she’s right and she gets Lex, I’ll have a promotion and she won’t be able to tell me ‘I told you so.’ And if she’s wrong, she’ll first be occupied forever trying to prove she’s right, then she’ll never speak of if again. Either which way, I win. Or maybe he has another reason for believing her. CAT: What if the cop starts to put the cars on ebay? eBay was founded in 1995. DIRTY COP: Darn. EW: Anyway, he doesn't have any of the keys. COP: /opens door and points to visor/ You mean like these keys? Like the millions in her name? LOIS: I’m filthy rich? /Tahiti, here I come!/ LEX: Maybe I didn't do that in this dimension. LOIS: Say, what? I thought you were kidding. You actually left me money in another dimension. Also, I've always wondered how a bank account in her name, which was probably earning TONS of money in interested, was never red flagged by the IRS because she never claimed that interest on her tax returns. It's not like it was some account in the Cayman Islands or something. NIGEL: I knew this obsession with the reporter lady would backfire eventually. COM GORDON: I didn’t want to call Batman for this. The last time he intervened, he used one of his bat missiles to blow the get-a-way (sic) car sky high and we never found more than a couple of bloody pieces of Catwoman’s leather suit. CATWOMAN: Why am I tied up in your mansion, Mr. Wayne? And why does Lois think Nigel will still be there come the morrow? Ooopps. Wouldn’t it be awkward if Lex had himself injected with a Kryptonite solution and now Lois would also have tiny fragments of Kryptonite infused in her skin? So, it's a good thing that they gave her a chemical detox shower then? DIRT DIGGER: Lex Luthor Did Animals! Dr. Victor Frank von Stein (name changed to protect source) of Star Labs has confirmed to us that the deceased criminal mastermind Lex Luthor has been tested for sexually transmitted diseases usually found in animals… CAT: And they call this news? He was engaged to a Mad Dog. Of course, he liked animals. XERXES: /Runs off to find new home in the country/ Yes, but officially, Lex would already have been dead, wouldn’t he have? American entertainment productions show us that you cannot be convicted for a murder that of a legally dead person. Or something of the like. HENDERSON: But she could still be charged with desecrating a corpse. Well…Lex did have some video recordings of himself as Superman seducing Lois Lane. And you too can own that for as little as $29.99. Send your check or money order to Lex Porn Studios, Burbank, CA LUCY: What do you mean it isn't really acting? I didn't enjoy playing my sister, but you believed I did, didn't you? So she has nice, clean clothes to wear when she starts her new job as the primary concubine of the First Lord of New Krypton? That works for me. What about her skin? Since she already tanked her hair, shouldn’t she also get a full-body chemical peeling? LOIS: /razz/ face, arms, hands, and neck only, thank you very much. Apparently, you've forgotten that they gave her one of those chemical showers for people exposed to bio-hazards. There’s a number of professions where she wouldn’t need clothing. INVISIBLE MAN: I've got a new line of clothing where it is invisible but the wearer remains seen. You could model them for my photo shoot. What if she went off-book during the live interview? I'm sure they wouldn't air it live, so it would be edited before broadcast. “Please tell your bosses to take that statement, form it into a pipe, and insert it in the appropriate place on their body?” ROBINSON: But, Ms. Lane, you know that it is against the law in Metropolis to smoke in the place of business unless one own said company and is worth at least 10 million dollars. Why should they, provided they now have the recording equipment? WOOLFE: Yeah, who cares what Lane is saying? It's more important what she's doing. Pass the popcorn, will ya? No. She might not respect him as much as Henderson, but she doubted Woolfe would be that low. RALPH: /wave/ WOOLFE: Are you saying that I have anything in common with that slime? It's much easier to look when someone floats her up there. My first reaction was /excited/ Clark’s going to hear her scream and come rushing to catch a newly denuded Lois before she smacks into the tub. Then I remembered that he’s currently sans power and watching newly denuded strippers in Las Vegas instead. He prefers blonde ones. And now I’m all /worried about Lois's safety/ First of all, this was a flashback to what Lois did during the afternoon after Henderson dropped her off, so Clark wasn't watching strippers. He was still on the plane. JIMMY: Say it isn't so! Still, her butt landed with a hard bump on the bathmat. /huh/ No head smash? No amnesia? No split-open skull? No temporal reset? /confused. Does not compute./ works both ways, Michael. Maybe that will teach her to be more careful and, for instance, not go after Lex alone. LOIS: /finds this idea hilariously funny for some strange unknown reason/ Because Lex will come to her? It comes with having double standards. Okay, more of an opportunist than a hypocrite. Say, what if Lex had special bio-sample pockets installed in the drier that would inject his cooties into the drying process? It would be like he rolled nude in her freshly cleaned clothes ? /evil reader strikes again/ WOOLFE: I don't understand it, Inspector, we keep asking the dogs to sniff out Mr. Luthor and they keep bringing us to Ms. Lane's apartment. What about Clark and his ongoing feud with Lex? CLARK: I'm willing to give it up since he's dead. Also, couldn’t she take her fish out into the hallway, spray the walls and the floor with gasoline, throw a burning matchbook inside, and then move back in once the fire damage has been renovated? Might have a couple less walls, e.g. between living room and kitchen and living room and bedroom and bedroom and bath. Or tick off Joe the Blow. RENTER'S INSURANCE: I'm sorry, we don't cover intentional torching of your rental. You'll have to pay to fix the place and all of your damaged belongs yourself. Well…she’s supposed to be on her honeymoon. Maybe society’s is conditioning finally paying off and her subconscious hasn’t picked up yet on the fact that her former beau is now disgusting goo? Soo, it's too bad Clark didn't take her to Las Vegas? Maybe if she feigned breathlessness and a quivering voice when she’s whispering ‘Clark? Clark? Please…I need you…Please come back…They’re…’ Then a pause, some clattering and a bank and she could scream ‘Claaaa!’ before clicking the phone off. That way, Jimmy would think Lois is calling for help instead of posting a love message for Superman. That might take of Jimmy, but Clark would end up with a heart attack. CLARK: Hey, that's not nice to call Superman when you're not in trouble. LOIS: /pouting/ But, Clarkie, I was having trouble reaching... the zipper of my dress... yeah, my zipper without you. Come home and help me with my zipper, big boy. It wasn't until the third reading that I realized what Lois's message could also mean. Yeah, but we all know how that turned out the last time and that the year #27 is usually the bitch. Because her boyfriend freezes her to death? Why would we ever think that after PML? JIMMY: /scratches head/ I don't recall what Lois did during that incident. How about you, boss? PERRY: Lois? Hmmmm. No, I don't recall seeing her. Did she even come into work?
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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-- Continuation of response to Darth Michael's FDK --Maybe it’s the frog DNA slowing transforming her? LOIS: Into brainless bimbette? Yes, I could believe that. Oh dear. Is she going to leave the dryer on and the machine will catch fire and burn down her apartment and the rest of the building, too? Is there some reason that you want Lois to end up homeless? Like the obligatory serial killer visiting her? Exactly. They *never* take the stairs. and shop for a swimsuit for Clark, Red briefs? He doesn't have them with him, so no. More on Clark's swimsuit in Part 186. Hoping to score some local tail from his interview? JIMMY: It doesn't have to be local. And yet he dresses up in primary colors, gives interviews, and does poses for the ladies-folk. SUPERMAN: That's all part of the act. Nah, some hard rain or maybe a firehose and you’re good. So, you don't think it would stain. LEX: /looking at stain in concrete on Lex Plaza/ Mrs. Cox, I'm beginning to think we shouldn't have used that cheap grade of cement on my plaza. “The man’s dead,” Clark said somberly. Hence the jolly mood all around. The man basically made a home movie of himself and a fiancée and published it on vinetube. CLARK: And that's a reason to celebrate his death? (the night before at the bar) JIMMY: Let's raise our glasses again to celebrate that Jerk's demise! CLARK: / / Only if it's champagne. Luthor deserves our very best send-off! Who wants to pee on Lex Plaza with me? /How Henderson really discovered that Clark was drunk the night before/ /ER has an idea/ What if other crime bosses also ‘got the urge’ to jump off the top floor of some skyscraper or other? SUPERMAN: It seems my work here is done. I'm taking a vacation. See you all at Disney World! /flies Lois to a deserted island to concentrate on B-Plot for a while/ PERRY: Who would have believed that Senator Black, my old friend Bill Church and his son, and Diana Stride were all criminals? , [x3] Thanks, Fixed. He does realize that they quite frequently made out while she was engaged to another man. And the only reason they hadn’t ended up in her bed was because of Lois’s big brother. Uncle Tempos? Or Grandpa Wells? So, no superhuman feats? LANA: My fiancé really sucks in bed. CLARK: /points to list/ Well, kissing isn't allowed so I improvised. Lana had broken up with him originally for floating during the first time they were intimate and then dropping her the foot back to the bed when she screamed. I suddenly sense quite a parallel to how Lana felt about Clark. I wonder if Clark is going to go all Lana on Lois. Like forbid her from ever calling out Lex’s name in the throes of their passion. Or do him on the living room couch. Or in their bedroom. Or be topless in front of him. Well, probably yes on the first three. Since he didn't see the last one, I'd go with no. LOIS: So, you're saying I should move and throw out my furniture? Is that why female reporters usually carry mace in their purses? LOIS: I brought the wrong purse. All I have here is whipped cream. I wonder if the microphone might fit into a human mouth… LOIS: Good idea! Let's test it. She took four huge scoops out of ice cream The ‘out’ and the ‘of’ don’t sound like they go together… This is what I get when I change things after I let the betas read it. How about "She took out four huge scoops of ice cream..."?? LOIS: What? I’m no longer engaged, my boyfriend’s off in Vegas doing who knows whom, and thus am I not entitled to fudging? She had a bad week. She topped it off with a crushed Double Fudge Crunch Bar she had stomped on with her shoe. ER: /That poor defenseless DFCB/ It's easier to eat if it's broken up though. Well…she needed a slot for Lex’s name? Would she have preferred to sleep in the living room, listening to her parents getting ‘re-aquiented’? LOIS: Please. No. I don't want those nightmare again. The frog DNA has already taken over! Quick, someone x-ray her ancle. But chocolate is her substitute for Clark, so when she realizes that chocolate isn't doing it for her, it's because she knows it's really Clark that she wants. EW: /hands Lois a Clark bar to shut her up./ LOIS: Thanks. Wouldn’t it be awkward if Lex broke into her apartment this very night and carried Lois off to the arc, but left a Lois-clone behind? Okay, you said no clones, so maybe a dead body of the fake Lois. They could use acid to mangle her face just enough to hide the reconstructive scars? Yes, there are many roads ahead I could choose from, isn't there? I'm thinking the one I take will surprise you. She could first eat the sundae then go out running off the sugar high? Oh, that's right. She still has the treadmill. LOIS: Also, frumpy Lois sounds adorable! She is, isn't she? LOIS: /contented sigh/ Thanks, I needed to hear... Wait. What? Thanks for your comments and magic comma fixer.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Oh, now that Michael has commented does that mean I should post the next part? Oh dear? Characters. You tell them what to do and why the feel the way they do and they still go off and do whatever they want anyway./ Like Lois doing Clark? Thanks for your inspiring giggles. You’re welcome! LOIS: No, it was a combo of Luthor being a creep and *Clark* lying to me. Clark still has a lot to learn about how his woman is always right, doesn’t he? LOIS: I never told you to protect me. I still don't need you to protect me. But you might need to protect Luthor if he comes anywhere near me. CLARK: I think I'll be out of town that day. So, he then gets to visit Lois in jail? LOIS: But that's different. I never have powers. And that makes it okay, because? So Clark could forgive her for killing a bunch of her innocent neighbors, because she was doing it to stay safe? LOIS: CLARK: What where we talking aobut? LEX: I've already tried that. Plan D: make her my sex slave. NIGEL: Um... sir, how exactly is that different from plans A-C? They still tried to dress it in social norms and niceties while Plan D goes straight for the gist? CARLOS: /points to collar/ That the *only* possibility, you mean. EW: Sure, sure. Of course. Anything else would just be cruel, inhumane punishment. CARLOS: I hate Evil Writers. That’s not very priestly of him. Shouldn’t he be forgiving of every sinner? CARLOS: I forgave those creeps who nearly beat me to death. Isn’t that enough for one story? EW: Anyway, he doesn't have any of the keys. COP: /opens door and points to visor/ You mean like these keys? Also, I've always wondered how a bank account in her name, which was probably earning TONS of money in interested, was never red flagged by the IRS because she never claimed that interest on her tax returns. It's not like it was some account in the Cayman Islands or something. Well…over here, if it’s a regular bank account and not an investment of some sort, the interest tax will get deducted automatically when you retrieve your money. Or rather, the interest will already be deducted the tax before it’s added to the total balance. CATWOMAN: Why am I tied up in your mansion, Mr. Wayne? BATMAN: We are now going to conduct an in-depth interrogation. So, it's a good thing that they gave her a chemical detox shower then? It peeled her top skin all over? CAT: And they call this news? He was engaged to a Mad Dog. Of course, he liked animals. XERXES: /Runs off to find new home in the country/ HENDERSON: But she could still be charged with desecrating a corpse. LOIS: What’s that? 50 dollar fine? LUCY: What do you mean it isn't really acting? I didn't enjoy playing my sister, but you believed I did, didn't you? Apparently, you've forgotten that they gave her one of those chemical showers for people exposed to bio-hazards. I really didn’t expect the shower to actually burn off her top skin layer like it does with chemical peelings. In the middle ages, they called this flaying and people weren’t too fond of it. Now, they actually pay money for it. INVISIBLE MAN: I've got a new line of clothing where it is invisible but the wearer remains seen. You could model them for my photo shoot. WOOLFE: Yeah, who cares what Lane is saying? It's more important what she's doing. Pass the popcorn, will ya? […] WOOLFE: Are you saying that I have anything in common with that slime? /points at popcorn/ Because Lex will come to her? He wouldn’t, would he? What if Lois got hold of a spatula? WOOLFE: I don't understand it, Inspector, we keep asking the dogs to sniff out Mr. Luthor and they keep bringing us to Ms. Lane's apartment. Maybe she’s preggers with Lex’s love child? Soo, it's too bad Clark didn't take her to Las Vegas? LOIS: /pouting/ But, Clarkie, I was having trouble reaching... the zipper of my dress... yeah, my zipper without you. Come home and help me with my zipper, big boy.
It wasn't until the third reading that I realized what Lois's message could also mean. blush Hmm…I can see only one meaning Quote: Yeah, but we all know how that turned out the last time and that the year #27 is usually the bitch. Because her boyfriend freezes her to death? I was thinking of her stay at the home for the mentally unstable and her subsequent helicopter flight Is there some reason that you want Lois to end up homeless? She usually moves in with Clark after her apartment burns down. SUPERMAN: That's all part of the act. LOIS: And what do you call the lipstick stains on your colar? CLARK: // Only if it's champagne. Luthor deserves our very best send-off! Who wants to pee on Lex Plaza with me? /How Henderson really discovered that Clark was drunk the night before/ Uncle Tempos? Or Grandpa Wells? No, Son-Y Monocle. CLARK: /points to list/ Well, kissing isn't allowed so I improvised.
Lana had broken up with him originally for floating during the first time they were intimate and then dropping her the foot back to the bed when she screamed. Yes. But he still apparently wasn’t able to please her in other ways. Well, probably yes on the first three. Since he didn't see the last one, I'd go with no. But she was topless when she engaged with Lex on her living room couch. LOIS: So, you're saying I should move and throw out my furniture? How about "She took out four huge scoops of ice cream..."?? LOIS: shock Please. No. I don't want those nightmare again. CLAUDE: So, *that’s* why she was all cold and fishy? But chocolate is her substitute for Clark, so when she realizes that chocolate isn't doing it for her, it's because she knows it's really Clark that she wants. EW: /hands Lois a Clark bar to shut her up./ LOIS: Thanks. Oh, that's right. She still has the treadmill. LOIS: <prefers to run in the park. At night. Without mace.> Quote: Also, frumpy Lois sounds adorable! She is, isn't she? LOIS: /contented sigh/ Thanks, I needed to hear... Wait. What? <doesn’t like being described as adorable> Thanks for your lol comments and magic comma fixer. Michael
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EW: Oh, now that Michael has commented does that mean I should post the next part? ER: Oh dear? /peep/ Although, that plan could back fire on me, if you start commenting on the day I post. CLARK: No, I think I'd have remembered that. LOIS: Clark still has a lot to learn about how his woman is always right, doesn’t he? CLARK: But... but... but... What if she isn't? So, he then gets to visit Lois in jail? Oh, wait. That's a different story. LOIS: But that's different. I never have powers. ER: And that makes it okay, because? LOIS: Hurting people when you have powers isn't nice. Hurting people when you don't have powers is human. CLARK: Did you just say I can't hurt anyone because I'm Kryptonian? NOR: I never found that a problem. LEX: I've already tried that. Plan D: make her my sex slave. NIGEL: Um... sir, how exactly is that different from plans A-C? ER: They still tried to dress it in social norms and niceties while Plan D goes straight for the gist? LOIS: I don't wear a concubine costume for just anyone. CARLOS: /points to collar/ That the *only* possibility, you mean. EW: Sure, sure. Of course. Anything else would just be cruel, inhumane punishment. CARLOS: I hate Evil Writers. ER: That’s not very priestly of him. Shouldn’t he be forgiving of every sinner? CARLOS: I forgave those creeps who nearly beat me to death. Isn’t that enough for one story? It's a process. Give him time. Well…over here, if it’s a regular bank account and not an investment of some sort, the interest tax will get deducted automatically when you retrieve your money. Or rather, the interest will already be deducted the tax before it’s added to the total balance. Nah. Banks don't do that sort of thing here. Too much paperwork. I bet it was just one of those non-interest bearing accounts; therefore, no reason to red-flag the IRS. CATWOMAN: Why am I tied up in your mansion, Mr. Wayne? BATMAN: We are now going to conduct an in-depth interrogation. CATWOMAN: Yes, I admit to stealing the necklace. Now, what? BATMAN: But... but... but... I didn't get to ask any questions yet. It peeled her top skin all over? No, it just felt like it. HENDERSON: But she could still be charged with desecrating a corpse. LOIS: What’s that? 50 dollar fine? HENDERSON: Depends on the corpse. With Lex Luthor, I'm allowed to give you the Key to the City as well. EW: Apparently, you've forgotten that they gave her one of those chemical showers for people exposed to bio-hazards. ER: I really didn’t expect the shower to actually burn off her top skin layer like it does with chemical peelings. In the middle ages, they called this flaying and people weren’t too fond of it. Now, they actually pay money for it. I think in the middle ages, they didn't take just the top level of skin. They took all of them. WOOLFE: Yeah, who cares what Lane is saying? It's more important what she's doing. Pass the popcorn, will ya? […] WOOLFE: Are you saying that I have anything in common with that slime? ER: /points at popcorn/ LEX: Quite so. I don't eat popcorn. TEMPUS: That was me! EW: Because Lex will come to her? ER: He wouldn’t, would he? What if Lois got hold of a spatula? LEX: Lois, put down the spatula, please, darling. You know that I can take you out for dinner. Please don't make me eat your cooking. Maybe she’s preggers with Lex’s love child? LOIS: Kill me. Kill me now. EW: Soo, it's too bad Clark didn't take her to Las Vegas? ER: /imagines what that would have looked like/ Eh. The story is still young. LOIS: /pouting/ But, Clarkie, I was having trouble reaching... the zipper of my dress... yeah, my zipper without you. Come home and help me with my zipper, big boy.
EW: It wasn't until the third reading that I realized what Lois's message could also mean. blush ER: /pretending that he's a literalist/ Hmm…I can see only one meaning Oh, then it was just my dirty mind. My bad. ER: Yeah, but we all know how that turned out the last time and that the year #27 is usually the bitch. EW: Because her boyfriend freezes her to death? ER: I was thinking of her stay at the home for the mentally unstable and her subsequent helicopter flight LOIS: Yeah, that wasn't fun either. She usually moves in with Clark after her apartment burns down. Well, there was also that time she stayed with Jimbo. PRANKSTER: SUPERMAN: That's all part of the act. LOIS: And what do you call the lipstick stains on your colar? SUPERMAN: My uniform doesn't have a collar, Lois. What are you driving at? CLARK: /points to list/ Well, kissing isn't allowed so I improvised.
EW: Lana had broken up with him originally for floating during the first time they were intimate and then dropping her the foot back to the bed when she screamed. ER: Yes. But he still apparently wasn’t able to please her in other ways. There could be another reason for that. CLARK: That I'm just horrible in the sack? That's my true curse. EW: Well, probably yes on the first three. Since he didn't see the last one, I'd go with no. ER: But she was topless when she engaged with Lex on her living room couch. But Clark only saw the scene from the back, therefore, seeing her topless from the front wouldn't remind him of the video at all. CLARK: Video? What's a video? ER: Oh, that's right. She still has the treadmill. LOIS: <prefers to run in the park. At night. Without mace.> ER: /evil/ LOIS: What? It makes me run faster.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Although, that plan could back fire on me, if you start commenting on the day I post. Which is why I exercise constraint. That and that giant blob of RL that’s dropped down from outer space. Quote: Like Lois doing Clark? CLARK: No, I think I'd have remembered that. LOIS: <admits to being so bad in bed, only a virgin would remember it> Quote: Clark still has a lot to learn about how his woman is always right, doesn’t he? CLARK: But... but... but... What if she isn't? Case and point. LOIS: Hurting people when you have powers isn't nice. Hurting people when you don't have powers is human. LEX: See? It’s okay what I’m doing. CLARK: dizzy Did you just say I can't hurt anyone because I'm Kryptonian? NOR: I never found that a problem. LOIS: I don't wear a concubine costume for just anyone. CLARK /weaing black with blue highlights/ LOIS: Nah. Banks don't do that sort of thing here. Too much paperwork. I bet it was just one of those non-interest bearing accounts; therefore, no reason to red-flag the IRS. /considering today’s interest rates/ You mean like a regular savings account? CATWOMAN: Yes, I admit to stealing the necklace. Now, what? BATMAN: But... but... but... I didn't get to ask any questions yet. I think in the middle ages, they didn't take just the top level of skin. They took all of them. They also go skin deep on this matter in the GoT books. LEX: Lois, put down the spatula, please, darling. You know that I can take you out for dinner. Please don't make me eat your cooking. You married her. You eat it. Quote: Maybe she’s preggers with Lex’s love child? LOIS: Kill me. Kill me now. Won’t the offspring do that for her? You know, Alien-style? LOIS: Ripley killed herself to prevent the Alien from being born. Eh. The story is still young. LOIS: Yeah, that wasn't fun either. On the plus side, I’m sure the EW threw a party because the story was done then. Well, there was also that time she stayed with Jimbo. Yes, but aside from giving Jimbo ideas which he would then later confess to her, we don’t really talk about that one. Quote: SUPERMAN: That's all part of the act. LOIS: And what do you call the lipstick stains on your colar? SUPERMAN: My uniform doesn't have a collar, Lois. What are you driving at? I believe they call that ‘deflection’. And he actually pads that technique with the implication of her being wrong, thus aggravating her to the point that she shifts focus away from the lipstick and towards the defamation. There could be another reason for that. CLARK: That I'm just horrible in the sack? That's my true curse. He’s so bad, women prefer immediate death after the experience rather than live with the memory? But Clark only saw the scene from the back, therefore, seeing her topless from the front wouldn't remind him of the video at all. Huh, and here I thought he was seeing them both from the side. Considering he only saw Lex’s left shoulder and Lois’s right arm? Quote: ER: Oh, that's right. She still has the treadmill. LOIS: <prefers to run in the park. At night. Without mace.> ER: /evil/ LOIS: What? It makes me run faster. Michael
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EW: Although, that plan could back fire on me, if you start commenting on the day I post. ER: Which is why I exercise constraint. That and that giant blob of RL that’s dropped down from outer space. I've seen "The Blob". It did come from outer space. You'd think people could run faster than jello. Like Lois doing Clark? CLARK: No, I think I'd have remembered that. LOIS: <admits to being so bad in bed, only a virgin would remember it> CLARK: But I'm not a... oh. CANON CLARK: I don't know what you're talking about. My honeymoon was fantastic! LOIS: Hurting people when you have powers isn't nice. Hurting people when you don't have powers is human. LEX: See? It’s okay what I’m doing. HENDERSON: LOIS: I don't wear a concubine costume for just anyone. CLARK /weaing black with blue highlights/ /Hi, there, little lady./ LOIS: /giggles and digs into her closet for her harem costume/ LOIS: What? I said "just anyone." /considering today’s interest rates/ You mean like a regular savings account? These days, you're probably right. They also go skin deep on this matter in the GoT books. I think I'll stick to the show. LEX: Lois, put down the spatula, please, darling. You know that I can take you out for dinner. Please don't make me eat your cooking. ER: You married her. You eat it. LEX: No. No. I swear. I have lots of money. You don't have to cook, Lois. ER: Maybe she’s preggers with Lex’s love child? LOIS: Kill me. Kill me now. ER: Won’t the offspring do that for her? You know, Alien-style? LOIS: Ripley killed herself to prevent the Alien from being born. I thought Ripley tried to, but the Alien wouldn't let her, so she ended up jumping into a vat of molten metal. EW: Eh. The story is still young. ER: /surprised that EW would drag on the torture/ But I have to get back to the plot at some point. LOIS: Yeah, that wasn't fun either. ER: On the plus side, I’m sure the EW threw a party because the story was done then. EW: /points to current monstrosity/ You sure about that? EW: Well, there was also that time she stayed with Jimbo. ER: Yes, but aside from giving Jimbo ideas which he would then later confess to her, we don’t really talk about that one. Because someone froze Lois in her apartment within two episodes of the last time they froze Lois in her apartment? They were really into freezing Lois in S2, weren't they? SUPERMAN: That's all part of the act. LOIS: And what do you call the lipstick stains on your colar? SUPERMAN: My uniform doesn't have a collar, Lois. What are you driving at? ER: I believe they call that ‘deflection’. And he actually pads that technique with the implication of her being wrong, thus aggravating her to the point that she shifts focus away from the lipstick and towards the defamation. CLARK: Ooopps. There could be another reason for that. CLARK: That I'm just horrible in the sack? That's my true curse. ER: He’s so bad, women prefer immediate death after the experience rather than live with the memory? CAT: Never mind. EW: But Clark only saw the scene from the back, therefore, seeing her topless from the front wouldn't remind him of the video at all. ER: Huh, and here I thought he was seeing them both from the side. Considering he only saw Lex’s left shoulder and Lois’s right arm? You don't think Lois's arm or the front of Lex's shoulder would have been in view if the camera had been aimed at Lois's back?
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31 |
You'd think people could run faster than jello. Maybe they thought ‘jello shots’? CLARK: But I'm not a... oh. CANON CLARK: I don't know what you're talking about. My honeymoon was fantastic! Quote: LOIS: Hurting people when you have powers isn't nice. Hurting people when you don't have powers is human. LEX: See? It’s okay what I’m doing. HENDERSON: <does not believe in the same code of justice as the rich and powerful do> I’m not sure he’d fit in with the Gotham crowd. Quote: LOIS: I don't wear a concubine costume for just anyone. CLARK /weaing black with blue highlights/ /Hi, there, little lady./ LOIS: /giggles and digs into her closet for her harem costume/ LOIS: What? I said "just anyone." Case and point. Quote: They also go skin deep on this matter in the GoT books. <feels like Lois a couple of weeks after too much Clark>I think I'll stick to the show. LOIS: Ripley killed herself to prevent the Alien from being born. EW: I thought Ripley tried to, but the Alien wouldn't let her, so she ended up jumping into a vat of molten metal. Which should have done her in, right? I mean, okay, it didn’t really work with Anakin, but still… EW: /points to current monstrosity/ You sure about that? Too much positive reinforcement for long stories? Because someone froze Lois in her apartment within two episodes of the last time they froze Lois in her apartment? They were really into freezing Lois in S2, weren't they? Well, they established her being the Ice Queen in Season 1, so… ER: He’s so bad, women prefer immediate death after the experience rather than live with the memory? CAT: Never mind. Sounds like Cat finally gave up. LOIS: See? I win! You don't think Lois's arm or the front of Lex's shoulder would have been in view if the camera had been aimed at Lois's back? The bullet went through and through? Since she also got scarring on the back of her arm? Michael
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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OP
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
LOIS: Hurting people when you have powers isn't nice. Hurting people when you don't have powers is human. LEX: See? It’s okay what I’m doing. HENDERSON: <does not believe in the same code of justice as the rich and powerful do> ER: I’m not sure he’d fit in with the Gotham crowd. Lex or Henderson? LOIS: They can have Lex, but we'll keep Henderson here in Metropolis. BRUCE: /sarcastically/ Gee, isn't she a sweetie? CLARK: See, I told you you'd like her. BRUCE: Which should have done her in, right? I mean, okay, it didn’t really work with Anakin, but still… Apparently, it didn't work with Riply either since they were still able to clone her after that. EW: /points to current monstrosity/ You sure about that? ER: Too much positive reinforcement for long stories? Is there such a thing? I'm amazed I've made it this long without posting something. /starts to get the shakes/ Perhaps I should continue writing, so I can post again. (currently working on Part 200) Well, they established her being the Ice Queen in Season 1, so… So, the whole freezing theme was just a bad joke that went on toooooooooo long? ER: He’s so bad, women prefer immediate death after the experience rather than live with the memory? CAT: Never mind. ER: Sounds like Cat finally gave up. LOIS: See? I win! LOIS: Wait! Who did I win again? EW: You don't think Lois's arm or the front of Lex's shoulder would have been in view if the camera had been aimed at Lois's back? ER: The bullet went through and through? Since she also got scarring on the back of her arm? Good point. Perhaps Clark didn't know if Lex had Heller remove the scarring from her arm.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31 |
HENDERSON: <does not believe in the same code of justice as the rich and powerful do> ER: I’m not sure he’d fit in with the Gotham crowd. EW: Lex or Henderson? LOIS: They can have Lex, but we'll keep Henderson here in Metropolis. BRUCE: /sarcastically/ Gee, isn't she a sweetie? CLARK: See, I told you you'd like her. BRUCE: <I never should have done that prank with Kryponite/-enhanced weed last Halloween. Ivy did mention potential brain damage> No, Henderson. They do things rather off the book in Gotham when Bruce was still a sprout of 14 and living with an older gentleman. Apparently, it didn't work with Riply either since they were still able to clone her after that. I'm amazed I've made it this long without posting something. /starts to get the shakes/ Perhaps I should continue writing, so I can post again. (currently working on Part 200) Um… Quote: ER: Well, they established her being the Ice Queen in Season 1, so… EW: So, the whole freezing theme was just a bad joke that went on toooooooooo long? Ooooooh! That’s funny! LOIS: LOIS: Wait! Who did I win again? Barry? LOIS: Allen? ER: Superman imposter. BARRY: I’m almost as quick as the Flash! Good point. Perhaps Clark didn't know if Lex had Heller remove the scarring from her arm. Would Lois allow that? LEX: Would I care? It’s not like she’d use a knife to carve a new scar if I took the old one. NIGEL: I’ll remove the knives. Michael
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