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Wrong Place, Wrong Time, Wrong Clark TOC can be found HereWell, it isn't a cruise in the traditional sense... Let me know what you think.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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“It’s not the same thing, CK, and you know it. Nope, it's not the same thing at all. Good part!
thanks!
rkn
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rkn: Thanks for your comments. “It’s not the same thing, CK, and you know it. Nope, it's not the same thing at all. Clark knows it's not. He was jerking his chain (i.e. teasing him) a little since Jimmy had been calling him 'whipped' since they left Metropolis. I'm glad you liked it. Thank you.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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The phone rang five minutes late, per Lois’s norm. Lois always takes 5 minutes longer than Clark to get there? LOIS: CLARK: All this lying around doing nothing, but sunbathing Umm…you’ve got some dirt on the page there. /scratches at dirt/ LOIS: “Oh, no,” she groaned. “That wasn’t an interview, Clark, and you know it. It was an ambush.”
“‘Nobody deserves it more’?” he quoted what she had said.
“Are you saying he doesn’t?” she hollared. Nobody deserved to die twice, no matter what he had done, but this wasn’t the time to say that to Lois. I think that might be hazardous to his health. And Lois is already in the business of offing beaus. LNN wasn’t the only media outlet that had pundits wondering where Superman had disappeared off to during Luthor’s moment of need. Maybe Lucy could give him an alibi of how he and Lucy went at it in California? “I understand,” he said, bringing his focus back to Lois’s problem. “Those kinds of reporters give a bad name to the rest of us.” He talking about the type that is breaking and entering, conning a fiancé, and generally committing larceny? Who knew when a gust of wind might knock off a potted plant from Lois’s fire escape? Superman! Or when Lois got the urge to dump out her unused dregs from a hot pot of coffee from her window? Or empty her chamber pot after her drainage got clogged up? She didn’t speak for a moment and he thought he heard her sigh. “They offered me a chance of a lifetime,” Lois said. /watches as Lois boards the Challanger after having one night of passion with Clark/ “Don’t you want to know…? Damn! They offered it to you first, didn’t they?” she growled. She doesn’t like it when she gets sloppy seconds? “Yes, but I didn’t accept. You know that I couldn’t,” he said. Because he’s got that issue with tight spaces? On the plus side, nobody would have wondered if he had floated around in space. “You know when I said I needed a few days of space, I figured you could use some too.” He winced. That had sounded better in his head. So long as Lois doesn’t try to pick the air lock? He sighed. “If I could take you myself, I would,” he said tenderly. If Lois were ever to fly out of the Earth’s atmosphere, it would be with a ship around her. Couldn’t he get an old space capsule and take her up there? Or take her out to a cemetery, leave her with a gun, and wait for the magic to happen? “Of course. It may be a P.R. opportunity for them, but this will be a boon for your career. Wait until you see your first view of the Earth from space. Oh, minha, it’ll take your breath away.” He’s talking like he’s been up there already. I’ll be lucky if you’ll want to partner with me after this,” he said with a chuckle. Later… LOIS: “Nah. I only partner with the best; Linda doesn’t qualify and Cat’s moving to Texas,” Clark replied, hoping that Lois didn’t read into his words that he thought Cat was her equal, which he didn’t. Well…Cat did figure it out on her own. “I missed out because someone tried to blow up the shuttle. Blame them, not Superman. Besides, I was a stowaway,” she reminded him. “I could have been kicked off for that reason alone.” Hey, she should consider herself lucky. If she had tagged along, they might have charged her for the fare and then she’d be working it off on her back at the Metro Club till she’s forty. Later… (again) CAPTAIN: I don’t know. She must have thought it was the ladies room or something. I mean, the airlock door *was* painted red. He cleared his throat. “So, when do you leave?”
“Thursday, I think. I don’t have the official schedule yet,” she said.
“This week?” he gasped. But doesn’t it take months of training first? She was so ready for some alone time to finally get to know Clark, all of him. Pregnancy hormones making her horny? This time it wouldn’t be him running off on their relationship, but her. anymore than he could come and visit Clark Kent’s girlfriend in space. You think they wouldn’t let him visit? Ha! And to think that Henderson wanted to put her in a safe house. No way could Lex Luthor find her in space. LEX: So, these new contracts by EPRAD for the space station… “I do have a few requests about the trip, though,” she said, before launching into her idea. Personal bathroom? Extra chocolate on the food supply? LOIS: What do you mean – they don’t take chocolate up into space? Even though Clark’s healing ability was one of the first to return, he didn’t want to chance his newly discovered sensitive stomach on food that was left on warmers for who knew how long. Huh, shouldn’t the food be quite unspoiled? Otherwise, the guests would be lying in their rooms, soiling the bed and bathroom, instead of spending their money on the casino floor? “After my UNN interview, when I was floating on cloud nine, I asked for another interview,” Jimmy said, staring down into his mug of beer. “With their H.R. department.” So, that’s how you’re going to get rid of him? “They were kind, but definite. They had no room for a still photographer in their live-action news department,” he said. “I told them I could do video.”
Clark winced.
“Yeah. They didn’t buy it either. Maybe he should have shown them the flicks he made with his cousin and some of the college coeds from Jimbo’s class? “I’ll be up shortly,” Jimmy called with a wave to his friend’s departing back.
Finally. Then, again, CK hadn’t won a thousand dollars on his third pull of a lever as Jimmy had. Oh, God. What could he say to her without sounding like a creep? She probably had hundreds of men come on to her. How about ‘Hi, I’ve been looking all over for you, trying to find you. Do you mind if I follow you around?’ “Hi…” Jenny replied slowly, unsurely.
Did she not remember him? Had the connection only been on his side?
“Jimmy,” he said. “We talked last night.”
She pointed at him. “Right. Hi.” So, Jimbo only paid Jenny for the first night, then, trying to give his cuz a weekend to remember? “You’re that photographer Luthor framed,” she said, her hand gestured wildly. “James something. Of course! Jimmy. Duh.” “Oh, my God! Your friend, CK…” Her hand shook as she pointed at him. “He must be Clark Kent, the reporter friend you talked about, and the girlfriend he was calling…” She snapped her fingers. “Lois! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!” “Was she cheating on Lex Luthor?” It broke the poor chap’s heart. He’s back? But why are they calling in Vegas? Four blocks away, down on the side streets off the Strip, a woman knelt in a dark alleyway. Clark could see the legs of a man lying on the ground next to her. Oh dear. Did someone shoot Jimmy? Is he dead? Did they rob him for the 1000 bucks? He glanced back at the couple and saw the man reach up and cup the woman’s jaw. “Superman’s back in Metropolis, Jenny. He can’t hear you.” He’s still alive? “He pulled you into an alley and tried to steal your purse,” Jimmy replied, as if he had no other option. “What was I supposed to do?” Wet himself? “Surprise is the best element of defense,” he replied. “Lois Lane taught me that.” “Come on, hero. I’ve got ice back at my place,” she said. She glanced around the alley. “Let’s pick up your money first.” Aww…he’s going to get laid “No, what we should do is get moving. Like the Tusken Raiders, muggers are easily scared but he’ll come back,” In greater numbers? Jenny laughed. “Oh, Jimmy. Don’t tell me you’re one those people.” And the nerd won’t get laid after all… Jimmy sputtered, “This is the first time I’ve mentioned…” He grinned, pointing at her. “Yeah, but you recognized it.” “Of course, I recognized it. It’s only the best movie ever made.” He was glad to know that his friend was okay and just the mention of Superman had been enough to scare the would-be thief away. THIEF: That dude must have been on meth or something. Throwing good money around like that. If you've been living on the distant forest moon of Endor for the last century, here's the info you need to understand Jimmy and Jenny's conversation: Umm… also Michael
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Darth Michael: Glad you hear you're feeling better. Lois always takes 5 minutes longer than Clark to get there? LOIS: /grumble/ CLARK: /help/ CLAUDE: I don't get it. Lois is supposed to get somewhere? Umm…you’ve got some dirt on the page there. /scratches at dirt/ Grammar hard. Breaks own rules of always put comma before "but"... or was that butt? Thanks. CLARK: I didn't mean that in a bad way. I think that might be hazardous to his health. And Lois is already in the business of offing beaus. Hence why he doesn't mention it. Maybe Lucy could give him an alibi of how he and Lucy went at it in California? LOIS: /points to Superman with emphasis/ But he's a Ken doll. SUPERMAN: LUCY: So, he can't even kiss? He talking about the type that is breaking and entering, conning a fiancé, and generally committing larceny? Nah. The ones who stalk victims and ask stupid questions until the victim commits a felony on them. Who knew when a gust of wind might knock off a potted plant from Lois’s fire escape? Superman! SUPERMAN: What? I was...um... in Las Vegas? LOIS: Or empty her chamber pot after her drainage got clogged up? LOIS: /taking notes/ Go on. /watches as Lois boards the Challanger after having one night of passion with Clark/ /cough/ 1986 /cough/ I remember because when I walked into school that morning, I wondered why all the flags were at half-mast. And IF I went that route, it sure would make Section 3 have a completely different feel to it than I'm hoping for (and my readers, too, I assume). She doesn’t like it when she gets sloppy seconds? Duh! /points to Lois's rules/ Because he’s got that issue with tight spaces? On the plus side, nobody would have wondered if he had floated around in space. True, but Superman has already been MIA for several days... another week and people might start to worry. Plus, rumor has it that HIS GIRLFRIEND WOULD KILL HIM. So long as Lois doesn’t try to pick the air lock? LOIS: What do you mean I can't bring my lock picks? Couldn’t he get an old space capsule and take her up there? Well, I guess he could. Since the world is littered with them... in museums and such. Or take her out to a cemetery, leave her with a gun, and wait for the magic to happen? She dies from a richotte when she shoots him? CLARK: Perhaps sex first wasn't such a good idea after all. He’s talking like he’s been up there already. Um... he kind of took the Prometheus up there. Also, it's why he looks around the room to double check that Jimmy hadn't doubled back. I’ll be lucky if you’ll want to partner with me after this,” he said with a chuckle. Later… LOIS: /sick/ Of Clark? Pregnant with someone else's baby? I don't get it. Well…Cat did figure it out on her own. Which is why he didn't say that Cat doesn't qualify. Hey, she should consider herself lucky. If she had tagged along, they might have charged her for the fare and then she’d be working it off on her back at the Metro Club till she’s forty. LOIS: So, I should have Superman up-chuck it the bomb and give it back to you? CLARK: Um... Lois, I didn't swallow the bomb. LOIS: That wasn't you? CLARK: Later… (again) CAPTAIN: I don’t know. She must have thought it was the ladies room or something. I mean, the airlock door *was* painted red. 2ND in COMMAND: But doesn’t it take months of training first? Not for the colonists. Pregnancy hormones making her horny? LOIS: No. CLARK: What? LOIS: *No!* ER: /suggests she slam a door in Clark's face/ Yeah, but that was canon Clark. She didn't do that to this Clark. You think they wouldn’t let him visit? Clark? Nope. Superman? Maybe. LEX: So, these new contracts by EPRAD for the space station… Being that Lex Luthor disgraced EPRAD as much as he did Superman, I doubt they'd sign any contracts with LexCorp. Personal bathroom? Extra chocolate on the food supply? ER: /ruins Lois's trip/ LOIS: What do you mean – they don’t take chocolate up into space? Now, that's just cruel. Huh, shouldn’t the food be quite unspoiled? Otherwise, the guests would be lying in their rooms, soiling the bed and bathroom, instead of spending their money on the casino floor? Yes, but if you recall he's some kind of health food nut and I doubt he'd eat at an all-you-can-eat buffet, if he could avoid it. So, that’s how you’re going to get rid of him? By Jimmy committing suicide because he couldn't get a job? Possibly. Maybe he should have shown them the flicks he made with his cousin and some of the college coeds from Jimbo’s class? JIMMY: What do you mean you *taped* over it? JIMBO: Star Wars was on. JIMMY: Well, okay, but don't do it again! How about ‘Hi, I’ve been looking all over for you, trying to find you. Do you mind if I follow you around?’ JENNY: Help! Superman! So, Jimbo only paid Jenny for the first night, then, trying to give his cuz a weekend to remember? Um... A night of flirting? ER: It broke the poor chap’s heart. CLARK: Sure did. LOIS: Hey! He’s back? But why are they calling in Vegas? This will be explained. It's a distraction technique. The mugger doesn't know HOW good Superman's hearing is. Maybe he COULD hear it from Metropolis. Oh dear. Did someone shoot Jimmy? Is he dead? Did they rob him for the 1000 bucks? And you thought he was staying in Vegas for the woman. So, I'm not allowed to drop Red Herrings all off the floor? My bad. JIMMY: Um... the alley was wet? Aww…he’s going to get laid /hyper/ Oh, did you guys want details? I thought the first time we went over yonder it was supposed to be with Lois and Clark. JIMMY: Maybe. And the nerd won’t get laid after all… JIMMY: Some girls like nerds, right? Right? RIGHT? THIEF: That dude must have been on meth or something. Throwing good money around like that. /help/ NURSE AT ER: So, you want to explain how you got a quarter lodged in your eye? THIEF: I slipped? Umm… also Are you saying I shouldn't explain one Star Wars reference by using another? Ooops.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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CLAUDE: <no clue about the more developed sex> I don't get it. Lois is supposed to get somewhere? LOIS: Hence the problems… Grammar hard. Breaks own rules of always put comma before "but"... or was that butt? So, it’s like Lois? Always using a double standard? LOIS: /points to Superman with emphasis/ But he's a Ken doll. SUPERMAN: LUCY: So, he can't even kiss? Maybe Lucy can get the missing parts on Craig’s List? Nah. The ones who stalk victims and ask stupid questions until the victim commits a felony on them. I know. I just wanted to make a point without explaining the specifics. And it *is* an alternate universe. And IF I went that route, it sure would make Section 3 have a completely different feel to it than I'm hoping for (and my readers, too, I assume). /interprets this as Lois and Carlos raising Lois and Alt-Clark’s love child/ Quote: She doesn’t like it when she gets sloppy seconds? Duh! /points to Lois's rules/ Right. Duh! Plus, rumor has it that HIS GIRLFRIEND WOULD KILL HIM. But they offered it to *him* first! LOIS: Aaaand your point being…? Well, I guess he could. Since the world is littered with them... in museums and such. Actually, one would assume there’s a ton of them sitting around in cold storage She dies from a richotte when she shoots him?
CLARK: Perhaps sex first wasn't such a good idea after all. GHOST OF LOIS: Ya think? Couldn’t have waited another 4 hours, could you? Later… LOIS: /sick/ Of Clark? Pregnant with someone else's baby? I don't get it. Actually, I was just referring to space sickness often observed in first timers. LOIS: So, I should have Superman up-chuck it the bomb and give it back to you? Quote: Pregnancy hormones making her horny? LOIS: No. CLARK: What? LOIS: *No!* So, Lois is saying that pregnancy hormones making women horny is an urban myth? PHIL: I don’t know. Cat was pretty horny when she was pregnant. Quote: ER: /suggests she slam a door in Clark's face/ Yeah, but that was canon Clark. She didn't do that to this Clark. ‘been there; done that’? Being that Lex Luthor disgraced EPRAD as much as he did Superman, I doubt they'd sign any contracts with LexCorp. I think he might be able to engage in litigation over that matter. LOIS: What do you mean – they don’t take chocolate up into space? Now, that's just cruel. Yes, but if you recall he's some kind of health food nut and I doubt he'd eat at an all-you-can-eat buffet, if he could avoid it. What if it were a naked Lois decorated with fruits in his room? CLARK: Then it would be called an ‘all I can eat buffet’ and not an ‘all *you* can eat buffet’. JIMMY: What do you mean you *taped* over it? JIMBO: Star Wars was on. JIMMY: Well, okay, but don't do it again! Quote: How about ‘Hi, I’ve been looking all over for you, trying to find you. Do you mind if I follow you around?’ JENNY: Help! Superman! So he can give Jimmy pointers on how to properly stalk a girlfriend-interest? Quote: So, Jimbo only paid Jenny for the first night, then, trying to give his cuz a weekend to remember? Um... A night of flirting? She figured Jimmy wouldn’t tell the specifics to his cuz, so she could con him? And you thought he was staying in Vegas for the woman. <EW showing her true (hair) color> So, I'm not allowed to drop Red Herrings all off the floor? My bad. No, they start to ferment and then the whole place is stunk up. Oh, did you guys want details? I thought the first time we went over yonder it was supposed to be with Lois and Clark. At this point? Some FoLCs aren’t picky. Not that one would prefer to see Lois and Lex, or even Clark and Lex, but aside from that… JIMMY: Some girls like nerds, right? Right? RIGHT? /slaps on ‘endangered species’ sticker/ Umm… also rotflol Are you saying I shouldn't explain one Star Wars reference by using another? Ooops. Michael
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CLAUDE: <no clue about the more developed sex> I don't get it. Lois is supposed to get somewhere? LOIS: Hence the problems… That and he stole her story. LOIS: I might have been forgive one of those things, but not both. EW: Grammar hard. Breaks own rules of always put comma before "but"... or was that butt? ER: So, it’s like Lois? Always using a double standard? Maybe Lucy can get the missing parts on Craig’s List? LUCY: Why would I just want a part of a man when I can get the whole thing? EW: And IF I went that route, it sure would make Section 3 have a completely different feel to it than I'm hoping for (and my readers, too, I assume). ER: /interprets this as Lois and Carlos raising Lois and Alt-Clark’s love child/ And how would Lois find out about Carlos? And why would Carlos give up his calling for Lois? ER: Plus, rumor has it that HIS GIRLFRIEND WOULD KILL HIM. EW: But they offered it to *him* first! LOIS: Aaaand your point being…? Ooops? EW: Well, I guess he could. Since the world is littered with them... in museums and such. ER: Actually, one would assume there’s a ton of them sitting around in cold storage The B39 warehouse in Russia? /ducking/ She dies from a richotte when she shoots him? CLARK: Perhaps sex first wasn't such a good idea after all. GHOST OF LOIS: Ya think? Couldn’t have waited another 4 hours, could you? CLARK: Um... No? Actually, I was just referring to space sickness often observed in first timers. This will be covered. Pregnancy hormones making her horny? LOIS: No. CLARK: What? LOIS: *No!* ER: So, Lois is saying that pregnancy hormones making women horny is an urban myth? PHIL: I don’t know. Cat was pretty horny when she was pregnant. CLARK: Cat was horny before she got pregnant. ER: /suggests she slam a door in Clark's face/ EW: Yeah, but that was canon Clark. She didn't do that to this Clark. ER: ‘been there; done that’? She tells Perry after they had dinner the day she met Superman that she and Clark went on a "date" (although, she told Clark it definitely wasn't a date) and the door slamming thing happened, even though it didn't. So, I didn't want to repeat myself. EW: Being that Lex Luthor disgraced EPRAD as much as he did Superman, I doubt they'd sign any contracts with LexCorp. ER: I think he might be able to engage in litigation over that matter. In this country you can sue someone over anything, it doesn't mean you'll win. EW: Yes, but if you recall he's some kind of health food nut and I doubt he'd eat at an all-you-can-eat buffet, if he could avoid it. ER: What if it were a naked Lois decorated with fruits in his room? CLARK: Then it would be called an ‘all I can eat buffet’ and not an ‘all *you* can eat buffet’. It also wouldn't be on these boards. ER: How about ‘Hi, I’ve been looking all over for you, trying to find you. Do you mind if I follow you around?’ JENNY: Help! Superman! ER: So he can give Jimmy pointers on how to properly stalk a girlfriend-interest? SUPERMAN: Hey, I resemble that remark! ER: So, Jimbo only paid Jenny for the first night, then, trying to give his cuz a weekend to remember? EW: Um... A night of flirting? ER: She figured Jimmy wouldn’t tell the specifics to his cuz, so she could con him? She really doesn't understand men in their 20s, does she? EW: So, I'm not allowed to drop Red Herrings all off the floor? My bad. ER: No, they start to ferment and then the whole place is stunk up. I'll be careful then. EW: Oh, did you guys want details? I thought the first time we went over yonder it was supposed to be with Lois and Clark. ER: At this point? Some FoLCs aren’t picky. Not that one would prefer to see Lois and Lex, or even Clark and Lex, but aside from that… Phil and Cat? Perry and Alice? Ralph and Christine (back again)? /ducking/ JIMMY: Some girls like nerds, right? Right? RIGHT? ER: /slaps on ‘endangered species’ sticker/ Poor Jimmy. If he can't find a girl who likes nerds in LV, he won't find one anywhere.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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That and he stole her story. LOIS: I might have been forgive one of those things, but not both. CLARK: Why I plan to never steal her story. LOIS: LUCY: Why would I just want a part of a man when I can get the whole thing? And how would Lois find out about Carlos? And why would Carlos give up his calling for Lois? LOIS: Did the EW just insult me? *TWICE*? The B39 warehouse in Russia? /ducking/ CLARK: Cat was horny before she got pregnant. That’s called being ‘in-heat’ with cats. It usually leads directly to the being-horny-from-pregnancy-hormones bit. So, I didn't want to repeat myself. Ummm… Oh, right, you just reread the early parts In this country you can sue someone over anything, it doesn't mean you'll win. LEX: That’s what I have my lawyers for. They will memorize the jury members and provide this information to my other associates. ER: So he can give Jimmy pointers on how to properly stalk a girlfriend-interest? SUPERMAN: Hey, I resemble that remark! LOIS: She really doesn't understand men in their 20s, does she? Does anyone, really? BEER SHOP OWNER: Phil and Cat? Perry and Alice? Ralph and Christine (back again)? /ducking/ Michael
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EW: That and he stole her story. LOIS: I might have been forgive one of those things, but not both. CLARK: Why I plan to never steal her story. LOIS: /grumble/ CLARK: Did Lois just say she'd rather I steal her story than give her a good time? LOIS: No. NO! I didn't like your use of the words "plan to". And how would Lois find out about Carlos? And why would Carlos give up his calling for Lois? LOIS: Did the EW just insult me? *TWICE*? EW: In this country you can sue someone over anything, it doesn't mean you'll win. LEX: That’s what I have my lawyers for. They will memorize the jury members and provide this information to my other associates. I didn't say that the system doesn't have flaws. EW: She really doesn't understand men in their 20s, does she? ER: Does anyone, really? BEER SHOP OWNER: /wave/ That's not saying much for guys in their 20s, is it?
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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CLARK: Why I plan to never steal her story. LOIS: /grumble/ CLARK: dizzy Did Lois just say she'd rather I steal her story than give her a good time? LOIS: No. NO! I didn't like your use of the words "plan to". That's not saying much for guys in their 20s, is it? Your point being? JIMMY: Michael
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