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KenJ Offline OP
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Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks"

My stories can be found here

kj
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I liked the scientific stuff on both hitting the asteroid and running out of air. You obviously did a lot of research.


"Oh, you can’t help that," said the Cat: "we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad."
"How do you know I’m mad?" said Alice.
"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn’t have come here.”

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Yes, I have to agree with Annie. You added lots of great detail to Superman's time in space and how it effected him. Well done. I can see how this would scare Lois tremendously, knowing that it's her husband who is now missing.

Quote
Lois was firm in her conviction that Clark would return, she said, “Martha, why don’t you and Jonathan come to Metropolis. I’m sure that when Clark returns he’ll want you guys here.”
I'm thinking that Lois might be fudging a little on her reasons for wanting the Kents to come all the way out to Metropolis at this time. If Clark wanted to see them right away after he returned it would take him mere seconds to get to Kansas. I believe Lois must have requested their presence more for her mental well being (so she wouldn't have to be so alone in her worry about Clark) than for the reason she gave.

Quote
They returned to the Oval Office and the President came back on, “As more data is collected and we know better where the impact will occur further announcements will be made by EPRAD’s scientists. That is all we have for now. I would urge calm. The impact may occur on the other side of the globe from us, so please, do not panic.
While the president's words were supposed to be reassuring during this time of crises to the people of America, I doubt it would be wise to phrase it quite that way. It sounded as if he wouldn't care for any destruction the asteroid would cause should it hit on the other side of the world. One shouldn't call oneself a world leader (as presidents often refer to themselves) if one isn't willing to care about the world outside of our borders. Politicians knowing that anything they say at this point will be remembered, would probably emphasize the PCness of their speech more than the exclusionary-ness of it. "While it would be tragic for all of us on Earth wherever this smaller chunk of Nightfall might strike our planet, I urge my fellow Americans not to panic as it might not impact them directly." etc. etc. Or did you take his speech from the script? I know that the President's role in ASU was cut from the final version of the script.

Also, if I were living in a coastal city, I'd be more likely to move inland should a huge asteroid be heading towards Earth. Even if it were to strike on the other side of the world, it could still cause worldwide tsunamis, which could destroy our coasts.

hyper Yea! At least Clark made it back safely, if somewhat nudely.


VirginiaR.
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KenJ Offline OP
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Hi Annie,

Thanks fot the FDK!

Originally Posted by Annie B.
I liked the scientific stuff on both hitting the asteroid and running out of air. You obviously did a lot of research.

Actually, I didn't need to research this. I have been a scientist, virtually all of my life so it comes naturally, thanks to all of the study I have done over the years. As far as the oxygen deficit, that is basic anatomy and physiology. I have been involved in emergency medicine for more than 30 years and am a paramedic trained EMT.


Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks"

My stories can be found here

kj
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Greetings Ken!

This was an excellent part, for the scientific and the romantic.

Quote
Superman’s plan was to use a principle that Lois had taught him about karate. When you strike, the force of the strike is transmitted to the surface that you strike and unlike a boxer you do not follow-through. You instantly recoil once the force of the blow has been transmitted. That was what he did. The instant after he struck he reversed course. There was one slight flaw in the plan however. The release of fifty megatons of energy resulted in no small portion of that force being converted to heat and light. That heat burned away Superman’s cape, which wasn’t so bad, but it also burned away his communications gear, the mask and the tubing from the oxygen tanks. The tanks themselves ruptured and the oxygen released added to the conflagration. Realizing that he now had to make it all the way back with no oxygen he ‘poured on the coal’ gathering as much speed as he could in the direction of the Earth.

I don't remember anyone who described the destruction of Nightfall and what happened to Superman's equipment quite this well.

Quote
Ralph, Eduardo, man-on-the-street interviews.


Eduardo yes, Ralph getting opinions of the man on the street is a little scary. dizzy How about Diane or Pete? Surely there writing would be better in this situation than that hack.

Quote
Suddenly, like a switch being thrown, Luthor’s mood changed and he slammed his palm down on his desk and began to rant, “I have been deprived of my greatest victory over Superman and you think I should be pleased?” He turned his back on Asabi and said, “Leave me.”

????

Quote
....Like a drowning man his body was crying for air, but unlike a drowning man if he opened his mouth to take a breath he wouldn’t even have water to fill his lungs. All that there was, was … nothingness. The utter vacuum of space. His last conscious thought was <Lois, I’m sorry.>

Hands down, best paragraph you have ever written. I could feel his despair and fear. Poor thing, alone in a cold empty universe.

Quote
In an undertone, she kept muttering to herself, “He’s okay. He has to be okay. He’ll come back, back to me. He has to be okay. He has to come back.”

Lois must have been alone in Perry's office. No way could he not know that Clark and Superman are one and the same. Also, how is Lois going to explain Clark's absence in the newsroom? Is she pregnant?

Quote
Perry muttered to himself, “Where could he be?” He looked at his office and realized that Lois was in no condition for him to ask where her husband was. “I guess he’ll show up, sooner or later with a big story.” Shaking his head he turned toward his office. <I wonder if she would be this upset if it was Clark that was missing. That’s probably unfair. Clark’s her husband and she would naturally be upset if her were missing. I just wonder who she would miss more.>

Come on Perry! Put those reporter instincts into play! What would Cleat Johnson say if you weren't able to put the dots together? Think man! Why would Lois who is so obliviously crazy about her husband be so upset about Superman? Who is a relative stranger?

Quote
“Well, Darlin’, when they lost contact with Superman we lost contact with you too. You kinda’ checked out on us. You okay now?”

Best line of the story so far! Lane Smith's voice is crystal clear.

Quote
ois was frantic. When she had gotten home there was absolutely no word from Clark. She wandered around the apartment listlessly. Suddenly it occurred to her that if she was worried, Clark’s parents must be also. She ran to the phone and dialed.

When it was answered, Lois recognized Martha’s voice and the tone of her voice told just how worried she was, “Clark?!?!?!?”

“No, Martha, it’s me, Lois.”

“Oh, Lois, Honey. I thought it would be Clark. Is he there?”

Lois started to break down in tears, “No, Martha, he’s not. I haven’t heard from him. Martha, I’m so worried. Where could he be? He can’t be dead. I’d know it if he was dead, I just know I would.”

This is the piece to the show we never saw, how Jonathan and Martha realized their son was in danger.

Fabulous! clap dance


Morgana

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KenJ Offline OP
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Hi Virginia,

Thanks for the FDK!

Originally Posted by VirginiaR
Yes, I have to agree with Annie. You added lots of great detail to Superman's time in space and how it effected him. Well done. I can see how this would scare Lois tremendously, knowing that it's her husband who is now missing.

Yes, it is evem more of a strain than in the original when it wasa just Superman that was missing.

Quote
Lois was firm in her conviction that Clark would return, she said, “Martha, why don’t you and Jonathan come to Metropolis. I’m sure that when Clark returns he’ll want you guys here.”

I'm thinking that Lois might be fudging a little on her reasons for wanting the Kents to come all the way out to Metropolis at this time. If Clark wanted to see them right away after he returned it would take him mere seconds to get to Kansas. I believe Lois must have requested their presence more for her mental well being (so she wouldn't have to be so alone in her worry about Clark) than for the reason she gave.

Yes, she did have an ulterior motive. She needed the moral support. It has onle been a few months at this point, but Lois has gotten extremely close to Clark's parents, much closer than to her own, for obvious reasons.

Quote
They returned to the Oval Office and the President came back on, “As more data is collected and we know better where the impact will occur further announcements will be made by EPRAD’s scientists. That is all we have for now. I would urge calm. The impact may occur on the other side of the globe from us, so please, do not panic.

While the president's words were supposed to be reassuring during this time of crises to the people of America, I doubt it would be wise to phrase it quite that way. It sounded as if he wouldn't care for any destruction the asteroid would cause should it hit on the other side of the world. One shouldn't call oneself a world leader (as presidents often refer to themselves) if one isn't willing to care about the world outside of our borders. Politicians knowing that anything they say at this point will be remembered, would probably emphasize the PCness of their speech more than the exclusionary-ness of it. "While it would be tragic for all of us on Earth wherever this smaller chunk of Nightfall might strike our planet, I urge my fellow Americans not to panic as it might not impact them directly." etc. etc. Or did you take his speech from the script? I know that the President's role in ASU was cut from the final version of the script.

This would have been a nationwide hook up, but not international.

Quote
Also, if I were living in a coastal city, I'd be more likely to move inland should a huge asteroid be heading towards Earth. Even if it were to strike on the other side of the world, it could still cause worldwide tsunamis, which could destroy our coasts.

Yes, that would have been a good move, but the major arteries from the coast would have all been choked with refugees.

Quote
hyper Yea! At least Clark made it back safely, if somewhat nudely.

Yes, but Lois doesn't know it.


Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks"

My stories can be found here

kj
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Quote
Luthor looked out the window and glowered as if the sky had taken his favorite toy, or most valuable prize.
Wouldn’t it be interesting if Lex tried to find out what happened to Superman, and help? “No one but me can be the one to defeat him.” Plus there’s the remainder of the asteroid, though maybe Lex doesn’t care if it hits. He should.

Like others, I enjoyed your amplification on what happened in space. I particularly liked Superman’s skipping off the atmosphere multiple times. He’s lucky he didn’t skip right back into an outgoing trajectory.

I guess Superman’s reentry didn’t look enough different from a meteor to catch the government’s attention.

How long will it take Lois to find Clark? Will she help Martha push him off his balcony? laugh Looking forward to the next part!

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KenJ Offline OP
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Hi Morgana,

Thanks for the FDK!

Originally Posted by Morgana
Greetings Ken!

This was an excellent part, for the scientific and the romantic.

I aim to please.

Quote
Superman’s plan was to use a principle that Lois had taught him about karate. When you strike, the force of the strike is transmitted to the surface that you strike and unlike a boxer you do not follow-through. You instantly recoil once the force of the blow has been transmitted. That was what he did. The instant after he struck he reversed course. There was one slight flaw in the plan however. The release of fifty megatons of energy resulted in no small portion of that force being converted to heat and light. That heat burned away Superman’s cape, which wasn’t so bad, but it also burned away his communications gear, the mask and the tubing from the oxygen tanks. The tanks themselves ruptured and the oxygen released added to the conflagration. Realizing that he now had to make it all the way back with no oxygen he ‘poured on the coal’ gathering as much speed as he could in the direction of the Earth.

I don't remember anyone who described the destruction of Nightfall and what happened to Superman's equipment quite this well.

Bob did something like this, but he had Luthor sabotage his environmentsl pack. I tried to keep it closer to the script.

Quote
Ralph, Eduardo, man-on-the-street interviews.

Eduardo yes, Ralph getting opinions of the man on the street is a little scary. dizzy How about Diane or Pete? Surely there writing would be better in this situation than that hack.

I just wanted to get Ralph out of the newsroom in case Lois said something.

Quote
Suddenly, like a switch being thrown, Luthor’s mood changed and he slammed his palm down on his desk and began to rant, “I have been deprived of my greatest victory over Superman and you think I should be pleased?” He turned his back on Asabi and said, “Leave me.”

????

That was straight from the script. In this particular chapter there is precious little from the original script. Most of it, 75 - 90% is original.

Quote
....Like a drowning man his body was crying for air, but unlike a drowning man if he opened his mouth to take a breath he wouldn’t even have water to fill his lungs. All that there was, was … nothingness. The utter vacuum of space. His last conscious thought was <Lois, I’m sorry.>

Hands down, best paragraph you have ever written. I could feel his despair and fear. Poor thing, alone in a cold empty universe.

Thank you for the compliment. That is exactly what I was trying to convey.


Quote
In an undertone, she kept muttering to herself, “He’s okay. He has to be okay. He’ll come back, back to me. He has to be okay. He has to come back.”

Lois must have been alone in Perry's office. No way could he not know that Clark and Superman are one and the same. Also, how is Lois going to explain Clark's absence in the newsroom? Is she pregnant?

Yes, she was in Perry's office, by herself by this time. Is she pregnant? I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Quote
Perry muttered to himself, “Where could he be?” He looked at his office and realized that Lois was in no condition for him to ask where her husband was. “I guess he’ll show up, sooner or later with a big story.” Shaking his head he turned toward his office. <I wonder if she would be this upset if it was Clark that was missing. That’s probably unfair. Clark’s her husband and she would naturally be upset if her were missing. I just wonder who she would miss more.>

Come on Perry! Put those reporter instincts into play! What would Cleat Johnson say if you weren't able to put the dots together? Think man! Why would Lois who is so obliviously crazy about her husband be so upset about Superman? Who is a relative stranger?

Lois was there for his debut. She was the one that named him. She has been rescued by him a number of times. There is a close repationship. It would be expected that she would be upset.


Quote
“Well, Darlin’, when they lost contact with Superman we lost contact with you too. You kinda’ checked out on us. You okay now?”

Best line of the story so far! Lane Smith's voice is crystal clear.

Again, thahks for the compliment. That was not in the script.

Quote
Lois was frantic. When she had gotten home there was absolutely no word from Clark. She wandered around the apartment listlessly. Suddenly it occurred to her that if she was worried, Clark’s parents must be also. She ran to the phone and dialed.

When it was answered, Lois recognized Martha’s voice and the tone of her voice told just how worried she was, “Clark?!?!?!?”

“No, Martha, it’s me, Lois.”

“Oh, Lois, Honey. I thought it would be Clark. Is he there?”

Lois started to break down in tears, “No, Martha, he’s not. I haven’t heard from him. Martha, I’m so worried. Where could he be? He can’t be dead. I’d know it if he was dead, I just know I would.”

This is the piece to the show we never saw, how Jonathan and Martha realized their son was in danger.

In the show, when Clark went missing as reported on the TV they headed for Metropolis. They were the only ones that knew the SM=CK secret. Now Lois is on the scene and they were leaving it to her.

Quote
Fabulous! clap dance

I'm glad you are enjoying it. Still more surprises ahead.


Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks"

My stories can be found here

kj
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KenJ Offline OP
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Hi Debbie,

Thanks for the FDK!

Originally Posted by DebbieG
Quote
Luthor looked out the window and glowered as if the sky had taken his favorite toy, or most valuable prize.
Wouldn’t it be interesting if Lex tried to find out what happened to Superman, and help? “No one but me can be the one to defeat him.” Plus there’s the remainder of the asteroid, though maybe Lex doesn’t care if it hits. He should.

Like others, I enjoyed your amplification on what happened in space. I particularly liked Superman’s skipping off the atmosphere multiple times. He’s lucky he didn’t skip right back into an outgoing trajectory.

I guess Superman’s reentry didn’t look enough different from a meteor to catch the government’s attention.

How long will it take Lois to find Clark? Will she help Martha push him off his balcony? laugh Looking forward to the next part!

I always thought that there was a lot left to the imagination in that section. I just wanted to give it some substance. Also there was no really good explanation as to the memory loss. I just couldn't see Clark flying head first into the asteroid.


Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks"

My stories can be found here

kj

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