All Shook Up - Matchmaker Style
Rated PG-13
Lois and Clark now live in Clark's ‘old' apartment.
* * denotes emphasis
< > denotes thoughts
As always comments are welcome. (ken.janney@kjanney.com)
Previously
Lois was frantic. When she had gotten home there was absolutely no word from Clark. She wandered around the apartment listlessly. Suddenly it occurred to her that if she was worried, Clark’s parents must be also. She ran to the phone and dialed.
When it was answered, Lois recognized Martha’s voice and the tone of her voice told just how worried she was, “Clark?!?!?!?”
“No, Martha, it’s me, Lois.”
“Oh, Lois, Honey. I thought it would be Clark. Is he there?”
Lois started to break down in tears, “No, Martha, he’s not. I haven’t heard from him. Martha, I’m so worried. Where could he be? He can’t be dead. I’d know it if he was dead, I just know I would.”
Martha tried to console her daughter-in-law, “Lois, Honey, we both know that there isn’t much that can hurt Clark. He has to be okay. Maybe he just isn’t back yet. You know, he could be taking a victory lap or something.”
Tears still in her eyes, Lois laughed at that suggestion, “He wouldn’t do that to me … us … and you know it. He’d come directly here or there. Since he isn’t here and he isn’t there he must not be back yet, but he’s going to run out of air!”
“We’ve been watching LNN and they haven’t said anything about the asteroid since his interception. What do you suppose is happening?”
“Oh, I don’t know. They’re probably checking their data.”
“Lois, they just made an announcement. The President is going to be making a speech.”
Lois reached for the remote and turned on the TV. LNN came on and the Chiron read “
The President speaks.”
Suddenly the picture shifted to the Oval Office and the President was behind his desk. He started speaking, “My fellow Americans, it is my unpleasant duty to inform you that the Nightfall mission was not a complete success. Apparently Superman’s impact was slightly off target and complete disintegration of the object was not achieved. There is a mass of slightly less than twenty percent of the original still on a collision course with the Earth.
“It is also my unhappy duty to inform you that we still have had no contact with Superman. The time elapsed since his departure puts him outside the safety margin of his air supply. I’m sorry to say that it is our belief that Superman gave his life in his effort to save his adopted planet. I mourn with you his loss. I now pass you to EPRAD for more details”
The EPRAD spokesman came on and said, “The composition of the asteroid was almost a cross between a comet and meteor. The way a comet is an agglomeration of ice and rock this asteroid was a collection of lower weight rock and some medium density materials surrounding a dense, a very dense core, but the core, a mass approximately three miles across has the character of a nickel/iron meteor. As such, with its mass it will not burn up as it passes through the atmosphere as a smaller meteor would, but will, at impact, be virtually undiminished. There is also a cloud of the smaller debris, ninety-plus percent of which should burn up while passing through the atmosphere. It should provide an amazing light show.” He stopped before saying, “As if anyone would be around to see it.”
They returned to the Oval Office and the President came back on, “As more data is collected and we know better where the impact will occur further announcements will be made by EPRAD’s scientists. That is all we have for now. I would urge calm. The impact may occur on the other side of the globe from us, so please, do not panic.
“I know that the American spirit is strong and we will come through this stronger still.
“My fellow Americans, I bid you, good day.”
Lois almost dropped the phone, but then realized that Martha was still on it and lifting it to her face said, “Martha?”
All she heard was weeping. Again she said, “Martha?”
There were some sniffles and then Martha said, “Yes, Lois.”
Lois was firm in her conviction that Clark would return, she said, “Martha, why don’t you and Jonathan come to Metropolis. I’m sure that when Clark returns he’ll want you guys here.”
“Lois, Honey. Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure. I know he’d want you here.”
There was a pause and Lois could hear a muffled conversation in the background and then Martha came back on the line, “Okay, Lois. We’ll catch the first flight we can. We’ll see you soon.”
“Okay, Martha. I’ll see you soon,” and she hung the phone up.
She started pacing, the TV forgotten and was repeating, over and over, “Where are you, Clark? Come on, Clark, come home to me.”
And now:
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Chapter 5
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The President had just spoken and Luthor had turned off the TV.
He was in a thoughtful mood as he moved out onto his balcony. A bonsai tree that he had been in the process of pruning before the announcement was awaiting his attention.
Luthor moved to the railing and looked out over the cityscape. He thought, <Sunset over Metropolis, a lovely sight to behold. How many more will there be?>
Luthor turned and approached the bonsai, he picked up the scissors and without looking at him, addressed Asabi in a philosophical or introspective tone, “You begin to take it for granted. You assume that every day the sun will rise in the east and set in the west. You assume that every night the moon will be there for your inspiration. You assume that spring will follow winter.”
He turned to face Asabi, gesturing with the scissors in hand, “I shall use this moment as a constant reminder for the future.
Assume nothing.”
Asabi replied with mid-eastern wisdom, “Hope for the best, plan for the worst.”
Luthor gave a slight bow and said, “That has always been my credo.” Putting an arm around Asabi’s shoulders, Luthor continued, “Asabi, see to it that Miss Lane is 'invited' to our little party. And let's make sure she has all the comforts of home.”
Asabi put his hands together in a salaam and gave a slight bow. Straightening up he left the balcony as Luthor proceeded to trim the bonsai tree.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Lois was restless. Now that the announcement had been made she was filled with nervous energy and the only place she felt that she would be in control was the offices of the Daily Planet. Even though it was growing late, Lois headed downtown.
No sooner had she dropped her bag next to her desk in the bullpen then her phone rang. Grabbing it she practically shouted, “Clark?”
She heard a dry chuckle from the receiver in a voice that was not familiar then the other party spoke, “Ms. Lane, this is Asabi, Mr. Luthor’s valet. He has asked me to pass along a message to you. He has something which may be of interest to you. He would like you co come see him at your earliest convenience.”
The only thing that would be of interest to Lois right then was Clark and there was a chance that Luthor had him. She had to take the chance, “Tell him that I’ll be right over.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
A short time later Lois parked her Jeep and headed into LexTower. She was met in the lobby by an individual wearing the apparel of a high class Indian servant.
He gave a salaam with a small bow and introduced himself, “I am Asabi, valet to Mr. Luthor. He has directed me to take you to him.” He held out an arm in the direction of a bank of elevators, “This way please.”
Lois moved in the indicated direction. After entering the elevator, Asabi inserted a card into a slot which allowed him to override the limits and push a button that otherwise would not respond. Lois felt the car descend.
Luthor was waiting for her when the doors of the elevator opened.
Luthor was at his most urbane as he spread his hands in welcome, “Ah, Lois, my dear. I’m so glad that you chose to join me.”
“What do you mean, ‘Join me’? I came because I thought you had some information on Superman.”
He replied, “Tsk, tsk, tsk. No such thing. I called you here to show you something.”
“Okay, I’ll bite. What do you want to show me?”
He spread his arms again and said, “This.”
Looking around, Lois saw white on white steel walls and asked, “Okay, just what is ‘this’?”
“Please come this way and I’ll explain as we go.” As Luthor started to take a leisurely stroll down the corridor he pointed out some of the features. They stopped at a schematic diagram and he said, “This is a drawing of this complex.”
Looking at the representation, Lois said, “It looks like a complete, underground city.”
Smiling at her perspicacity, Luthor said, “You are standing precisely five hundred meters below Metropolis street level. Surrounded by sixteen inch reinforced concrete walls. originally designed to survive a nuclear attack.”
Lois summed up, “A bunker.”
Luthor shook his head in negation as he replied, “I prefer to think of it as an ... 'Ark.' We have room for two hundred people. Enough supplies to last three years. Tools and implements for farming and manufacture for when we re-emerge.”
“So, even if the world dies, you live?”
“The survival of a species does not depend on the survival of all its members. Indeed, were the dinosaurs possessed of a somewhat larger brain, they, too, might have escaped their fate. Fortunately for us, they did not, and now, the next chance is ours.”
Imitating his earlier gesture and with some asperity, Lois threw her arms wide and asked, “Did you ask me here because you want me to write about this?”
Luthor was almost shocked and replied, “No, no. I seek no publicity. In fact, considering the circumstances, advertising the existence of this would seem to be rather cruel.”
Lois was exasperated and it was in her voice as she asked, “Than why
am I here?”
Their stroll had taken them to a particular door. Luthor pushed the door open and gestured for Lois to enter.
When she did, Lois was shocked. The inside was a duplicate of her old apartment. It held the same furniture and fish tank. She even recognized her fish. She gasped out, “This is my apartment!”
Luthor was smug, “Well, at least a reasonable facsimile thereof. I hope you like it.”
“What's not to like? I decorated it.” She stopped looking around and looked back at Luthor, “But I am more than a little confused.”
Luthor replied to her unspoken question, “I'm offering you a chance, Lois, to be a passenger on this ark. To be my special guest on mankind's next great adventure.”
Luthor moved to a window and threw it open to reveal a bright sunny day with a view as seen from Lois’s window.
Lois thought to herself, <That’s the window I always left unlocked for Superman.>
Luthor had been speaking while she had thought this, “… an illusion, of course, but, nonetheless, better than a wall. To help you remember the way things were and how they might be again.”
Lois was dumbfounded, “Why me, Lex?”
Luthor seemed to be sincere as he replied, “Because I care. And, I must admit; because three years will be a long time without ... 'companionship’.”
Lois looked aghast, “Lex, you seem to forget, I’m a married woman.”
Luthor played what he thought was his trump card, “A married woman who is still carrying a torch for another man. I’ve been collecting evidence and if I were to present it to Kent, he just might divorce you. It could be a moot point in any event, when that asteroid fragment hits, he could very well be history.”
Lois was wondering about these statements. Who could he be claiming she was carrying a torch for? Certainly not Claude! She hadn’t seen him in years. Patrick? She hadn’t seen him since her stay in Ireland. Then it hit her and she smiled a Mona Lisa smile <Superman. He thinks I’m cheating on Clark with Superman! If I play along maybe I’ll get more information.> “So, you’re offering me what, life, but with strings attached. I don’t know.”
Luthor thought that he had won and said, “Think about it. Look around before you decide. I’ll await your decision.” He turned and exited through the door.
Curious and deciding that she needed more information Lois moved into the bedroom. When she opened the closet she saw what looked like her clothing hanging there just as she had left them, when was that, oh, yes, while they had been away in Smallville. She pulled open a couple of drawers in the bureau and was surprised to see ‘her’ lingerie. Suddenly she was furious, but realized that if she revealed that she might never get out of here. She had to frame what she said in such a way that Luthor didn’t become suspicious or decide to keep her captive.
She hastened out the door and stopped Luthor before he turned the corner by calling to him, “Lex!”
Convinced that he had won his point he asked, “May I send someone to pack your personal belongings?”
“No. I've got a partner and husband who needs me. I've got friends at the paper that are like family to me. And I'm not giving up on Superman either. I can't stay here.”
Luthor tried his last argument, “Lois, mob rule is not a pretty sight. You don't have to see it.”
Lois shot him down, “Yes, I do. If what that asteroid does is destroy the world as we know it, I have to be there to see what takes its place. It may be the best comeback in history.”
Cynically, Luthor said, “Or the fastest knock-out.”
Lois replied, “Either way, I have to see for myself.”
Luthor was gracious because he still had hopes of Lois changing her mind so he had Asabi take her back to the surface.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Lois returned to the Planet. Once there she placed a call to the Twelfth Precinct, Bill Henderson.
“Bill, I need to report a missing person.”
“Not my department, Lane. You of all people should know that.”
“I do know, Bill. I’m asking this as a favor.”
In a longsuffering tone, Bill asked, “Okay … who’s missing?”
“My partner.”
Bill lost his façade of urbanity as he blurted out, “Kent? You need to keep better tabs on him, Lane.”
“Bill, this is serious. Clark is missing. He’s been gone all day.”
“Look, Lane, do you know how many missing person reports we get on a daily basis? Most of them turn up within twenty-four hours, that’s why the department policy is to wait forty-eight before processing a missing person report. Maybe he just got tired of working with you, did you consider that?”
Lois started to weep, “Bill, you don’t understand! We aren’t just partners anymore. We’re married! Clark wouldn’t just run out on me. He loves me.”
“Well, there’s no accounting for taste. Okay, as a favor to Kent, I’ll put out an APB. I’ll see what we can find.”
“Thanks, Bill. I owe you one.”
“Go home and get some sleep. If he shows up, remember to call and cancel the report.”
“Okay, I will. My dearest hope is that he walks in through the door and I can do just that.”
Lois cleared her desk and headed home, to 344 Clinton.
It seemed like hours before she was able to fall asleep
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
When Lois awoke in the morning she discovered that she had fallen asleep on the couch and that her head had been at an odd angle which had given her a crick in the neck. She stood and started rubbing her neck and massaging the muscles in an attempt to ‘loosen’ them up. Heading into the bedroom she hoped to see Clark in the bed, but seeing the still made bed she was disappointed.
Her desolation was profound and she went through her morning ablutions on auto-pilot. As quickly as she could she headed for the Planet where she hoped to hear something about Superman.
When she arrived at the Planet she was again disappointed. Perry was already there and when she asked if there was anything new his negative answer sent her into another fit of depression.
After she had been there for almost an hour she realized that she might have accomplished as much at home as she had at her desk because the sum total was … nothing. She hadn’t been able to concentrate on anything but Clark. She looked at the notepad sitting on her desk and all she saw was doodles, hearts with the initials CK & LL in the middle and a slightly misshapen pentagonal with a stylized ‘S’ in the center.
Seeing this Lois broke down and placing her head in her hands started to cry.
She was just starting to give vent to her emotions when her phone rang. She controlled herself enough to answer; however, there was one final sniffle before she was able to say, “Daily Planet, Lois Lane.”
A familiar voice came out of the earpiece, “Lane, Henderson here.”
She brightened, “Hi, Bill. Do you have something for me?”
“Yeah, I’d appreciate it if you would come down here and collect your property.”
Lois was confused, “Property? What property? I didn’t report any robbery.”
“None the less, I need you to come down here and claim your property. Now, Lane.”
He was being emphatic and that was unusual for the usually phlegmatic detective, so her curiosity was piqued. She replied, “Okay, Bill. I’ll be there shortly.”
“You do that little thing. I need the space.”
Lois was in a quandary as to exactly what property Bill could be referring to, but she knew he wasn’t one to play practical jokes. She stood up, put on her jacket, picked up her bag, fished out her keys and headed for Perry’s office. Sticking her head in the door she said, “Perry, I just had a weird call from Henderson. He wants me down at the precinct. I’ll let you know what it’s all about once I find out.”
“Be careful out there, Lois. Things are starting to heat up again.”
“Don’t worry, I will.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
When Lois arrived at the Twelfth Precinct she went up to the desk Sergeant and said, “Hi, Coop. I had a call from Henderson. Do you know what it’s all about?”
“Sorry, Ms. Lane. All I know is that he is back at Interview #3. You can go on back … just down that hallway.” He pointed off to the side.
Lois looked where he was pointing and nodded in understanding. “Thanks, Coop.”
“Don’t mention it.”
When she turned away she didn’t see the broad smile that creased his face as if he was in on a surprise that was about to be sprung.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Some time earlier.
Because of the situation following the announcement of the remaining asteroid fragment there had been a commotion at the Fifth Street Mission and the police had been summoned. Bill Henderson had been out on another call and was on his way back to the precinct when the call came in and since he was nearby he stopped in when the uniformed officers arrived.
The disturbance was quickly quelled and as it was Bill couldn’t believe his eyes. Sitting quietly at one of the tables, not having been involved in the disturbance sat Clark Kent. Bill approached him and asked, “Clark, what are you doing here?”
Clark looked up and there was obvious confusion in his eyes. He asked, “Who?”
Bill took in his attire and thought, <Somebody must have mugged him and taken his clothes as well as his money. There must have hit him on the head pretty hard. It’s like he doesn’t remember who he is. No wonder Lane couldn’t find him and why he didn’t come home.> He said, “My name is Bill Henderson, Detective Bill Henderson of the MPD. I’d like you to come with me.”
Clark had worry in his eyes as he said, “Why? Am I under arrest? I didn’t do anything. It was those guys.”
“I know. I’m not arresting you. I need you to come with me because there are some people that have been looking for you.”
“Oh, you know me?”
“Yeah, you could say that. I’ve known you for a while now.”
“We’re friends?”
Bill found himself saying something that in normal circumstances he would never admit to, “Yeah, we’re friends. Will you come with me?”
Clark picked up his tray and carried it over to the serving line and returned it, scraping the remains into the waste receptacle and placing the dishes and utensils in the bins for washing. He turned to the servers and said, “Thank you for the meal.”
The head server replied, “You’re welcome. Come again.”
Looking back over his shoulder at Bill he said, “I don’t know. He says he knows me so I may actually have a home nearby.”
“Good luck, buddy.”
“Thanks.” He turned and joined Bill.
Bill put a hand on his shoulder, said, “Come on, let’s get out of here,” and led him to his unmarked car for the trip to the precinct.
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