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Wrong Place, Wrong Time, Wrong Clark TOC can be found HereSee, I can post a part that ALL Lois and Clark! I hope to do that so much so in the future that it'll soon be odd when they *aren't* spending time together... Comments appreciated.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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To put it more accurately, he fumbled his keys because he had heard her heartbeat. Awwww Clark hadn’t taken offense. Clearly, she hadn’t wanted to make a scene in front of the guys, which her coming up to him and kissing him or hugging him would have been. JIMMIES: Better than the x-rated cinema one street over. “Perry’s invited us all over to his house for dinner,” she announced before he and Jimmy had made it down the steps. “I’ve brought my Cherokee, so we can go together as a group.” Translation: Clark, my car is big enough to ferry around a whole bunch of rugrats. Let’s get the process started. “Oh,” Clark said. He felt guilty at being relieved that it wouldn’t just be the two of them. The physical gestures required between a new couple eating dinner at their boss’s house for the first time, surrounded by their co-workers, would be much subtler than if they had eaten alone at Lois’s or in a restaurant. ‘required’? LOIS: He doesn’t love me Denny glanced up for a second before his gaze returned to his TV program. Apparently, the television belonged to Jimmy, not his cousin. If Jimmy were staying at her place, Lois certainly wouldn’t invite Clark to stay the night. It’s not even my fault, this time! Only, what’s Jenny going to say that her beau is shacking up with a Mrs. Robinson? “A showgirl?” Jack asked hopefully.
“A hooker?” Jimbo said, equally full of hope.
“Take that back!” Jimmy warned, moving towards his cousin. Oh boy. “Oh!” Jimbo gasped, staggering out of Jimmy’s reach. “You mean a real someone?”
“Of course, a real person,” Jimmy snapped. “She’s not some blowup doll.” Well…considering… JIMMY: You bring home *one* blow-up doll and you’re marked for life. Perhaps he only thought she appeared sexier because she now didn’t look like the woman on Luthor’s sex tape. No, actually it’s because she now looks like the Lois he has the hots for. Kiss him as he had last kissed her, as if finally they could soon be together and tonight was ‘soon’. Well…he did once almost throw up into her mouth, so… except maybe some floating on his part. Like supper floating back up? He wanted to forget it and wipe it from his memory forever. Maybe if he kissed Zara? Perry suggested that it would be better for Lois Lane’s reputation as a reporter, if immediately after her faux wedding to Lex Luthor that she wasn’t seen romantically linked to another man.” So they wouldn’t have *another* reason to call her a whore? “The real you is a redhead?” he asked, skipping to the side to miss her fist encountering his bicep. He got a thing for redheads? GIBBS: She grabbed his finger. “If I recall the incident correctly, I was trying hard not to cheat on the other you with you,” she reminded him, So, she is an…umm…what’s the word for a woman who is entertaining multiple romantic partners at the same time? CAT: Empowered? “Oh, no,” Clark said. “That guy’s still here. He’s the smart one.”
She pursed her lips. No agreeing, huh? Then a thought seemed to strike her because her lips curved up into a smile and she licked those lips in anticipation. CLARK: “How about when you’re naked?” she asked.
Clark tripped on the uneven sidewalk. and that she would be spending a week on the space station.
There was no reason to panic, he reminded himself. And what when she gets back and is all hot and bothered? He spun into his laundered Suit in their living room to which he earned the jesting comment from Phil, “Really, Kent, must you do that in front of my wife?” As he returned to Metropolis, he tuned into the local time and saw that he had left Lois only ten minutes earlier. Enough time for her to get lonapped, pulled down into the sewers, and taken on a route to the nearest submarine? She couldn’t believe that she had told Clark that she wanted to kiss him while he was naked.
What could she have been thinking? That it was nine o’clock? What could she have been thinking?
She had openly flirted with her… her… romantic partner. She wasn’t even sure what Jimmy liked to eat. Something with at least 30% sugar? LOIS: Let’s see…I’ve got the whole-wheat super-health muesli and the freshly pressed orange syrup. What’s next… “Pick these yourself?” she asked wryly.
“Sure did,” Clark said. “From that flower stand in Centennial Park.” Isn’t he sweet? “Can I quote you on that?” she teased. “My handy, dandy, big blue Boy Scout.” Isn’t she adorable? LOIS: I like to think so. Needless to say, she had wanted more than a picnic, and he had accidentally chosen clouds with rain in them for the journey back to Metropolis. Accidentally on purpose? “We were both soaked by the time I dropped her off on her balcony. She asked me in to dry off while she got comfortable. She decided to forgive him and put on a silk kimono? Lois laughed. “That’s good, because I hear he doesn’t do that kind of charity anymore.”
His eyes widened with alarm at that thought. Staking her claim? “I wouldn’t be surprised if someone paid her to try and seduce Superman.” Wouldn’t that make her a hooker? IT-Girl: High-priced callgirl, if you please. It was a date. She was sure that Clark would have forgiven her by then for what she had set up to keep him safe. /scratches head/ Until then, she was doing all she could to put Humpty Dumpty back together again, but sometimes she was going to have to force the fit. Maybe even cut off a tab? She could tell Clark wasn’t ready for intimacy. Why did her mouth always work before her brain could stop it? “I know that he had made up a mask in my image and that he… he…” Maybe he put the mask on several women whom he then shot in front of Superman? She heard him drawn in a breath There's an 'n' too much in there. She smiled weakly at him. “Not for that.” She bit her bottom lip before blurting out, “I promised EPRAD that I would ask Superman to check the shuttle for bombs before liftoff tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow?!” She in a hurry? Also, probably wise, to make sure. But considering the ‘keep him safe’ thing, is she going to green-k him and put him on the shuttle with her? Michael
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Darth Michael: Yea! I still have a reader left who likes banter! JIMMIES: Better than the x-rated cinema one street over. LOIS: Okay! Who gave the Jimmys xray vision? Translation: Clark, my car is big enough to ferry around a whole bunch of rugrats. Let’s get the process started. CLARK: LOIS: /takes away Kryptonian dictionary, replaces it with Lois Lane Dictionary/ CLARK: Translation: This car is the right size for using as a camper while on the run from any number of people who might want to kill Lois. ER: /laughing at Clark's subsequent discomfort/ ‘required’? LOIS: He doesn’t love me /crying/ CLARK: Um... I meant 'required' in a good way? It’s not even my fault, this time! Only, what’s Jenny going to say that her beau is shacking up with a Mrs. Robinson? "Get the hell back to Vegas, my little Superman!" LOIS: /wincing/ Oh, that's just wrong. CLARK: /grimacing/ You don't have to tell me. “A showgirl?” Jack asked hopefully.
“A hooker?” Jimbo said, equally full of hope.
“Take that back!” Jimmy warned, moving towards his cousin. Oh boy. JIMMY: Jenny is NOT a boy! CLARK: Just talked all night, did you? JIMMY: Well…considering… JIMMY: You bring home *one* blow-up doll and you’re marked for life. Yep. I went with the blow up doll in Vegas joke. No, actually it’s because she now looks like the Lois he has the hots for. He's already felt guilty about that. Should it continue to be a nagging festering wound? Well…he did once almost throw up into her mouth, so… CLARK: That was because of the chocolate! LOIS: And many months ago! Like supper floating back up? No, more like toes leaving the floor. Zara does not make an appearance within this boundaries of this story. So they wouldn’t have *another* reason to call her a whore? PERRY: I mean, NO! So, it doesn't undermine her reputation as a reporter. NUNK: Too late! He got a thing for redheads? GIBBS: /wave/ Finally catching up on S8. I really don't have patience for shows that aren't on Netflix's instant list. Also, I figured Lois couldn't always be impersonating Mayson. So, she is an…umm…what’s the word for a woman who is entertaining multiple romantic partners at the same time? CAT: Empowered? JIMMY: Pretty? MARTHA: A modern woman? JONATHAN: Martha! MARTHA: What? The description didn't include married. LOIS: I don't think any of Clark's personas can be described as "the smart one." And what when she gets back and is all hot and bothered? CLARK: How can she be hot and bothered? Space is cold. LOIS: He's got a nice body. Enough time for her to get lonapped, pulled down into the sewers, and taken on a route to the nearest submarine? But she's in disguise! That it was nine o’clock? Actually, closer to 6 pm., but 'yes'. Something with at least 30% sugar? LOIS: Let’s see…I’ve got the whole-wheat super-health muesli and the freshly pressed orange syrup. What’s next… Ho-hos, DingDongs, and Twinkies? LOIS: /marks checklist/ Follows instructions. Isn’t she adorable? LOIS: I like to think so. So, Clark isn't a handy, dandy Big Blue Boyscout? SUPERMAN: She decided to forgive him and put on a silk kimono? That sounds about right. Lois laughed. “That’s good, because I hear he doesn’t do that kind of charity anymore.”
His eyes widened with alarm at that thought. Staking her claim? No, the alarm was at the thought of going through another charity auction. Lois had been correct. “I wouldn’t be surprised if someone paid her to try and seduce Superman.” Wouldn’t that make her a hooker? IT-Girl: High-priced callgirl, if you please. LEX: Money wasn't exchanged. Jewelry yes, but no money. So, it doesn't count. It was a date. She was sure that Clark would have forgiven her by then for what she had set up to keep him safe. /scratches head/ Yep, Lois has another trick up her sleeve. Maybe even cut off a tab? CLARK: /swallows/ Um... no thank you. She could tell Clark wasn’t ready for intimacy. Why did her mouth always work before her brain could stop it? ER: /wonders if Lois and Clark's brains switched bodies/ Um... because she leaps before she leaps? Maybe he put the mask on several women whom he then shot in front of Superman? And that wouldn't have traumatized him? There's an 'n' too much in there. EW: Thanks. Fixed. CLARK: So, I shouldn't have drawn a diagram here? /crumples paper/ my bad. She in a hurry? Also, probably wise, to make sure. But considering the ‘keep him safe’ thing, is she going to green-k him and put him on the shuttle with her? Does Lois set the departure times and days for EPRAD shuttles? How is using Green-K on Clark going to keep him safe? CLARK: Exactly, because if we have sex while I'm suffering from Green K exposure, *I* could very well end up being the one who dies. LOIS: Say, *what?!* CLARK: Sorry, 'make love'. LOIS: No, let's go back to the scenario where one of us dies if we're intimate. CLARK: oops. Oh, don't you worry about that, Lois. That look in your eye tells me it isn't going to happen any time in the near future. LOIS: Why, Look, Clark. You've become psychic like me.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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I still have a reader left who likes banter! Always! LOIS: Okay! Who gave the Jimmys xray vision? LOIS: /takes away Kryptonian dictionary, replaces it with Lois Lane Dictionary/ CLARK: Translation: This car is the right size for using as a camper while on the run from any number of people who might want to kill Lois. Although, why was Clark happy at the notion of Lois wanting to engage in carnal relations with him and not taking ‘no’ for an answer even if it kills her? CLARK: Um... I meant 'required' in a good way? He keeps stepping into things, doesn’t he? First the ‘just Lois’, now this. Maybe he should just shut up and look pretty? "Get the hell back to Vegas, my little Superman!" LOIS: /wincing/ Oh, that's just wrong. CLARK: /grimacing/ You don't have to tell me. Oh boy. JIMMY: <sees commas everywhere> Jenny is NOT a boy! CLARK: Just talked all night, did you? JIMMY: <not saying anything about checking her neck for any sign of an adam’s apple> I went with the blow up doll in Vegas joke. Actually, is that an American thing, blowup dolls in Vegas? He's already felt guilty about that. Should it continue to be a nagging festering wound? More fun for the readers? Less resolved tension for Lois? CLARK: That was because of the chocolate! LOIS: And many months ago! Yes, and now it’s because of his memory of Lex. And considering it takes an asteroid to wipe that noggin clean… I really don't have patience for shows that aren't on Netflix's instant list. Also, I figured Lois couldn't always be impersonating Mayson. You mean, ‘hot blonde’? MARTHA: What? The description didn't include married. LOIS: I don't think any of Clark's personas can be described as "the smart one." FTH. CARLOS: I chose a live without a Lois. LOIS: Not helping your case there, buddy. CLARK: How can she be hot and bothered? Space is cold. LOIS: <can’t believe she settled for him because> He's got a nice body. And that’s keeping her safe from generic trackers how? Ho-hos, DingDongs, and Twinkies? Although I was going for random pseudo-healthy foods with a surprisingly high sugar contents. So, Clark isn't a handy, dandy Big Blue Boyscout? I was thinking about the attempted interview. Duh! LEX: Money wasn't exchanged. Jewelry yes, but no money. So, it doesn't count. See? And Lois went with the same deal, only she charged the Daily Planet building. Quote: Maybe even cut off a tab? CLARK: shock /swallows/ Um... no thank you. ER: /wonders if Lois and Clark's brains switched bodies/ Um... because she leaps before she leaps? Actually, it was more of a rhetorical question… Quote: Maybe he put the mask on several women whom he then shot in front of Superman? And that wouldn't have traumatized him? Oh no, it surely would have. Especially when he’s already weakened from Kryptonite, got a splitting headache and could never be sure whether it’s Lois or not. I was merely trying to offer them new, different options of what all could have happened. CLARK: So, I shouldn't have drawn a diagram here? /crumples paper/ my bad. How is using Green-K on Clark going to keep him safe? Because he’d be on the shuttle and not able to fly back down under his own power? CLARK: Exactly, because if we have sex while I'm suffering from Green K exposure, *I* could very well end up being the one who dies. LOIS: Say, *what?!* CLARK: Sorry, 'make love'. LOIS: No, let's go back to the scenario where one of us dies if we're intimate. CLARK: oops. Oh, don't you worry about that, Lois. That look in your eye tells me it isn't going to happen any time in the near future. LOIS: Why, Look, Clark. You've become psychic like me. Oops? Michael
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LOIS: /takes away Kryptonian dictionary, replaces it with Lois Lane Dictionary/ CLARK: Translation: This car is the right size for using as a camper while on the run from any number of people who might want to kill Lois. ER: Although, why was Clark happy at the notion of Lois wanting to engage in carnal relations with him and not taking ‘no’ for an answer even if it kills her? CLARK: Because it meant they beat the curse. CLARK: Um... I meant 'required' in a good way? ER: He keeps stepping into things, doesn’t he? First the ‘just Lois’, now this. Maybe he should just shut up and look pretty? And be strong and heroic? EW: I went with the blow up doll in Vegas joke. ER: Actually, is that an American thing, blowup dolls in Vegas? Apparently in raunchy Vegas college frat guy (or post college) movies. Anyway, I hear *anything* is possible in Vegas. EW: He's already felt guilty about that. Should it continue to be a nagging festering wound? ER: More fun for the readers? Less resolved tension for Lois? Like this story need more of those. (The latter. I hope to provide lots of the former.) CLARK: That was because of the chocolate! LOIS: And many months ago! ER: Yes, and now it’s because of his memory of Lex. And considering it takes an asteroid to wipe that noggin clean… FRISKIN: So, Mr. Kent, you want to talk about this gag reflex you have whenever you try to be intimate with your girlfriend? Have you ever thought about dumping her and moving on? CLARK: No. EW: Also, I figured Lois couldn't always be impersonating Mayson. ER: You mean, ‘hot blonde’? MAYSON: Thank you. LOIS: I don't think any of Clark's personas can be described as "the smart one." FTH. CARLOS: I chose a live without a Lois. LOIS: Not helping your case there, buddy. CARLOS: CLARK: So close. EW: But she's in disguise! ER: And that’s keeping her safe from generic trackers how? Ohhhh. You mean electronic trackers. Hmmmm. EW: Ho-hos, DingDongs, and Twinkies? ER: Although I was going for random pseudo-healthy foods with a surprisingly high sugar contents. Granola? Powerbars? Chocolate milk? Iced Espresso? LEX: Money wasn't exchanged. Jewelry yes, but no money. So, it doesn't count. ER: See? And Lois went with the same deal, only she charged the Daily Planet building. IRS: Nope. Sounds like a taxable situation to us. ER: Maybe he put the mask on several women whom he then shot in front of Superman? EW: And that wouldn't have traumatized him? ER: Oh no, it surely would have. Especially when he’s already weakened from Kryptonite, got a splitting headache and could never be sure whether it’s Lois or not. I was merely trying to offer them new, different options of what all could have happened. CLARK: Like I was getting any sleep due to nightmares anyway. What's a few more sleepless nights? Thanks, Michael. ER: How is using Green-K on Clark going to keep him safe? EW: Because he’d be on the shuttle and not able to fly back down under his own power? LOIS: I should've used Krytponite. CLARK: And that wouldn't have caused problems in our relationship, how?
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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ER: Although, why was Clark happy at the notion of Lois wanting to engage in carnal relations with him and not taking ‘no’ for an answer even if it kills her? CLARK: Because it meant they beat the curse. Because they no longer care if Lois dies from too much hanky-panky? ER: Maybe he should just shut up and look pretty? EW: And be strong and heroic? ER: More fun for the readers? Less resolved tension for Lois? Like this story need more of those. (The latter. I hope to provide lots of the former.) FRISKIN: So, Mr. Kent, you want to talk about this gag reflex you have whenever you try to be intimate with your girlfriend? Have you ever thought about dumping her and moving on? CLARK: No. FRISKIN: Just a moment please. /dials phone/ Is this Yacht’R’US? Yes, I will take that 30ft. Sea Queen model now. Yes, with the gilded bathroom fixtures. ER: And that’s keeping her safe from generic trackers how? Ohhhh. You mean electronic trackers. Hmmmm. That should have been ‘genetic trackers’. Granola? Powerbars? Chocolate milk? Iced Espresso? CLARK: Like I was getting any sleep due to nightmares anyway. What's a few more sleepless nights? Thanks, Michael. You’re welcome. Meanwhile… MET STAR: Crime in Metropolis at all time low. LOIS: I should've used Krytponite. CLARK: And that wouldn't have caused problems in our relationship, how? Because when he comes to, he’d wake up tied to his bed, stripped naked, and with Lois ready to have some fun? Michael
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ER: Although, why was Clark happy at the notion of Lois wanting to engage in carnal relations with him and not taking ‘no’ for an answer even if it kills her? CLARK: Because it meant they beat the curse. ER: Because they no longer care if Lois dies from too much hanky-panky? LOIS: If there's no risk, there's no excitement value. /points to self/ adrenaline junkie, remember? FRISKIN: So, Mr. Kent, you want to talk about this gag reflex you have whenever you try to be intimate with your girlfriend? Have you ever thought about dumping her and moving on? CLARK: No. FRISKIN: Just a moment please. /dials phone/ Is this Yacht’R’US? Yes, I will take that 30ft. Sea Queen model now. Yes, with the gilded bathroom fixtures. Yes, Clark has difficulty moving on. TEMPUS: Tell me about it! FRISKIN: No, tell *me* about it, Mr. Tempus. /doodles on her pad vacation house on the beach in Hawaii/ ER: And that’s keeping her safe from generic trackers how? EW: Ohhhh. You mean electronic trackers. Hmmmm. ER: That should have been ‘genetic trackers’. Oh, that makes more sense. What were we talking about again? CLARK: Like I was getting any sleep due to nightmares anyway. What's a few more sleepless nights? Thanks, Michael. ER: You’re welcome. Meanwhile… MET STAR: Crime in Metropolis at all time low. Is that due to more CK being SM or less Lex in the city? /no pun intended/ LOIS: I should've used Krytponite. CLARK: And that wouldn't have caused problems in our relationship, how? ER: Because when he comes to, he’d wake up tied to his bed, stripped naked, and with Lois ready to have some fun? CLARK: Again, how is that not going to cause problems in our relationship? LOIS: He really isn't like other guys, is he?
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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LOIS: If there's no risk, there's no excitement value. /points to self/ adrenaline junkie, remember? Yes, groobie’s story is still on my to-FDK list. FRISKIN: No, tell *me* about it, Mr. Tempus. /doodles on her pad vacation house on the beach in Hawaii/ Oh, that makes more sense. What were we talking about again? Umm…the magic bullets from that Intergang episode? It’s been a wee while. Is that due to more CK being SM or less Lex in the city? /no pun intended/ Well…no matter how much Lex thinks of himself, I’d say the first one. After all, there’s always someone to pick up the criminal slack. LOIS: You mean ‘criminal sludge’, right? As in, someone cleaning the Lex Plaza after the investigation came to a close. CLARK: Again, how is that not going to cause problems in our relationship? LOIS: He really isn't like other guys, is he? ER: Nope. Wouldn’t know what to do with a woman if she drew him a diagram. RACHEL: I did offer him one. He wasn’t interested. LANA: Maybe he’s more into guys? FT. CARLOS: He does hang around me a lot. Michael
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