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Joined: Jun 2011
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Kerth
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OP
Kerth
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,131 |
Reviews? What was the talent?
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness. --Mark Twain
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
Yea! Mouse has returned! Oh, what a fun insightful vignette. It just screams for a sequel. Perhaps a series of one shots of Lois trying to figure out *who* exactly Superman is. Yes, being Superman for longer than it took to rescue someone has always been Clark's downfall. There's a part of him which forgets that he's not being Clark and let's down his guard. This was the absolutely wrong time to show it. In front of Lois no less. Very fun, Mouse. More please.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Joined: Dec 2003
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,082 |
I never could get that cherry tying trick down! But I suppose if you were more specific with how talented Clark's tongue is, then the story would belong on the other side of the boards. It's always nice to see Lois using her brain, putting the clues together.
You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie.
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Mar 2013
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You need to continue this. We need to see Lois figure it out now. Possibly even Clark shows off this trick at the next Daily Planet party, or Lois notices more things that Superman understands/knows that he shouldn't, and Clark does one (or more) of those.
Please.
KatherineKent/Victoria Lois: "You put up with me for the same reason I put up with you. It's because I'm completely in love with you." Clark: "And I love you ... Did we just make up?" Lois: "I think so."
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,424 Likes: 1 |
What a fun story.
Lois missed the most likely (although, obviously, incorrect) solution to the problem: Krypton had had a counterpart to cherries and Superman had learned the trick on his original planet. Or the next most likely one: He learned it here and practiced with super speed. But then again, that is Lois through and through: She does consistently come up with completely outrageous scenarios that just happen to be the right ones.
Now what I really want to know is what "Madame Blavatsky"/Perry told Superman as his fortune. Also, just where did *Clark* learn that trick?
Joy, Lynn
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Now what I really want to know is what "Madame Blavatsky"/Perry told Superman as his fortune. Yes, me too. He came out smiling! Also, just where did *Clark* learn that trick? Again, me too. And Lois better be experiencing how good Clark is with his tongue soon, too.
KatherineKent/Victoria Lois: "You put up with me for the same reason I put up with you. It's because I'm completely in love with you." Clark: "And I love you ... Did we just make up?" Lois: "I think so."
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3 |
I never could do the cherry stem thing either. My tongue isn't that agile. That Superman can, however, speaks highly of his athleticism and manual dexterity. Maybe Kal-El would have been an exceptional athlete if Krypton hadn't exploded. After all, he picked up that Kryptonian staff skill from Ching pretty fast in S4 and defeated Nor with it.
I think the fact that he can converse with normal humans about their normal stuff is pretty impressive, too. Lois should have picked up on that earlier, but maybe now she'll start thinking about it.
Very original premise, Mouse. And now you, with Arnold, can categorically state, "I'm back!"
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Joined: Feb 2010
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Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 739 Likes: 2 |
If Lois noticed that Superman knew the trick and by knowing the trick, it's social connotations, then she might wonder what he intended by leaving the cherry stem next to her.
Shallowford
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 3,057 Likes: 20 |
Wonderful! I love it! And thanks for answering the challenge! This really does cry out for a sequel. I can just picture Lois trying to rope Clark into her investigation. Either way, more please?
~•~
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Joined: Sep 2006
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,292 |
I love this little story. I actually re-read it very early this morning - before work, no less! Like the others, I'd love to see a sequel. Or a whole series of sequels. I'm not asking for much, am I?
And, as has been stated before now, I'd also love to know what kind of fortune Perry told "Superman". (A good horse is like a member of the family, maybe? He just might have overheard that conversation because he was working late, too.)
The only known quantity that moves faster than light is the office grapevine. (from Nan's fabulous Home series)
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3 |
Hi, Mouse! His joy at the simple things was infectious. Um, Lois? Does he look familiar in this moment? He took a bite out of a strawberry-- and oh, that made Lois moan You aren't the only one, Lois. Then a second thought hit her. Uh-oh! Superman tied a knot in a cherry stem. Clark! Where did he learn that trick? When? From whom? And will he show her just how uh, talented, his tongue is? Perry’s booming laugh chasing him out. Love this image. Run, Clark! Run! Superman was a regular person. And Lois Lane was going to find out just who that person was. As Clark might say: "Oh boy!" Cute story! Good to see you around here!
Battle On, Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Posts: 3,784 Likes: 28
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,784 Likes: 28 |
Hey, the mouse roars! The more important question of course was how. How could he possibly have the time, in the last several months, to learn it, how would he learn unless he wasn’t with someone in a rescuing-capacity? How would he go unrecognized if that was the case? Sure, she could invent a scenario where he created an alternate persona in which he practiced human customs so as to come across as normal, or that he spent his off time he hung out at bars or with questionable associates. But there was occam’s razor. So, the simple answer to the question of how Superman, given his short time on this earth, would have the time and ability to learn such a peculiar talent? Better duck Superman, Mad Dog Lane is tracking you down! Oh yeah, the bit with Perry was a hoot!
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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Kerth
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OP
Kerth
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,131 |
Thanks everybody for the reviews! I'm going to try and address them quickly yet detailed enough... Virginia: Glad you liked it. Let me start out by saying this: I have made a promise to myself that until I *FINSIH ONE LONG WIP STORY* I will not start any other long stories. This is what happens to me. I will allow myself a one shot (or two), but I've gotta finish something because I've recently realized that I'm that author that I hate to read because I'm 19 chapters in and no ending in sight... That being said, I will consider coming back for another related one shot to this ficlet, because it was fun to write, and also I'm planning on wrapping up one story in the next couple of weeks. So you might get it as a reward. LWhite: Thanks! I agree with your points about Superman/Clark. If anybody thought about it too closely, they would find some odd ticks that Superman shouldn't have picked up on. I think though people would probably be too starstruck to notice that in most cases. I'll have to see if I add a brief little sequel or not. Groobie: Haha, me neither! I am not coordinated in any sense. I left the details of cherry tying specifically vague. Although, it might be more fun to do it your way... KatherineKent: Haha, I might do a follow up ficlet about Lois' discovery, or maybe just something from Clark's perspective. Have to wait and see. Again, I've gotta finish something first. Lynn: I love your explanations! I can just picture the look on Lois' face if she went up to him with proof he was a human and Superman just brushed it off on "we-had-cherries-on-krypton" As for where Clark learned the trick... I dunno. I just figured, a bored teenage boy in the Midwest with super speed-- he'd find a way to figure it out. Terry: Yeah, I actually don't know that many people who can tie a knot in a cherry stem... I'd certainly be impressed if Supes could do it. Like I said, if anyone took a moment to rethink Superman, they would find his story full of holes. Lois especially though should see through it, at least eventually. If I write a follow up, I might go into that. Shallowford: I actually didn't consider that! I just thought of it as an absent minded thing, or perhaps something he was doing on a subconscious level. Maybe just being close to Lois would cause him to impulsively do that. Very interesting thought! Lois misinterpreting it could lead to some intriguing complications... Queenie: Thanks! Maybe I will do more. Eventually. Props goes to you for inspiring this though. Lara: I would love for that to have been Perry's fortune! Would have been great... I doubt I'll include this scene in a follow up, so you can just imagine that's what he said, followed by awkwardness, gentle ribbing, and mutual understanding. Deadly Chakram: Thanks for all your comments! It's good to be back, I missed it here. Life just has been super busy. And will he show her just how uh, talented, his tongue is? Giggity. Morgana: Haha, thanks! Yeah, Clark needs to be on the lookout, but I doubt he even has a clue what to look for at this point. Thanks for reading once again, everybody! It's good to be back.
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness. --Mark Twain
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Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,358 Likes: 1
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,358 Likes: 1 |
Tales of Dystopia is getting close?? All right!!
You mentioned somewhere that I can't find right now that it could be a number of stories in an arc, is that still the case or did you condense it down.
Just curious.
Mike
Create all the happiness you are able to create. Remove all the misery you are able to remove.
Jeremy Bentham
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Joined: Jun 2011
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Kerth
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OP
Kerth
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,131 |
Haha, Mike. Not so close on that one. I mean, it's all planned, but I'm not where I want to be quite yet in the writing process... and yes, it will be a couple of stories in that arc, I'm not very good at condensing things. The story I'm actually close on finishing is a Castle fic, probably only 3 chapters away. The Lois and Clark story that I'm currently hellbent on finishing is my anti-verse story. I'm on a roll with that one, but I also promised myself I wouldn't post it until I'm done/super close to done because I don't want to end up in this position again. But Tales of Dystopia I'm always trying to find time to work on, so don't worry too much.
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness. --Mark Twain
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Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,358 Likes: 1
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,358 Likes: 1 |
Damn! You had me excited for a few minutes!
You mentioned we needed to keep poking you on this one so consider yourself poked...
Mike
Create all the happiness you are able to create. Remove all the misery you are able to remove.
Jeremy Bentham
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,131
Kerth
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OP
Kerth
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 2,131 |
Haha, I will take the bait... Yeah just keep reminding me and I'll get around with it sooner or later.
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness. --Mark Twain
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,466 |
Late to the party on this one, but wanted to say Mouse how great of a story this was! What a fun idea--how something as random as tying a cherry with his tongue would be what gets Mad Dog Lane on Superman's case. You make such an excellent point though--if he's relatively new to Earth, something like this would no way be a priority or something he has picked up yet. Clark on the other hand? Can totally see him just randomly trying to challenge himself to figure it out. I would love to see how Clark would react if Lois decided to tell him this new bit of Superman info Great job Laura
"Where's Clark?" "Right here."
...two simple sentences--with so much meaning.
~Lois and Clark in 'House of Luthor'~
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Sep 2006
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I have to agree; I’d love to see a sequel! Lois has the thread, but where will it lead her?
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,065 Likes: 31
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,065 Likes: 31 |
Hi Mouse! his excitement would slip through Like when he sees the Superman action figures or the jewelry with the nice, green stones? Some of the people offered him something, feeling star struck. Most times he refused, merely stating he was just curious. Other times, he’d accepted. Like with the kissing booth? He popped a whole cherry in his mouth, stem and all, and Lois briefly found herself wondering if he knew not to eat the stems. Ooooh! Like in Wasted Revelations by BJ? And yet he knew better than to eat the top of the strawberry earlier. Maybe that’s because he’s got an aversion to bright green? He’d been here for almost a year now, surely he’d picked up on some things. Unfortunately, Lois is not amongst those. Mr. Superman! Would you like to hear your future told? Madam B: And you will marry a feisty brunette, but only after you have bared all. Superman tied a knot in a cherry stem. This wasn’t something he’d have picked up randomly in the last six months or so. It was something that would have taken knowledge, practice and experience, and it just wasn’t something an alien from outer space who also spends most of his time saving the world would have the time or care to learn. Well, it works with the concubines back home? Where did he learn that trick? When? From whom? LINDA: It meant he hadn’t arrived only a year ago, that he wasn’t just Superman. He had other experiences, another life that enabled him to learn human things, to live a normal life. To be a human. Superman was a regular person. And Lois Lane was going to find out just who that person was. More, please! Michael
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