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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Mar 2006
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All I wanted was a more romantic (and angsty) send off for Superman in ASU. Did I succeed? Full story
Lois: You know, I have a funny feeling that you didn't tell me your biggest secret.
Clark: Well, just to put your little mind at ease, Lois, you're right.
Ides of Metropolis
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Pulitzer
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Absolutely! I'm glad that Lois and Clark reached an understanding of sorts, but I just hope that Clark did hear Lois tell him he loved her. Given his super hearing, I would say that that is a real possibility. It would give him great comfort to think on that in his trip toward the asteroid. In any event, he can dwell on the kiss; even if he hadn't heard her words, her actions would have told him of her love. (That kiss did not sound like it could possibly have been construed as either just an "I'm sorry" kiss or a platonic kiss wishing him luck.) I am eagerly awaiting the epilogue. Joy, Lynn
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Yea! Lois finally found Clark.  I was worried when Lois was taken into the back that the General actually wanted to yell at her for leaking the story that Superman had told her. I'm so glad you didn't go that route. I agree with Lois. It crossed my mind that they weren't exactly private in their conference room. I'm glad that they were. Let's hope that Clark wasn't being overly optimistic. I liked the more private goodbye than the public one. It's more appropriate to their relationship. I'm curious how a knowing Lois will take care of an amnesiac Clark. Then again, since he's just shoving it out of the way (that's what you said he'd do in part 1, right?), maybe he won't come back with amnesia. The dialogue from canon works so much better with Lois forcing Clark to promise that he'll come back. In her own way, she's saving Superman this time. I like that that.  Very romantic. Very angsty. Let's hope Clark makes it back, or Lois will be seriously ticked! 
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Great story as usual Sue. I really liked the ending.  Artemis
History is easy once you've lived it. - Duncan MacLeod
Writing history is easy once you've lived it. - Artemis
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Kerth
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Kerth
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Love it, Sue. So much more emotional than the episode, and so much more fitting for them to have that moment in private rather than on international tv.  I look forward to the sequel next year. 
You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie.
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Another great story Sue! You sure know how to put Lois and Clark through an emotional wringer in a realistic way. I liked that they got to spend a quiet few moments in private to have their goodbyes. Also, Lois not being able to leave like Clark wanting her to. Yet, Clark still understands why she's there. I can totally picture the scene playing out in my head. I can't wait for the epilogue. Sarah
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Yes, you succeeded! I LOVED this version of events! And I can't wait for an epilogue! I'll try to be patient! 
Reach for the moon, for even if you fail, you'll still land among the stars... and who knows? Maybe you'll meet Superman along the way.
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Mar 2006
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Lynn - Thank you! I'm glad I succeeded in your eyes.  Lois did tell him that she loved him (in part one, just before he told her that he was Superman), so he knows how deeply she cares. I'm glad that kiss came across as something that couldn't be construed as platonic comfort or apology. Virginia - Having General Zeitlin yell at Lois pre-launch never even entered my mind! Thank you for noticing that I bent the canon dialog to fit the story. And, once again, you've guessed very close on a couple of things in the story going forward. I swear you're hacking into my hard drive. Or we're sharing some kind of long-distance telepathy. Artemis - Thanks! I'm so happy you liked the ending! I was a little worried about stopping it there. You've put my mind at ease. Susan - Thank you! Thank you so much for being so enthusiastic and supportive -- even when I sent you what was basically electronic scribbles. If this story shines at all, it's entirely due to you.  sarah - LOL! Yeah, I guess I do kind of enjoy tormenting our heroes. But they always come out happier and stronger at the end! I'm overjoyed that you could picture it in your head -- it means I got something right! Thank you! mozartmaid - Yay! I'm so glad you liked it! I promise not to make you wait too long for the epilogue. Thanks so much to everyone who's replied! You guys have made the end of the year sparkle and shine for me! 
Lois: You know, I have a funny feeling that you didn't tell me your biggest secret.
Clark: Well, just to put your little mind at ease, Lois, you're right.
Ides of Metropolis
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Oh yeah, you succeeded. I like Virginia's line that Clark had better make it back or Lois will be seriously ticked off . I loved the 'makeup' session in the conference room and that she was able to address him as Clark to make sure he knew to whom she was talking. I also loved the wrangling of the 'promise' out of him. He believing that if he promised something he then had to fulfill it and he was not sure that would be possible. Her explaining her version of 'promise' to him, not letting him know that her true purpose was to give him a reason to come home and something/someone to come home to. She obviously thought he was in almost defeatist mode that last time the spoke(which he was) and she needed to do something about that! Excellent as usual Sue. Mike
Create all the happiness you are able to create.
Remove all the misery you are able to remove.
Jeremy Bentham
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Virginia I swear you're hacking into my hard drive. Or we're sharing some kind of long-distance telepathy. I don't have the computer ability for the first, but it could be our Clark muses are talking. If that's true, can you tell me how to finish my Ultra Woman story, because right now it's feeling as if I'm rambling along (in both senses of the word).  I want to get it off my hard drive. I hate for my stories to gather dust, or I lose inspiration. 
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,367 |
Happy New Year!  All this lovely feedback -- what a great way to start off my year! LWhite - Thank you! It does sound like a good thing. It was a really fun angle to explore. Mike - Mike! OMG! I'm so thrilled to see you again!  I'm glad you liked the story and Lois' twisted logic on extracting that promise to return from Clark. Thank you! Virginia - Yes, apparently my Clark is sneaking out nights to hang out with yours. And you're shattering my image of you as the woman with the plan! All this time, I've been envious of your ability to be so prolific, and now you're telling me it's a ruse?!? Say it isn't so!  Thanks again to everyone for the comments. I'm all happy and giddy going into the new year!
Lois: You know, I have a funny feeling that you didn't tell me your biggest secret.
Clark: Well, just to put your little mind at ease, Lois, you're right.
Ides of Metropolis
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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I've been in lurk mode recently, so my comments are a bit late, but I enjoyed the story and I'm looking forward to the epilogue.
"Who's asking? Clark... or Superman?"
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Virginia - Yes, apparently my Clark is sneaking out nights to hang out with yours. And you're shattering my image of you as the woman with the plan! All this time, I've been envious of your ability to be so prolific, and now you're telling me it's a ruse?!? Say it isn't so! I'm currently working on two stories (if you can call Wrong Clark a "story"). Wrong Clark is outlined (at least the major stuff, not the transitional stuff). Where I've been having difficulty is my not-outlined short story. I guess, that's why I get for writing a story, because I came up with a really cool title and needed a story to go with it. I think I worked at most of the kinks. (This is the third ending I've written for it and the first two flopped with betas, so cross your fingers for this entirely original and probably more steamier ending due to reading too much Sue and Groobie stories lately. Still Gfic though. ) So only the long stuff is planned. It's the short stuff I have difficulty with. Being concise isn't in my DNA, so I have to stretch my muscles in that medium every once in a while so they don't atrophy. This short story has been languishing on my hard drive longer than any other short (3 or less parts) story has. As long as I stay active on Wrong Clark, I can still call it a WIP and not a quagmire. Speaking of which, I better get back to working on Part... Um... Part... Golly gee where did I leave off? 202, I think. Betas are waiting for the next part. I now return from this aside and return you to your regularly scheduled FDK.  From Dictionary.com: STORY
noun, plural stories.
1. a narrative, either true or fictitious, in prose or verse, designed to interest, amuse, or instruct the hearer or reader; tale.
2. a fictitious tale, shorter and less elaborate than a novel. ... er... um...  ... perhaps Wrong Clark doesn't quite fit that description.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Sorry Sue! Its been one of those days. And now without further ado: Lois looked over at Clark's desk. She'd been doing that all morning, unable to bear the thought that her best friend might never sit there again. She couldn't stop thinking about their kiss and how it had felt to hear the words "I love you" coming from his lips. And she couldn't stop thinking about the other three words he had said that would haunt her forever.
"Lois, I'm scared." Angst ridden? Absolutely!  Romantic? You betcha!  By the time Lois reached EPRAD, the place was a zoo. There was no parking within half a mile of the building. News vans were parked two, and sometimes three, deep next to the curb directly in front of the building. Linda Montoya from Channel 7 recognized her and sidled up next to Lois with her film crew in tow.
"That was quite the exclusive, Lois." Linda said cheerfully. "However did you get it?"
"Hard work and good timing." Lois kept walking, a task made more difficult by all the people milling around in front of the doors to EPRAD.
"Oh, come on. Everyone knows Superman has something of a soft spot for you."
"Please," Lois said sarcastically. "This time he came to Clark first." This is what I would imagine EPRAD being like before the launch. A Zoo! TV news reporter Linda Montoya has rarely been used as a character in fanfic, thanks for being her in. The doors opened to a hallway that was also crowded with people. Most of them were in uniform, and the noise level was a lot more subdued. Her heart was in her throat as Lois stepped out to join them. Where was Clark? Was he here? Was he nearby? She scanned the faces rushing past her, looking for her partner. Then she chided herself. If Clark was here, he was here as Superman. Superman would stand out no matter where he was, but especially amidst a sea of olive drab. Alas, Superman was most definitely nowhere to be seen. Great set up! My palms are getting sweaty!  What would she do, if their places were reversed? She liked to think that she could be as brave as he was. If it truly was a case of being dead either way, it certainly seemed worth the risk. Worth the risk, though, didn't translate to being any easier to do. Did it comfort him at all to know that his death would be a noble sacrifice? It was terribly unfair that Superman would be lauded for generations to come, while Clark Kent would fade into obscurity, mourned only by the handful of people who knew the truth. Oh yes Lois, worth the risk of him dashing off into space. Much better than your earlier risky decision to date Lex Luthor! Sue, I have to read that story again!  "Clark--" Her throat closed off, making it impossible to say anything else. Full of desperation, she grabbed his left wrist with both her hands. "I'm sorry," she whispered and cleared her throat. It was still a dry rasp as she continued, "You are my best friend. I'm so sorry that I hurt you." So painful, but words that needed to be spoken. Her knees gave out, and Lois slumped into the closest chair. She was too paralyzed by grief even to cry. Instead she stared out the window at the majestic view of Metropolis in mute disbelief as she struggled to accept that he was gone. Clark was forever out of her reach now. Today he would save her life one last time -- and then she'd have to live out the rest of it without him. There's much pain and sadness in this scene, but there's also hope as well. Clark should have told her who he was before leaving on what should have been a suicide mission, but thankfully was not. Whew! Please polish and post! 
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,367 |
Is it the weekend yet? This has been a heckuva week for me, workwise. My brain is shot. But, oh!, how wonderful to stop in and find more lovely comments on this story. Loisette - Thanks for delurking to comment! You weren't late at all; you couldn't have commented at a better time. Virginia - I love that you're writing a story based on the title! I can never think of a good title, so now I've found yet another thing to envy about you. This is the third ending I've written for it and the first two flopped with betas, so cross your fingers for this entirely original and probably more steamier ending due to reading too much Sue and Groobie stories lately. Oh? Steamy, you say? Thank goodness for betas who save us from ourselves, eh? I find it fascinating that, as often as we seem to be plotting along the same lines, we're polar opposites on what length of story we feel comfortable writing. I get discouraged once I realize a story is going to be more than five or six parts. I can plot it out, but then it streeeeeeetches out in front of me like a prison sentence. I know I've told you this before, but I am seriously in awe of your ability to set those plates spinning and then keep them in the air for so long. As long as I stay active on Wrong Clark, I can still call it a WIP and not a quagmire. LOL - I feel you! I was so bogged down in one story that I switched to another, just to clear my head. I'm now about eight chapters away from being done. It doesn't feel like a punishment anymore (mostly because I'm really psyched for where the story goes). I love it when there's light at the end of that tunnel. Morgana - No worries! The important thing is that you're here now. I'm glad I managed to hit those angsty and romantic notes for you. This is what I would imagine EPRAD being like before the launch. A Zoo! There was more originally - I had her having to park far away and having to hike in, but I cut it to improve the story flow. I used Linda Montoya because she was the only newscaster name I could think of at the time. Oh yes Lois, worth the risk of him dashing off into space. Much better than your earlier risky decision to date Lex Luthor!
Sue, I have to read that story again! It's a good thing you sent that PM, because I was puzzling over which story you meant. I was wracking my brain trying to remember when I wrote a story with Lois dating Lex. LOL! It wasn't actually a plug for "Worth the Risk," but I can see why you'd think it was. My thanks to everyone for the comments, and for the nudges to work on the epilogue. Unfortunately, I won't be around much this weekend, but I plan to crack the whip on myself starting Monday.
Lois: You know, I have a funny feeling that you didn't tell me your biggest secret.
Clark: Well, just to put your little mind at ease, Lois, you're right.
Ides of Metropolis
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Kerth
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Kerth
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(This is the third ending I've written for it and the first two flopped with betas, so cross your fingers for this entirely original and probably more steamier ending due to reading too much Sue and Groobie stories lately. Still Gfic though. wink )  Get on with your bad self! I'm happy to stoke your muse in any way possible. Susan, who reminds you that steam comes from the shower, where there's always room for two
You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie.
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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You definitely succeeded! . I absolutely loved what you accomplished in this story. A private goodbye...Clark's vulneralbility about the situation...feelings 'out there' between them. I really enjoyed it! Lois looked over at Clark's desk. She'd been doing that all morning, unable to bear the thought that her best friend might never sit there again. She couldn't stop thinking about their kiss and how it had felt to hear the words "I love you" coming from his lips. And she couldn't stop thinking about the other three words he had said that would haunt her forever.
"Lois, I'm scared." Having Lois truly know what is at stake as the countdown is going on added a lot. Putting 'Clark' into what is happening--Superman, but really deep down Clark for Lois to deal with. I loved that! "Hi," she rasped as her mouth went dry. Her hands began to shake. She clenched them into fists to steady herself. The details about her hands. Additions like that really help the reader to put themselves into where the characters are at the moment. Great "They told me that a dark-haired woman came to see me at two o'clock this morning. Corporal Oliver said she was, and I'm quoting here, 'rather aggressive.' I figured it had to have been you."
"I wasn't being aggressive. I just kinda lied and said that you'd asked me to meet you here."
The corner of his mouth twitched, but she couldn't tell if he was amused or annoyed. A favorite part. The wordage 'and I'm quoting here'--something about those few words I LOVED! It sounded so much like Clark, I guess, is why I liked it so much. And this part really walked that line that you walk so well with your characterization...you have them tease each other--and sometimes just a little bit like here--at just the perfect time. It keeps it so real between them. This part--it was GREAT! He made a choked sputter and shook his head. "After I'm gone, it won't matter. You can tell." You really played Clark well during this scene...he's normally so up-beat, and reality is definitely staring him in the face here. Having him concerned to this extent definitely takes everything up a notch... "It's not a lie," she said in a fierce whisper. "It's a promise. A promise is only a lie if you don't intend to keep it. Don't argue semantics with me, Clark. Just promise me you'll come back."
"You think I'm going to argue semantics with you?" Clark pulled away slightly and gave her a weak smile. "Talk about a suicide mission."
It came out a little blubbery, but he had made her laugh. "It's about time you admitted that I'm always right."
His smile widened a little as he shook his head. "Not always. Just most of the time." Oh-my-goodness! I absolutely adored this part, too. This is so much what I love about your writing, Sue. You weave 'them' so thoroughly into your stories. Teasing amongst the angst. Great combination...and leads to gems like 'It came out a little blubbery, but he had made her laugh." "Wait!" Lois threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. For a moment, his lips were still against hers. And then he was kissing her back. There was nothing guarded in his response as his mouth opened to kiss her deeply. One of his hands buried itself in her hair, supporting the back of her head in his palm. His other arm wrapped low across her back, bringing her body into full contact with his. Lois twined her arms around his neck and shoulders. Their kiss was full of desperation and love and regret. It was everything she wanted to say, but couldn't find the words to express. With her eyes closed, it felt like she was wheeling and dizzy in the darkness. Clark became the only constant as the world shifted around her.
Out in the hallway, someone continued to knock on the door again and again, calling out with increasing desperation for Superman. Lois heard the rattle of the doorknob, but the door stayed firmly closed. She realized that Clark must have locked it when he came in and she kissed him harder in gratitude.
The kiss broke, leaving them both breathless but still clinging to each other.
"I love you," Clark whispered, and the stir of his breath on her lips was like a caress. He kissed her again, soft and lingering. She felt his lips curve into a smile as the pounding on the door felt silent.
"Then promise me," she begged quietly. "Promise me."
He cupped her cheek, looking directly into her eyes. "I'll be back. We'll go flying. I promise." Thank you for the locked door . And that amazing kiss between them. WAFFy, full of all the angst of what is to come. Loved it, Sue. Amazing! Laura
"Where's Clark?" "Right here."
...two simple sentences--with so much meaning.
~Lois and Clark in 'House of Luthor'~
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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I usually don't care as much for the season 1 episodes, or stories based upon them; season 2 is when I began watching the show and when all the good stuff happened, IMHO. Those episodes were so Superman-heavy and while I love Clark, I just tolerate Superman. How Mayson Drake-ish of me.
This was a great story, though. Stories with full disclosure and WAFF galore are right up my alley. You always manage to make Lois a beautiful balance of spunky, flawed and lovable, a testament to your stellar writing skills. Thanks for this piece. Looking forward to the epilogue.
Clark: "Lois, you know, I really hope someday that you learn, that sometimes what it seems like people are doing isn't what they're really doing."
Lois: "What are you, a fortune cookie?"
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,367 |
Sorry for the delay in replying! Life has been hectic lately.  Laura - Thank you! I'm pleased you think I succeeded! Having Lois truly know what is at stake as the countdown is going on added a lot. Putting 'Clark' into what is happening--Superman, but really deep down Clark for Lois to deal with. I loved that! Thanks! It definitely raises the emotional stakes when Lois knows exactly what she stands to lose. A favorite part. The wordage 'and I'm quoting here'--something about those few words I LOVED! It sounded so much like Clark, I guess, is why I liked it so much. And this part really walked that line that you walk so well with your characterization...you have them tease each other--and sometimes just a little bit like here--at just the perfect time. It keeps it so real between them. This part--it was GREAT! Again, thank you! You really played Clark well during this scene...he's normally so up-beat, and reality is definitely staring him in the face here. Having him concerned to this extent definitely takes everything up a notch... Thanks! He never would have told her if he thought it was going to turn out okay. I think he's allowed a little despair, especially since Lois is now in a better place to be supportive. Oh-my-goodness! I absolutely adored this part, too. This is so much what I love about your writing, Sue. You weave 'them' so thoroughly into your stories. Teasing amongst the angst. Great combination...and leads to gems like 'It came out a little blubbery, but he had made her laugh." Oh, you'll turn my head with your compliments! (But please don't stop!) Being able to laugh through the tears (or vice versa) is the hallmark of any good friendship, which is why I quite often have them deal with the angsty stuff that way. Thank you for the locked door You're welcome! Can you imagine what the poor lackey on the other side must be thinking? <heh> magical - Some of the season one stuff (like Smart Kids) I could happily live the rest of my life without ever seeing again. But some of the others (Strange Visitor, PML, HiM, Witness, FlyHard) feel so perfect -- the banter between them, the chemistry… <sigh> It's what sucked me into the show in the first place. I'm glad you took a risk and read the story anyway. while I love Clark, I just tolerate Superman. How Mayson Drake-ish of me. LOL! I'm a Mayson sympathizer, so you won't have any trouble with me. Thank you to everyone who's replied! I'm really very, very grateful!
Lois: You know, I have a funny feeling that you didn't tell me your biggest secret.
Clark: Well, just to put your little mind at ease, Lois, you're right.
Ides of Metropolis
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Loved this, as always with your stories. Epilogue?
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