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Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
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Little changes so far ... what do you think? TOC
KatherineKent/Victoria Lois: "You put up with me for the same reason I put up with you. It's because I'm completely in love with you." Clark: "And I love you ... Did we just make up?" Lois: "I think so."
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Delightful! I especially like the role reversals of Lois & Perry via-a-vis her teaming up with someone.
Is it next Sunday yet?
Joy, Lynn
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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I love it! One of the first things that came to mind was KK the anti - Terry Leatherwood... The way you write relationships is so different than the way Terry does. Like Lynn said "Is it next Sunday yet?"
Lois is dancing on a tightrope right now. I can't wait to see how she reacts to seeing him in the Superman outfit for the first time. Of course we are not really sure exactly what and how much detail she got from the quicky mind meld she had with Lane but I suspect the costume will be a revelation.
Mike
Create all the happiness you are able to create. Remove all the misery you are able to remove.
Jeremy Bentham
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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I, too, liked the switch in dialogue between Lois and Perry. I knew he was testing her in his tongue-in-cheek manner. Brilliant! She hadn't managed a single word when they'd been introduced yesterday, and she hadn't actually spoken to him earlier, when his work was being read out.
"Hi, Clark," she smiled.
"Hi," he returned and placed down the papers.
"So, Perry's assigned you to help me." She made it seem like she was begrudgingly taking him as partner, terrified he'd figure out how she felt, otherwise - how she was desperate for some time with him.
"Really?" his eyes lit up.
Her heart skipped a beat and she panicked, automatically going into defensive mode and practicing misdirection. "So, let's hit it." She turned and walked away. Awwww. I love this! Especially how Clark's eyes lit up. Is he excited because "it's her!" or because of her professional reputation, or a bit of both? She needed some way to get in control. He was going to hear her rapidly beating heart soon. Perhaps he already had! Does she recall that he can hear really well? How much of Clark's other talents does she know about? "You like to be on top. Got it."
Her mouth dropped open, in shock. Had she really just given him that horrible attitude. He'd never fall in love with her if she behaved in that manner. And he'd turned her attitude into a joke with his reply. This was a disaster.
He entered the elevator and stood off to the side.
"I … I'm sorry Clark. I'm not used to working with a partner," she stuttered. She didn't elaborate because it would have meant explaining that she'd rejected every previous partner because … because they weren't him. She turned and looked up at him, smiling shyly.
His stunned look reminded her of the unusual situation she was in, and she whipped her head back to look at the closing elevator doors. A tear squeezed out of the corner of her eyes and she held herself stiffly to keep from shaking.
"Lois …" he spoke tentatively. "I've never worked with a partner before, either." His voice was soft. "We'll work it out together. Okay?" He sounded hopeful.
"Together," she whispered. A memory of how 'together' they would be struck her and she recalled his sarcastic retort to her rant. 'You like to be on top.' Her heart rate accelerated when she began imagining being 'on top' at the same time as being 'together'. Okay, I'm feeling like I'm quoting the whole part now. I loved this snippet as well. Her change in attitude, her worrying about losing him before she caught him. Now, I am worried that she might lose him by being too nice. By not being herself around him. Or IS she being her true self around him and not the Mad Dog Lane self that she shows everyone else? Is she being herself with him sooner rather than later? Will have to read more to find out. Again, all three were smiling. Lois reached out and picked up the photograph.
Family.
She immediately had the overwhelming feeling of family, love, commitment, reliability, responsibility.
Ten years ago these things, these feelings, would have meant something completely different to her. Her parent's marriage had been full of arguments, resentment, selfishness and blame. But she lived with the memories of a different marriage now. A marriage that was good, pure, giving, supportive. I love how her memories of Clark and his love have influenced her as a reporter. She now sees things she didn't see before. Lois could suddenly feel Clark's presence behind her, even though he was still at the other side of the room. She was overwhelmed by a longing to experience her own family. Now that Clark was here that longing had changed into an impatient desire, rather than a wistful waiting. Awwww. Yes, Lois, don't scare him off. Too short. More please!
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Kerth
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Kerth
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Yea! Another part! She was suddenly overwhelmed by his presence, directly behind her. He was so large, so strong, so handsome. She whirled away, gulping and hyperventilating. She needed some way to get in control. He was going to hear her rapidly beating heart soon. Perhaps he already had! She's NEVER going to last for long! He's already so adorable, and she's already worried that her pretended attitude is going to chase him off...no, this game is not going to last two years! She'd worked her buns off specifically so that she'd be here, at the Daily Planet, just to meet him. Awww! That's sweet. Ten years ago these things, these feelings, would have meant something completely different to her. Her parent's marriage had been full of arguments, resentment, selfishness and blame. But she lived with the memories of a different marriage now. A marriage that was good, pure, giving, supportive. Awww! That's even sweeter! This Lois isn't as worried about the potential for a romantic relationship because she knows she's destined to be in a great one. It's interesting to see how that perception has changed the way she interprets the actions of other people, too. Looking forward to the next part.
You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie.
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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I enjoyed the little changes from the pilot. This is a fun story and I can't wait to read the next part.
"Who's asking? Clark... or Superman?"
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Awww--I am really loving this, KK! I'd quote again pretty much exactly what's been quoted already, but I think it maybe gets my point across better to do this: There are so many amazingly subtle--but likewise huge--changes here in the Pilot since Lois is going into this with trust, respect, and love for Clark. And I'm enjoying every single sentence of it . I really love how 'aware' Lois is--of everything regarding Clark. And I'm very curious to see how he'll react...because even though Lois is going to try to act 'normal' around him, I just can not see it happening. She's completely present to how amazing Clark is--what all of us adore about him --and going into their work partnership loving him already. Knowing Clark, and just how much he loves Lois--and right from the start--I'm guessing he'll notice at least some of this (her feelings), and therefore have to react at least somewhat differently from canon. And what I'm meaning (guessing) by this is that the partnership, then friendship, then best-friendship, then romance might potentially move that much quicker? Bottom line--can't help but think that we are going to have two people who are head over heals in l-o-v-e much sooner than later. Settling in to wait another long week till we get Part 3--Can't wait! Laura
Last edited by LMA; 02/09/15 12:05 AM.
"Where's Clark?" "Right here."
...two simple sentences--with so much meaning.
~Lois and Clark in 'House of Luthor'~
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Whew! So many twists and turns from canon that I'm getting whiplash! In a good way!
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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Features Writer
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Features Writer
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Adding my voice to say what a wonderful, beautiful and FUN story. I love the premise that Lois already is in love with Clark. And looking forward to seeing how Lois knowing she's in love with Clark before he recognizes he's in love with her changes things. If I start quoting dialogue, the whole chapter is likely to end up being quoted. I did also love the Perry and Lois dialogue switch. Looking forward to seeing where you take this!
Cuidadora
"Honey, we didn't care if you were a Russian or a Martian... You were ours... and we weren't giving you to anybody." ~ Martha in Strange Visitor
"A love that risks nothing is worth nothing." ~ Jonathan in Big Girls Don't Fly
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Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
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Delightful! I especially like the role reversals of Lois & Perry via-a-vis her teaming up with someone.
Is it next Sunday yet?
Joy, Lynn Thanks, I thought it would be funny to swap the dialogue. Sorry, it's not Sunday yet. I love it! One of the first things that came to mind was KK the anti - Terry Leatherwood... The way you write relationships is so different than the way Terry does. Is this supposed to be a compliment, because Terry is a fantastic writer, deep, intense, thoughtful. And I'm the opposite of that am I? Like Lynn said "Is it next Sunday yet?" Nope, sorry. Lois is dancing on a tightrope right now. I can't wait to see how she reacts to seeing him in the Superman outfit for the first time. LOL. I bet most people are waiting for this. Of course we are not really sure exactly what and how much detail she got from the quicky mind meld she had with Lane but I suspect the costume will be a revelation.
Mike You'll start to see exactly how much she knows/remembers/has figured out for herself, over the next few chapters. I, too, liked the switch in dialogue between Lois and Perry. I knew he was testing her in his tongue-in-cheek manner. Brilliant! Thanks, I think that scene went down really well. Awwww. I love this! Especially how Clark's eyes lit up. Is he excited because "it's her!" or because of her professional reputation, or a bit of both? Why do you think!!!!! Does she recall that he can hear really well? How much of Clark's other talents does she know about? Answers to how much she knows, or kind of remembers, or thinks she knows, is coming over the next few chapters. Okay, I'm feeling like I'm quoting the whole part now. I loved this snippet as well. Her change in attitude, her worrying about losing him before she caught him. Now, I am worried that she might lose him by being too nice. By not being herself around him. Or IS she being her true self around him and not the Mad Dog Lane self that she shows everyone else? Is she being herself with him sooner rather than later? Will have to read more to find out. Lois is going to go through the exact same worries about her behaviour - and will eventually come to a decision about how to behave by the end of the story. I love how her memories of Clark and his love have influenced her as a reporter. She now sees things she didn't see before. Her life/thoughts/beliefs are all very different because of the memories she got in Vision. Awwww. Yes, Lois, don't scare him off. I don't think that's actually possible Too short. More please! Sorry, they are quite short chapters Yea! Another part! She was suddenly overwhelmed by his presence, directly behind her. He was so large, so strong, so handsome. She whirled away, gulping and hyperventilating. She needed some way to get in control. He was going to hear her rapidly beating heart soon. Perhaps he already had! She's NEVER going to last for long! He's already so adorable, and she's already worried that her pretended attitude is going to chase him off...no, this game is not going to last two years! You can be assured that it won't take 2 years for them to get together, although it might take ME 2 years to write that much ... but the 'in story' timeframe will be faster. She'd worked her buns off specifically so that she'd be here, at the Daily Planet, just to meet him. Awww! That's sweet. yeah! Ten years ago these things, these feelings, would have meant something completely different to her. Her parent's marriage had been full of arguments, resentment, selfishness and blame. But she lived with the memories of a different marriage now. A marriage that was good, pure, giving, supportive. Awww! That's even sweeter! This Lois isn't as worried about the potential for a romantic relationship because she knows she's destined to be in a great one. It's interesting to see how that perception has changed the way she interprets the actions of other people, too. Looking forward to the next part. Thanks I enjoyed the little changes from the pilot. This is a fun story and I can't wait to read the next part. Well, you'll have to wait till Sunday (or maybe Saturday). Thank you There are so many amazingly subtle--but likewise huge--changes here in the Pilot since Lois is going into this with trust, respect, and love for Clark. And I'm enjoying every single sentence of it . I really love how 'aware' Lois is--of everything regarding Clark. And I'm very curious to see how he'll react...because even though Lois is going to try to act 'normal' around him, I just can not see it happening. Yeah, I guess - word wise, there is not much change in the conversations happening, but under the surface it actually means A LOT has changed. She's completely present to how amazing Clark is--what all of us adore about him --and going into their work partnership loving him already. Knowing Clark, and just how much he loves Lois--and right from the start--I'm guessing he'll notice at least some of this (her feelings), and therefore have to react at least somewhat differently from canon. And what I'm meaning (guessing) by this is that the partnership, then friendship, then best-friendship, then romance might potentially move that much quicker? Bottom line--can't help but think that we are going to have two people who are head over heals in l-o-v-e much sooner than later. Settling in to wait another long week till we get Part 3--Can't wait! Laura Head over heels? Maybe? Whew! So many twists and turns from canon that I'm getting whiplash! In a good way! Adding my voice to say what a wonderful, beautiful and FUN story. I love the premise that Lois already is in love with Clark. And looking forward to seeing how Lois knowing she's in love with Clark before he recognizes he's in love with her changes things. If I start quoting dialogue, the whole chapter is likely to end up being quoted. I did also love the Perry and Lois dialogue switch. Looking forward to seeing where you take this! Thank you.
KatherineKent/Victoria Lois: "You put up with me for the same reason I put up with you. It's because I'm completely in love with you." Clark: "And I love you ... Did we just make up?" Lois: "I think so."
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