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LAST TIME ON EMII:

"Says here," she said unnecessarily, "that Dr Peter Saxon worked at the power plant – wow, he was in charge of the engineering division – until two-and-a-half years ago, when he resigned. Since then, he's pretty much gone to ground, but he appears from time to time, campaigning on some environmental issue or other." She sat up so straight that the back of her head collided with CJ's chin. "Ow!" she exclaimed before continuing, immediately forgetting the pain. "Now I remember where I heard of him before! Perry's been on at me for a couple of weeks to write an article about the fish in Hobbs River and the Bay. I've been doing my best to avoid it – it's not my thing. But Saxon... He's the guy Perry told me to interview."

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CHAPTER TWELVE


It was a pity, CJ thought, as he arrowed his way across the continent, that he hadn't had time to appreciate the sites of British Columbia while he was there. He'd never been before and this visit had been little more than a quick in-and-out.

He and Lois had been going through the material they had on Saxon when his super-hearing had kicked in, tuning into a radio broadcast playing in a neighbouring apartment. He'd heard the news that an oil tanker was sinking off the coast of western Canada, its hull having split in two. Oil was leaking into the sea, and, unless a miracle occurred, an ecological disaster seemed inevitable.

Performing that miracle was a much more ambitious task than any CJ had set himself before, but he knew that Clark did that sort of thing on a fairly regular basis. If Clark could do it, CJ had told himself stoutly, so could he.

So he'd left Lois in his apartment and had headed west. Now, flying back again at a more leisurely pace, he reflected on the job he'd done, and done well. An enormous wave of satisfaction rushed through him as he thought about the way he'd plunged underwater before anyone could catch sight of him, the way he'd swum around in ever tighter circles, pulling the oil towards, and then into, the ship's ruptured tanks. Then he'd welded the tanks closed with his heat vision.

He'd stayed in the area just long enough to be as confident as he could be that the disaster had been averted. Then he'd swum at superspeed through the water, cleaning the last traces of oil from his body and clothes, and making sure that his presence went unnoticed by coastguard boats and helicopters, and vessels chartered by several media companies.

CJ grinned to himself, high on the feeling that he, CJ Kent, had made a difference. It was a heady sensation, not unlike the rush he felt whenever he won a court case, but one hundred times better.

His grin widened at the thought that Lois was waiting for him at home. He could, he thought, get used to Lois being there for him. No wonder, he thought, that Clark loved his Lois so much! He hoped that the parallels between the two worlds were close enough that he, and this Lois, would stay together.

But then a thought crossed CJ's mind, which made him shiver. What if he and Clark were too dissimilar to guarantee him a future with Lois? And he and Clark were different. For one thing, CJ's powers were going to leave him. Then weren't a part of him like Clark's were.

The realisation depressed CJ's mood. He had been feeling so good just now; what if he could never feel that way again? What if Lois wouldn't have him?

*****

CJ landed lightly on his balcony. Then, still in a rather pensive mood, he walked through the door that led to his bedroom and on to the living room beyond.

Lois stood up as he came in, greeting him with a smile that warmed him. The warmth in her eyes and the welcome in her expression chased away some of his doubts. Maybe their relationship wouldn’t last long-term, but they were together here and now, and that was cause for hope.

Hope...

After believing for so long that hope didn't apply to him, it was dangling tantalisingly close, almost within CJ's grasp. But before he could decide whether he had courage enough to reach out and touch it, Lois pushed the question away by asking, "How did it go?"

"Good." Then more firmly, with conviction, he said, "It was very good. In fact..." He trailed off uncertainly.

"In fact... what?" asked Lois, frowning slightly. "If it was as great as you say, then what's wrong?"

CJ sighed. "It's nothing really. Just... I got to thinking, and..."

"Always dangerous, thinking," quipped Lois. Then, more seriously, she said, "Come on, CJ. You can tell me."

He nodded jerkily. She was right. He'd told her far more momentous things than this, and yet somehow this seemed more personal. What he was about to say had less to do with what he was than with who he was inside, and the thought of exposing himself in so personal a way was... not terrifying, precisely, because he could not be terrified of sharing anything with Lois, who seemed to take everything in her stride. But it was, he decided, somewhat unsettling. Disconcerting.

He began to talk without planning out what he wanted to say, and yet the words flowed surprisingly easily. He found them following a path of their own choosing, and he was rather surprised to realise that he was talking about Elyse again. It wasn't quite what he'd wanted to talk about, but it was a good place to begin.

"You know, I finally understand something that I didn't understand before."

"What?"

"I think I finally understand why Elyse was so desperate to go to Prometheus. I thought that she was being so unrealistic. She was living in a fantasy land, wanting to walk again when realistically she knew that there was no chance of it happening..." He glanced down at his hands. "These last few days. They've been amazing. I've been able to do things I've only ever dreamed of and the thought of losing all that..." He sighed. "I'd do anything not to have to give up the flying, and I know when it's gone I'll be just how I always was, but there'll be something missing, you know? And I would do anything – and I mean anything – to be able to get it back again. And when I think of Elyse... She had lost something precious, something that had been a part of her. Me? I'm only losing something that was given to me for a brief time. If I feel that bad... So, yeah. I think I can understand at least a little of why she felt she had to go."

Lois smiled a very sad smile. "I wish I could understand that, too."

"I could..." said CJ hesitantly. "I mean... If you wanted, and you thought you could trust me... I'd like to show you."

"Show me?"

"How it feels to be liberated. How it feels to do something you think you'll never be able to do again. I want to show you why I'd do anything not to lose the joy of being freed from the ties of gravity." Then, with a faint chuckle he said, "I don't think you really got a chance to appreciate the flying before."

"No, I didn't," she agreed. "Could you? I mean, would you show me?"

Clark nodded.

"And you wouldn't mind?"

"No. In fact, I rather think it'd be my pleasure."

They both stood, feeling self-conscious and shy. CJ held out his arms, inviting Lois into his embrace. He lifted her up, cradling her into his chest and then he levitated.

*****

They'd hugged before, and they'd cuddled up on the sofa. They'd even kissed. But nothing had prepared Lois for the intimacy of the flight. CJ was carrying her in his arms like a child, as though she was the most precious thing in the world. Her face was next to his as they rose into the sky.

"Where do you want to go?" he asked.

Lois wasn't prepared for that question. She thought for a moment, then decided that she didn't want to go anywhere particular; as far as she was concerned, it was the journey that mattered, not their destination.

Floating high above the earth, Lois felt safe in a way she couldn't articulate, because there was no way that she should be able to feel safe in the arms of a man who was defying the very laws of nature.

Air brushed her face, blowing her hair. But it wasn't the harsh blast of a gale-force wind, which she thought it should have been, given the speed at which the ground was passing by beneath them. Rather, it was more like a light summer breeze caressing her skin. She watched as they passed over Metropolis, and she gasped as she recognised famous landmarks below: Centennial Park, the Daily Planet Globe, City Hall, a couple of museums, Lex Tower...

Thank goodness, she thought, that she was wearing loafers rather than pumps! She'd hate for a shoe to slip off and brain some poor, unsuspecting pedestrian on the ground. Then she found herself grinning and laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of the thought and the exhilaration of the ride. She turned her head to look at CJ's face to find that his eyes were shining with delight and he was also grinning.

CJ climbed higher, carrying her through wisps of cold, wet cloud. Then they were flying into the open sky, and she saw that dusk was falling. The sinking sun in the western horizon painted the sky above and the clouds below with a dazzling array of pinks and lilacs and tinged their skin a rich orange. The sky directly above them segued from light blue to a dark, almost black shade in the east. But, most striking of all, were the myriad points of star light, each one more vivid than any she'd ever seen before.

CJ slowed, then came to a halt, just letting them float. Lois didn't think that she'd ever been anywhere so calm, so absolutely silent.

"It's beautiful," she breathed.

"It is, isn't it?" His words were as quiet as her own and he spoke with a reverence she had never heard outside of the few church services she'd attended. She could understand that; there was something about being up here that inspired awe, and if anything was going to make her believe in God it would be being up here, seeing heaven stretched out above her in all its glory. "There's something so... peaceful up here," he said. "And everything is so big that it makes our problems seem..."

"Insignificant?" ventured Lois.

"Not quite," he answered, his mouth quirking into a wry smile. "I was going to stay that it makes our problems seem manageable. It helps put things into perspective, somehow."

Lois nodded. She could understand what he meant, but she knew that once back on the ground, the tasks they'd set themselves would seem as difficult as ever. She feared that there was a real risk of any perspective they gained up here being lost. Problems, Lois thought, didn't go away. All that coming out here did was give them a chance to put them aside for a little while.

And yet... for the moment it felt so good to be untouched by the strife on the world below. She hoped that she'd be able to cling on to the memory for days, months, even years after they returned.

Lois sighed softly.

"What is it?" asked CJ, immediately concerned.

"Nothing important," said Lois. "I was just thinking." She looked at him so that he could see, and be reassured by, the soft smile that was playing around her lips.

"Good thoughts I hope?"

"Very," she whispered. "I was thinking that I want to remember this for ever. This is a once in a lifetime experience; I don't ever want to forget how this looks. How it feels." Her smile widened and she shifted in his arms so that she could kiss his cheek. "Thank you for bringing me up here."

"You're very welcome," he answered.

They didn't speak for a while, content to watch the sun sink below the horizon. The sky darkened and more stars came out.

It was only when the last of the sun's rays had disappeared from view and the celestial dome above them was painted in shades of midnight blue, dotted with glittering points of light that Lois spoke again.

The atmosphere between them was easy up here, and there was no chance of being disturbed. Plus, after all the doubts he'd shared with her, she thought it only fair that she share one of her own with him. She wanted to do so, not as some sort of vindictive tit-for-tat, but rather because his honesty and sharing demanded to be matched by her own. As yet, she thought he'd given more to their nascent relationship than she had done, and she wanted to redress that balance.

The question was how best to begin.

"Do you," she asked tentatively, "think that the other Lois and Clark come out here, too?"

"I don't know," answered CJ quietly. "But I can't help thinking that they'd be mad not to."

It took Lois a few seconds to try to find the right words for what she wanted to ask next. "So," she said eventually, "you didn't bring me up here because you thought you had to?"

"Of course not!" CJ's confusion was evident. "Why would I think that?" Lois felt CJ's arms tighten around her in surprise.

"Because..." Lois paused again, then she said, "When you told me about Lois and Clark and how they were married... It made me wonder whether we would end up being together, and if we did, whether it would be because we were being forced together or because we chose to be." Her voice dropped in pitch as she said miserably, "I don't want to be with you because of some sort of divine coercion." She fell silent, hoping that CJ would make the next move.

"I... I don't know what to say, Lois. I mean, I saw how they were together, and I want that for myself. They were *happy*, happier than I think I've ever been, you know? And, okay, I confess, when I came back to this world, maybe that made it easier for me to see you. The real, you, I mean." He paused, then continued, even more softly than before. "I confess, before I went to the other world, I didn't like you very much but, Lois, even then I'd... noticed... you. I mean, I'd noticed that I was attracted to you, but I thought... I thought the attraction was all one sided." He took a steadying breath and continued. "Now, though... Tell me, was I wrong to think that?"

Lois heard the quiet need for reassurance in his voice and she knew that there was only one answer that she could give. "Yes, you were wrong. I felt it too." She ducked her head, unable to look at him as she made so personal a confession but, for some reason, she didn't need to see him to feel the joy he felt at that revelation.

Her admission seemed to have given him courage. Thoughtfully, he said, "I don't think we could be together if we didn't want to be, Lois. But..." He cut off the thought before it took form.

"But?" she prompted, wanting to know what he was too scared to say, because, somehow, she knew that he was scared. She could feel it.

Slowly, hesitantly, he said, "I've been wondering whether I'm too different from Clark for us to be together, and I... I want us to be together. And if the only way for that to happen is for the worlds to be identical in this one respect, then..."

"Then?" prompted Lois again.

"Then I really don't care if it's destiny, coercion or fate that brings us together, rather than our own free will. Just so long as we're happy."

Lois said nothing for a couple of seconds then she chuckled. "We're quite a pair, CJ. You've been hoping that the worlds are similar, and I've been hoping that they're different, because I want to be in control of my own life. But, when you get down to it, we actually want the same thing, which is to be together."

"You do want that, Lois?" asked CJ in wonder. "You're sure?"

"Of course I'm sure! I don't go around kissing just anybody, you know. That should tell you something about the way I feel about you!"

"Yes," he answered. Then, contritely, he whispered, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," said Lois, more out of politeness than anything else. but once she'd said it, she realised she meant it wholeheartedly. CJ, she was discovering, was in many ways even more insecure than she was. She supposed that was understandable, in a way. After all, none of her past "federal disasters" had died.

"You know," he said thoughtfully, "so far we've found so many more differences between the two worlds than we've found similarities that I don't think we can guarantee our future together, no matter what Mr Wells said."

"And what did Mr Wells say?"

"Not a lot, really. Only that I was to save your life, marry you, and found Utopia."

"Oh, is that all!"

"Would you... I mean... Do you mind knowing that?"

"Not as much as I thought I would. The more time I spend with you, the less I care about why."

"Me, too," whispered CJ huskily. Then he was adjusting his hold on Lois so that his arms were wrapped around her waist. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, and they floated together, their bodies touching torso to torso, their lips touching, their tongues exploring...

Lois knew that soon they would have to recommence their campaign against Luthor and the machinery of his evil. But that was for tomorrow. Tonight was theirs.

TBC