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Wrong Place, Wrong Time, Wrong Clark TOC can be found HereI know I should probably apologize for once again brushing aside the A-plot to concentrate on the B-Plot (i.e. romance), but I'm not sorry one bit. So, is Clark a glutton for punishment or what? Comments go here to feed my voracious muse.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Here we go again! “We should go away this weekend,” Lois said, several nights later as she and Clark walked hand-in-hand towards her apartment after filing their latest story. Awww…she wants him to take her on a beach. CLARK: ‘on’? That’s not grammatically correct. LOIS: It’s not? “I’m on call this weekend,” Clark replied with a frown. Isn’t he always on call? “Do you really hate your birthday that much that you block it out every year?” Nobody ever buys her chocolates for her birthday? not wanting to focus on her mistake from last year when she hadn’t realized that the reason Clark had asked her out was for her birthday. She thought he wanted to take her on a beach and he wanted to take her to dinner? “For the hundredth time, Superman was standing less than twenty feet away. Are you saying that he can fly around the world in seconds flat, but he couldn’t break the sound barrier across a room if I was in danger?” Yes. The Flash needs about 5 miles of straight track to get up to the speed of sound. And that guy can deliver a warm pizza in 30 minutes or less from the other side of the continent. “My heart almost exploded in panic when you knocked the gun from Stoke’s hand after karate chopping him in the crotch.” So: LOIS: CLARK: “Because if I were to ever fail…” He’d have to start over in another universe, *again*? “Lois, we don’t know what my heart is capable of doing under intense Mad Dog scare tactics,” he whispered. So, all Lex would have had to do was kill Lois and make Superman watch, or well, send her body to him, to make the dense Kryptonian go away? LEX: She rolled her eyes. “Okay. I’ll stop taunting super villains with guns.” Regular idiots with guns, on the other hand… “Soooooo,” Lois said, deciding to change the topic before Clark realized her promise came with a disclaimer. She’s quite deceitful. I’m not sure she’s a fit wife for a superhero. LANA: I’ll say. He dumped *me*! And I’m a blonde. She remembered distinctly their passionate pasta night from the previous summer. Was he hinting at a re-enactment, a full one with a different ending? “Oh?” This time, he’d bring her to her apartment, check under the bed, and then kiss her good night on the cheek before leaving? He smiled at her as if he had won.
Jerk. . She was about to rebut his theory that a Batman lurking in the shadows could hold a candle to her sunshine loving Superman, when Clark continued… well, kind of. : I’ve now gotten this great new candles. See the lovely green glow? “A thousand?” she asked skeptically.
“Okay. Fine. A million. Satisfied?”
“And I thought you were exaggerating before,” Lois murmured to herself. Confidence issues? LOIS: It’s been three hours since my last chocolate bar, okay? Maybe she wouldn’t have to worry about every word she muttered as she had with Luthor, after all. Being with Clark wasn’t like losing her privacy, but like letting someone in. “Chuck, sometimes, you can be so male.” Yea, all she’d have to do is turn on sports, or walk around naked, and he’d not hear a thing she’s saying. LOIS: I’ll be out, checking out that new Intergang headquarter in the new Costmart. “Those irrational beings are only interested in cars, sports, money, and sex, and not in that order.” See? Clark’s not planning on having sex with her. He doesn’t need a car. Money means nothing to him. And sports, well, he mainly goes for some obscure team from the heartland. “I was being nice,” she argued.
“You stuck a knife in my masculinity,” he refuted. Oooooooohhhhh “Chuck, your masculinity isn’t up for debate,” she said, and lowered her voice. Actually, there’s a lot of debate going on, all the time. “Besides, that knife would end up bent out of shape if I tried. No one is more male than you.” Lois gave her head a slight shake. For being the Man of Steel, he sure was a big ol’ marshmallow. “You’re good at fishing, aren’t you?” Compliments? Lois halted in the middle of the sidewalk and held up her hand. “Hold it, right there. I make one semi-sports metaphor and you’re suddenly turning me into a pioneer woman. Could you be more male?” /points at Kathy B’s Camping With Clark/ Umm…I think some chocolate dripped off the s’more there. but he’s toasty hot and ready to be dipped in chocolate until he was begging for s’more. Her eyes widened and she had to look away from him so he couldn’t guess her thoughts. That she wants to stuff herself full of s’mores? “Oh, look. Your building. Do you need me to walk you up?” he asked, his voice increasing speed with each word. He pointed over his shoulder. “I need to…” Dip? Their conversation hadn’t turned him on, but off. Yeah…about that… She was starting to look forward to sharing an air mattress with him in a very plush and fully stocked RV. She’s really roughing it, there, isn’t she? LOIS: What? It won’t even have a fax machine! Also, would a fully stocked RV have an air mattress? I always figured, regular mattress, since it’s built in? That dip into the icy waters near Antarctica had cooled his ardor a bit. It has? Antarctic Expedition Ship: Look out! Some really big iceberg just calved. The combination of thinking about his first time with Rachel and what making love to Lois would be like… He swallowed. Ah, that’s where he went! He’s hoping that Lois is up for a reunion with Rachel. “You can’t. She will die,” he reminded himself. He could put some Kryptonite next to the bed. That way, he might be the one to die after all. causing a jolt of electricity to sizzle into his brain and short circuit it. Oops? “Oh. I just got in. I was about to take a shower,” he said. Feeling dirty? Anything to wash these thoughts from his mind. Lex had sex with a Lois-lookalike right on camera and showed it to you. He later proceeded to brutally murder her. Does that help? “Then why did you fly off?”
“I didn’t…” He had thought he had given a good enough excuse. So much for his subtle exit. Maybe if he had said that he forgot that he had a date with Mayson? “I need you to understand, though, that there are some things in my life, from my past, that I don’t want to get into detail about with you. Just as there are things from your past I don’t want to know in detail.” I’m not sure this is the best way to phrase things. Of course she had. He had just dangled a bit of chocolate-flavored intrigue in front of her. “Private things.”
“What sort of private things?” she retorted with a tinge of Mad Dog to her voice.
“Personal, private things,” he clarified. And he keeps digging. “What kind of personal, private things have you been keeping from me, Clark?” How he would like to win with his girlfriend? She paused before saying softly, “Was it that bad?” She ran off and joined the army afterwards. “No, Lois. It wasn’t bad at all. In fact, it was very, very not bad,” Clark said. Did he just tell her that he has very high expectations for her? That she really had to bring her A-game to make it worth the 1000 bucks he’s shelling out? He sighed, rubbing his forehead. “Not forever, minha. Just not tonight. Not like this.” Aww…he’s keeping it for their wedding night, to make it special! He heard her smack her lips derisively. “Have a nice shower,” she called. “Think of me.” Oh dear! “I was planning on it,” he retorted, wincing when he realized that he said those words aloud. “Come and visit me, and I just might be,” she cooed. ************* One More Talk ************* Right. “On an ordinary day, it’s only once,” he replied.
She leaned back in contemplation. “Oh, one of those ordinary days.” The boring kind. “Would you have said ‘yes’?” Clark asked. ***End of Part 205***
Is Clark a glutton for punishment or what? Michael
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Hi Virginia I loved this chapter! I defer to you as the author as to what is officially the A and B plots, although I confess I think of the romance as the A plot for the entire epic. And I like how you briefly cover the parts of the official A plot that don't change from canon. Clark smiled, looking forward to his dreams for the first time in months. He pulled off his t-shirt and headed for the shower. So sweet! Lois leaned against him, allowing him to slip his arm around her shoulders. Maybe she wouldn’t have to worry about every word she muttered as she had with Luthor, after all. Being with Clark wasn’t like losing her privacy, but like letting someone in. Glad she figured that out! Is Clark a glutton for punishment or what? Probably, but I'm thinking he's more insecure than anything else.
Cuidadora
"Honey, we didn't care if you were a Russian or a Martian... You were ours... and we weren't giving you to anybody." ~ Martha in Strange Visitor
"A love that risks nothing is worth nothing." ~ Jonathan in Big Girls Don't Fly
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cuidadora: Thank you for commenting. Feel free to delurk anytime. Sorry it took me long to respond. I've had a crazy couple of weeks. Hopefully things will slow down in my RL for a while (the couple of weeks before school lets out) and I'll be quicker at responding. I loved this chapter! I defer to you as the author as to what is officially the A and B plots, although I confess I think of the romance as the A plot for the entire epic. And I like how you briefly cover the parts of the official A plot that don't change from canon. Thank you. Officially, the A-Plot is whatever Lois and Clark are investigating, and B-Plot is their relationship. Since Section II was mostly A-Plot (The computer virus, Lois getting arrested, all that crazy stuff with Lex, etc.) I think that's why that section became so long. So, for this next section (the current section) I'll focus a bit more (i.e. 75%) on B-Plot for a while, just to give my characters a break from dangling off roof-tops and such. LOIS: But I like dangling off roof-tops! CLARK: And I like saving her! Clark smiled, looking forward to his dreams for the first time in months. He pulled off his t-shirt and headed for the shower. So sweet! /love/ I'm glad you enjoyed banter-fest... oh, wait. Were you referring to the part where Clark takes off his shirt? Silly me. Yes, he'll... oh, I probably shouldn't say. Take off his shirt again, soon. Glad she figured that out! But old paranoid habits are hard to break. Probably, but I'm thinking he's more insecure than anything else. Well, he's no canon Clark, but at least he has an ideal to look up to. CLARK: What are you talking about, EW? The only thing I envy of that guy is his curse-free existence. Thank you for reading.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Hi Virginia Sorry it took me long to respond. I've had a crazy couple of weeks. Hopefully things will slow down in my RL for a while (the couple of weeks before school lets out) and I'll be quicker at responding. No need to apologize. I totally understand being busy. I'm glad you enjoyed banter-fest... oh, wait. Were you referring to the part where Clark takes off his shirt? Sorry for the confusion. I meant the banter-fest.
Cuidadora
"Honey, we didn't care if you were a Russian or a Martian... You were ours... and we weren't giving you to anybody." ~ Martha in Strange Visitor
"A love that risks nothing is worth nothing." ~ Jonathan in Big Girls Don't Fly
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Hi cuidadora: I'm glad you enjoyed banter-fest... oh, wait. Were you referring to the part where Clark takes off his shirt? Sorry for the confusion. I meant the banter-fest. Sooooo, I should call Clark and tell him to put his clothes back on? LOIS: Never! Just teasing. More bantering in the parts to come. Soon you all will be begging for some A-Plot relief, right?
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Darth Michael: Sorry about the delay, Michael. I still had this one on my to-do list and for some reason thought it was a response to a FDK response. Can I use the excuse of being sick, again? I mean again sick again. I'm hoping to be 100% soon. What a nice change that would be. Weeeee! Awww…she wants him to take her on a beach. CLARK: ‘on’? That’s not grammatically correct. LOIS: It’s not? /confused/ For a first* time ON a beach probably isn't the best place, unless there's a sand-free hut on said beach. (*Wink, wink, nudge, nudge). Not with the Planet, only with the planet. Nobody ever buys her chocolates for her birthday? Nope. Never. /Sorry, that wasn't the answer you were expecting?/ She thought he wanted to take her on a beach and he wanted to take her to dinner? No, she thought he wanted a one-night stand earlier in the year, not on her birthday. CLARK: For the nine-hundredth time, *I* don't do one night stands. LOIS: One night lie-downs whatever. Yes. The Flash needs about 5 miles of straight track to get up to the speed of sound. And that guy can deliver a warm pizza in 30 minutes or less from the other side of the continent. Well, in Strange Visitor (wasn't it?), Clark is able to stop 3 accidents around the Daily Planet bullpen in seconds flat without anyone noticing, so I don't think he needs to build up speed. And in Ordinary People, he flies around the world in seconds (micro seconds) bringing Lois gifts during the course of one of her rambles, so... she's got a point about him being fast enough to break the sound barrier across a room. So: LOIS: /kicked Stoke in the crotch, saving herself from the Michael Jackson impersonator himself/ CLARK: /watched and wondered at all the other people who could have been saving if he wasn't obsessed with Lois's safety so much/ Pretty much. He’d have to start over in another universe, *again*? Actually, that's KenJ's story. I doubt THIS Clark would be up for the torture of breaking in yet another new Lois. So, all Lex would have had to do was kill Lois and make Superman watch, or well, send her body to him, to make the dense Kryptonian go away? LEX: /wallbash/ Technically, that was Luthor's original honeymoon plan, until Revenge addled his brain into being obsessed with Lois and he decided he wanted to keep her alive. (Or was it pure love, one of the two.) LEX: Oh, no. I didn't, did I? Oh, that's just... kill me. Kill me now. You've met Lois, right? I’m not sure she’s a fit wife for a superhero. It's not as if Superman is a politician. CLARK: Anyway, she'd be marrying me, not Superman. LANA: I’ll say. He dumped *me*! And I’m a blonde. Technically, YOU dumped him, honey. This time, he’d bring her to her apartment, check under the bed, and then kiss her good night on the cheek before leaving? LOIS: Wow. Mr. Excitement. BATS: I’ve now gotten this great new candles. See the lovely green glow? LOIS: Pretty. Most people don't use candles in the daylight, though. Confidence issues? LOIS: It’s been three hours since my last chocolate bar, okay? No. She's still confident about landing Superman. LOIS: Or flying him. I'm not picky. Yea, all she’d have to do is turn on sports, or walk around naked, and he’d not hear a thing she’s saying. LOIS: /dancing by/ I’ll be out, checking out that new Intergang headquarter in the new Costmart. CLARK: Yeah. Whatever, Lois. Don't die. You're blocking the screen. LOIS: Don't you have x-ray vision? See? Clark’s not planning on having sex with her. He doesn’t need a car. Money means nothing to him. And sports, well, he mainly goes for some obscure team from the heartland. LOIS: See, not being male is a compliment. CLARK: Still not seeing that. “You stuck a knife in my masculinity,” he refuted. Oooooooohhhhh /thud/ Not literally. Actually, there’s a lot of debate going on, all the time. Arguing is kind-of their career description. I mean debating. “Besides, that knife would end up bent out of shape if I tried. No one is more male than you.” ER: /shocked that EW went for such a painful visual reference/ Too much? Or was Lois's admission that no one was more Male than Clark too surprising? Yes, fishing for compliments. /points at Kathy B’s Camping With Clark/ Fun story. Umm…I think some chocolate dripped off the s’more there. See, part of my grammar problem is that I use commas and ellipses (...) to represent pauses in conversation. Fixing... Fixing... Okay, fixed on the Archive version. That she wants to stuff herself full of s’mores? That's ever been in doubt? “Oh, look. Your building. Do you need me to walk you up?” he asked, his voice increasing speed with each word. He pointed over his shoulder. “I need to…” Dip? Be one or go for one or both? At least she's 50% right. CLARK: How is being wrong, 50% right? LOIS: I'm always right. She’s really roughing it, there, isn’t she? LOIS: What? It won’t even have a fax machine! Also, would a fully stocked RV have an air mattress? I always figured, regular mattress, since it’s built in? Well, the air mattress was originally in a tent, but then I thought an RV was more her camping style. Although, now that I think about it the only air mattress she needs is Clark. CLARK: Was that an insult? Only a bit. Antarctic Expedition Ship: Look out! Some really big iceberg just calved. The true reason we have global warming. CLARK: Don't look at me. Look at Lois! Ah, that’s where he went! He’s hoping that Lois is up for a reunion with Rachel. Um... No. Lois talked about eating hotdogs by a campfire and it reminded of his night with Rachel. RACHEL: I most certainly did not. CLARK: RACHEL: Never mind. I guess we did eat hotdogs. My bad. He could put some Kryptonite next to the bed. That way, he might be the one to die after all. CLARK: Not helpful. Perhaps that ocean water left him feeling a bit salty. Lex had sex with a Lois-lookalike right on camera and showed it to you. He later proceeded to brutally murder her. Does that help? CLARK: LOIS: No. Not at all. Maybe if he had said that he forgot that he had a date with Mayson? He's trying to not lie as much. I’m not sure this is the best way to phrase things. You've been reading this story for years now, and you still haven't figured out that this Clark isn't good about phrasing things? He's good at digging. How he would like to win with his girlfriend? CLARK: Yea, that too. She ran off and joined the army afterwards. CLARK: I don't blame myself for that. RACHEL: Well, that makes one of us. EW: /just joking/ Did he just tell her that he has very high expectations for her? That she really had to bring her A-game to make it worth the 1000 bucks he’s shelling out? Actually, no, since Lois is desperate enough to do him for free. LOIS: Thanks. A lot. Wait. What? Aww…he’s keeping it for their wedding night, to make it special! Perhaps. “I was planning on it,” he retorted, wincing when he realized that he said those words aloud. ER: /amazed at what Clark just admitted to Lois/ CLARK: What? I said I'd be more honest. LOIS: He's just rubbing it* in to torture me, isn't he? *being honest as opposed to other things. “Come and visit me, and I just might be,” she cooed. ER: /shocked that Lois would acknowledge the fact that she'd only be able to make love to Clark in her dreams/ She's a smart cookie. ************* One More Talk ************* Right. Do you have a better title for this important conversation? So, the nonexistent kind? “Would you have said ‘yes’?” Clark asked. ER: /having received lock-jaw from too much shock in this part/ Hoping you've recovered. Is Clark a glutton for punishment or what? ER: /No, but I am./ So, glad you come to enjoy my ride... roller-coaster ride. Story. You know what I mean.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Can I use the excuse of being sick, again? I mean again sick again. I'm hoping to be 100% soon. What a nice change that would be. For a first* time ON a beach probably isn't the best place, unless there's a sand-free hut on said beach. (*Wink, wink, nudge, nudge). LOIS: Clark’s handy. I’m sure he could build one in a jiffy. ER: Nobody ever buys her chocolates for her birthday? EW: Nope. Never. /Sorry, that wasn't the answer you were expecting?/ Poor dear No, she thought he wanted a one-night stand earlier in the year, not on her birthday. CLARK: For the nine-hundredth time, *I* don't do one night stands. LOIS: One night lie-downs whatever. She seems to focus on the oddest tidbits, doesn’t she? she's got a point about him being fast enough to break the sound barrier across a room. True. Seems they’ve never been overly consistent. Or maybe he was still recovering from Kryptonite poisoning at the beginning of Season 2. So: LOIS: /kicked Stoke in the crotch, saving herself from the Michael Jackson impersonator himself/ CLARK: /watched and wondered at all the other people who could have been saving if he wasn't obsessed with Lois's safety so much/ EW: Pretty much. CLARK: Better they die for sure than Lois dies maybe. Actually, that's KenJ's story. I doubt THIS Clark would be up for the torture of breaking in yet another new Lois. LOIS: ‘break me in’? ‘BREAK ME *IN*’? LEX: Yes, you know, so you make a good wife and what not. LOIS: CLARK: LEX: Oh, no. I didn't, did I? Oh, that's just... kill me. Kill me now. ER: She’s quite deceitful. EW: You've met Lois, right? Yes? It's not as if Superman is a politician. CLARK: Anyway, she'd be marrying me, not Superman. Sounds like a politician to me. EW: Technically, YOU dumped him, honey. LANA: #66. It’s always the guys fault. No. She's still confident about landing Superman. LOIS: Or flying him. I'm not picky. CLARK: Yeah. Whatever, Lois. Don't die. You're blocking the screen. LOIS: Don't you have x-ray vision? CLARK: Always gives me a headache. Besides, you’re wearing a lead-lined costume. Arguing is kind-of their career description. I mean debating. Their relationship’s a job? Too much? Or was Lois's admission that no one was more Male than Clark too surprising? The first one made for a fun response See, part of my grammar problem is that I use commas and ellipses (...) to represent pauses in conversation. Fixing... Fixing... Okay, fixed on the Archive version. Yes. Funny aside, I never hear a pause in ‘Hold it right there’. Hm… I think I’d actually use a full stop if I needed a real pause. ER: That she wants to stuff herself full of s’mores? EW: That's ever been in doubt? As her primary motivation? Yeah, kinda… Be one or go for one or both? Second one. LOIS: Both. At least she's 50% right. CLARK: /is bad at math/ How is being wrong, 50% right? LOIS: I'm always right. Although, now that I think about it the only air mattress she needs is Clark. CLARK: Was that an insult? /points at Home series/ No, not really. CLARK: /still trying to forget the whole nuclear power plant incident/ Don't look at me. Look at Lois! LOIS: Did he just say I’m so hot, I cause global warming? ER: See? The ending of Another Lois *was* all her fault! Um... No. Lois talked about eating hotdogs by a campfire and it reminded of his night with Rachel. RACHEL: I most certainly did not. CLARK: /goes into details he won’t ever be going to be able to forget/ RACHEL: Never mind. I guess we did eat hotdogs. My bad. /plays the innocent farm girl/ Naughty! ER: He could put some Kryptonite next to the bed. That way, he might be the one to die after all. CLARK: Not helpful. What? LEX: Very helpful! CLARK: /is once again traumatized/ LOIS: No. Not at all. But it did help to distract him. Wasn’t that the point? He's trying to not lie as much. ER: Especially lies that might get Lois to buy him a new watch? EW: You've been reading this story for years now, and you still haven't figured out that this Clark isn't good about phrasing things? /can’t believe the ER’s faux naiveté/ What? CLARK: I don't blame myself for that. RACHEL: Well, that makes one of us.
EW: /just joking/ Actually, no, since Lois is desperate enough to do him for free. LOIS: Thanks. A lot. Wait. What? /is getting really fed up with all the red rose comments on this board/ Oops? CLARK: What? I said I'd be more honest. LOIS: He's just rubbing it* in to torture me, isn't he?
*being honest as opposed to other things. Oops? Do you have a better title for this important conversation? Still lends itself to snarky comebacks, though EW: Hoping you've recovered. /unrepentant/ Yeah, but now the cheeks hurt from grinning… So, glad you come to enjoy my ride... roller-coaster ride. Story. You know what I mean. Michael
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