Where we left Lois and Clark in Part 205…
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One More Talk
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Oh, look, last part’s new chapter was just enough for a cliffy teaser. You’re kind of an evil one, aren’t you?
LOIS: She’s prevented me from enjoying the Kryptonian fruit for hundreds of parts now, so what do you think?
Lois glanced over at Clark from the corner of her eye. “Would you have told me about Superman first?”
CLARK:
Why? How does he figure into this?
“Would you have worded it better?”
Telling her about Superman?
“It’s true. Nobody is quite like you, Chuck,” Lois said with a gentle pat to his chest. “It was horrible, though. Did you steal the idea from Mr. Darcy?”
Pride and Prejudice?
“Oh, come on, Clark! Don’t tell me you’ve never read Jane Austen’s ‘Pride and Prejudice’,” she replied.
It’s not really on the curriculum in non-English-speaking countries. We got to read about teenagers shooting each other during the First World War and committing suicide just before graduation because they think they flunked the final exams. Separate books.
“Of course,” Lois said, waving him off. “It wouldn’t be an ordinary day without it.”
Clark returned ten minutes later, carrying two coffees. He was learning.
And no chocolate bar?
“At least, I didn’t insult your family or your looks,” Clark said, sadly returning to his defense of his atrocious proposal. “As Mr. Darcy did when he first proposed to Elizabeth Bennet.”
Huh…Did he go off and read P&P during those 10 minutes?
LIBRARIAN: I’m telling you, Superman flew in, asked for the 19th century novels section and went to town. No idea what got into him.
“There wasn’t a call for help, was there? You ran off to read the book.”
Clark smiled sheepishly, admitting she was right.
Does that mean she will have to go with movie references from now on. At least, until the Internet and Wikipedia make their come back?
“I didn’t like Wickham, though,” he continued with a frown.
Lex?
Clark coughed. “Perhaps not the best word choice. If your sister Lucy ran off with Luthor…”
And Lois would have been ticked off that Lex didn’t choose her?
And Lucy has more sense than to date a criminal. At least, Lois hoped she did.
JONNHY:
“And it had been an ordinary day?” Lois asked. Like today?
“Precisely.”
Oh, God! Is he…?
Asking for her to plant another green-K heel in his sensitive region?
Wonder if she’s hoping or fearing.
LOIS: I fear nothing. Not that that I’m hoping…well…expecting. Which I’m not. Expecting, I mean. Or hoping. What was the question?
CLARK: If I’m going to ask you to marry you.
LOIS: Yes!
CLARK:
LOIS: No!
CLARK:
LOIS: I mean…
“Much too soon,” Clark agreed with an obvious sigh of relief.
No proposal while she’s having the curse?
CLARK:
Couldn’t they just wait until the wedding night and go with a traditional one year engagement period?
“I’m not ready,” Lois said, trying to make it her decision again. “But someday, I might be.”
Clark relaxed back against the bench. “Someday sounds good.” He glanced over at her and she could see in his nervousness the unasked question in his eyes.
Maybe she will be much more ready with another man? Like creepy a FBI agent or a creepy psychiatrist or the creepy son of a criminal billionaire?
She gave him a smile of reassurance. “Don’t worry. When I’m ready, you’ll be the first to know,” she murmured, leaning over to kiss him gently. “You are my best friend after all.”
Awwwww! She friendzoned him and wants him to be her gentleman of honor
She really needed to stop picking fights with him.
At least until they can make up in an…agitated fashion in some private location like the storage cabinet or the copier room?
“I don’t kiss my friends like that,” Clark said.
CAT:
Caught, Clark sighed. “You mean more to me than just some ordinary best friend could.”
CAT: Hey! I’m not ordinary!
“Do you want me to admit that I still want to ravish your body? Because I do,” she added with an extra sultry tone to her voice.
Clark flushed, his whole body stiffening into steel… and embarrassment? “That’s not what I… I don’t even know… if that’s possible, Lois.”
I…think Lois would disagree with that statement.
“It’s possible, Clark.”
“Why do you keep saying that?” he asked. “How would you know?”
Lois smiled, and took a sip of her coffee. “I know.”
Oh dear. Did she…? Should he mention that he doesn’t have his strength while he’s under the influence?
CLARK: Or stamina.
LOIS:
“Clark,” she replied, brushing his lips with hers. “It wouldn’t be our first time, you know.”
This time it was Lois’s turn to blush and glance away. “We made love when I visited you in the hospital during Nightfall.”
“I wouldn’t lie about this,” she said adamantly.
“Right,” Clark scoffed.
“I wouldn’t!”
“Sure you would,” he said. “But I don’t blame you.”
“Excuse me!” she growled.
“Lois, you told me during my birthday dinner that we hadn’t had sex that night.
He got her there, didn’t he?
LOIS: I only said that I wouldn’t lie about having sex with him. Not about not having sex with him. See? Totally different things.
He ruffled her hair. “I’m flattered, Lois, I am. But I don’t have to believe you.”
That pregnancy sure would come in handy right about now, now wouldn’t it?
“But I’m not lying!” she yelled, jumping to her feet and scaring a flock of nearby pigeons into the air. “We did too make love!”
Does sound like a petulant girl, doesn’t she?
“Why don’t you say that a little louder, Lois? I don’t think they quite heard you in Gotham City.”
Is it time for WHALTTA? But shouldn’t there be an entire season in between then…and now?
Lois could feel her anger boiling. “I lied to you then, but I’m not lying to you now. You have to believe me.”
Once a liar, always a liar.
Lois sat back down with a huff, drumming her fingers on her leg as she thought of a way to convince him she wasn’t lying… well, this time.
Maybe if she came into his apartment late at night, dropped her raincoat and ravished him in his bed?
“I didn’t lie to you on your birthday, exactly. I Clark-Kented you.”
Oh, look. She’s going all Obi Wan on his now.
CLARK: Is that when she’s telling me that she’s actually my sister?
“You asked if we had ‘mad, passionate sex’ in the hospital, remember?”
But he wasn’t quite up to it?
He blinked, stared at her, and then blinked again. “I’m not seeing it.”
Lois leaned forward and kissed his lips. “You don’t see the difference between ‘hot, passionate sex’ and ‘making love’?” she purred. “I don’t believe you.”
CAT: He never had sex with me.
PHIL: Really? *Really*?
Lois picked up her coffee and took a sip. “If you had known we had made love in the hospital, you would have tried to stop me from going undercover to nab Lex.”
CLARK: No! No, I wouldn’t have.
LOIS: Uh-huh.
CLARK:
LOIS:
CLARK:
LOIS: You would have tried to stop me either way!
She glared at him. “Luthor is in jail, isn’t he?”
Clark looked over his shoulder in the direction of Stryker's Island Penitentiary, tilted down his glasses a notch, and nodded before returning his gaze to Lois.
He does realize that there’s clones available, right?
“No,” Lois admitted, her posture softening. “I was embarrassed.”
“You were embarrassed about having made love to me?” he grumbled. “Terrific.”
“It was more than sex to me.”
“You didn’t take advantage of me, Lois,” he murmured into her hair. “I wanted you just as much as you wanted me.”
So…’hot nurse’ fantasy can now be crossed off his bucket list? Since he already got ‘girl scout’ and ‘cheerleader’?
“You’ll still have that chance,” Clark said, brushing his hand through her hair. “Someday, when I’m ready.”
Is he daft?
CLARK: What? She could still be lying.
She couldn’t believe him. “And you’re saying that you don’t want to ‘ravish’ me?”
He’s quite steeled himself for it. Then again, his bravado is gone now.
Lois brushed her hand against his thigh. “I beg to differ.”
Maybe he’s a little ready?
CLARK: Hey!
He took hold of her hand. “Mentally and emotionally ready, minha,” he murmured. “And, yes, physically, too.”
Yes. I think he probably needs some time on a couch with Ari.
Clark held up his hand. “Even if what you told me is true,” he said,
Oh look!
CLARK: Once a liar. Always a liar. And I won’t entrust her life to Lois’s ability to tell the truth.
“And physically, I wasn’t hurt when we…” She cleared her throat, unsure what word to use for what had happened. “— in the hospital.”
‘played naughty nurse’? Plus, I reiterate the pregnancy conundrum.
“I’m so glad,” he whispered, returning her kiss. “If you had died…” She heard him choke on the word.
…it would have been so awkward if she had contracted some deadly hospital bug while visiting him.
“Lois, it’s not a matter of believing you,” he explained. “While I was in the hospital, my body was weakened by Kryptonite. Making love to you at full strength would be another story.”
So, maybe she didn’t make love with Clark/Superman/Kal-El because a part of him was missing. Two parts, actually. This way, the curse didn’t get activated.
She had no idea what she could do to be able to prove to him what she already knew to be true… well, other than the obvious, which he clearly didn’t want to try
CLARK: Master Yoda always said, ‘Do, or do not. There is no try.’
They were perfectly suited for one another.
The ice Maiden and the guy who doesn’t want to have sex because he associates it with his former fiancée?
LOIS: Was I just insulted?
*TWICE*?
I knew the wind was too cold today, not to have a jacket.
Am not sure about that extra print, there. Might be. Might not be.
You’re positively flushed and your heart rate just skyrocketed and your eyes…”
That’s her horny-face.
“— your eyes are…” He swallowed. “— are… are… dilated… Wow!” He whispered the last word.
CLARK: Wow…she looks just like Cat did when we went on that investigation of the male strippers con ring.
“Fly us someplace private, Chuck,” she said between breaths. “Now!”
She sounds just about ready, now.
Clark clamored to his feet. “Lois!” he sputtered, taking a few steps backwards. “Are you sure you’re okay? I mean, you’re acting a bit Revenge-addled.”
“So, I’d have to be sprayed with Revenge to want you, Chuck?”
It had helped in the past. Plus, it would be a great reason for her to bend the truth.
LOIS: Hey!
Fine. Lie outright.
“Clicked?” he repeated, again with alarm. “Did I whistle and buzz too? Is that how you knew?”
They should go to the Nutmeg Room
Annoyed once more by his lack of self-confidence, she shoved his chest. The surprise of it knocked him to the ground.
Oh, that could come in handy. Him on the ground. Her ready to pounce.
“What’s the matter with you? I’m trying to give you a compliment,” she yelled. “It’s not as if it was your first time.”
Wouldn’t that have been awkward to come out now?
Ooooh! Maybe a bit of punctuation here?
“Yes, a compliment. I’ve been known to give them out from time to time.”
LOIS:
Ribbit?
“You do?” he asked, ducking.
See?
She harrumphed. “Forget it, Chuck. You’ve ruined the mood, anyway.”
Hah! That’s how he could keep her alive. Pick a fight *and* insult her.
LOIS: He’d prevent sex from happening. I would still go and investigate. Not that I’m not safe while I’m investigating.
Lois waited. She knew from the way that he had spoken that he hadn’t finished his point, and this sounded important. She wasn’t going to miss any more information by interrupting Clark.
His lips formed a line. “Hey, this is hard enough to admit to without the heckling from the peanut gallery.”
Hey! The Author is hoping for those! Right? *Right*?
“Sorry,” Lois said contritely. “I’ll be good. Go on.”
Oooh! She’s going to be playing the good girl. That should be exciting for Superman.
Clark winced. “You’re right. You’re right. I’m sorry.”
Flattery will get him everywhere.
“What if I said, ‘I love your butt’?” he asked, snaking his hands down to her bottom and giving her a squeeze.
“— how slow…” Her lips trailed down his neck to where it met his clavicle. “— is ‘slow’?”
About 15 minutes?
“I made a vow that I’d be abstinent until marriage,” he confessed softly.
Oh boy.
LOIS: He can fly. And Las Vegas doesn’t have a waiting period.
So, now the truth is out... or is it? Who should Clark believe? Lois or Wells?
I think he’s already married so it doesn’t matter anyway.
Michael