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#263575 05/27/15 02:28 PM
Joined: Apr 2011
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Wrong Place, Wrong Time, Wrong Clark TOC can be found Here

Thank you for reading. Comments willingly accepted here.

Many thanks to Lieta for correcting Clark's Italian.

Last edited by VirginiaR; 05/27/15 07:13 PM. Reason: My gratitude.

VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066
Likes: 31
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Online Content
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peep

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“You evil, evil man,” Lois murmured from against Clark’s chest.

He smiled, knowing exactly where this conversation would head next.

“How dare you introduce me to another delicious Italian dessert,” she went on.
laugh

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“If they bake bread and pastries and sell them with coffee, it could be called a panificio-pasticceria-panetteria-caffetteria or a panificio-pasticceria-panetteria-ristorante.”
shock Fudge Castle sounds so much more simple.

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“How do you know about these wonderful desserts if you don’t like sweets?”

He shrugged. “I have good hearing.”
clap

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“I still think you should have tried at least a bite,” she said, adjusting the shawl around her shoulders.

Oh, please. Clark tried to hide his scoff with a cough. “You didn’t look as if you wanted to share,” he said with more diplomacy than his thoughts.
He’s naughty!

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She returned his scoffing expression. “Nobody likes fruitcake, Clark.”

“Then why did they have it on the menu?”
It’s something of a tradition? huh

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“My tiramisu was to-die-for better,” she said, not acknowledging his point. “You should have tried it.”
So, if Lois had ‘fed’ Clark she’d have then died within the next 24 hours?

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“Mmmm,” he murmured. “You’re right. That does taste good.”
rotflol He does have improved. He no longer throws up in her mouth. Of course, this might also be related to the fact that she’s stopped snogging with Lex before visiting her boytoy.

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“Oh.” He could feel the heat rising in his cheeks as he moved his mouth to her ear, where he said softly, “I have to consciously remember to not rise out of my shoes when you do that.”
So, he should best always make sure his feet are hooked underneath something before kissing Lois?

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“Oh, right. Well, it’s just a little something I saw and thought you might like,” he said. Perry’s warning echoed in his thoughts.
[Linked Image] o ?

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“I’m sure I’ll love it,” she said.

Clark wasn’t as sure.
Mace? Or maybe a homing beacon for her to wear?

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What kind of wearable item was she thinking of, he wondered. Clothing? He swallowed as his mind automatically moved to underclothing.
Sounds like the obvious direction. Although, he might give her a nun’s habit instead. Just to make sure that she’s not distracting any longer.

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Had she bought him lingerie for his birthday?
Maybe a new pair of red briefs?

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No, he couldn’t picture that. She must have meant that she bought herself lingerie to wear for him.
[Linked Image] Wouldn’t that be ‘she bought gift wrap for her to wrap his birthday present in’?

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Was that what she was expecting? After he specifically told her the previous day that he wasn’t ready to move their relationship in that direction and that he would be waiting until marriage?
LOIS: confused He does realize that a ‘no’ just means ‘yes, but you have to apply yourself’, right?

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Her tone certainly hadn’t suggested ‘dress’ or ‘shirt’. No, no. Clothing wasn’t an appropriate gift –
I don’t know. If she had bought him a dress to wear to work, that might be a great gift to the newsroom.
CAT: I hope they make photos… mad

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Anyway, if… when he proposed to Lois again, he would make it special.
http://www.davidstore.site50.net/no...2lq3ff&autoplay=1&starttime=1210

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Lana had once griped about a friend of hers whose boyfriend had proposed on Valentine’s Day. She had said it was tacky and just showed the man was a cheapskate, because he didn’t want to buy her a gift for Valentine’s Day as well.
:roftflol: Also, do people celebrate the anniversary of their proposal? Wouldn’t it be much more efficient to use V-Day for the wedding? Then again, Lana’s always been a tad…special.

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A proposal of marriage should be all about a man showing how important the woman was to him.
I’m assuming the proposal RSVP sent to Lois via Mrs. Cox wasn’t up to Clark’s standards, then?

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Thankfully, no one jumped out from behind her couch to yell ‘surprise!’
PRANKSTER: wave

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There were much more important things to do than celebrate her birthday. With one leap into the air, Lois pushed her apartment door closed, kicked off her shoes, and landed in Clark’s arms, knocking them both onto her couch.
jawdrop

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Nothing seemed to work. They were still firmly planted on her couch.
laugh She’s going at it mechanically and it doesn’t turn on his flight stick.

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His hands formed a T again. “What’s going on?”

How dense was this guy? “I’m kissing you… or I was before you interrupted me.”
Maybe he’s an alien? Maybe kissing only works when there’s special red lighting in the room?

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“Let me rephrase that.” He paused to take another slow breath. “You're acting a bit… methodical.”
Did he just call her a bad hooker?
LOIS: Hookers don’t kiss.

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“You seemed very intense… as if you were on some sort of mission.”
To visit her bedroom?

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“No,” she said, rising to her feet. “My boyfriend just accused me of forcing myself on him.”
Clark sure knows to pour ice water onto a fire, doesn’t he?

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Lois crossed her arms again, saying flatly, “Whatever.” How could he accuse her of manipulating their kisses? Her brow furrowed.
Because she did and now she’s ticked off that he called her out on it?

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Methodical. Ha! She had just been trying to see what it took to make him float off the ground. How was that being methodical?
Maybe a seeing-eye dog would help the mad dog?

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Her brow furrowed as another thought came to her. Did Clark need to concentrate to keep his feet on the ground? Was his natural inclination to float in the air, so he needed to focus a part of his brain on mimicking gravity in order to blend in better?
clap I guess it’s a first that someone accused Clark of being an airhead.

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It was smaller than a breadbox, but definitely bigger than a gift box containing jewelry of any sort. It was too square cube in shape to be clothing or another lava lamp.
Maybe a mobile phone?

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Lois sat down on her sofa and proceeded to tear off the bow and wrapping paper until she uncovered a box set of the three Lethal Weapon movies. “I… I ….Don’t know what to say,” she stammered.
Awww…and huh? Not very romantic.

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“How did you know I like Mel Gibson?” she asked.
Or maybe it is.

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“Cheated,” he repeated. “I suspected you liked these movies because I saw them in your video collection in the future. I’m sorry. That was wrong of me. You’re not her; you’re you. I’ll return them and get you something else.”
laugh

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Then, it felt as if the world tilted, and suddenly Lois found the floor beneath her feet once more.
See? Floating.

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“Float kiss me again. Only this time, I want to feel it.”

“Feel… what exactly?” Clark asked cautiously.

“Weightless in your arms.”
I wonder if a two-week honeymoon would have the same effect on Lois as two weeks in space would.

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“You could make love to me five feet above the bed, and I bet I would be thoroughly distracted enough to not even notice,” she dared.
[Linked Image]

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A wicked grin flashed across his face. “That can be…” The grin slipped, and he ran his fingers through her hair. “Don’t tempt me,” he murmured.
Oops?

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Challenge accepted.
Oh boy. A Lois on a mission.

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She was soooo going to win.
Or get very frustrated in the process.

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“Forgive me, Father, for I’ve sinned.”
[Linked Image] Also, he had impure thoughts and invoked the Lord’s name in conjunction with Lois?

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“Clark?” returned Padre Carlos’s surprised voice. “Have you converted since we last spoke and given another priest the commission?” Clark could hear the humor in his voice.
laugh

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Clark set his head against the screen separating them. “I’m been having lustful thoughts about Lois… all the time,” he went on. “Help me.”

“Marry her and have many babies,” Carlos replied, opening the door of his confessional.
rotflol
LOIS: That one! I want that one to do the ceremony!

Quote
“I heard back from the Vatican, regarding your inquiry,” Carlos said. “They told me to reassure you that reincarnation doesn’t exist; therefore, an eternal curse upon your love is impossible.”
[Linked Image] Sounds…reasonable?
WELLS: [Linked Image]

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“Lois and I may have been… um… intimate,” Clark blurted out in low hiss.

“Pardon?” Carlos’s voice sounded strained.
laugh Poor Carlos. He must be sooo confused.

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“It was when I had amnesia, during Nightfall. I… I… I wasn’t myself, incapacitated, and I don’t rightly know,”
So, basically, he’s telling his priest that it was all Eve’s fault?

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I feel as if I am being tricked into compliance… as if someone
EW: wave

Ooooh! Fun! Also, I did miss him smile1
wave Michael


Join us on the #loisclark Discord server! We talk about fanfic, our favorite show, life, and more! (It’s almost like the IRC days of old again!)

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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Darth Michael: Fear not, my brave FDKer. I'm just happy to see you didn't fall off the side of the Earth. Actually, I'm always happy whenever someone shows up to comment. Then, I know that my reader count isn't a glitch. wink

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Fudge Castle sounds so much more simple.
I'm often how amazed other languages make speaking much more difficult. 3 definite articles for "the". Greek has bunch a words for "love". A formal and informal address system. We English speakers have it easy. Oh, wait, maybe everyone learning English has it easy (except that like in French we don't always pronounce words as they're spelt. A trait I really like about German.)

Quote
He’s naughty!
He's naughty because he knew that taking Lois up on her offer for a free bite, he could actually be risking his health?

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It’s something of a tradition? /huh/
Fruitcake being a dessert or Lois not admitting she's ever wrong?

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So, if Lois had ‘fed’ Clark she’d have then died within the next 24 hours?
CLARK: Or me. 50/50 chance all around. Wait. What are we talking about again?

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He does have improved. He no longer throws up in her mouth. Of course, this might also be related to the fact that she’s stopped snogging with Lex before visiting her boytoy.
lol So, it wasn't the taste of chocolate on Lois's tongue, but the taste of Lex? [Linked Image] Okay, now, even I'm feeling sick at that thought.
CLARK: Makes sense.
LOIS: mad I rarely ever kissed Lex!
LEX: Prostitutes don't kiss.

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So, he should best always make sure his feet are hooked underneath something before kissing Lois?
It's still a feeling he's getting used to.

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Mace?
Romantic.
Quote
Or maybe a homing beacon for her to wear?
Because that went over so well when Lex gave her one.

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Sounds like the obvious direction. Although, he might give her a nun’s habit instead. Just to make sure that she’s not distracting any longer.
CARLOS: drool
CLARK: Maybe not.

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Maybe a new pair of red briefs?
Perhaps.

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ER: /uh/ Wouldn’t that be ‘she bought gift wrap for her to wrap his birthday present in’?
LOIS: Still a gift!
Maybe it's a huge box with a condom inside? peep
CLARK: Isn't it a little late to be exorcizing caution?
LOIS: It's never too late.
CAT: Actually...

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LOIS: /confused/ He does realize that a ‘no’ just means ‘yes, but you have to apply yourself’, right?
After the relationships that Lois has had, I could see why she might believe this.

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I don’t know. If she had bought him a dress to wear to work, that might be a great gift to the newsroom.
CAT: I hope they make photos… /mad/
Oh, sorry for the confusion. He's again referring to what she was expecting for her birthday gift here

Quote
ER: /shows clip of when proposals go bad/
LOIS: Yep. I could see that happening.

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Also, do people celebrate the anniversary of their proposal?
I wouldn't know. My husband never proposed. We just kind of decided that we both wanted to and moved forward with our relationship.
Quote
Wouldn’t it be much more efficient to use V-Day for the wedding? Then again, Lana’s always been a tad…special.
Actually, now that I think about it, Lana and Clark were supposed to get married on Valentine's Day. [Linked Image] Hmmmm. So, maybe their marriage was doomed from the start.

Quote
I’m assuming the proposal RSVP sent to Lois via Mrs. Cox wasn’t up to Clark’s standards, then?
When did that happen?

Originally Posted by Darth Michael
Originally Posted by WC 208
Thankfully, no one jumped out from behind her couch to yell ‘surprise!’
PRANKSTER: /wave/
Actually, I was thinking about what happened during Clark's birthday in S4, when they started to make out just inside their house only to find a surprise party awaiting them.

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She’s going at it mechanically and it doesn’t turn on his flight stick.
Mechanically, Methodically. Tomato. Potato. wink

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Maybe he’s an alien? Maybe kissing only works when there’s special red lighting in the room?
Hence the purchase of the lava lamp? Makes sense.

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Did he just call her a bad hooker?
LOIS: Hookers don’t kiss.
CLARK: No!
LOIS: They do kiss?
CLARK: I don't know.
LOIS: So, you don't know if you just called me a hooker?
CLARK: I can't win, can I?
LOIS: A well established fact, Chuck.

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To visit her bedroom?
He was thinking more like a B39 or NSA type mission, but that works, too.

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Clark sure knows to pour ice water onto a fire, doesn’t he?
CLARK: It's a natural talent. All Els have it. That's why I don't have any siblings.

Quote
Because she did and now she’s ticked off that he called her out on it?
Perhaps.

Quote
Maybe a seeing-eye dog would help the mad dog?
CLARK: I've found it's better for my kissing life, if I don't call Lois blind.

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I guess it’s a first that someone accused Clark of being an airhead.
Well, in this FDK. peep

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Maybe a mobile phone?
She has one already.

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Awww…and huh? Not very romantic.
Neither was a lava lamp, according to Cat.

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Or maybe it is.
LOIS: He understands my need to see some cute guy's butt! What a great boyfriend!

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I wonder if a two-week honeymoon would have the same effect on Lois as two weeks in space would.
No, I'm sure they would have to come to earth sometime to eat and replenish fluids.

Originally Posted by ER
Originally Posted by WC 208
A wicked grin flashed across his face. “That can be…” The grin slipped, and he ran his fingers through her hair. “Don’t tempt me,” he murmured.
Oops?
Yep, he remembered accidentally dropping Lana and what a disaster that had been.
CLARK: It could have had something to do with her scream of terror.

Quote
Oh boy. A Lois on a mission.
evil Hmmmm. Considers that for the title of the next story arc.

Quote
Or get very frustrated in the process.
CLARK: Um... define "win" again. /eyes Sue's unfinished story #1 over yonder/

Originally Posted by ER
Originally Posted by WC 208
“Forgive me, Father, for I’ve sinned.”
ER: /glad to see Padre Carlos again/ Also, he had impure thoughts and invoked the Lord’s name in conjunction with Lois?
CLARK: No comment.

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LOIS: That one! I want that one to do the ceremony!
CLARK: Is it a good idea for them to meet, especially on our wedding day?

Quote
/uh/ Sounds…reasonable?
WELLS: /guess the pressure to perform is back on me/
Oopps.

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Poor Carlos. He must be sooo confused.
He knows what intimate means.
CARLOS: I wasn't always a priest, you know. Just... um... mostly.

Quote
So, basically, he’s telling his priest that it was all Eve’s fault?
CARLOS: That makes sense. WE blame her as well.

Originally Posted by ER
Originally Posted by WC 208
I feel as if I am being tricked into compliance… as if someone
EW: /wave/
blush

Quote
Ooooh! Fun! Also, I did miss him
Me, too. This isn't the last time we'll see him.

Last edited by VirginiaR; 06/10/15 01:38 PM. Reason: typo

VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066
Likes: 31
Boards Chief Administrator
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Online Content
Boards Chief Administrator
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066
Likes: 31

Quote
Then, I know that my reader count isn't a glitch.
[Linked Image]

Quote
3 definite articles for "the".
hyper And at least two declination!

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He's naughty because he knew that taking Lois up on her offer for a free bite, he could actually be risking his health?
Because he’s teasing her about her eating habits. Which could be just another way to die, come to think of it.

Quote
ER: It’s something of a tradition? /huh/
EW: Fruitcake being a dessert or Lois not admitting she's ever wrong?
Fruitcake being on the menu.
LOIS: Why should I perjure myself? confused

Quote
CLARK: Or me. 50/50 chance all around. Wait. What are we talking about again?
[Linked Image]

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EW: /thinks this was funny/ So, it wasn't the taste of chocolate on Lois's tongue, but the taste of Lex? /thinks some more about it and is no longer so sure/

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LOIS: /really doesn’t think once a date constitutes often/ I rarely ever kissed Lex!
LEX: Prostitutes don't kiss.
Did he just call her a hooker?
LEX: I paid for her at the Metro Club huh

Quote
ER: Mace?
EW: Romantic.
Keeps her safe from less-than-romantic romantically-inclined characters?
PRANSTER: wave

Quote
ER: Or maybe a homing beacon for her to wear?
EW: Because that went over so well when Lex gave her one.
Maybe if he doesn’t tell her about it?

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ER: Sounds like the obvious direction. Although, he might give her a nun’s habit instead. Just to make sure that she’s not distracting any longer.
CARLOS: /likes his Loises dressed in the cloth/
CLARK: Maybe not.
There’s actually a joke in German about how monks and nuns procreate – by sharing a cell. Which, in German is using the same word as cell division. So, this is double fun!

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CLARK: Isn't it a little late to be exorcizing caution?
rotflol
LOIS: Yes. We really should exorcize caution!

Quote
LOIS: It's never too late.
CAT: Actually...
She’s late?

Quote
Quote:
ER: /shows clip of when proposals go bad/
LOIS: Yep. I could see that happening.

Quote:
ER: Also, do people celebrate the anniversary of their proposal?
EW: I wouldn't know. My husband never proposed. We just kind of decided that we both wanted to and moved forward with our relationship.
clap

Quote
So, maybe their marriage was doomed from the start.
LOIS: Ya think?

Quote
ER: I’m assuming the proposal RSVP sent to Lois via Mrs. Cox wasn’t up to Clark’s standards, then?
EW: When did that happen?
I just figured Lex would outsource the proposing to his secretary?

Quote
LOIS: They do kiss?
CLARK: I don't know.
LOIS: So, you don't know if you just called me a hooker?
CLARK: I can't win, can I?
LOIS: A well established fact, Chuck.
clap Also, I wonder if Clark already reached China.

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CLARK: It's a natural talent. All Els have it. That's why I don't have any siblings.
laugh

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CLARK: I've found it's better for my kissing life, if I don't call Lois blind.
Sore spot, huh?

Quote
Considers that for the title of the next story arc.
notworthy

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CLARK: Um... define "win" again. /eyes Sue's unfinished story #1 over yonder/
clap

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CLARK: Is it a good idea for them to meet, especially on our wedding day?
Wouldn’t that be awkward?

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He knows what intimate means.
CARLOS: I wasn't always a priest, you know. Just... um... mostly.
Never found his Lois, huh?

Quote
Me, too. This isn't the last time we'll see him.
hyper [Linked Image]
wave Michael


Join us on the #loisclark Discord server! We talk about fanfic, our favorite show, life, and more! (It’s almost like the IRC days of old again!)

I go by Michael on the Archives.

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