Gratitude
Disclaimer: All recognisable characters etc. are property of DC Comics, Warner Bros and
December 3rd Productions.
Author's note: Fifth in the series started by At First Sight, and set at the end of Requiem for a Superhero. Thanks goes to KenJ And Trina for beta-reading.
______________________________________________________________________
I wasn't fast enough.
I wasn't fast enough, and it almost cost Lois her life.
Luthor saved her.
Now I have to be grateful to a man I despise for saving the life of the woman I love.
…
This week proved to be a turning point in my relationship with Lois Lane.
She's an incredibly complex woman, a collection of contradictions that both fascinates and mystifies me.
This week I met her father, and their fraught relationship made me realise something. With the exception of Perry White and Ally Dinello, I don't think Lois has ever had any male figure that she could rely on or trust. Not her father, not a friend, and from what she told me in my first week at the Planet, not a lover either.
It makes me wonder if she's always been so- so alone.
Her grief at Ally's murder made me want to comfort her, something I knew she wouldn't allow. But she let me see her when she was vulnerable, something I know she doesn't allow lightly.
And I had to accept that what I'd been feeling for her- that feeling of rightness, of belonging- was love.
I am in love with Lois Lane.
Whether any good ever comes of it is up in the air. After all, she is human and I am- not. The gulf between me and the people of this planet has never seemed so massive- or so insurmountable.
To know that she was in danger and to get there just a fraction of a second too late, to see the smug look on that slimy, despicable excuse for a human being's face at my failure, was galling beyond measure. And it was compounded by Perry's question.
Where was I?
Not that I could admit it to Perry, but I was outside, doing part of my job- catching the bad guys. But saving people is the other side of my job, and today I failed at it.
I know it's not the first time, and I know it won't be the last time. But if it happens again- if Lois is hurt or even killed because I wasn't there- I don't think I'd be able to forgive myself.
I can't- I won't- let that happen.
