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Joined: Oct 2013
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Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 825 |
Feedback folder for A Remarkable Woman. I've discovered it's a lot harder to write a story from Clark's POV when the episode focusses mostly on Lois! This is story #13 in the series. Funny thing is, I never intended to write a sequel to At First Sight, and now I have 12 of them. I'm going to see how many more I can get Feli
"It means never having to play it cool about how much you like something. It's basically a license to proudly emote on a somewhat childish level rather than behave like a supposed adult. Being a geek is extremely liberating."- Simon Pegg
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Sep 2013
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Definitely! Keep going . I've really enjoyed seeing where you go with each episode, seeing aspects in different ways than I've previously thought. Great job with this episode. It's another one of my favorites (mid-first season is just amazing, IMO). I've always loved Witness b/c Lois really, finally, acknowledges that she needs Clark. She lets her vulneralbility show. And Clark completely steps up to bat. What is it about Lois Lane? Never have I had to save one person so many times- let alone so many times in just a few months. She's a magnet for trouble.
Most of the time she doesn't let it faze her. Strange man dressed in Spandex eats a bomb in front of her? No problem. Rogue government agent throws her out of a plane? Great, here's her next front page story. Really loved this part and how it's written . Another wonderful job, Laura
"Where's Clark?" "Right here."
...two simple sentences--with so much meaning.
~Lois and Clark in 'House of Luthor'~
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Blogger
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Blogger
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Is there anything this guy is not afraid of? How does he get up and leave the apartment very morning when he is afraid of everything? Every situation, every emotion, every possibility leaves him terrified to some degree. You're describing an agoraphobic person. You're lacking the insight that lets him deal with those fears. Don't tell me it's his love for Lois. His love for her is the cause of the fears. Where is the "thing" that keeps him from locking the door and pulling the blinds and never leaving that apartment? In my mind it's a very simple "thing," but I'm the reader.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2010
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RJS,
I think you need to go back and re-read this post. Clark is scared, but he is scared for Lois, how upset she is and how close he came to not rescuing her. She almost died at Finn's hands in this instance.
Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks" My stories can be found herekj
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Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
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Thanks Ken! You're lacking the insight that lets him deal with those fears. Ouch... thanks for busting my bubble there RJS. I don't think Clark is agoraphobic in the least. Let's put it in perspective. I've written 13 of these vignettes. 3 of them deal with fear- this one, Vulnerable and Terrified. This one deals with fear for Lois' safety, and there's all of a very short paragraph stating about a fear of Clark's own. Now, if it was me and someone came very very close to killing someone I loved, chances are I would want to hurt that person- at least in the heat of the moment, which was what I wrote as Clark's fear. We know from the series that he also worries about Lois' safety, especially in this episode. Vulnerable is Clark dealing with the discovery of Kryptonite. If you've never experienced pain before (or at least not for a very long time), suddenly finding something that can hurt you has to be a bit scary. As for the ending, well, there's a lot of first responders in my family- mainly firefighters and police officers. Every single one of them will tell you that when they first started in their chosen careers, they had to deal with the possibility of getting hurt on just about every call. After a while they stop thinking about it, or they can't do their jobs effectively. I put that into my story, as why would Superman be immune? Terrified is Clark dealing with the fact that he's lost his memory. You have to admit, losing all knowledge of yourself, everything around you, your *life* has to be scary. Why don't you try putting yourself into the characters shoes for a few minutes? He's not an emotionless robot. Even Superman has to get scared sometimes. Wasn't that pretty much the entire basis of him breaking up with Lois in Contact, for example? I'm sorry you're not enjoying the series I'm writing, but rather than making an author feel bad about their writing, you could try just not reading it.
"It means never having to play it cool about how much you like something. It's basically a license to proudly emote on a somewhat childish level rather than behave like a supposed adult. Being a geek is extremely liberating."- Simon Pegg
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,082 |
Don't let a minority opinion discourage you from writing the stories and characterization that you see fit. It's clear from the feedback on your stories that there are many people who enjoy your work - continue to write for them and for yourself.
You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie.
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Joined: Oct 2013
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Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
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Thanks, Groobie I love how supportive the majority of this fandom is of each other. It's wonderful to see. I appreciate the kind words I've gotten from everyone, thank you all. Feli
"It means never having to play it cool about how much you like something. It's basically a license to proudly emote on a somewhat childish level rather than behave like a supposed adult. Being a geek is extremely liberating."- Simon Pegg
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Joined: Apr 2011
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
But with three attempts on Lois' life in as many days, the law of averages is catching up, even with me around. As someone mentioned, even though Lois has been on the edge of death many times (so far) in S1 during Witness is the closest she's come. Doesn't Clark have to give her mouth to mouth after scaring Mr. Make-Up from her apartment? All those other times, about to be exploded by a bomb, falling through the air, etc., she isn't physically hurt... Clark/Superman can save her in the nick of time. So those other times don't feel quite as real as seeing someone with his hands wrapped around Lois's neck, choking the air out of her. Almost being too late. If Clark hadn't walked her home the night before, she would have been shot. Fact. And even though, Clark kept watch all night, he still was almost too late. It seems to me that, of course, those fears (of arriving too late) must have occurred to Clark and make him extra scared for her, during this time. Is empathy a weakness? Lex Luthor would have us think so. Clark caring for others is what makes him try harder, even to the point of wanting to save Lex (and reveal his identity to Lois) in HoL when he sees Luthor falling from the Penthouse. It's when we care for others that we all show our true heroism. I love that she came to me when Trevino threatened her. I love that she feels safe with me. And I'll always do my best to make sure she's safe. It's also a turning point in their relationship because it's Clark Lois turns to for help, not Superman. It's the first time she sees Clark as a hero. I think it might have been a good thing she asked me to stay. If I had caught Finn... I don't know what I would've done. That in itself scares me a little. I'm used to being in control. I *have* to be in control. It's too easy for me to damage everything and everyone around me if I'm not. You bring up a good point here. While Clark is allowed (certainly) to get angry, he cannot allow himself to be overcome by it. He is the ultimate control freak, because he knows if he were ever to lose control -- especially in the heat of anger -- someone could get hurt. It shows how much fortitude Clark must have to not hide himself away from others, but to help them, despite this fear. Another great view into the insight of Clark's mind. Keep 'em coming, Feli. Unless, of course, you need to concentrate on your A Week in Paris story. I'm sure, we'd all understand.
Last edited by VirginiaR; 06/10/15 12:45 PM. Reason: Place word in wrong spot.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,831 Likes: 42 |
I am with you Goobie, Feli, keep writing!
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Sep 2013
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Definitely Laura
"Where's Clark?" "Right here."
...two simple sentences--with so much meaning.
~Lois and Clark in 'House of Luthor'~
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Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 825
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
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Posts: 825 |
Thanks everyone! Don't worry, I haven't given up. I'm a little stuck on the next story in this series (I blame Illusions of Grandeur... ugh), but I refuse to let this RJS person stop me from writing. Keep 'em coming, Feli. Unless, of course, you need to concentrate on your A Week in Paris story. I'm sure, we'd all understand. Patience Actually, I just sent another chapter of A Week in Paris off to be beta'd. A long chapter Feli
"It means never having to play it cool about how much you like something. It's basically a license to proudly emote on a somewhat childish level rather than behave like a supposed adult. Being a geek is extremely liberating."- Simon Pegg
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