Wow. 'Wow' is a great word for this chapter
.
I read this part quickly really late the other night, and then read it again (a lot slower) tonight. Taking it in.
It almost feels like 'reality' is setting in. Lois has had some contact with Clark. They've seen each other, talked a bit. 'Life'--whatever it is right now with everyone sorta living together--is moving on. And just what that really entails is starting to sink in for Lois. That 'wonder' of getting to see Clark again, getting to speak to him, has passed and she's starting to get a glimpse into how it really is going to be right now.
Everywhere she turns, she is confronted by the ghosts of what she’s done, so that she cannot sleep, cannot breathe, cannot see how she will ever survive the coming of morning.
This was hauntingly beautiful. The frustration with the night--with confronting herself--was written really well.
And this bit here:
She hates him. Lois decides that when the night is darkest and the morning seems furthest away. She hates him for being so good and noble and selfless and ridiculously accepting. Doesn’t he know that he should get mad? Doesn’t he realize that he’d feel so much better if he fought back instead of just gave in? (Doesn’t he know her well enough to know she needs something to blame him for?)
Especially the second sentence...when feeling like she will never survive the night alone. The war going on in her mind, in her heart. Her mental play-by-play of four long months and the last few crazy days.
Of course he will not let her hate him or blame him or find any reason at all to think she did the right thing four months ago, coming back from Smallville with his secret clutched in her greedy hands.
-And-
She’d stopped seeing him when she’d felt Trask’s hand curling around her neck and heard Clark’s voice transmogrify into Superman’s, and as soon as she’d gotten back to Metropolis, she’d made sure no one else would ever see Clark again, and now he is Superman with the ghost of Clark Kent inhabiting his body and leaving him less than he was before.
Smallville Info--so Trask threatened Clark with Lois' safetly, and 'Superman' came out. Hmmm. But you'd think that Clark admitting his Secret/Lois figuring out his secret--to keep Lois safe--would make her want to protect that secret (afterall, he told it, or acted as he did
because of her)? Need-More-Info, Anti-K. Stat!
.
She feels like she sleeps all the time (a mindless, numb haze that follows her everywhere she goes), but she never feels rested, and as ridiculous as it sounds, she is so tired of being tired.
I LOVE this sentence. Not sure why, but I absolutely love it. Great job
!
“It’s not for a story!” she gasps. And she can’t be mad. Not at him. Not for this. Not after what she did. “I…I’m on a leave of absence. I’m not here to write anything, and I won’t. Ever. Nothing of what I see or…or hear…or anything…here. I promise.” Her heart skips a beat, flutters in her chest like a moth trying to beat its way through to freedom even as its efforts leave it bruised and dying. “I promise,” she repeats, forlornly (because why should he believe her?).
A muscle tics in his jaw, and then his mask falls away and he breaks her stare. She thinks he is contrite. She thinks he is sorry for his suspicion. But if he is, he does not apologize for it. Just gives a slight nod (accepting her promise, and now there is another goal springing to life inside her, a commitment to this promise she has made him and that he is trusting).
Big exchange. I'm glad this slipped out of Lois the way that it did. Not planned. It came out with that need to reassure him...and herself. Clark's lack of responding--but big clues with body language--seemed to show it was effective. Just getting that whole 'reporter' thing out of the way between them with information during these coming days seemed to be needed.
“Hey, James,” Clark says, and he grins at his friend. And it’s only then, as Lois looks at the man before her (Superman transformed into Clark Kent with no more than a single expression), that she realizes that all the smiles he (this stranger between the two) has been offering her aren’t true smiles at all. They’re pale imitations. Cheap knock-offs. Smiles that prove he is glad to see her (or at least, polite enough to pretend he is), but smiles that are guarded. Wary. Waiting for the other shoe to drop (for the next article to hit the newsstands).
Ironically, Groobie, this was my least favorite part
. It was written amazingly, Anti-K, but boy did it show a LOT! Pain. Problems. Work To Do. The Distance between them. It phyically hurt to read this part because instantly you
knew how deep all of this is between them. How their friendship has been almost severed. You started to (well, I did, anyway
) go back, rethink their encounters so far, and think how much less 'real' they really were. Huge turning point, this paragraph. Loved it, but...ouch!
.
“I’m not,” she whispers through stiff lips, her anger evaporated like steam before a breath of cold air. “I’m not a threat.”
“Smooth,” Jimmy says. It’s such an incongruous statement (a word that sounds foreign coming from this businessman he’s become; a slang term that doesn’t fit the moment at all), except for the wink he throws her, the twinkle in his eyes, the smile hidden in the corners of his mouth.
I never thought I'd ever get so much joy from a Jimmy 'Smooth' bit of dialog.
Perfect, Anti-K. There is still a bit of Jimmy deep down in James. Loved this!
As always, counting down the days till a new post
Laura
