Disclaimer: All recognisable characters, story lines etc. are property of DC Comics, Warner Bros and December 3rd Productions. I'm just playing with them
Author's note: This is set near the end of Church of Metropolis, after Lois' dance with Perry but before the infamous dancing-on-air scene.
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I told Perry that I could never lose Clark, but I'm pretty sure I could.
For the first time, I have a serious rival for Clark's affections. He's out there, dancing with her right now.
Mayson Drake.
I shouldn't be watching them, but I can't seem to help myself.
He looks happy.
He deserves to be happy, and God knows, I haven't brought him much in the way of happiness.
I'm well aware that Clark loves me. His retraction that day in front of the Planet didn't fool me... well, not for very long anyway.
I love him too.
But I also love Superman. It's crazy- as Superman himself pointed out, I hardly know him- but nevertheless, it's true. And until I can sort that out, there can't be a future for Clark and I as anything but friends.
Clark doesn't do anything by halves and I suspect- I know- that that includes love. If we were to have a romantic relationship, he'd expect me to be able to love him as much as he loves me.
He'd have the right to expect it, and I just can't do that, not yet.
Some days, that's the only thing that stops me from grabbing him and kissing him senseless.
It might be selfish and arrogant, but I thought Clark would be there, waiting, when I finally figured things out. He is an incredibly patient man, but I guess even his patience has limits.
The poets have it wrong. Unrequited love doesn't last. If love isn't returned, it will eventually fade and die, and I worry that what I see between Clark and Mayson Drake is the beginning of the end of his love for me.
Because if he does fall for her, that will be the end of Clark and I. She's not the type to sit by or play hard to get. If he wanted her, she'd welcome him with open arms.
Clark and I wouldn't even be friends any more, or at least not like we are now.
The thought is like a rock in my chest, making it hard to breathe and forcing me to blink back tears.
I can't lose him, but I can't give Superman up for him either.
What is wrong with me? What kind of person is in love with two people at the same time?
Maybe he's better off with Mayson.
One thing's for certain. If I lose Clark, it will be my own fault.
