Disclaimer: All recognisable characters etc. are property of DC Comics, Warner Bros and December 3rd Productions
Author's note: This is set during The Prankster, the morning after Lois spends the night on Clark's couch.
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Am I really that transparent?
Do I show my love for Lois Lane so openly that even Jimmy has noticed? Jimmy, who only notices things when they're presented with all the subtlety of a 2x4?
Does she know?
Sometimes I think she does.
...
Lately my relationship with Lois has been in a state of flux. Ever since the Kerth Awards dinner and our 'date', we've been dancing around each other, going two steps forward and one step back.
Sometimes it seems like a romantic relationship between us is inevitable... and at other times it seems incredibly remote. At times I think she feels it too, but then she withdraws and I second guess myself.
I desperately want more than just friendship with Lois, but it's scary too. I know beyond even the shadow of a doubt that I will always love her, but that's not enough. What if we started dating and it wasn't what she wanted? What if we broke up?
I'd lose her completely.
Right now, she feels comfortable with me, and safe. Safe enough to arrive on my doorstep in the middle of the night and stay, even if she waited for me to offer instead of asking outright if she could.
I want her to feel safe with me.
...
Sitting on my couch last night, I think I could have kissed her. But it wouldn't have been right. She was scared and vulnerable, the moment a product of an emotionally charged conversation. I wouldn't- couldn't- take advantage of her like that.
That's why I'm back to teasing her this morning. This is what we do. We get close, she pulls away, and I do my best to get our relationship back to our easy friendship. Two steps forward, one step back. Sometimes two steps back.
One day our little dance will change. Until then, I'm willing to let her call the tune.
