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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
So, one of my betas, KenJ, was helpful enough to explain to me that heartbeats are not really a 'thumping' noise, but after typing a couple 'lub-dub, lub...dubs,' I shrugged, said to myself, 'Artistic license covers a lot, and anyway, who knows how Superman processes sounds after all,' and there you have it. The full and very detailed story behind why the heartbeats in this chapter are more Poe, less science. I hope you can all shrug with me and enjoy the chapter.  PS. Sorry, Ken! 
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 54
Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 54 |
Great chapter. Very well written. Shows how human Clark really is
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,883
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 3,883 |
Not a problem. As I always say, any comment I make is just a suggestion. You are the author. What you say, goes. It is your story after all.
Herb replied, “My boy, I never say … impossible.” "Lois and Clarks" My stories can be found herekj
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,425 Likes: 1
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,425 Likes: 1 |
Oh no! Poor Jonathan!  Another roller coaster of a part. At least it looks like Martha is probably going to be OK, and Lois and Clark have broken down another major barrier between then. One line I found interesting: He will want to see James, to reassure his friend that there was nothing he could do (it is not James, after all, who should have been there to save their parents) (Emphasis added.) "Their," not "his." This single word shows just how much James has become part of the family. Well done. Of course, I really should be saying "well done" for every word in this part -- and every part thus far -- but that might get a little too fan-girlish, so I'll settle for just praising the choice of this one word instead. Joy, Lynn
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,724 Likes: 1
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,724 Likes: 1 |
This was one of the best chapters yet. It's so true that while Superman is invulnerable is some ways, what we love about him is that he is human. He has emotional needs. His parents and their love for each other is such an intergral part of him. I loved him listening to their heart beats - that was a great way to convey the situation. I loved this line: “They don’t want Superman. They want Clark--they love Clark--and Clark is--” It was touching to see Lois acknowledge him as Clark while he felt so isolated being Superman. You've conveyed so well that Clark has lost his voice. I hope Lois can help him find it. I'm hoping the nation might react to his tragedy in a way to help that process. Poor Jonathan! I hope he makes it! Joan
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,357
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,357 |
This was so hard for me to read, not because of the parents but because I was connecting to the loss of friends and a loss of reality that was coming from Clark. In my RL, I had a friend basically cut me out of their life during what was becoming a difficult time (in part because of other's perceptions of my children). The fact that Lois was able to reach out to Clark at his most vulnerable despite being the one to "cut" him (in a way that my friend kind of did) was both difficult and lovely to read.
CLARK: No. I'm just worried I'm a jinx.
JONATHAN: A jinx?
CLARK: Yeah. Let's face it, ever since she's known me, Lois's been kidnapped, frozen, pushed off buildings, almost stabbed, poisoned, buried alive and who knows what else, and it's all because of me.
-"Contact" (You're not her jinx, you're her blessing.)
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 719
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: May 2003
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This is incredible and painful. Terribly amazingly wonderful.
Silence is violence. End white supremacy based violence
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
No one can torment Clark as you do, Anti-K. They’re talking about Superman. About the way he strode in through the door with two broken bodies and begged the doctors to do anything, everything, something to save them.
They’re talking about him.
They’re talking about him talking.
His parents are dying (one heartbeat slowing to a near-stop, the other blurring forward into oblivion), and all these people surrounding him can think about, all they care about, is the fact that Superman has broken his long, impenetrable silence. It's so sad that in his misery, he has to hear everyone's critical gossip about Superman. As if Superman has to be above personal pain. Thank goodness that he has Lois to reassure him that his feelings and actions are allowed and valid (well, except for his all-consuming guilt for not saving his folks form the earthquake). Sadly, though, this means James's plans to disconnect Superman from Clark Kent won't be able to come to fruition. Sad, too, that he's still trying to hold on to those last frayed threads he created: “Clark, you did every--”
“I’m Superman now!” he exclaims, and it would be a roar, a scream of defiance, if he were not holding himself so resolutely beneath the tempo of those beats. “I save hundreds of people every day--I should have been Superman for them!” Yea for Lois not baking down and letting the truth make her weak when Clark needs her to be strong enough for the 2 of them. Lois swallows. Opens her mouth. Shuts it. Swallows again. She does not look away. Does not let him look away. And then, like steel (like she is not afraid of him at all), she says, “They don’t want Superman. They want Clark--they love Clark--and Clark is--”
“Their son,” he says, and the words, spoken out loud, slice through everything he has managed to reclaim. They leave him weak and quivering and broken again. “I’m their son, and I didn’t even know they were in danger.” Nobody did. Isn't better if Superman isn't all-knowing as well as all-strong? By the time the surgeon finally comes out of the operating room, Clark is sure that an entire eternity has passed. By the time the surgeon finishes speaking, Clark wishes he could have that eternity back. Oh, dear. That's not good.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Posts: 1,357
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,357 |
As I'm reading this, I'm reminded of the rant from Perry (at Jimmy at the time) where he says that the public needs to see their heroes at their most vulnerable so that they can feel like their heroes are human. I'm thinking about the speech from "Metallo." As I read the script, though, that's not quite what Perry said (although the circumstances are a bit different so I guess that's the reason for it). I still think it's likely that Perry would accept it and publish it.
I'm speculating, but I'm betting Lois is going to write another article at some point (whether it's with Clark's blessing or not, I don't know.) About a certain Clark Kent known to the world as "Superman." It will be interesting to see what happens afterwards.
CLARK: No. I'm just worried I'm a jinx.
JONATHAN: A jinx?
CLARK: Yeah. Let's face it, ever since she's known me, Lois's been kidnapped, frozen, pushed off buildings, almost stabbed, poisoned, buried alive and who knows what else, and it's all because of me.
-"Contact" (You're not her jinx, you're her blessing.)
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Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 6,142 Likes: 3 |
<readies nebulizer, just in case Anti-K causes me to stop breathing> Two heartbeats. Well, that's...something. Hope it stays that way! “Stay with me. Don’t go. I need you. Don’t leave me all alone. Stay.”  They’re talking about him talking. It's really bad when *this* is the biggest news going around... They know his Secret, but they don’t know anything, not really, and he is still just as hidden, just as masked and anonymous, as he’s always been. They are standing or walking through or sitting in the same room with him, and they do not see him. They do not care. They do not understand. But Lois *does* Clark. So does Jimmy. Please, lean on them... and in their arms he is alive, and in their hearts he is a man worthy of love, and in their eyes he can believe that he belongs here, even if only for them, for their sakes. So sad. So beautiful. And then Lois turns the corner and she is coming toward him. Good. “I’m Superman now!” he exclaims, and it would be a roar, a scream of defiance, if he were not holding himself so resolutely beneath the tempo of those beats. “I save hundreds of people every day--I should have been Superman for them!” Dagger...meet my heart. “When my spaceship came down,” he says, quietly, in a monotone (because anything else will send him crashing into that endless chasm), “Mom and Dad were driving down an old country road. All they saw was a falling star, a dropped meteor. They could have just kept driving, could have looked back on it as nothing more than an interesting anecdote. But they didn’t. They stopped, and they looked for me, and when they found a defenseless baby in a UFO, they kept me. They…knew…somehow. Knew enough to go looking. Loved me enough to take me in and never seem to regret it even when it became obvious I’m not normal. They knew I needed them…and I should have known when they needed me. I should have…I should have known.” Instead, she does what he needs most *nods* Awwww! By the time the surgeon finally comes out of the operating room, Clark is sure that an entire eternity has passed. By the time the surgeon finishes speaking, Clark wishes he could have that eternity back. Um...this chapter is defective. It doesn't tell us exactly what happened. We're supposed to know if they'll really be okay or not. This is cruel and unusual punishment! You CAN'T stop there! Lovely chapter. I loved the insight into Clark's emotions and the way that Lois is there to help him, in probably his greatest hour of need. And, of course, that despite everything, he still loves her. Now, please stop torturing us and post more.
Battle On,
Deadly Chakram
"Being with you is stronger than me alone." ~ Clark Kent
"One little spark of inspiration is at the heart of all creation." ~ Figment the Dragon
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Joined: Dec 2003
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,082 |
Clark's humanity is on fully dispay here. I have to believe that anyone witnessing a devistated Superman being embraced in a supportive hug would have to emotionally connect to him, sympathize with him, see him as a man rather than a god in a cape. Though he hears them calling him Superman, those people in the waiting room must feel in their hearts that they are seeing Clark. And I think that hug is the most beautiful thing in this entire amazing story. Brava!
You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie. 
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966
Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 966 |
So sorry I'm late -- was spending time with m sister this weekend and didn't get away to find time to post the next chapter!  Thanks, AndyG! This chapter was one of my favorites after it was done, precisely because it really does show just how human Clark still is, despite having his 'humanity' taken away, so to speak. True, Ken, but I'm embarrassed to admit how many times you've had to point out that I might be getting just a bit too 'poetical' with certain things. Thanks for all your help! So glad you're still enjoying, Lynn! I did sneak in several references to James being a part of the family, usually through Clark's pov, because he really is. The Kent all rely on him and have accepted him into their circle -- which I really enjoy exploring! Thanks for being a reserved fangirl! Thank you so much, scifiJoan! You actually said something that made me cheer a bit -- that I conveyed just how much of his voice he'd lost. I have to admit, that's been one of the hardest parts of the story, trying to emphasize how isolating his silence is, but it's rather hard to convey properly. Reading your comment made me feel quite satisfied with all that work of rewriting bits, so thanks! So sorry to bring up bad times for you, Christina! I did enjoy writing this scene, because it was one of the few times Lois and Clark have actually been brutally honest to each other, without the polite lies between, and that is raw and messy -- but as you pointed out, a good thing. I hope you were able to eventually get your friend back. Also, no spoilers about any forthcoming articles! Thanks, L! Glad you're enjoying! I shall take it as a compliment, VirginiaR, that I can torment Clark. The poor thing probably wishes I had never discovered L&C! I liked that Lois didn't let her guilt break her down this time either -- as I was writing the scene, I almost wondered if she'd back off, but she didn't, making it one of my favorite scenes to write! Oh dear, I hope I didn't affect you THAT badly, DC, but I'm glad you were ready just in case! Yes, Clark did admit that he loves Lois. He tried very hard to pretend he didn't, but all his shields are down right now.  Still, Lois was there for him, and as you said, he can lean on her and James. Sorry that you got a defective chapter -- hopefully the next one will correct some of it! Aww, thanks, groobie. Your encouraging comments about the way the world sees Superman have made sure that I don't get TOO bleak in this story (don't laugh; it could have been a lot darker!). I love the hug, too! Thanks for your patience, everyone! I'll try to be more punctual!
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Joined: Sep 2013
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,466 |
Speaking of being punctual, I am extremely, utterly, completely behind--and unpunctual --in my FDK, but wanted to say that I am definitely (you couldn't stop me if you tried  ) here, still reading, and still loving this story. RL--argh  . This chapter was simply beautiful, Anti-K. One of my favorites. I think you said it in your FDK response, and to repeat here, it was so touching because finally there was honesty between Lois and Clark. Even though Clark is still trying to convince himself that Superman is who and what he needs/has to be, this situation--what his parents are going through as they cling to life in surgery--caused him to be himself. Be Clark, their son. Their scared to death, completely guilt-ridden son. And Lois reacted. She didn't think things through, she didn't analyze what to do, how to react to Clark. She was needed, she had to be strong, she followed her instincts. It was beautiful to see them drawn to each other, both needing the other--despite everything that has happened to draw them apart. The writing was so well done, Anti-K  ... Laura (who will be enjoying catching up  )
"Where's Clark?" "Right here."
...two simple sentences--with so much meaning.
~Lois and Clark in 'House of Luthor'~
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