Author's note: This is set during TOGOM, just before Clark's return from the 'dead'.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, recognisable plot points etc. I'm just playing with them
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Clark Kent is dead.
Everything I wanted, everything I've worked for, is gone.
What do I do now?
...
I had no choice but to let Clark die. After being shot in the chest at close range in front of so many witnesses, what else could I do? It's one thing to contemplate telling one, trusted person about my secret, and quite another to let a group of strangers find it out.
I think that if I'd gone to her last night, I could have told Lois the truth- that mere bullets can't hurt me. That her partner and friend still lived. Perhaps I even should have told her. But it seemed cruel, somehow. With no way out, I couldn't see a benefit to her knowing. She's better off thinking that Clark is dead than knowing I'm alive and can't return to my former life.
I still have Superman, but as I told my parents, that's not how I want to live my life. Superman isn't a part of this world, not really. He appears when needed and then flies away. He can't have a normal life; can't form close friendships, can't have a relationship, can't even do something as normal and everyday as going and seeing a movie.
Being Superman all day, every day isn't living. It's existing.
I want my life back.
I want to be able to listen to Perry's infinite fund of Elvis stories. I want to be interrupted in the middle of something important by Jimmy with his uncanny and unfortunate sense of timing. I want to argue story ideas with Lois and edit her copy. All the day to day things that Superman can't do.
I want to be Clark Kent.
In a strange way, I understand the regenerated gangsters. They've been given the means to relive their lives and they've seized that chance in the only way they know how. Thanks to Hamilton, they have a second chance.
Hamilton was their answer. Maybe, just maybe, he could also be mine.
