Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic Every Time We Say Goodbye (3/12)

Title: Every Time We Say Goodbye
Author: Sue S.
Rating: PG/PG13ish

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Previously:
Lois turned off her bedside lamp and then stared into the semi-darkness of her bedroom. She had hoped that talking to Clark would make her feel better, but now she felt even more miserable. It wasn't the fact that they'd fought -- she and Clark disagreed with each other on an almost hourly basis. But it had never felt this personal before. When Clark made all those wild accusations about Lex, it felt like a dig at her judgement.

What if Clark's right?

She quickly pushed that thought away. He couldn't be right. Lex was a powerful man, and she was willing to allow that he was probably ruthless in business, but killing people in his way? No. It just wasn't possible.

Oh, it's possible, her mind whispered. But is it plausible?

No. It wasn't plausible. Lex had countless ways to achieve his goals; he didn't need to kill people to achieve them. He certainly didn't need to kill Superman.

But, what if? her mind persisted. What if?

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Part 3/12

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The next two days felt like a horror movie in slow motion to Lois. Everything at work was in a constant uproar. Perry's replacement, Chip Peterson, was a humorless jerk with a vindictive streak. Anyone who expressed a differing opinion from Chip's found themselves abruptly reassigned to a less desirable story.

Still stinging from Clark's remarks about conflict of interest on the Excelsior story, Lois had brought it up the morning round table. Five minutes later she was removed from investigating Excelsior International and assigned to cover the upcoming school board elections. In the grand scheme of things Lois was pretty sure that even the dog show would have been more preferable.

Lex had shown up out of the blue just as the school board meeting was ending. It turned out his arrival was due to a scheduling mistake, but Lex had seized the moment and taken her to lunch. He hadn't pressed for her answer on his proposal, but there had been an undercurrent between them that had made her feel a bit uneasy. Or maybe that was Clark's fault, because as soon as the helicopter landed to whisk them away, her former partner's voice played over and over in her mind, whispering that Lex was manipulating her. Her imagination had run wild with that thought – if Lex was manipulating her, then maybe Clark was right about his ruthlessness.

All through lunch she had surreptitiously watched Lex, trying to decide if he was ruthless, or charming, or ruthlessly charming, or charmingly ruthless. She'd nearly choked on her drink when Lex invited her to go away with him over the upcoming weekend.

"I, uh, I …," she had sputtered in response. The thought of spending an entire weekend with Lex was rather overwhelming, especially since it sounded like they would be all alone on a private island. Was he planning to seduce her? That thought set off a little panic inside her. She wasn't sure if she was ready to take their relationship to that level. "Can I think about it and get back to you?"

"Of course," Lex had said reassuringly before leaving a soft kiss on the back of her hand. "I promise my intentions are honorable. We'll have the entire villa at our disposal. You will occupy one wing and I'll take the other, unless you'd rather I join you." Lex had given her a wink, but the best she could muster in response was an uncomfortable smile.

Later that same day Lex arrived at the Planet to meet with Chip and some other members of upper management. He'd come to her desk and presented her with a single red rose that set off a flurry of murmurs on the other side of the newsroom. If her co-workers hadn't known before that she was dating Lex, they certainly knew now. For the next hour she had fought the urge to squirm under the curious stares and scrutiny as people found a reason to walk past her desk and cast curious glances her way.

She'd fled the newsroom a little early and headed over to the Metropolitan School District offices to do some followup interviews. Twenty minutes later, Lex arrived to attend a meeting discussing sponsorships for the athletic programs at several schools. He'd asked her to dinner and she'd been so flustered that she accepted. He had promised it would be a quiet dinner at home, nothing fancy.

Even though Lex had said "nothing fancy," Lois still put on a dress for dinner. She suspected Lex's vision of low-key didn't include jeans or a pizza. She had guessed correctly. Lex was waiting for her as she stepped out of the elevator, dressed in an elegant suit that she was willing to bet cost half her salary.

The next day she had five more chance encounters with Lex. Each time he had been amused by how often they kept bumping into each other. He'd even suggested, with a twist of a smile, that maybe she was stalking him.

It was their last encounter that was the most disconcerting. Late that afternoon Lois was forty miles south of Metropolis doing legwork for a story on infrastructure (another one of Chip's retaliatory assignments). She broke into a cold sweat when she saw a limo turn in to the view area for the Palisades Parkway. She could countenance Lex showing up all over Metropolis, but if he was in that limo, it was officially going to be creepy. Sure enough, Owen popped out and opened the door for Lex.

"Darling!" Lex exclaimed. He crossed the macadam and kissed her cheek. "Whatever brings you here?"

"Work. What brings you here?"

"I'm considering buying some property in Franklin County and was on my way back to the city. Tell me, do you have plans for dinner tonight?"

The thought of spending another evening having to make small talk with Lex was exhausting. Lois shook her head and tried to appear appropriately dismayed as she lied, "Sorry, I'm having dinner with Lucy."

"Another time," Lex said with a smile.

"Sure."

Lex glanced at the underside of the bridge above them and then back at her. "I suppose I should let you get back to work."

"Yeah, you'd better. We have a new owner and he's very strict."

"Maybe you should consider a career change, then. I'm sure you could keep that new owner in line, should you wish it." His dark eyes met hers, bright with anticipation.

Lois gave him an uneasy smile. Was he suggesting she should quit her job after they got married?

Lex leaned forward, kissing her cheek again as he murmured, "I hope to hear your answer soon, my love."

"Um, yeah, I'm still thinking about it."

"I could not ask for more," he said gently. Then he winked and added, "Save an answer in the affirmative."

Lois swallowed hard. "Soon. I promise."

Lex smiled and gave her shoulder a light squeeze before walking away. She watched him get back in the limo, but she wasn't able to take a deep breath until it had driven onto the main road and disappeared into the distance.

There was a clear blue sky overhead, and she was now the only person at the view area, but Lois still felt almost trapped. She had to give Lex an answer -- and soon. She already knew what her answer should be, but it was going to be damn hard to give it.

When she got back to the office, she'd call Mrs. Cox and make an appointment to meet with Lex tomorrow. The thought of having to deal with Mrs. Cox made her stomach twist into a new knot. That woman didn't like her -- at all. Mrs. Cox was always so condescending and smug but apparently she was also good at her job.

As Lois drove back towards the city, her mind wandered to another source of anxiety. Clark had not called her last night. It didn't seem like him to hold a grudge, and she wondered if maybe she'd finally reached the limits of his patience. After all he had someone else to lavish his attention on now. She had only herself to blame, too. She'd known that Clark was sorta, kinda attracted to her when they first started working together. But she'd been more drawn to Superman, and then to Lex, so it shouldn't matter to her now that Clark had moved on.

But it did matter. It even hurt a little.

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It was almost eleven o'clock that night when her phone rang. Lois snatched it up quickly and offered a rather breathless and hopeful, "Hello?"

"Greetings from Hawaii." Clark didn't sound all that excited.

"Hawaii? I thought you were in Florida." Lois sat down on the edge of her bed as relief flooded through her. She didn't care if he was calling from Hawaii or Havana; she was just happy to hear from him.

"Yesterday afternoon I was informed that my flight was leaving in two hours. So now I'm in Hawaii."

"Are you really working? Or on an extended vacation?"

"I'm supposed to be covering a surfing contest tomorrow. Really, I'm starting to wonder if the next stop will be Siberia."

Lois giggled and Clark added, "You're laughing? I'm serious."

"I know; that's why I'm laughing. Lex wouldn't really send you to Siberia. I'm thinking he'd find something in North Korea for you instead."

Clark laughed and she closed her eyes to savor the sound of it.

"I miss you," she whispered.

"What?"

"I'll miss you," she corrected. "After you've been hauled off to a re-education camp, I'll miss you."

"I'm sure that will be a great solace to me, in the event."

They both fell silent but it didn't feel uncomfortable. She could picture Clark perfectly, lying on another motel bed with a hideously ugly comforter. His legs were stretched out, his shoes off, and his tie was askew. He probably had the television on, but the volume was muted while they talked. This time, she hoped, his room had come with a remote for the TV.

"So I made an appointment to have lunch with Lex tomorrow," she told him.

"You have to make an appointment for that? You can't just call him?"

Lois thought darkly that, given the past couple of days, all she had to do was wait long enough and Lex would show up. But there was no way she'd tell Clark and run the risk of having to listen to another round of wild accusations about Lex. There was a huge difference between being attentive and killing people, no matter what Clark might have to say about it.

"He's a busy man. Don't you want to know why I'm having lunch with him?"

"I don't know, do I?"

"Play nice, Clark, or I'm hanging up the phone."

"Okay. Why are you having lunch with him?"

"I'm going to tell him I can't marry him."

"You are?" Clark sounded as if he'd sat up fast.

"I've been thinking about what you said about picturing myself with him for the rest of my life. I've tried to imagine what that would be like, but I just can't. He's exciting to be around but I never feel totally comfortable around him. He asked me to go with him to some private island for the weekend but the more I thought about going, the weirder it felt. What the heck am I supposed to do with Lex Luthor on a private island for the whole weekend?"

When Clark didn't answer immediately Lois blushed as she added, "That was a rhetorical question, by the way. I can't even joke around with him, much less, uh, think about him in that way. The thing is, we have all these high-minded discussions but we never really talk. The idea of spending the entire weekend with him is kind of exhausting. I'd feel like I always had to be on my best behavior, you know? I can't imagine casually hanging out with Lex. I can't even picture him wearing anything other than an expensive suit. He's not a jeans and t-shirt kind of guy."

Clark made an amused snuffling sound. "Not even remotely. Do you think he wears a tailored suit to bed?"

Lois couldn't help laughing at that mental image. "Oh gawd! I bet he does. Maybe I should go with him this weekend and find out."

"Let's just assume that he does and call it good."

She shook her head and grinned, loving that Clark had just given her the perfect opening to tease him back. "Those are some extremely poor journalistic ethics, Kent."

"I'm pretty sure I learned those ethics from you, Lane."

"Ha. Good luck getting that one to stand up in a court of law." Lois giggled and flopped backwards across her bed, leaving her lower legs to dangle over the edge. "So how's your hotel room? Any roaches?"

"Not so far. In fact, this hotel is slightly nicer than the one in Miami."

"Does it have a remote control for the television?"

"It does. And it even works. Too bad I can't say the same thing for the air conditioning."

"Eh, just open a window and sleep in the nude."

Clark laughed. "It's a good thing I have you or I'd never figure these things out on my own."

Lois swallowed hard as her imagination flirted with the possibility that Clark was already following her advice. She tried to distract herself from her vaguely impure, and rather indefensible, thoughts by asking, "Do you think Superman wears his suit to bed?"

There was the smallest of pauses before Clark said, "I have it on good authority that he doesn't sleep in the suit."

"What about the cape?"

Clark made a low chuckle that tickled in her ear. "He doesn't sleep in the cape either."

"How do you know? Have you asked him?"

"Sorry, I've been sworn to secrecy on the subject."

"Oh, come on!" Lois wheedled as she sat up. "Tell me. I'll never tell anyone."

"Tell you what?"

"What Superman sleeps in, duh."

"Maybe he doesn't need to sleep."

Lois groaned in frustration. "You really aren't going to tell me, are you?"

"Nope."

She shook her head. "It's because you don't know either. You're just making it up to mess with me."

"You're probably right." His tone was dry, and her eyes narrowed in annoyance that Clark was teasing her about Superman's choice of pajamas. The man never ran out of ways to needle her.

"Okay, if you won't tell me what Superman wears to bed, then you have to tell me who your mystery woman is."

"If I haven't told you by now, maybe you should take the hint."

"Melody?"

"From the newsstand in the lobby? Nope."

"Okay, what about the blonde over on the foreign desk? Denise? Danielle?"

"Darlene works on the foreign desk, and you only get one guess a day, Lois."

"Says who?"

"Says me."

"Fine. But I didn't talk to you yesterday, so I get a guess for then, too. Darlene."

"It's not Darlene."

"Give me another hint."

"I don't think so."

She could hear the smile in his voice. Clark was lucky he was so damn far away or she could have happily given him a dead arm for being so smugly unreasonable.

"Oh, come on!"

"You can have another guess tomorrow."

"And what if something happens to me before then?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Anything could happen, right? You're the one who says I'm a danger to myself."

"I've never said you were a danger to yourself."

"You've implied it."

"I worry about you, so sue me."

Lois was caught off-guard by a warm flood of happiness in her chest that he would actually admit to worrying about her. It felt great to know that he cared.

"I think it's nice that you worry about me," she told him as that happy feeling continued to bubble inside her.

"Is there any particular reason I should be worried?"

"No. Not really."

"Not really? So there might be?"

"No. I just think --" Lois stopped abruptly, cutting herself off from speculating out loud that Lex might be following her. She couldn't really prove it, after all.

"You think?" Clark prompted.

Tell him her conscience whispered. He's probably the only person in the world who'll actually believe you.

Lois wavered, then decided to go with a partial truth. "I think maybe Owen is following me."

"You're not sure? Owen is pretty hard to miss."

"Maybe it was just a coincidence." It wasn't, and she knew it, but her pride didn't want to admit it.

"If you see him again, let me know."

Lois rolled her eyes. "And what are you going to do from five thousand miles away?"

"I…" Clark hesitated and then sighed. "I don't know."

There was another short pause and she was positive that Clark was running his fingers through his hair like he did whenever he was tense or nervous. She definitely shouldn't tell him about Lex's sudden penchant for crossing her path. There was nothing Clark could do about it, and she didn't want to give him any more fuel for his paranoia.

"Please don't worry about me," she whispered. Lois cleared her throat and spoke a bit more forcefully. "I'll be fine. And, besides, if Owen tries anything, I'll just yell for Superman."

"Make sure you meet with Luthor somewhere crowded for lunch tomorrow. And promise me you won't go anywhere alone with him or Owen."

For a moment she felt indignant -- how stupid did Clark think she was? "It's a good thing I have you or I'd never figure these things out on my own," she told him tartly.

"I mean it, Lois. Be careful."

She felt a twinge of regret for her tone. After all, giving her advice was pretty much the only thing Clark could do right now. Given how overprotective he could be sometimes it must be killing him to be so far away.

"For your information, we'll be having lunch at Cooper's Deli. Is that crowded enough for you?"

"Yes."

Clark sounded tired, maybe even a little sad, and Lois clutched the phone tighter, hating that it was probably time to say good-bye. They had to be racking up a huge phone bill. Given the Planet's current resource crunch she didn't want to get Clark in trouble.

"I guess I should let you go now," she said reluctantly. "Will you call again tomorrow night?"

"Sure. Unless I end up in a re-education camp."

"Then you'd better behave yourself."

"I'll try. Good night, Lois."

Several seconds passed as she waited to hear the click, but there wasn't one. She couldn't hear breathing, so she cautiously asked, "Clark?"

"Yeah?"

"Aren't you going to hang up?"

"You first."

Her throat tightened. Everything in her didn't want to cut the tenuous tie between them. All the frustrations of the past few days were still roiling inside her. But if she didn't hang up soon she'd start confessing, and she wasn't sure she'd be able to stop with admitting that Lex might be stalking her. No, she'd end up telling Clark that she was the teensiest bit jealous that he was in love with someone else. It wasn't necessarily that she wanted him to be in love with her (although, what was wrong with her that he didn't want her?) but Clark's having a girlfriend would mean the end of their late night conversations. Sooner or later she was going to lose his undivided friendship and the loss was more painful than she could bear.

Lois sucked in a breath, steeling herself to say good-bye. Her gaze landed on her bedroom window. Through the filmy curtains she could see the bright glow of the moon. She wondered if Clark was looking on that same moon. Somehow that would make it seem like they weren't so far apart.

"Can you see the moon?" she asked quietly.

"No," he answered, just as softly. "It's not even five o'clock here yet. Maybe, in a few hours…" His voice trailed away as if he, too, sensed just how far apart they were right now.

"It's almost full tonight," she told him. "When I was a little, I remember my mom reading me a story about a girl who swallowed the moon."

"How do you swallow the moon?"

"She did it when the moon was new, so it was really small. But, as the story went along, the moon got bigger and bigger and the little girl floated up into the sky. She was able to see everything, all the people that she loved, all at the same time."

"So it's not the man in the moon, but a little girl?"

"Yeah, something like that."

"That's a good story."

"I haven't thought about it in years," Lois mused as she smiled at the moon. "But I do remember wishing I could float up high enough that I could see everything and everyone."

"Mmm, yeah. That would be amazing."

"Do you think if I asked Superman he'd take me to see Metropolis from really high up some night?"

"I think you could ask him for just about anything and he'd do it."

"Really? Why? Has he said something to you?"

"No. That's just me talking."

Lois chuffed out a laugh. "Well, I appreciate your optimism." She tilted her head so she could see the moon better through the gap in the curtains. "Honestly, though, I don't think I could ask him."

"Why not?"

"It would feel… odd, I guess, to be that alone with him. Not that I don't trust him!" she hastily added. "But it would feel kind of weird. You were right when you said I don't really know Superman that well."

After several seconds of silence, Lois began to wonder if Clark had hung up. "You still there? Clark?"

"I'm here."

Lois swallowed hard, hating that she was about to lose him. And not just for tonight, but for real. When Clark returned he'd move on with his life -- a life in which she was just another co-worker. "I guess I should get to bed now."

"I guess so. Good night, Lois."

"Okay, well… G'night," she blurted out, mangling the words in her grief, before pushing 'end' to disconnect the call.

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Five thousand miles away in Hawaii, Clark still had the phone pressed to his ear. Everything in him ached to be flying at this moment, moving closer to Lois. It would take him seven or eight minutes, at most, to reach her. And then what? Did he really want to throw more fuel on the fire of her crush on Superman? Showing up at her apartment tonight was only possible if he did it as Superman. Sure, she said she wasn't entirely comfortable being alone with Superman but he had no doubt that even the slightest hint of interest on Superman's part would change her tune.

What if he gave in and started flirting with her as Superman? The idea was, as always, extremely tempting. But he couldn't do it. First of all, Superman wasn't real, so they couldn't have a real relationship if he was pretending to be someone else. And secondly, he feared what Luthor or someone else bent on destroying Superman might do if it was revealed that Lois Lane was involved with the superhero.

He could only safely love her as Clark. Her reluctance to hang up the phone tonight was giving him the smallest little hope that maybe, just maybe, she might feel a little something more than friendship for him. He'd wanted to shout for joy when she'd told him that she was going to turn Luthor down. And the reason she was turning him down had given Clark even more hope.

Friendship. She wanted friendship first. Lois wanted someone who made her feel comfortable. Someone she could simply hang out with, someone she could talk to. Me! he had thought as she explained why Luthor was so wrong for her. Why not me?

What if he flew back to Metropolis tonight and told her that Superman had brought him? That was believable, but also somewhat flimsy. If Owen was following her he probably wasn't her only tail. There might be someone else outside her building right now. If Clark Kent showed up there in the middle of the night it was bound to goad Luthor into attempting something more insidious than sending him to Hawaii. Not to mention that the last thing he wanted was to give Lex Luthor any reason to focus his attention on a link between Clark and Superman.

God, what was he going to do? A man as obsessive as Luthor wasn't going to take 'no' for an answer tomorrow. Even worse, Superman wasn't nearly as close by as Lois thought he was.

He had to go back. He couldn't be there as Clark, but he could be Superman. Maybe Luthor had actually done him a favor by sending him so far away. The six hour time difference between Hawaii and Metropolis meant that he could spend most of the day in Metropolis and still be back in Hawaii before the surfing competition began tomorrow afternoon.

Once his decision was made to return to Metropolis there was little sense in staying in Hawaii. He could put in a couple of Superman appearances tonight, just to remind Luthor that Lois wasn't entirely friendless. In a heartbeat his mind was made up and he was out of the hotel room, jogging down the hall to the back entrance. Half a minute later he had changed in an alley and was rocketing eastward.

Clark didn't stop until he was on the roof of Lois' building. He closed his eyes and listened, easily picking out the sound of her heartbeat. It was slow and steady and reassuring. He opened his eyes and did a slow sweep of the street below him. He didn't see Owen but he did catch a glint from a car halfway down the block. He looked closer and saw two men inside a dark-colored sedan. One of them was holding binoculars; the source of the glint that had caught his eye. Both men were dressed in dark clothing to blend in with the shadows. They could be police or FBI but Clark didn't think so. Neither of them had a badge, although both were armed.

The guns gave Clark pause. Was Luthor trying, in his own sick way, to keep Lois safe? Once the news got out that she was romantically linked with Lex Luthor she would become a target. Or was there some darker purpose behind their weapons?

Either way, he wanted them to know -- and report to their boss -- that he was here. Clark floated down to street level and took a seat on the bench across the street from Lois' building. He looked up at her darkened windows, and then over to the parked car. He couldn't see their faces clearly from this angle but he did see a shadowy movement inside the vehicle. He gave them a slow nod of acknowledgement and turned his face back to Lois' building.

A moment later his ears picked out the soft beeps and blurps as a cell phone was dialed. Clark listened intently as the call was answered.

"Yes?" A female voice, clipped and impatient.

"He's here," one of the men in the car said.

"What's he doing?"

Clark closed his eyes, focusing all his attention on the voice at the other end of the line. He knew her from somewhere...

"Just sitting outside her apartment."

"Does he know you're there?"

Clark couldn't help it, he instinctively turned his head, looking in the direction of the car again.

"Oh, yeah. He sees us."

The woman hung up abruptly and Clark let out a small sough of bitter recognition as he finally placed the voice. It was Mrs. Cox, Lex Luthor's personal assistant.

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End 3/12

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