Lois & Clark Fanfic Message Boards
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#268119 12/26/15 02:25 PM
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 1,020
Top Banana
OP Offline
Top Banana
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 1,020
So. This is the space to encourage her ...


KatherineKent/Victoria
Lois: "You put up with me for the same reason I put up with you. It's because I'm completely in love with you."
Clark: "And I love you ... Did we just make up?"
Lois: "I think so."
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,292
Kerth
Offline
Kerth
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 2,292
Overall, it's a pretty nice short story. You know exactly what you wanted to tell us, and you did so in a straight forward manner. I also like that there's a nice and happy ending.

Quote
That evening Lois spoiled the turkey and it looked like a black brick.
Charcoal chicken? Yep, that sounds like one of Lois' recipes. I'm surprised the Kents didn't get a visit from the Metropolis Fire Department.

Quote
Clark went out after decorating to get his wife's Christmas present, but he didn't know what to get for her.
Hush, there's a secret: Clark always knows what to get everybody, especially what he needs to get for Lois. Lois usually is the one being clueless. wink It's kind of canon, really.

Quote
He looked all over the city. The very last shop had the perfect thing.
You know, you could have told us a bit more about Clark's quest for finding the perfect present. Which kinds of shops did he look in? What were his ideas for presents, and why didn't he get them instead of the ring he finally bought? How did he get to the city, and from shop to shop, mall to mall?

And: Isn't it always the last shop that has exactly what you need? (It is, trust me. Because once you've found the right shop, you don't need to enter another one.)

What you need to remember when writing a story is that, unless you tell your readers something, they just don't know. Of course, if you write down just about every little detail, it makes for a long story - and thus a lot of work. wink

Last edited by Lara Joelle Kent; 12/26/15 02:57 PM.
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,194
Likes: 1
Top Banana
Offline
Top Banana
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,194
Likes: 1
Katherine, tell us your daughter's name (or pen name) so we can talk her her properly. smile

Thank you for sharing your story with us. Isn't it fun to I imagine what happens to our favorite characters after the show ended? I like this happy little family that you've given Lois and Clark. The great thing about writing is that you get to make up a story that you like (like finding the perfect gifts for each other), and then when you share it with us we all get to enjoy it together. I could tell how much Lois and Clark and Rosaline love each other. And the scene with the takeout was fun, too. Clark should have offered to cook that turkey. Or maybe he let Lois cook it because he really wanted takeout for dinner. wink




This *is* my happily ever after.
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,082
Kerth
Offline
Kerth
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,082
KKBG - Congratulations on writing another story! I liked reading about what everyone got for Christmas. I'm glad your story had a happy ending. smile


You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie. wink
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 917
Likes: 2
Features Writer
Offline
Features Writer
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 917
Likes: 2
What a sweet Christmas story. thumbsup I enjoyed seeing the search for perfect gifts, and finding out what they were. Looking forward to your next story!


Cuidadora

"Honey, we didn't care if you were a Russian or a Martian... You were ours... and we weren't giving you to anybody." ~ Martha in Strange Visitor

"A love that risks nothing is worth nothing." ~ Jonathan in Big Girls Don't Fly

Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,784
Likes: 28
Pulitzer
Offline
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,784
Likes: 28
Quote
That evening Lois spoiled the turkey and it looked like a black brick. She said, "It doesn't matter, we can have a take-out with Perry and Jimmy." And so they phoned them and invited them round. Jimmy loved the turkey. He had more of the take-out than anyone. Everyone stated to laugh because Jimmy was greedy.

Get Lois a serious cookbook .... one that comes with a chef!

Nice little story! thumbsup


Morgana

A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Offline
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
EDIT: Posted this yesterday in the wrong spot. Sorry. blush

Wow. I'm impressed with Lois's sewing ability. A bullet-proof cape on her very first try! She's a keeper!

I'm not familiar with a Sylvanian Families house, but I'm guessing it's similar to Barbie's.

It was so nice of Perry and Jimmy to come with take-out rescue and save Lois, Clark, and Rosaline's Christmas!

A sweet story of family bliss.


VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,466
LMA Offline
Top Banana
Offline
Top Banana
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,466
Hey wave...

What a lovely story to read tonight! I like Christmas stories, and this one that you wrote definitely was really great smile.

I think the gifts that you chose for the three of them to receive were perfect. I can picture Lois, Clark, and Rosaline all being very happy with their presents.

My favorite part was the description of the cooked turkey--a 'black brick' clap grin thumbsup. Hilarious!

Great job--looking forward to more of your stories!
Laura


"Where's Clark?" "Right here."

...two simple sentences--with so much meaning.

~Lois and Clark in 'House of Luthor'~

Moderated by  Kaylle, SuperBek 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5