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#270206 05/13/16 01:32 AM
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Wrong Place, Wrong Time, Wrong Clark TOC can be found Here

I hope you enjoyed my little plot twist. [Linked Image]


VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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I don't ever think I've seen this particular twist (Vest with krypton it's bullets) before and I think I'm going to enjoy it!


CLARK: No. I'm just worried I'm a jinx.
JONATHAN: A jinx?
CLARK: Yeah. Let's face it, ever since she's known me, Lois's been kidnapped, frozen, pushed off buildings, almost stabbed, poisoned, buried alive and who knows what else, and it's all because of me.
-"Contact" (You're not her jinx, you're her blessing.)
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Christina: wave

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I don't ever think I've seen this particular twist (Vest with krypton it's bullets) before and I think I'm going to enjoy it!
Thanks! I try to keep my ideas fresh. smile


VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,065
Likes: 31
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[Linked Image]
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I Would Die For You
There was a chapter heading the last part, too… confused Also, I’ve read your Muse is relaxing with a 10-parter? hyper

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“Bobby Bigmouth says that the gangsters will be at the Georgie Hair-do’s speakeasy tonight;
shock
/hears gun going off in the room with the fireplace/
PAVEL: It wasn’t me! They don’t hand guns to men wearing *gold* uniforms. We never got to go on away missions…

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“Lois,” Clark groaned. “What makes you think that tonight is going to be different from any of the other times you made me wear it during the last month?”
Umm…

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“Then where’s yours?” he responded, crossing his arms.
laugh

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She glanced down at her black sequined dress with spaghetti straps.
Or the *red* dress…

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“Anyway, you’re the only bulletproof vest I need,”
rotflol

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“You’ll step between me and any bullets, won’t you, Clarkie?”
And he wouldn’t be anywhere else.
CLARK: [Linked Image] I’d hate for all that work to go to waste.

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“I have never been so ready to be shot in my life,” he grumbled.
shock
MARTHA: Clark Jerome Kent!

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Lois pressed her lips together into a line and then stepped forward to straighten his tie. Her fingers slipped down to the middle of his chest where she unbuttoned his shirt.
Oooooh!

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“I’m just checking,” she said. “I don’t want another Captain Elliot episode on my hands.”

“I told you, Lois. I didn’t put the vest back on after I flew up to shift the satellite away from Earth.”
rotflol

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Clark refused to admit she was right, and she knew she was because he didn’t deny it either.
He’s a naughty boy!
CLARK: Bullet proof vests are kind of useless while I’m in space.

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Lois picked up her mobile phone from the side table next to her front door and slipped it into his jacket pocket. He gave her a sour expression, which read, ‘I’m not your pack mule.’
He’s adorable. And what if she had slipped a prophylactic into his pocket?
LOIS: So he can conveniently lose it? No, my bag’s big enough for those.

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“What?” she replied, innocently holding up her evening bag for his inspection again. “It won’t fit.”
One does have to remember that back in the day, those things where almost as big as today’s mobile phones.

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“Mind if I don’t believe you?” she said wryly, patting his cheek and walking down the hall to the stairwell. That obstinate man! She still hadn’t been able to convince Clark to try to steal third base.
[Linked Image]
CLARK: I’m not a thief. I’d never steal anything.
LOIS: [Linked Image] I try to give it away for free, and he won’t accept it. I try to hold on to it so he can steal it, and again, nothing. Maybe if I wore the invisible suit…

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“I wore this tie special to match.”
Hmm…’special to match’? Dunno, sounds wrong to me…

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How many months would they have to date before he moved past that invisible line he recently drew across her navel?
Well…the traditional waiting period is six months of dating, then six months of engagement, then there’s the traditional time travel episode and then the delayed wedding night. Also, maybe she could draw a demarcation line across her belly with lipstick and move it downwards a bit each day? That way, Clark wouldn’t realize what’s happening until he’s well and truly cooked. Works with frogs, so…

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It was the kind of dress that would make even Clark forget oaths of chastity.
CLARK: That’s why I have gotten them tattooed on a special place, too.

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However, as she walked past the rack of dresses on the way to the register from the fitting room, an icy chill from nowhere had made her stop and replace the dress with a black version.
She could have bought both and worn the red later to dinner?

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It wasn’t her fault if some testosterone-laden clone took potshots at her or Clark. It just wasn’t!
And yet, she’s making Clark wear a bullet proof vest.
LOIS: Rule #66!

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The problem was she had no idea whatsoever how to change the behavior of criminals who had just been reanimated from the dead via cloning.
How about removing the testosterone producing parts via crude procedures?
LOIS: [Linked Image]

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Oh, sure, she could quit the Daily Planet, move to another city, and get another job at another paper while Clark put together another secret identity.
Maybe die her hair blonde while Clark makes a fortune digging up lost treasures before he settles in to his new life as a renowned billionaire? He could even get a nice car to take out for a spin during the nights while wearing a cowl.

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Clark would have to find another non-reporting career that allowed him the freedom to bolt for the nearest door as this one did, because they couldn’t chance him bumping into any of their old colleagues.
Or Clark could start wearing blonde wig and a glue-on beard and start again as a reporter at the Daily Planet. They could go through quite a number of facial hair combos that cover his face. People wouldn’t recognize him. Only problem would be that Lois would get a reputation for dating the new hire while he rides her coattails before getting killed in defending her.

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While she loved Clark more than her city and her job, she didn’t want to upend her life, his life, just because he was a stubborn, obstinate git who thought he wasn’t only invulnerable but also invincible.

Well, he had met his match. She would save his life, if she had to die in the process!
Oh…boy.

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“Did you want to get something off your chest?” she asked, before raising her finger to stop him from interjecting. “Something that isn’t a piece of clothing?”
Cute!

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“How about next time, you pay the cabbie, minha?” he asked as they started walking towards the club.
jawdrop

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She frowned again. “Fine!” Clearly, as Martha had told him, she wasn’t ‘fine’.
Maybe he should stock up on chocolates?

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“So, you want to be equal with your male co-workers in every way, except when it comes to picking up the tab?” he asked.
Duh?

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“Well, you get paid more than I do!” she snapped.
shock thud

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“I do not! I have fewer years at the Planet and, therefore, less seniority than you.”
Yes…but he’s a man and this is still way back when and there’s still gangsters running around with Tommy guns.

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“Fine!” she grumbled. “But when you factor in my higher day-to-day expenses, I earn less.”
So, she should be paid more because she needs to buy more accessories as a woman?
LOIS: Exactly.

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“You don’t have to eat every day; I do.”
So, now instead of Clark being sexist, she’s being specicist?

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He scoffed. “I like to eat, same as you… if not more. If you cooked, instead of ordering out all the time, it would save you money and be healthier.”
I don’t think so, the being healthier bit, I mean.

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“I don’t have time to cook.” She pointed at him. “I have to pay for health insurance, medicines, and a gym membership!”
Like most men do?
Members of the Metropolis Men's Club: We have wives to cook for us.

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“Perry might get suspicious if your partner didn’t need health insurance any longer,” he reminded her.
rotflol He’d be put on 24h hour suicide watch?

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and my exercise program involves lifting buses falling from bridges instead of machines at the gym.”
Yes, but it is his fault that Lois has to consume excessive amounts of chocolates *and* doesn’t have a superpowered exercise regiment back in her bedroom.

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“Did you want me to…” he cleared his throat. “— pick you up before work instead of walk with you, now that it’s colder?”

The corner of her lip tilted upward. “That sounds nice.”

He brushed her lips with his. “All you had to do was ask, Lois. Is that all?”
shock That was all? confused

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How was that his fault? “One, it’s a smaller apartment. Two, it’s in a worse neighborhood, and three, learn to negotiate better.”
rotflol

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Thirdly, men don’t like to negotiate with women; it makes them feel less of a man, so they refuse to haggle and the woman gets metaphorically screwed.”
CAT: I never had that problem. Metaphorically speaking.
PHIL: /pokes fingers in his ears/ lalalalalalalala!

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Clark opened his mouth and drew in a breath, only to stop himself. Asking Lois to move in with him to win an argument was the cherry on top of a stupendously bad idea, especially since he was only saying it in jest.
Oooooooooh!

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Clark wanted more than anything to live with Lois, to wake up every morning and go to sleep every night with her in his arms. He had moved to this dimension with that very goal in mind.

That was impossible…
Not impossible. He just has be to be very careful to prevent consummation.

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A really, horrible, disastrous idea… for a completely different reason.

Clark didn’t want that type of relationship with Lois.
wallbash

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I live in that neighborhood, because I needed
Maybe little more cleaning up in this corner? There’s still some dust bunnies around…

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Anyway, if they moved in together before she was ready to be married, wouldn’t that just delay her ever being ready?
laugh

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If she already had access to the milk, why would she ever buy the cow?
Because it didn’t say anywhere that he’d be giving her the milk.

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How did she always accomplish the feat of making him love her more than the previous moment?
By breathing?

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“Hello,” he asked to Bonnie,
‘asked to’?

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“Hello,” he asked to Bonnie,
/waites for Clark to crash and burn/

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Most people didn’t go around wearing bulletproof vests.
Politicians. Certain mob bosses.

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“After sixty years, you’d think men would be more forward about such things,” Bonnie grumbled to herself.
LOIS: You and me, both… razz

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“But I already have a man like you.”
Clyde’s being a prude?

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“Knock it off, Clyde. We’re just having a conversation,” Bonnie retorted. She waved her fingers at her partner. “Anyway, I don’t see no ring on this finger.”
Funny thing, that. She never got a divorce.

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“Can we discuss this later?” Clyde whispered. “Anyway, you’re supposed to be watching the door.”

“I am watching the door,” Bonnie returned, flipping her hand towards the entrance. “I am here and the door is there.”
Aren’t they cute? Just like Lois and Clark. If they where wont to knock over liquor shops.

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“If I play my cards right, you’ll lose your underwear.”
shock

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She should have just bought the red dress. Why hadn’t she realized that crummy men didn’t change their attitude no matter what a woman wore?
Because she only dated one sleezebag, one pig, one sociopathic sleazebag of a pig, and a boyschout?

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Clyde leveled his pistol at Clark and fired two shots directly into his chest. “That should stop you from trying to steal our dames!”

Clark sputtered and grabbed his chest, falling to the ground next to Lois.
confused Force of habit? But he’s not usually getting shot and killed…?

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He gasped for breath, playing the dying man to the hilt.
Or is he putting on a show to get them out of there?

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“Clyde, you moron!” Capone snapped. “What did you do that for? Those were our only green bullets.
shock

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Lois’s eyes widened as she hugged his head to her chest. “Oh no!”

Clark squeezed her hand and whispered, “I’ll never argue with you again.”
clap

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***End of Part 221***
[Linked Image] [Linked Image]

Regarding the k-bullets. There was at least one story where they got green bullets. And I have no idea if Tank might not have done this before, too. But that’s just because, well…I have no idea if Tank hasn’t covered any and all possible variations of ToGoM by now wink Either way, twisty! Naughty twisty!

wave Michael


Join us on the #loisclark Discord server! We talk about fanfic, our favorite show, life, and more! (It’s almost like the IRC days of old again!)

I go by Michael on the Archives.
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Darth Michael: Thank you for reading and commenting. smile
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There was a chapter heading the last part, too… /confused/
Yes. I got overly excited by all the terrific song titles out there. Forgive a writer her silliness.

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Also, I’ve read your Muse is relaxing with a 10-parter? /hyper/
My apologies. My muse has dug in her heels. I'm almost done with Part 11. /hangs head down in shame at not being able to control my Muse./

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/hears gun going off in the room with the fireplace/
PAVEL: It wasn’t me! They don’t hand guns to men wearing *gold* uniforms. We never got to go on away missions…
Someone has been reading the classics again. [Linked Image] How do you expect your brain to rot, if you keep that up?

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Or the *red* dress…
Nope. She's wearing black tonight. Because who would notice another woman wearing black?

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And he wouldn’t be anywhere else.
CLARK: /that's right!/ I’d hate for all that work to go to waste.
His mama taught him to be gentleman.
EW: Yeah, I noticed that too, now that you mention it. Ooops.

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MARTHA: Clark Jerome Kent!
CAT: Well, that was the longest Lois ever kept a man interested. And I really thought he was a keeper, being invulnerable and all. Maybe she'll have better luck with the next man who come along.

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He’s a naughty boy!
Because he's honest?

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CLARK: Bullet proof vests are kind of useless while I’m in space.
Plus, Superman in a bulletproof vest might worry people.

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He’s adorable. And what if she had slipped a prophylactic into his pocket?
LOIS: So he can conveniently lose it? No, my bag’s big enough for those.
lol
PERRY: They go in the wallet, so you *can't* lose it.
CLARK: I swear, Lois, I think Bonnie picked my pocket!
LOIS: Uh-huh.

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One does have to remember that back in the day, those things where almost as big as today’s mobile phones.
Thicker and more cumbersome with a lot less functions.

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CLARK: I’m not a thief. I’d never steal anything.
lol
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LOIS: /seriously considering getting a boy-toy on the side/ I try to give it away for free, and he won’t accept it. I try to hold on to it so he can steal it, and again, nothing. Maybe if I wore the invisible suit…
I don't that includes consent.

Originally Posted by Michael
Originally Posted by WC Part 221
“I wore this tie special to match.”
Hmm…’special to match’? Dunno, sounds wrong to me…
Perhaps it needs commas. “I wore this tie, special, to match.”

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Well…the traditional waiting period is six months of dating, then six months of engagement, then there’s the traditional time travel episode and then the delayed wedding night. Also, maybe she could draw a demarcation line across her belly with lipstick and move it downwards a bit each day? That way, Clark wouldn’t realize what’s happening until he’s well and truly cooked. Works with frogs, so…
clap
LOIS: Great. /sarcasm/ Terrific. /more sarcasm/ Can't wait. thud

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CLARK: That’s why I have gotten them tattooed on a special place, too.
TATTOO ARTIST: I've never tattooed under the eyelids before. Plus, I've met some weirdos in this job, but this guy kept kissing his special green glowing rock, every few minutes.

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She could have bought both and worn the red later to dinner?
LOIS: wallbash Why didn't I think of that one?
CLARK: Do they have it in maroon?

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And yet, she’s making Clark wear a bullet proof vest.
LOIS: Rule #66!
It's not her fault, nor is it Clark's. She's just trying to keep him safe.

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How about removing the testosterone producing parts via crude procedures?
LOIS: /I call it the Ralph Special/
LOIS: Sadly, there wasn't enough time.

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Maybe die her hair blonde while Clark makes a fortune digging up lost treasures before he settles in to his new life as a renowned billionaire? He could even get a nice car to take out for a spin during the nights while wearing a cowl.
LOIS: Hmmmm. Maybe Batman's accepting knew Robins.
CLARK: I really do better during the day. You know, daylight and all.

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Or Clark could start wearing blonde wig and a glue-on beard and start again as a reporter at the Daily Planet. They could go through quite a number of facial hair combos that cover his face. People wouldn’t recognize him. Only problem would be that Lois would get a reputation for dating the new hire while he rides her coattails before getting killed in defending her.
LOIS: See, it would be much easier if he just didn't die.

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Oh…boy.
evil

Originally Posted by ER
Originally Posted by WC 221
“How about next time, you pay the cabbie, minha?” he asked as they started walking towards the club.
ER: /He didn't!/
Too soon, then?
Alt-MARTHA: I taught him better than that!
ALT-CLARK: You died.
MARTHA: Hmmm. No excuses!

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Maybe he should stock up on chocolates?
CLARK: I got this stuff called "Chocolate dipping sauce"...
LOIS: I forgive you!

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Originally Posted by WC 221
“Well, you get paid more than I do!” she snapped.
ER: /shock / thud/
What? It's the 1990s and she's a woman and he's a man.

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Yes…but he’s a man and this is still way back when and there’s still gangsters running around with Tommy guns.
Exactly! wink

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So, she should be paid more because she needs to buy more accessories as a woman?
LOIS: Exactly.
LOIS: No! Because I'm a better writer. Duh!

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So, now instead of Clark being sexist, she’s being specicist?
Or she could just be arguing for argument sake to take her mind off the fact that Clark might be walking into a deathtrap.

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I don’t think so, the being healthier bit, I mean.
It'd be healthier, only if he cooked the food she bought.

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Like most men do?
Members of the Metropolis Men's Club: We have wives to cook for us.
ALICE: [Linked Image]

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He’d be put on 24h hour suicide watch?
PERRY: It would be highly suspicious.

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Yes, but it is his fault that Lois has to consume excessive amounts of chocolates *and* doesn’t have a superpowered exercise regiment back in her bedroom.
Okay. You've got him there.

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/shock/ That was all? /confused/
Again. She was just arguing for argument sake. (see above)

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CAT: I never had that problem. Metaphorically speaking.
PHIL: /pokes fingers in his ears/ lalalalalalalala!
Now Cat's biggest problem is getting sleep.
CAT: [Linked Image] That's not a new problem, honey.

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Not impossible. He just has be to be very careful to prevent consummation.
Hence the impossible angle.

Originally Posted by ER
Originally Posted by WC 221
Clark didn’t want that type of relationship with Lois.
ER: /can't believe this guy/
He meant that he wanted to be married and not just living together.

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Maybe little more cleaning up in this corner? There’s still some dust bunnies around…
[Linked Image] I hate grammar. There's always an exception to the rule. Thanks.

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Because it didn’t say anywhere that he’d be giving her the milk.
CLARK: [Linked Image] Well...

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‘asked to’?
Oh, sorry, I moved the question to the end of the line. Fixed!

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/waites for Clark to crash and burn/
LOIS: [Linked Image]

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Politicians. Certain mob bosses.
Right and as a reporter, Clark should be better than those people.

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LOIS: You and me, both… /razz/
Actually, I think that's what she said.

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Clyde’s being a prude?
That's one way of looking at that rumor.

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Funny thing, that. She never got a divorce.
She was married to someone else?

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Aren’t they cute? Just like Lois and Clark. If they where wont to knock over liquor shops.
Actually, if you look in the background of that scene, you see that Bonnie and Clyde are having an adamant discussion and once they get to the DP, they're all kissy-face, soooo.... I elaborated.

Originally Posted by ER
Originally Posted by WC 221
“If I play my cards right, you’ll lose your underwear.”
ER: /shock/
I know! Who knew Clark was such a poor poker player? evil

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Because she only dated one sleezebag, one pig, one sociopathic sleazebag of a pig, and a boyschout?
And yet, she's always hopeful that the next one will be better.

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/confused/ Force of habit? But he’s not usually getting shot and killed…?
Well, if you let the person who shot you know that you're wearing a bullet proof vest, they're more likely to shoot you again in the head. That recovery, much harder to fake.

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Or is he putting on a show to get them out of there?
Cause he's such a good actor?

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ER: /not happy to have to wait a week for the next part/
Wait until I post this week's part. Oh, wait. It's Wednesday. Hmmmm. I better get on that. /Naughty husband for suggesting we watch another episode of S5 GoT and distract me from the boards./

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Regarding the k-bullets. There was at least one story where they got green bullets. And I have no idea if Tank might not have done this before, too. But that’s just because, well…I have no idea if Tank hasn’t covered any and all possible variations of ToGoM by now wink Either way, twisty! Naughty twisty!
Thanks for the information. I hadn't read this twist before, but I haven't read everything on the Archives either... well, mostly because my Muse has been terribly naughty lately and I can't think straight, but that's another story.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts! wave


VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,483
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I used K-bullets in Death in the City. They were supplied to Capone et al by Nigel St.John.


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The World of Lois & Clark
Richard White to Lois Lane: Lois, Superman is afraid of you. What chance has Clark Kent got? - After the Storm
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Originally Posted by Dandello
I used K-bullets in Death in the City. They were supplied to Capone et al by Nigel St.John.
Thanks for letting me know. I'll have to check that out!


VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 527
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Posts: 527
SQD's Unexplained Events had Kryptonite coated ones too. Then again so did Madame Ex, so it's a wonder the actual show didn't use them more...

This fic and I have what I call premiss incompatability unfortunately. I cannot read fics with alternative versions from different dimensions getting together at all... I think it's being the granddaughter of an identical twin combining with viewing alternates as twins... I did love Another Lois while I was lurking though.


Sara "Lieta"
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Originally Posted by Lieta
This fic and I have what I call premiss incompatability unfortunately. I cannot read fics with alternative versions from different dimensions getting together at all... I think it's being the granddaughter of an identical twin combining with viewing alternates as twins... I did love Another Lois while I was lurking though.
Well, I'm sorry that Wrong Clark isn't for you, Lieta. That happens. I'm glad you enjoyed Another Lois.


VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
---
"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,065
Likes: 31
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Thank you for reading and commenting.
Always!

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My apologies. My muse has dug in her heels. I'm almost done with Part 11. /hangs head down in shame at not being able to control my Muse./
rotflol She sounds a lot like a little Lois clap Although, the last time I tried to do an 8 part story, I ended up with 28 parts over yonder…

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How do you expect your brain to rot, if you keep that up?
laugh

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CAT: Well, that was the longest Lois ever kept a man interested. And I really thought he was a keeper, being invulnerable and all. Maybe she'll have better luck with the next man who come along.
laugh

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He’s a naughty boy!
Because he's honest?
Because he is still doing naughty things, even if he’s honest about them.

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Plus, Superman in a bulletproof vest might worry people.
Like, when you see a nuclear bomb technician running away from a building?

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PERRY: They go in the wallet, so you *can't* lose it.
CLARK: I swear, Lois, I think Bonnie picked my pocket!
LOIS: Uh-huh.
rotflol

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Perhaps it needs commas. “I wore this tie, special, to match.”
Hmm…not entirely convinced. It still sounds more like a –ly situation. Maybe ‘especially’ or ‘specifically’? huh It it’s just me…

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LOIS: Great. /sarcasm/ Terrific. /more sarcasm/ Can't wait. /is really, really hard up/
There, there.

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TATTOO ARTIST: I've never tattooed under the eyelids before. Plus, I've met some weirdos in this job, but this guy kept kissing his special green glowing rock, every few minutes.
rotflol

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CLARK: Do they have it in maroon?
LOIS: mad [Linked Image]

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CLARK: I really do better during the day. You know, daylight and all.
laugh

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What? It's the 1990s and she's a woman and he's a man.
Boy, time flies…

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Or she could just be arguing for argument sake to take her mind off the fact that Clark might be walking into a deathtrap.
Oh?

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Members of the Metropolis Men's Club: We have wives to cook for us.
ALICE: /he can just cook his can of baked beans and then sleep in the den/
laugh

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Now Cat's biggest problem is getting sleep.
CAT: /is used to it/ That's not a new problem, honey.
clap

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Because it didn’t say anywhere that he’d be giving her the milk.
CLARK: /always has his fridge well stocked and it’s not locked/ Well...
laugh

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Funny thing, that. She never got a divorce.
She was married to someone else?
Yep. Married at 16. Ran away from him at 19. Met Clyde some months or so later. Never got a divorce, though.

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Actually, if you look in the background of that scene, you see that Bonnie and Clyde are having an adamant discussion and once they get to the DP, they're all kissy-face, soooo.... I elaborated.
clap

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I know! Who knew Clark was such a poor poker player? /has seen just how *bad* a poker player he can be/
evil

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Well, if you let the person who shot you know that you're wearing a bullet proof vest, they're more likely to shoot you again in the head. That recovery, much harder to fake.
True.
Chuck Norris: Not really. You just catch the bullet with your teeth and spit it back out.

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Cause he's such a good actor?
[Linked Image]

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Wait until I post this week's part. Oh, wait. It's Wednesday. Hmmmm. I better get on that. /Naughty husband for suggesting we watch another episode of S5 GoT and distract me from the boards./
Oooh! Also, that’s okay. Some things are worth waiting another day for Wrong Clark.

wave Michael


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