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Wrong Place, Wrong Time, Wrong Clark TOC can be found Here Another one bites the dust. Comments Welcome!
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Yay it's up! I'm guessing Wells was keeping the fact that this world has been through more than one cycle to himself (as far as I recall). With that said, something tells me, Lois might be getting closer to the truth again. We'll see if Wells can shed some light this time.
CLARK: No. I'm just worried I'm a jinx. JONATHAN: A jinx? CLARK: Yeah. Let's face it, ever since she's known me, Lois's been kidnapped, frozen, pushed off buildings, almost stabbed, poisoned, buried alive and who knows what else, and it's all because of me. -"Contact" (You're not her jinx, you're her blessing.)
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Christina: Howdy, Reader! Apologies again for the delay. I'm guessing Wells was keeping the fact that this world has been through more than one cycle to himself (as far as I recall). Wells first thought that the Kal-El of this dimension had died as an infant (Wells knew about there being no Superman in this dimension when he visited Lois in Book I). Then, Wells learned -- after hearing of Lois's flashes of memory -- that there must have been another future, where she *had* met Clark. Clark knew about those two scenarios, too. Neither of them (Clark or Wells) considered the fact that meant that Lois could be having memory flashes from two different possible futures. They aren't still thinking about that. WandaMae was merely reminding the Reader of that fact. (Plus, I thought it might be fun to have someone other than Lois and Star who knows about the alt-futures.) Clark thinks that since he's there, it wiped out the future with no Superman completely; therefore, Lois could only have flashes of her life with the previous (True) Clark. WandaMae is here to remind everyone that it might be gone but it's not forgotten, well, at least not by the insane... and Lois. With that said, something tells me, Lois might be getting closer to the truth again. We'll see if Wells can shed some light this time. Wells? Is he coming back soon? CLARK: I hope so! That means he found a cure! We'll have to wait and see what the future... this future might bring. Thanks for reading and commenting!
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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I was thinking that WandaMae might not actually be insane but that she really IS an incanarnation of Mary Todd Lincoln and that past life is more immediate than her current one.
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Dandello: Thanks for reading. I was thinking that WandaMae might not actually be insane but that she really IS an incanarnation of Mary Todd Lincoln and that past life is more immediate than her current one. No, she isn't insane. I have written WandaMae as someone who went to Star and was hypnotized back into a previous life, but then couldn't snap out of it. Therefore, she has her current memories of her ho-hum existence with a brother who lost the family fortune on a get-rich quick scheme (that would be William Wallace Walldecker, i.e. Tad), which seem to pale with the vivid memories of being First Lady during the Civil War. Since William Wallace was the name of one of Mary Todd Lincoln's children, I figure the Walldeckers were desendants of President Lincoln, which could be taken as kind of funny being that Tad had a strong Southern accent. Star's screw-up also allowed WandaMae access to ALL her other incarnations of WandaMae as well. I know, lots of back-story for a one-scene character (but that's why my stories always end up so long, because I'm interested in the WHYS). Please let me know if revealing such back-stories gives you too much information (and ruins the fun), and I'll enclose them behind Spoilage walls next time. I'm glad you found her interesting.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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It was freezing during the night. In the morning, it was cold enough for frost to form on the windshield, yet warm enough by the afternoon that she wished she had brought her light jacket instead of her heavy coat. To be fair, we had temperature differences of 20°C with from one day to the next, too, this year or last. So, why would someone steal the clone’s body? Parts? Sex slave? WandaMae blinked and glanced over at Lois. “Oh, Miss Lane, so good to see you again.” Oh boy? WandaMae shrugged. “I meant Superman.” She gave Clark another wink. “It’s so nice to have him here again.” Trice? Oh boy. No wonder she’s cuckoo for cocoa puffs. “What do you mean by ‘this time’?” Lois asked her.
“This go-around,” WandaMae explained without clarity. Really, Lois? “Three times?” Lois repeated. “I don’t understand,” Lois said. “I thought he was only struck the one time.” Really? She not the smartest one of the pair, huh? Lois felt as if her brain had turned into Chopped Suey. You mean like Clark feels when he gets hit in the head by a Kryptonite bullet? “I’m so sorry for your loss,” Clark said.
Lois stared at him. This woman was not the former first lady. CLARK: You’re telling me Lois *won’t* get to live for 200+ years and still look like she does now when she turns 160? You were very brave, too, following Broom Hilda and I, Brunhilde. And ‘me’ unless you intentionally…? Clark’s face lost its color. “Back in the time of Lincoln?”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Clark,” Lois said, nudging him. However, she kept an eye on WandaMae just in case.
“Heavens, no!” the woman exclaimed. “Although the North could’ve been well-served by a news writer of her caliber.”
“Thank you,” Lois said.
“Ms. Lane and I met two lifetimes ago,” So, in the time of Lincoln. Was there another future with a worse ending than that natural disaster? Yeah, the one where she and Lex eloped before she left him and eloped with her shrink, too. LOIS: Dr. Carlin? Then, again, how was any of this possible? Evil Writer? What could’ve been worse than whatever that natural disaster was that Superman needed to stop?
Nightfall? Superman finding out that Lois has already shacked up with her reporting partner. Clark seemed skeptical. “Do recall that she thinks that she’s Mary Todd Lincoln.” What if Abraham Lincoln was in one universe an immortal Highlander or a vampire and actually lived into the 20th century where he married WandaMae, calling her Mary Todd? “Lucid,” Lois said. “If anyone other than you knew about my…” She cleared her throat. “— memories, it’s possible that I could be sharing a room with WandaMae before too long.” DETER: It is my professional opinion that Ms. Lane shouldn’t be staying in her room, alone. Luckily, I can offer her a place in my special supervised facility. She turned the key in the ignition. “Does it bother you that I have this ability, but you don’t?” she asked. No, I guess it’s more an issue that with her having foreknowledge of dangerous situations, she might be more inclined to take risks. “It’s just us, Clark. You can be honest. Does it bother you that there’s something I can do that you can’t?” she repeated. Like bringing life into the world? “Lighten up? You just accused me of not keeping my promises and using bad language!” he retorted. Yeah, well, he *is* a filthy liar. He promised her lots and lots of carnal relations but it all turned out to be about her bust. “You could follow my example, you know,” he said with earnest. /later…/ HENDERSON: Okay, men! I know you don’t like her but we need to find the real Ms. Lane before something bad happens to her and Superman gets all moody. I do *not* want a Gotham situation on our hands. The bill for the floodlight would ruin us. “No swearing. No junk food. No premarital sex.” She rested her case. CAT: My work is done. “Again. You’re saying it as if it’s bad that I don’t do those things,” Clark replied. He does realize that if he had a Lois without sexual release or chocolate, the world would be in deep doodoo, right? “Join me for a hotdog and I’ll get off your case,” she said. One of those vegan ones? The one with enough artificial ingredients that they again have the consistency and taste of meat-based hotdogs but are actually worse for your health than the real deal? He patted his chest. “Do you know why I look the way I do? Because I don’t eat that ju… cra… junk.” No, it’s because he burns calories faster than Lois during sex and lifts grown women for sport all the time to carry them down from falling helicopters. “You know, you can be a real b… witch sometimes.” Ooooh! He called her a bitca! He must be working towards a post-spat boinking! “Ugh. No.” Again, he didn’t hide his shiver of disgust. “One from Germany. They taste better.” She thought about this, cut through traffic, and pulled over to the side of the road into an impossibly small spot in one try. “If you include a beer and a piece of chocolate cake, you’ve got yourself a date.”
“A beer?” He threw his hands up in defeat. “Lois, it’s lunchtime!”
She smiled, unbuckling her seatbelt and opening her car door. “Not in Germany.” würstel. Or wurst. Although, if he goes with authentic, Wieners would probably be the most accurate if he flies to Germany, flavored with the English plural. We’re supposed to be working in Metropolis, covering Metropolis.”
“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” she replied innocently, taking hold of the lapels of his jacket. Yes, I can so see how much Perry would like it if they actually crossed the intimacy threshold and *other* activities would abound that just happen to work as a double entendre to their current topic. He lifted her arms above her head and held them there as he proceeded to kiss her. She couldn’t move, even if she wanted to.
She didn’t want to.
He kissed down her neck to that spot he had found the night before that turned her kneecaps to jelly. Now, he was literally holding her up. Oooh! LEX: Really? I could have done that, too, for her. See, I’ve got this hunting lodge with a stone cellar and shackles at 8ft from the ground. I could have also fixed her arms above her head and then kissed her. No biggy! “You want me to take you here, now?” he asked, his voice rough with passion. Clark Jerone Kent. You take this over yonder right this instant. “Is this what you really want, Lois? Hot sex in the alley?” “Then, you’ll have to wait,” he said. With a sharp nod, he stepped away from her, but held eye contact. “This is one promise I’m keeping.” LOIS: Stupid! Stupid! “What do I look like? An idiot?” she asked. She wearing an elf outfit? A large segment of my heart belongs to him and him alone. You’ll have to deal with that, if we’re ever going to continue with our relationship.”
“Um… Lois?” She’d like then to be a thruple? Several years before he had come here, in his old dimension, the Space Rats had been the Christmas toy sensation. Just as Lois suggested, the Space Rats poisoned the population of Metropolis. And Lana got sprayed? Oh boy. Clark scoffed. “If only it were that simple.” His eyes widened. Boiling the aquifer? Could the solution really have been that simple? He would have to try… Maybe if Lex Luthor of his old dimension had also released the radioactive water into the aquifer…? Please let me know if revealing such back-stories gives you too much information (and ruins the fun), and I'll enclose them behind Spoilage walls next time. Michael
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Darth Michael: Hi, Michael. I guess this means I should start prepping Part 226. To be fair, we had temperature differences of 20°C with from one day to the next, too, this year or last. It's the Lex Luthor's of the world I tell you! They're to blame! So, why would someone steal the clone’s body? Parts? Sex slave? Squishy parts? And Necrophiliac maybe, but ewwwwww. Trice? Oh boy. No wonder she’s cuckoo for cocoa puffs. A good memory isn't always a good thing. “What do you mean by ‘this time’?” Lois asked her.
“This go-around,” WandaMae explained without clarity. Really, Lois? As far as Lois knew, she was the only person who recalled the previous future. “Three times?” Lois repeated. ER: /loves evil like this/ Well, 3 times that we know about. Really? She not the smartest one of the pair, huh? She didn't realize at first that WandaMae was referring to the other timeline/futures. She thought that he had actually been struck (in this timeline) 3 times. You mean like Clark feels when he gets hit in the head by a Kryptonite bullet? And then Lois strips? CLARK: Yep, chopped suey works as a description for that. With or without the Kryptonite. CLARK: /shock/ You’re telling me Lois *won’t* get to live for 200+ years and still look like she does now when she turns 160? My Magic 8 Balls says that I'm not allowed to reveal the answer to that question... yet. You were very brave, too, following Broom Hilda and I, Brunhilde. And ‘me’ unless you intentionally…? Good point. I should have researched the spelling of that name, and no I was no intentionally making WandaMae have worse grammar than someone in the 1880s should. So, in the time of Lincoln. Good point. Yes, WandaMae is a bit confusing. No, that's not what she meant. Yeah, the one where she and Lex eloped before she left him and eloped with her shrink, too. LOIS: Dr. Carlin? /cat/ That does sound like a sucky future. CANON CLARK: Tell me about it. Um... No comment? Superman finding out that Lois has already shacked up with her reporting partner. Worse for whom? What if Abraham Lincoln was in one universe an immortal Highlander or a vampire and actually lived into the 20th century where he married WandaMae, calling her Mary Todd? Sounds like a fun crossover! DETER: It is my professional opinion that Ms. Lane shouldn’t be staying in her room, alone. Luckily, I can offer her a place in my special supervised facility. LOIS: Not happening! CLARK: I'm willing to talk marriage now. No, I guess it’s more an issue that with her having foreknowledge of dangerous situations, she might be more inclined to take risks. Yet, if he said that, she would be less likely to tell him should she have any forewarning in the future, though. Like bringing life into the world? Technically, it does take 2 to make a baby. Women just do most of the hard work and men don't do more than protect the woman after the creation process has begun. Yeah, well, he *is* a filthy liar. He promised her lots and lots of carnal relations but it all turned out to be about her bust. Neither of them are dead yet. There's still time to make up on that promise. /later…/ HENDERSON: Okay, men! I know you don’t like her but we need to find the real Ms. Lane before something bad happens to her and Superman gets all moody. I do *not* want a Gotham situation on our hands. The bill for the floodlight would ruin us. LOIS: But I *am* the REAL Lois Lane! HENDERSON: Sure, you are, lady. “No swearing. No junk food. No premarital sex.” She rested her case. CAT: My work is done. Especially since Cat only does 2 out of the 3 of those things. CAT: Yeah, I don't eat junk food. He does realize that if he had a Lois without sexual release or chocolate, the world would be in deep doodoo, right? Especially if she wasn't able to swear either. No, he doesn't realize that. One of those vegan ones? The one with enough artificial ingredients that they again have the consistency and taste of meat-based hotdogs but are actually worse for your health than the real deal? Yeah, those are scary. If you crave meat, eat meat, not fake meat. /shivers with disgust/ And no, Lois meant just a regular American preservative filled one made up of mysterious leftovers of meat products. (Okay, equally scary). No, it’s because he burns calories faster than Lois during sex and lifts grown women for sport all the time to carry them down from falling helicopters. But he doesn't have sex. Ooooh! He called her a bitca! He must be working towards a post-spat boinking! He's not. And both my betas said it would be out-of-character if he called her that, so he changed his mind at the last second and called her a witch. Probably a red witch, but that's another discussion. würstel. Or wurst. Although, if he goes with authentic, Wieners would probably be the most accurate if he flies to Germany, flavored with the English plural. Thanks. I always thought there were umlauts with wurst. My bad. Fixed. Yes, I can so see how much Perry would like it if they actually crossed the intimacy threshold and *other* activities would abound that just happen to work as a double entendre to their current topic. LOIS: I can't imagine what you could possibly be referring to. LEX: Really? I could have done that, too, for her. See, I’ve got this hunting lodge with a stone cellar and shackles at 8ft from the ground. I could have also fixed her arms above her head and then kissed her. No biggy! LOIS: Completely different. /shock/ Clark Jerone Kent. You take this over yonder right this instant. Why? “Is this what you really want, Lois? Hot sex in the alley?” /Well, the ER wants it/ LOIS: What would happen if I said 'yes'? ER: /on a rampage/ LOIS: /takes it back/ Stupid! /hits head on wall/ Stupid! /goes in search of Kryptonite/ So, bad Evil Writer? /Hmmmm, thinks seriously about starting to post new Nfic instead of Smallville Christmas interlude/ She wearing an elf outfit? Um... no. That's Jimmy in another story. She’d like then to be a thruple? Sounds like a good use of a time machine to me. And Lana got sprayed? Oh boy. You know that would explain a lot about Lana, but sadly not what I was aiming at. She's was like that BEFORE the Space Rats were released. Maybe if Lex Luthor of his old dimension had also released the radioactive water into the aquifer…? What would happen if you heated up radioactive water? Something bad, I assume. Thanks for fun comments, Michael!
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Catching up with this story. WandaMae is back! “And you, too, Mr. Kent. How is Superman?” she asked, looking at Clark and giving him a wink. “It’s such a shame you weren’t able to save Tad this time.”
“Me?” Clark said, his voice squeaking.
WandaMae shrugged. “I meant Superman.” She gave Clark another wink. “It’s so nice to have him here again.” “I saw you duck under the table and burn that imposter’s shoes,” WandaMae explained as if this wasn’t a huge deal. “You were my hero that day.” “Everything will turn out fine, Ms. Waldecker. Being that you’re such good friends with Lois… Ms. Lane…” Clark started to say.
“Oh, we’ve never met until today,” WandaMae corrected him. “Well, not in this lifetime.” “Did she answer your questions?” Clark asked as they headed back to Lois’s Jeep.
“Not in the least. Actually, I’m more lost than I was at the cemetery,” she admitted. “Do you think she was right about the three lifetimes?”
Clark seemed skeptical. “Do recall that she thinks that she’s Mary Todd Lincoln.”
Lois nibbled on her bottom lip and thought about that aspect. “Perhaps the same phenomenon that unlocked these flashes of my previous life… previous future, also freed her to see the memories of her past futures.”
“So, you think she’s sane?” he asked.
“Lucid,” Lois said. “If anyone other than you knew about my…” She cleared her throat. “— memories, it’s possible that I could be sharing a room with WandaMae before too long.” Love how WandaMae has more of the pieces, maybe all of them. Neither Lois nor Clark can correctly put the puzzle together because they don't know canon L&C. Herb had better look out for Mad Dog Lane when Lois finds out the whole story, and how little he shared with this Clark. He nodded in understanding. “Do you have any memories of a past life?” he asked.
“Just the one.” She grinned. “Where I’m me and you’re you, but we do everything differently.” She chuckled.
Clark pinched his lips together but didn’t respond. He seemed bothered by her joke. And Clark had better be prepared for Nuclear Lois when she finds out how much he hasn't shared with her. I like your backstory explanation about WandaMae and Star. WandaMae pulled her gaze off Clark and turned her eyes to Lois. “Of course. You were very brave, too, following Broom Hilda and I, and attempting to save me from being abducted. Despite you having been caught, you were a far superior hero than Tad.” I actually thought you meant for WandaMae to substitute Broom Hilda (the comic strip character) for Brunhilde (Lois said Brunhilde in the episode). It seems in character with being pleasantly and happily confused. “So, I heard a generous annoymous benefactor came forward and offered to cover the cost of William and WandaMae Waldecker’s stay at Happy Meadows until the man regains his memories and can support them again,” Lois said. She leaned into Clark’s arm. “Anyone we know?”
He returned her knowing smile. “Perhaps.” Nice job Clark! Love the bear story. And the avoidance of the space rats. Hopefully in this dimension Mr. Schott and Miss Duffy are successful and happy together, without having to go to jail. Would be nice for some good folks to have a better life than canon L&C. What a wonderful chapter.
Cuidadora
"Honey, we didn't care if you were a Russian or a Martian... You were ours... and we weren't giving you to anybody." ~ Martha in Strange Visitor
"A love that risks nothing is worth nothing." ~ Jonathan in Big Girls Don't Fly
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cuidadora: Thanks for reading! Catching up with this story.
WandaMae is back! /dance/ Just a one-time cameo. Sorry. Love how WandaMae has more of the pieces, maybe all of them. Neither Lois nor Clark can correctly put the puzzle together because they don't know canon L&C. Unfortunately for Lois & Clark, WandaMae knows HER canon not really L&C's canon. Herb had better look out for Mad Dog Lane when Lois finds out the whole story, and how little he shared with this Clark. I'll keep that in mind should ever the two meet. And Clark had better be prepared for Nuclear Lois when she finds out how much he hasn't shared with her. My Magic 8 Ball says that the future is foggy and to check back later. I like your backstory explanation about WandaMae and Star. Thanks. I actually thought you meant for WandaMae to substitute Broom Hilda (the comic strip character) for Brunhilde (Lois said Brunhilde in the episode). It seems in character with being pleasantly and happily confused. I wasn't familiar with the other (non-comic) version of Brunhilde, hence my misspelling. I should have known that Mrs. Lincoln wouldn't refer to a comic witch. Although, having skimmed Wikipdia's listing on Brunhilde I'm a bit confused why WandaMae would call Gretchen by that name. Gretchen seemed to be acting more like Broom Hilda, the comic witch. He really is a nice guy. Love the bear story. And the avoidance of the space rats. Hopefully in this dimension Mr. Schott and Miss Duffy are successful and happy together, without having to go to jail. Would be nice for some good folks to have a better life than canon L&C. Feel free to think about the outcome of the toymaker and his partner as you please. I didn't consider another backstory future for them other than removing the need for Mr. Schott to go bad. Let's hope that success allowed them to find love much sooner than turning bad did. What a wonderful chapter. Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Brunhilde is a common (and insulting) way (in some parts of the country) to refer to a big Germanic looking woman. Comes from the sterotypical casting of big women to play operatic Valkyries.
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Brunhilde is a common (and insulting) way (in some parts of the country) to refer to a big Germanic looking woman. Comes from the sterotypical casting of big women to play operatic Valkyries. Thanks for clarifying this, Dandello. I guess I'm not up on the opera or the Valkyries, or the insults that come along with such things.
VirginiaR. "On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling" --- "clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Round 2! Hi, Michael. I guess this means I should start prepping Part 226. Or, well…229? Yeah, yeah, I know. There’s still a treat on the dark side. Will be getting to it! Squishy parts? And Necrophiliac maybe, but ewwwwww. Or maybe to freeze dry them and sell them for gold-pressed lantinum? As far as Lois knew, she was the only person who recalled the previous future. And still be sane? Dr. CARLIN: Debatable. And then Lois strips? CLARK: Yep, chopped suey works as a description for that. With or without the Kryptonite. LEX: So, all that would be needed to immobilize Superman is to tie a naked Lois to a lamp post in front of the bank while it is getting robbed? HENDERSON: No, I don’t know what happened. All I can tell you is that when we got there, Superman was just standing around with buggy eyes and so where the robbers, still clutching the bags full of stolen money. ER: So, in the time of Lincoln. EW: /is very fond of travelling in Delorians at 88mph/ Good point. CANON CLARK: /is still hoping Lois will never remember that he actually told her to go and be with Lex if that makes her happy/ Tell me about it. ALT CLARK: He gotten dropped on his head or something? Superman finding out that Lois has already shacked up with her reporting partner. Worse for whom? LOIS: Superman. Clark. Whatever… DETER: It is my professional opinion that Ms. Lane shouldn’t be staying in her room, alone. Luckily, I can offer her a place in my special supervised facility. LOIS: Not happening! CLARK: I'm willing to talk marriage now. DETER: Perfect. Everything’s proceeding as it is written in this notebook I found during my trip to Kansas. Technically, it does take 2 to make a baby. Women just do most of the hard work and men don't do more than protect the woman after the creation process has begun. True. Provided they stick around. LEX: What baby? I never met that woman. Especially since Cat only does 2 out of the 3 of those things. CAT: Yeah, I don't eat junk food. Not good for her hips, huh? No, he doesn't realize that. Oh boy… /steps back very carefully. Yeah, those are scary. If you crave meat, eat meat, not fake meat. /shivers with disgust/ And no, Lois meant just a regular American preservative filled one made up of mysterious leftovers of meat products. (Okay, equally scary). No, it’s because he burns calories faster than Lois during sex and lifts grown women for sport all the time to carry them down from falling helicopters. EW: But he doesn't have sex. No, ‘faster than Lois-during-sex’. So Lois is the one with the fun, he’s the one carrying women around and just in general burning calories. Thanks. I always thought there were umlauts with wurst. My bad. smile Fixed. Oh, yeah, in the plural form. One Wurst. Two Würste. LEX: /being creepy/ LOIS: Completely different. She’s quite picky, isn’t she? LOIS: What would happen if I said 'yes'? Umm… /watches as Clark produces a dust cloud/ Apparently, nothing of note. EW: So, bad Evil Writer? /likes dark places to hide in/ /Hmmmm, thinks seriously about starting to post new Nfic instead of Smallville Christmas interlude/ Tsk tsk tsk. /holds out empty bowl/ May we have both, please? She's was like that BEFORE the Space Rats were released. Oh boy. RALPH: So, you really *dated* her? She that good in bed, huh? What would happen if you heated up radioactive water? Something bad, I assume. Kinda… Michael
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