Knock! Knock! Knock!
The noise startled Clark out of his thoughts. He slipped with the knife and sliced his thumb open. He instinctively let go of the knife and the wooden horse he'd been carving. They clattered to the floor by his feet.
"Yah!" he cried out in shock, a second before the pain registered. "Ow," he continued, looking at the line of blood that was welling up and flowing over his broken skin.
"Clark? Is everything all right in there?" came Lois' voice.
"Milady?" He never called her by name until he was completely sure she was alone. "Come in."
She opened the door and slipped inside his room. "I heard a cry. Is everything all right?"
"I'm fine, Lois," he said, still checking his wound. "I slipped with the knife just now and cut myself."
"Oh, God! Did I cause that when I knocked?" she guessed. "I'm so sorry!"
"It's all right," he replied automatically. "It isn't too deep, thankfully. I can bandage it to stop the bleeding and it should be completely healed in a couple of days."
"Let me see," she said, hurrying to where he stood before the fireplace. She grabbed his hand and peered at the wound. "I am so, so sorry," she repeated.
"It's fine, really."
"Let me help you with it," she insisted, leading him across to the bed. "Sit here."
Clark did as he was told. Lois went about the task of gathering the things she needed. With clean, fresh water, she cleaned the blood from his thumb, then gently dried it with a new cloth. Taking a strip of cloth, she wound it around the injured digit and tied it off. Clark gave his thumb an experimental wiggle.
"How's that?" she asked.
"It feels pretty good," he replied with a pleased nod. "Thank you, Lois. That would have been hard for me to do with just one hand."
"Glad I could help, even it was my fault that you got hurt to begin with," she said, tucking a strand of her dark hair behind her ear.
"It wasn't your fault. I should have been paying more attention to my surroundings. I guess I let myself get too distracted with my carvings. You always come at night. I should have known to be on the lookout for you. Although," he hedged, not knowing if he was crossing a line or not, "I kind of thought I wouldn't be seeing you tonight. I thought you'd be with Lord Luthor this evening. Your family as well."
Lois shook her head as she paced to the window, looking out into the night. "I needed a break from everyone else. An entire day of trying to make small talk with Lex is tiring."
"Perhaps we should forego the reading lesson then," Clark said quietly, keeping his face neutral but with a heaviness in his heart.
Lois turned and shook her head again. "Not a chance. I may have had my fill of Lex's company this evening, but that doesn't mean that I'm not in need of spending time with my friend." She smiled at him. "Unless, of course, you rather that I not be here."
Clark shook his head in turn. "Although I didn't expect to see you this evening, I had hoped that perhaps I would get the chance to speak with you in private."
"Believe me, Clark, I've been wishing for a moment spent with you all day long."
Clark stood from his seat and walked over to Lois. "I wish I could do something, Lois. Do some great deed to be worthy of you. Be someone so much more attractive than Lord Luthor and all he can offer to your family."
"I know. And just so you know...if it was up to me, I would be your wife."
"And I would be your husband," he replied reverently. He almost put his hands on her shoulders, but stopped himself at the last minute.
"Why does this have to be so unfair?" Lois asked in a small voice.
"I wish I knew," he responded in a matching voice.
It was Lois who made the first move. She closed the slight gap between them, leaning into him. Automatically, his arms came up to encircle her as her arms wrapped around his own body. He hugged her gently at first, but when he felt her squeeze him ever so slightly, he allowed himself to hold her tightly. He felt her sigh into his chest. He felt his heart beat in tune with hers.
"I wish we could stay like this forever," Lois whispered.
"Me too."
But after a few minutes, that moment of perfection came to an end. Clark was the one to reluctantly pull away first. He felt like he was deflating as he let go of her, like he'd been floating on air only to come crashing back down to Earth. His arms ached without her in them. But he also knew that, even though they were in the privacy of his bedchamber, if Lord Lane ever found out about how close he and Lois were becoming, that things could become very bad for him, very quickly.
"I...I have something for you," Clark said in a shaking voice as he fought to control his racing emotions. "I was just finishing it when you came in."
He gestured for her to sit in the chair by the fire. Once she was comfortable, he retrieved the knife and the wooden animal he'd been working on from where they had both fallen to the floor. He put the knife back into the box with its brethren, then sat on the low footstool before the chair.
"Here," he said, presenting the wooden animal to Lois. "I hope you like it."
He saw her face beam with love and excitement as she reached for the figurine in his hand, where it lay nestled in his palm. He felt a thrill run through him as her fingertips brushed against his skin.
"Oh, Clark! It's beautiful! I love it!"
Clark smiled, happy to have made Lois happy. "I'm glad."
"Is this...is this Whisper?" Lois asked upon closer inspection of the wooden horse she held.
Clark's smiled broadened into a grin that stretched from ear to ear. "I thought you might recognize her."
He'd spent hours upon hours getting the carving just right. He'd made it so the horse was prancing, the right front leg lifted off the ground, the head tossed slightly back, the mane and tail flowing out behind as though caught in a stiff, refreshing breeze. He'd taken great pains to ensure that the piece was balanced and wouldn't topple over when left to stand on a shelf. He'd even carved Lois' favorite saddle on the beast, taking care to ensure that all of the intricate designs on the leather made it onto the wooden facsimile.
"It's gorgeous," Lois praised him, nearly breathless in her awe. She seemed incapable of tearing her eyes away from the figurine.
"Glad you like it," Clark replied.
"When did you make this?" she asked. "All the times I've been in here, or out in the stable with you, I never saw it."
"I started...oh, I guess about three nights ago. Maybe four," Clark said. "I kept it hidden so I could surprise you with it when I was all finished."
"It's an amazing piece of artwork," she said. "Thank you so much."
"You're welcome."
Once again, it was Lois who made the first moves. She leaned toward Clark, her eyes closing as she closed the distance between the two of them. Her lips puckered. Clark followed suit, his body overriding the logical warnings of his brain. Never before had he wanted something so much.
An instant later, their lips met, innocently at first. Just the barest touch of skin to skin. A butterfly light feeling on Clark's lips. Then, suddenly, the kiss deepened, though for the rest of his life, Clark was never truly sure which of them had been the one to do it, or if it had somehow been mutually agreed upon though words had never been spoken. All he knew that that as the kiss deepened and became hungrier in nature, lightning ignited in his veins and zipped through his entire being. Every nerve ending was set afire. Every cell vibrated with a sudden influx of heat and passion. Every sense was heightened into almost inhuman levels. Stars exploded behind his closed eyelids. His brain ceased to process anything that wasn't that singular, perfect kiss.
His arms flew up to embrace her. Her fingers weaved their way through his dark hair. He pulled her even closer, never letting his lips leave hers. Her fingers left his hair and raked across his back. Desire flared in Clark's heart. God, how he wanted Lois! But she wasn't his to have and he reluctantly backed off. Lois must have realized that they were heading into dangerous territory as well. He felt her pulling away at the same moment.
"I...uh..." he stammered, looking for words.
"Yeah..." Lois replied, appearing to be at a loss for something to say as well.
"That was..." he tried again.
"Incredible," she finished for him.
"Perfection," he supplied.
"Mmm," she hummed in agreement.
Clark closed his eyes for a second as he gathered his thoughts and pulled his spirit back down from where it was flying amongst the stars. He tried to calm his wildly beating heart, but to no avail.
"I'm sorry, Lois," he finally said in a near whisper. "I should never have...done that."
"No," she said with a shake of her head. "You didn't do it. I did. If anyone is to blame for what just happened, it's me."
"I wasn't completely innocent in my actions either," he pointed out. "I wanted that perhaps more than you did. In any case, I'm just a lowly servant. I had no right to ever touch you, let alone kiss you." He kept his voice low enough that no one passing by in the hall could have heard him. "If your father ever found out..."
"He won't," Lois cut in, sounding very sure of herself. "No one will. Trust me."
Clark nodded slowly, like a man still trying to shake off the remnants of a dream. "I believe you." He sighed. "It's just...that was stupid of me. Because now I know exactly what it is that I'll never be able to have."
Lois sighed in turn. "You're right. Maybe it was stupid of me to kiss you. Because, let's face it, I'm not sure how I can allow any other man to kiss me now. I've already given my heart away to you."
"Maybe..." Clark began, loathe to say the next words. "Maybe we ought to call off the lesson tonight. You know, spend some time apart, at least for the rest of tonight. I think we both need to cool off and clear our heads, before we do anything else that we might regret."
"Regret? Do you...regret what happened?" she asked, sounding vulnerable and almost childlike.
He shook his head. "Not the act, no. Only the fact that I know that I can never let myself do that again. It's already killing me inside that I can never be your husband. That I'll have to watch some other man - probably Luthor - pledge his undying love to you. I'm sorry, Lois, but I'm just not strong enough to continue down a path I know is only going to destroy me."
"So, what are you saying? That you wish you didn't love me at all?" she asked, and Clark could hear the held-back tears in her voice.
He sighed, wishing he had the right words to make her understand. "No, Lois," he said sadly, with a slow, slight shake of his head. "No, I don't regret falling in love with you one bit. But it kills me inside to know that I can only ever love you from afar."
"You don't think I feel the same way?"
"I guess...I guess I wasn't sure how you really felt. I know you've told me that you love me, but I guess I never imagined it was the same kind of love I feel for you. Not until tonight, just now when we kissed."
"Haven't you ever been in love before?" Lois asked softly.
Clark hesitated for half a heartbeat before admitting, "No." He felt his face blossom into a blush. "No," he said again, stronger this time. "There was never anyone in town who ever caught my attention that way. And even if there had been, I had nothing to offer them and no time to pursue them. I'd started to believe that love of any kind was simply not in the cards for me."
"Oh, Clark, you really do need to start seeing your own self-worth," Lois said gently, reaching out and resting her hand on his shoulder.
"My father used to say the same thing," he replied in a hoarse voice, choking back the raw emotions tearing through his body.
"He sounds like he was a smart man."
"He was. But, what about you?" he asked. "Surely you must have been in love before."
Lois seemed to think for a moment before speaking. "No. Oh, I had crushes here and there as a young girl, but nothing that you can really call love."
"I'll bet you caused a few boys to fall in love though," Clark lightly teased.
Lois laughed a little, but it wasn't the clear, pure laugh she usually had. "I guess. There was one. His name was Paul. He told me when I was...oh, I guess maybe sixteen, that he was going to marry me when he came back from this long journey he was going to make. I didn't want to marry him, but he kept saying over and over that I was going to marry him. It was getting very creepy and concerning for a while there."
"What happened?"
"His ship capsized in a storm not long after he left. His best friend was the only survivor."
"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that," Clark replied, almost reflexively.
"I wasn't. I was relieved that he couldn't keep forcing the marriage thing. I was young and scared of him. Now...looking back? I guess part of me is sad that so many lives were lost that night when the ship went down, but I still get a chill that runs down my spine whenever I think about him, and not in a good way. What about you? I bet you were quite the heartbreaker."
Clark laughed, a little bitterly. "Hardly. There was one girl in town who took an obvious liking to me. Lana, the baker's daughter. Like your Paul, she was a little...persistent in her very unwanted attention. I finally took to avoiding her completely. My father used to do all the business we had at the bakery, just so I wouldn't have to deal with her." He chuckled as he said the words.
"What's so funny?" Lois asked, her expression showing puzzlement.
Clark fought through his laughter. "I just heard it. I mean, really, truly heard it as I was saying it. And it's just so funny and sad to me. I'm twenty years old and I had my father conduct all our business with the bakery just so I could hide from some...some...some irritating girl!" He couldn't hold back the roar of laughter that burst forth.
Lois seemed to relax further and joined in on the laughter. "What a pair we are, huh?" she asked after a while.
Clark shook his head as he worked to catch his breath. "You said it."
He stood and stretched his body, which was becoming cramped from sitting on the footstool. Lois stood as well, watching him as if waiting to take her cue from him. When nothing happened for several long seconds, she broke the silence.
"So...what now?"
"I don't know," Clark admitted sheepishly. He looked around the room, as though an answer would just appear there. His eyes landed on the King Arthur book laying on his bed. "Maybe just a few pages of the book tonight?"
"That would be great," Lois said with a tender smile.
She took him by the hand and guided him across the room to their usual places on the bed. Clark easily read most of the words, only stumbling in four different places. He also demonstrated how he'd worked on his writing as well. Lois, for her part, encouraged him and cheered him on, as she always did. And, as usual, her support meant the world to Clark.
When he finally settled down into bed for the night, sleep was a long time in coming. All he kept thinking of was that kiss - that singular moment where he had experienced Heaven.
***
Lex stayed for the better part of a week.
Every day, Lois spent most of her waking hours in the man's presence. And as the hours wore on, she came to see multiple facets of the older lord. Layer by layer, she discovered more and more about him. In return, she knew she was letting Lex peel back her own carefully crafted walls. Walls she'd never let anyone look behind before, with the exception of Clark. Although, she acknowledged to herself, with Clark, she'd eagerly lowered her defenses and had let him see more of her true self than she would ever allow Lex to see, even if Lex did eventually become her husband.
Lex.
Her father and mother loved the charming, smooth-talking lord. Even Lucy and James, who'd had their reservations about him in the beginning, had come to embrace Lex. Lois hated to admit it, even just to herself, but she too had come to see Lex in a new light. She would never love him, not the way she loved Clark, but she could perhaps be content enough as his wife. She didn't want to be, but it was a relief to know that if she was backed against the wall and forced to marry him, it wouldn't quite be the prison sentence she'd once imagined it would be.
Still, each day that Lex stayed at Lane Manor that passed without a proposal made her ever more hopeful that perhaps one wouldn't come. Maybe Lex wasn't as taken with her as her father had clearly hoped he would be. And negotiations continued to join their forces to stop Lord Tempos, though Lois could see that Lex was holding back. Lois was finally starting to feel like things were going pretty well.
"Lois? May I speak with you, alone?" Lex asked on the morning he was to take his leave.
"Of course," Lois dutifully replied, setting aside the last piece of bread from her breakfast.
She stood from her chair and followed as Lex turned and walked out of the dining area. When she caught up with him, he took her by the arm and gently guided her to the main living space. Large windows overlooked the gardens, and a fire was dancing merrily in the hearth. Beyond the windows, it was ever so gently snowing. Lex stopped before the massive fireplace, faced her, and took both of her hands in his.
"Lois?"
"Yes, Lex?"
"There's something I want to say to you. Over the last week, seeing you every day...it's been one of the greatest pleasures of my life."
"Oh, uh, I'm flattered, Lex," she stammered, taken a little off guard, though she would later wonder why she hadn't seen what was coming.
Lex went to one knee. "Nothing would please me more than to see you every day for the rest of my life. My dear lady, would you do me the honor of marrying me?"
"Oh, Lex. It's a bit sudden..." she said, stalling for time as her mind spun.
She loved Clark. He was the man she wanted spend the rest of her life with. Not Lex. But how could she turn him down? He'd made it clear the night before that, although talks about joining together against Lord Tempos had progressed, he felt the Lanes weren't bringing enough to the table. To make matters worse, just that morning, reports had come in of another raid - this one just over the border of the Lane's lands.
"I know," Lex said, brushing aside her concerns. "But if I've learned anything during the last several days spent here in your home, it's that I shouldn't let any opportunity pass me by. Especially given the newest of Tempos' raids. Together, you and I can put an end to his ruthlessness and bring peace to the kingdom."
Lois took a steadying breath. The threat was clear enough, in her mind. Either she said yes to his proposal or he would withdraw his offer of aid. How many more people would suffer and die as a result?
"So, what do you say, my dear?" Lex asked.
The question hung like lead in the air between them while Lois gathered her courage.
"Yes, Lex. I will marry you. For the good of my people, I will be your wife."
Lex's face broke into a wide, pleased grin. He seemed to take no notice of Lois' implication that she was only marrying him to secure his aid in defeating Tempos.
"Excellent!" he said as he stood triumphantly. "We shall wed once I get back from my business with the king."
"And...and when will that be?" Lois asked, trying to sound excited, while her heart quietly shattered into a thousand irreparable pieces.
"It's a long journey, my lady. With the snow, it'll be even longer. And I'm not sure how long it will take for me to do everything I need to. My guess is two, maybe three months."
"That long?" she asked, faking her disappointment.
That short? her heart screamed.
"Well, I suppose I could push off my departure by a day. We could find a priest willing to bless our union today, if you'd like." He sounded only too eager to marry her, making Lois feel even warier.
She smiled at him. "As wonderful as that sounds, perhaps we should wait. After all, I don't have a wedding gown and we need some time to plan a feast for our friends and family. Imagine what a scandal it would be if we ran off and married today!"
Good, her mind said with approval. Play to his weaknesses. Chief among them, his public image.
Lex's smile dipped into a frown as he mulled over her concerns. "Perhaps you are right, Lois. Though I'm loathe to leave you behind, perhaps it's for the best. Come, let us share this happy news with your family. We can even make plans to finalize our alliance against Lord Tempos before I take my leave this morning."
Lois mutely nodded and linked arms with her new husband-to-be. But her heart lay dead in her chest as she walked toward a future she'd never wanted.
To Be Continued...
