|
|
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,784 Likes: 28
Pulitzer
|
OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,784 Likes: 28 |
Sorry for the delay, Part 18 needed a few additional details, otherwise the train station segment would have been rather flat. Its debut time for the Man of Steel! Up, up and away!  All comments would be much appreciated.
Last edited by Morgana; 10/18/16 03:27 AM.
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,445
Kerth
|
|
Kerth
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,445 |
And it isn't a plane crash for a change! Excellent!
Marcus L. Rowland
Forgotten Futures, The Scientific Romance Role Playing Game
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,358 Likes: 1
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2013
Posts: 1,358 Likes: 1 |
All of the players in place and the story setup, time to get going! This is the Lois we all know and love. It is so nice that Clark has Pete to talk this over with and due to his knowledge of the alternate timeline he knows that Lois' infatuation with 'Superman' can be overcome. In the series he led a pretty lonely life at this time. He was also constantly concerned about leading the double life and whether his disguise was good enough. It makes life a bit easier when you have a bit of inside information.
Mike
Create all the happiness you are able to create.
Remove all the misery you are able to remove.
Jeremy Bentham
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,784 Likes: 28
Pulitzer
|
|
OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,784 Likes: 28 |
Marcus RowlandAnd it isn't a plane crash for a change! Excellent! Plane crashes and the shuttle launches have been done quite a bit, this is a twist in the tale. So glad you enjoyed it!
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,784 Likes: 28
Pulitzer
|
|
OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,784 Likes: 28 |
MikeMThis is the Lois we all know and love. This scene came to mind after seeing Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell in His Girl Friday the rapid fire conversation between Lois and the boys is a salute to that film. Plus, writing about a hot story is Lois at her very best! One of the reasons Dr. Pete Ross appears in my stories so much is because Clark needs a male friend to hang out with that is not Perry or Jimmy. It was always a pity to me that he was never mentioned or appeared in the series, although several times we hear Clark talk about his old friends from college. In this fic especially that is the case. Martha and Jonathan are gone so having someone his own age who lives in Metropolis and knows the truth about him seems to work for this alt Clark tale. Thanks so much for the comment! It is very much appreciated.
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 917 Likes: 2
Features Writer
|
|
Features Writer
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 917 Likes: 2 |
Love this part!  Great detail about even the air in the station.  And Lois is right there on top of the story. Yay! Superman has made his debut!
Cuidadora
"Honey, we didn't care if you were a Russian or a Martian... You were ours... and we weren't giving you to anybody." ~ Martha in Strange Visitor
"A love that risks nothing is worth nothing." ~ Jonathan in Big Girls Don't Fly
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,784 Likes: 28
Pulitzer
|
|
OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,784 Likes: 28 |
CuidadoraLove this part! clap Great detail about even the air in the station. hail
And Lois is right there on top of the story. Wheee! Part Eighteen was written two years ago, it seems adding those extra details to the train station really helped the story. Isn't that just like Lois to be in the thick of things even when she wasn't supposed to be there?  So glad you enjoyed it!
Last edited by Morgana; 11/06/16 10:18 PM.
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,466
Top Banana
|
|
Top Banana
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,466 |
Hi Morgana  ... So excited to catch up with this story! I gotta agree--I love that Superman's debut was at the train station  . It felt really fresh--different. The scene really came to life, wonderful writing! I was happy to see how calm Clark was with knowing Superman was officially in the picture. This added information for Alt. Clark (like Mike mentioned)--knowing 'Superman' is the correct name, knowing the world will accept him, knowing what can happen with Lois--gives Clark such an ability to be present in the day to day. To worry less. And considering everything that he's dealt with with his parents, with Lana, that is great to see . Heading to the next part... Laura
Last edited by LMA; 10/31/16 12:52 PM.
"Where's Clark?" "Right here."
...two simple sentences--with so much meaning.
~Lois and Clark in 'House of Luthor'~
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,784 Likes: 28
Pulitzer
|
|
OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,784 Likes: 28 |
LMAI gotta agree--I love that Superman's debut was at the train station smile. It felt really fresh--different. The scene really came to life, wonderful writing! AHA! So glad the train station debut was fun and unexpected! One thing I keep saying: this is an alternative universe! so there will be small, medium and big changes! This is one of the big ones! Thanks for the lovely comment! I know how busy you and other commentors are, but it helps to feed the muse. 
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,082
Kerth
|
|
Kerth
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,082 |
Agreed with the discussion about Pete - it's good for Clark to have a friend his age that he can trust and talk with. Same with Lois - she needs a good friend as well. I thought in the pilot that her sister would fill that role, but then Lucy basically disappeared from the series and not one really stepped in. Great new twist on the first appearance of Superman. Good tension and drama. I love Lois in the grip of a great story - her energy was palpable. 
You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie. 
|
|
|
|
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,784 Likes: 28
Pulitzer
|
|
OP
Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 3,784 Likes: 28 |
GroobieAgreed with the discussion about Pete - it's good for Clark to have a friend his age that he can trust and talk with. Same with Lois - she needs a good friend as well. I thought in the pilot that her sister would fill that role, but then Lucy basically disappeared from the series and not one really stepped in. I meant to have Molly Flynn make an appearance or two, but unfortunately, she only appears during a brief phone conversation. One of these days I'm going to make sure she is there in the er ... flesh? The second Lucy in the series was a lot more realistic to me. I always thought she got the short end of the stick. In the comics she was portrayed as level-headed and sensible. It would have been great if she stayed in the series. Lois really needed a female friend which is why in this story Cat is not a mantrap but is Catherine a wise good friend to both Lois and Clark.
Morgana
A writer's job is to think of new plots and create characters who stay with you long after the final page has been read. If that mission is accomplished than we have done what we set out to do, which is to entertain and hopefully educate.
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 4,025
Pulitzer
|
|
Pulitzer
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 4,025 |
At that moment, Skip’s stomach growled and he looked at them sheepishly and shrugged his shoulders. “What can I say? I’m super hungry.”
A slow, sweet smile spread across Lois mouth and she laughed out loud.
“That’s it!”
“What’s it?” Clark asked cautiously.
“Mr. Muscles now has a name. No one should call someone like him, something as commonplace as The Haze! Talk about insulting!” Her brown eyes took on a dreamy quality and she continued, “What a man! Yum! No, from now on, I use the name … Superman!”
Relief swept over Clark, finally the right name! Although he was a little worried, from her dreamy expression Lois seemed to have developed a crush on his alter ego. Who knew what manner of problems that could lead to! Still, it was great to return to the early days of their relationship when their camaraderie was innocent and new. He looked at Pete, who had a quizzical expression on his face, but Clark shook his head slightly they would talk about this development later.
“Ah, you got ‘Superman’ from my stomach?” Skip asked innocently. And thus history is made...
|
|
|
|
