Ghost From the Past
Folc4evernaday
Part 17
TRIGGER WARNING: The next few parts contain sensitive material. See
FDK Folder for details.
***
Lois paced around the living room nervously, waiting on the Kents to return. Clark had fallen asleep on the couch …still exhausted. She wasn’t sure what to do or how to act. She still wasn’t any closer to having any answers. He seemed like he remembered her. Did that mean he remembered everything? She placed a hand over her abdomen and sighed. If he did then there was no way around it. She would have to tell him about Jamie. She just prayed he wouldn’t hate her.
Five years and he hadn’t changed a bit. He looked the same he had always looked….just tired. She’d never seen him look so tired before. Five years. What he must have been through…
She noticed a wayward curl that had fallen on his face and moved her hand to brush it out of his face. He caught her wrist before her hand made contact with his face. She gasped in surprise, trying to pull back, but he kept a firm grip on her. He opened his eyes, looking around, recognizing where he was and released his grip on her wrist, “I’m sorry. Are you okay?” He examined her hand to reassure himself he hadn’t hurt her.
“Fine,” She said softly, “just startled is all,”
He sat up, looking at her in concern, “Lois?” He brushed a strand of hair out of her face and frowned, “What’s wrong?”
“It’s been an intense few days,” She said shakily, fingering his hand cautiously.
“I know,” He frowned, looking down. “Still so surreal…”
“So….how…how much do you remember?” She asked cautiously. There. She’d said it. Just bite the bullet and get to the point.
He shook his head bitterly, “Everything….every….despicable….second.” Lois bit her lip as she watched him hang his head in disgust. He remembered everything. This was good. He probably remembered everything from when he was captured as well. She watched him carefully as he looked down at his hand, studying it as he intertwined his fingers with hers, “I’m sorry,”
“For what?” She sniffed, “You didn’t do anything….” She gave him a watery smile. Why was he apologizing?
“I should have told you….about everything….the powers….” Clark sighed, “I wanted to…”
“Why didn’t you?” She asked, trying to will the anger she still felt about him not telling her about his abilities after she’d opened herself up to him so completely. “I just don’t understand….”
He shook his head, “I didn’t know how to explain it…. there was so much I didn’t know…my dad had just told me how they’d found me that night before…All I knew was I had these abilities…”
“You could have told me,” She said, shaking her head, “At least given me some idea…. finding out the way I did…”
“I’m sorry,” He hung his head, “I had it drilled in my head for so long not to tell anyone for so long….the threat of being put in some laboratory and…” He shuddered slightly and she realized many of the fears he’d had had come true when Trask had abducted him.
“Clark…” She brushed her hand against his cheek and he closed his eyes, wrapping his hand over hers, “I know.” She let out a shaky breath.
“I wanted to tell you when we first came here six years ago,” He said quietly. “Dad said we needed to know each other better…. then after we got engaged and I found out everything from my dad…I’d planned on telling you that night…I was in the middle of telling you when all hell broke loose.”
<<“Lois, there’s something I need to tell you…something I’ve been meaning to tell you but I just haven’t found a way…..”>>She nodded, recalling the conversation they’d had that evening. “I had wondered for years what it was you were so nervous about telling me…”
He nodded, “I still don’t know that much. Dad said there was a globe of some sort with the ship…I have no idea where any of it is…” He shook his head bitterly, “if it’s even in the same state anymore.”
“I’m sorry,” She said softly. “You’re home now. That’s all that matters,” She reassured, resting her head against his chest.
“They’re still out there, Lois,” Clark shook his head, “Saving Earth from extinction is one thing but….I can’t put you and my parents in danger like that…”
She lifted her head up to look at him in confusion, “Clark…”
“Hello?” Jonathan’s voice echoed from the doorway, “Anyone home?”
“We’ll finish this later,” He said softly as he walked toward the kitchen to where his parents were.
“Lois?”
Martha’s voice echoed through the doorway and Clark answered, “We’re in here, mom,”
Lois watched as the elder Kents wrapped Clark in a warm hug. Tears of relief fell from Martha’s eyes as she held Clark. Lois bit her lower lip uncertainly. What had Clark meant earlier?
<<“Saving Earth from extinction is one thing…but I can’t put you and my parents in danger like that…”>>***
“He’s been asleep for hours,” Lois commented, looking around the living room shakily. After catching up with his parents he’d changed out of the suit and into a t-shirt and shorts. It wasn’t long after that he’d passed out from exhaustion in the guest room. She’d spent most of the night watching him, reassuring herself he was okay….really there. It was morning now and he was still asleep. She’d gone to make some coffee and found Martha, who seemed to be having the same issue with sleep.
“Well, he probably needs the rest,” Martha said shakily as she fixed a cup of coffee. “Five years of who knows what kind of hell….then escaping ….. memory loss….that meteorite being lodged inside him….and then Nightfall.” Martha sighed, taking a seat at the table with Lois. “He’s going to be okay,”
“How do you know that?” Lois asked tearfully. “How can you say that? I’m not okay. You’re not okay. None of us are okay….”
“Lois, stop,” Martha said placing a hand over Lois’ as she began to cry. “He’s alive. He’s going to be okay. You’re alive. You’re going to be okay.”
“Something happened up there….” Lois said shakily. “He kept saying he couldn’t breathe…”
“He made it home,” Martha reminded her.
“He nearly died,” Lois cried. “You didn’t see him….he was….delirious….could barely stand…” She pulled her hand back and glared at the older woman accusingly, “I told you it was too dangerous. I didn’t want him to….”
“It’s what he was born to do,” Martha said firmly. “As hard as it is to stand on the sidelines and watch….It’s what he was born to do,”
“I just…I can’t….” Lois shook her head angrily. She knew she was right. She was about to respond more but stopped when she heard her cell phone ring. She got up from the table and searched for her phone as it continued to ring. Finally, she found it in the living room on the table, “Lois Lane,” She said as she answered the phone shakily.
“Lois? It's Perry,” her Editor’s voice echoed through the connection. “How are you doing darlin’? How’s Clark?”
“I’m fine,” Her voice cracked, “He’s….I don’t know…” She said shakily.
“You tell him to take as much time as he needs….he’ll have his job waiting for him whenever he’s ready….same goes for you too. I’m serious. After everything…I couldn’t even imagine what you must be going through right now. I want you to take some time ….”
“Perry, I’m fine. I’ll be fine…” She argued.
“Two weeks…” He instructed. “I don’t want to see you back in this newsroom for at least two weeks…”
“Perry…” Lois began to argue but he cut her off once more.
“That’s an order!” Perry boomed.
“So, you called to ground me after I sent you the biggest story of the century?” Lois shot back. “Perry that’s not fair!”
“I want you to take some time to heal,” Perry said, “but that’s not why I called…. not entirely anyway,”
“Oh?” Lois prompted. “You have more restrictions?”
“No, I got a call from Inspector Henderson. It seems that agency you were convinced was involved in Clark’s disappearance but no one could find any proof of its existence….”
“Bureau 39,” Lois said shakily, “What about it?”
“There were ten bodies of Bureau 39 agents found in an old abandoned warehouse in Suicide Slum last night. I thought you’d want to know this Agent Trask was one of the bodies….”
“What?” Lois gasped in shock. Had she just heard what she thought she’d heard? Trask was gone. Bureau 39…
“Lois? Lois are you there?” Perry’s voice echoed from the other end of the phone.
“I…I have to go,” She said quickly hanging up the phone. She looked around the familiar setting, suddenly feeling very alone.
***
Lex held a large lead briefcase as he stepped off the elevator and headed for the penthouse. Nigel walked a few steps behind him, “Has the floor been cleared?” he asked.
“Yes, sir, all personnel have been removed from the floor as requested,” Nigel nodded, following Lex into his office.
“Excellent,” Lex said, setting the briefcase, “We need to get started on these tests…” He popped open the briefcase and smiled when he saw a green glow reflect from it.
***
She couldn’t stop the tears.
After hanging up the phone with Perry Lois had barricaded herself in the guest room where Clark had fallen asleep and finally allowed herself to cry. She sat on the floor by the door, rocking herself quietly as the tears fell one by one. Trask was gone. The man that had terrorized her and Clark’s parents for over twenty-four hours that dreadful night….The man that had faked her fiancé’s death….The man that had stolen everything from her….He was gone. Why didn’t she feel relief? She felt cheated. She felt betrayed. She would never see justice for what that man had done to them. Clark would never see justice.
“Oh, God….” She cried, uncontrollably. She could feel the weight of everything pushing down on her as she thought of everything over the past five years she and Clark had been robbed of. Their life together. Their son. She’d buried herself in her work for years, trying to forget the hole that ached in her heart. It had been four years since she’d seen Jamie’s sweet face smile up at her. Four years since she’d heard his voice. Four years since she’d held him. Four years since she’d woken up to the nightmare that was her life and found him lifeless in his crib. “He’s gone…” She cried angrily, unable to hold back the tears as her body shook uncontrollably, rocking back and forth as she cried.
“I’m right here,” Two strong arms wrapped around her from behind and held her close as she cried out in agony. “It’s okay, Lois,”
“It’ll never….be….o..kay….” She continued to cry as he held her. “Never…”
“I know,” He said hoarsely, rocking her against him as she continued to cry.
“It hurts….it hurts….” She cried against him.
“I know,” He held her close. “I know….”
“I want….my life….back…” She cried against him.
“I do too,” He said hoarsely. She could feel the tears against her neck as he cried with her, holding her close. “I love you so much. I’ve missed you so much. I’m so sorry I hurt you,”
“Oh, Clark,” She cried, turning to face him, “I love you,” She leaned in to kiss him, wrapping her arms around him, “I never…. stopped. I was ….so afraid ….I’d lost…. you….” She murmured against his lips.
He cupped her cheek and deepened the kiss, “You could never lose me, Lois,” He reassured her, in-between heated kisses.
“Make love to me, Clark,” She murmured against his lips. Before she could finish her plea he’d already scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the bed. She sighed happily, intent on forgetting everything as she lost herself in his arms.
***
He’d thought he was dreaming again when he’d woken up. It had taken him a moment to realize it wasn’t a dream, but the harsh reality. He’d heard the quiet sob of “He’s gone” escape from Lois’ lips and immediately went to her side to comfort her.
“I’m right here,” He whispered, wrapping his arms around her. He held her close as she cried out in agony. “It’s okay, Lois,” He silently cursed the men from Bureau 39 that had taken him from her for so long. He cursed the meteorite that had taken his abilities from him and allowed himself to be taken from her. He cursed himself for not being able to escape before now.
“It’ll never….be….o..kay….” She continued to cry as he held her. “Never…”
She was right. They’d lost five years.“I know,” He said hoarsely, rocking her against him as she continued to cry. No amount of time would ever make up for what they’d lost.
“It hurts….it hurts….” She cried against him. He could feel the lump forming in his throat as her breathing became more uneasy, holding her fist against her chest as she cried.
“I know,” He held her close. “I know….”
“I want….my life….back…” She cried against him. He swallowed hard at that statement. There was nothing he wanted more than to pick up things where they had left off five years but he didn’t even know where to start. He’d been so afraid to touch her… There was so much that they needed to talk about.
“I do too,” He said hoarsely, holding her close as the tears escaped, falling one by one. “I love you so much. I’ve missed you so much. I’m so sorry I hurt you,”
“Oh, Clark,” She cried, turning to face him, “I love you,” She surprised him by leaning in to kiss him, wrapping her arms around him. At first, he’d been too shocked to respond, but only for a split second before instinct took over. Five years. It had been five years since he’d held her. Five years since he’d kissed her. Five years since… “I never…. stopped. I was ….so afraid ….I’d lost…. you….” She murmured against his lips.
He cupped her cheek and deepened the kiss, “You could never lose me, Lois,” He reassured her, in-between heated kisses. Every second of every day of every moment she was all he’d thought about. Getting back to her. That was what had kept him going….Kept him motivated to stay alive… Made him keep trying to escape…
“Make love to me, Clark,” She murmured against his lips. She hadn’t even finished her plea before he’d scooped her into his arms, intent on fulfilling her request and making her forget the pain for the last five years.
***
Jonathan stepped into the kitchen, reaching for a coffee mug from the cupboard. “How’d you sleep?” He asked, pouring himself a cup of coffee.
Martha shook her head, “I didn’t,”
“He’s going to be okay,” Jonathan reassured her, taking a seat next to her at the table.
“He’s lost five years of his life, Jonathan….and when he realizes WHO he never got to meet….” She shook her head in disgust. “I just don’t know how he’s going to get through this.”
***
“Don’t ever leave me again,” She cried, linking her arms around his neck.
“I won’t,” He reassured her, wrapping her into his arms, “I’m ….right here,” He hated this. The pain in her eyes was unbearable. He wanted to make her forget. He wanted to make himself forget. He looked at her cautiously, making sure she was okay. Five years. How had he gone five years without….
She sighed happily against him, digging her nails into his back as he made love to her. “Please, Clark,” She pleaded as her legs wrapped around his waist, “make me forget,”
“I’ve ….missed you ….so much,” He whispered, brushing his lips against her lips.
“Don’t ….don’t….stop…” She pleaded in-between heated kisses.
“Never,” He promised.
***
“Don’t ever leave me again,” She cried, linking her arms around his neck. She could do this. She had to. She couldn’t not tell him about Jamie. She just couldn’t bear the thought of what he would do when he found out.
“I won’t,” He reassured her, wrapping her into his arms, “I’m ….right here,” For now he was here with her. Until he found out she’d let their son die. She hadn’t heard him cry because she’d been sleeping. She’d let him sleep in his own room for the first time that night and look what had happened. She should never have listened to the doctors ... or her mother. She should have let him sleep in the room with her. Who cared if it made him cling to her more? Who cared if he didn't develop a strong sense of independence? He was a baby... But she HAD listened. She had listened and now she was paying the price. If she hadn't maybe she would have heard…maybe she would have been able to save him…
Oh, God she’d forgotten how perfectly he fit. How perfectly his body molded against her when they…He still seemed to be holding back, looking at her cautiously as if he wasn’t sure she really wanted this. She sighed happily against him, digging her nails into his back as he made love to her. “Please, Clark,” She pleaded as her legs wrapped around his waist, “make me forget,”
“I’ve ….missed you ….so much,” He whispered, brushing his lips against her lips. She tightened her grip on him, clinging to him desperately as she fought the urge to cry out. She wanted this to last. She wanted to memorize everything before she broke his heart so completely.
“Don’t ….don’t….stop…” She pleaded in-between heated kisses.
“Never,” He promised.
***
“This is Brock Thompson, with an LNN Special Report. It has now been over twenty-four hours since anyone has seen the mysterious flying man that saved Earth from a most certain death. Questions continue to be asked as the world wants to know…Who is this Super man?”
“Indeed,” Lex said, puffing on his cigar as he turned to the other gentlemen in the room, “I think it's time we find out more about our flying friend,”
“We were monitoring him for five years,” Newcomb said, placing a file in front of Lex.
“Not long enough to know WHO he is,” Lex sniffed.
***
Lois wrapped herself in the sheet, snuggling against the solid frame of Clark’s chest as she let out a shaky breath. “Wow…”
“I know,” He laughed, kissing her cheek as he tightened his arms around her.
“I think it’s like riding a bike….once you learn ….you never forget….” She said breathlessly.
“I don’t think I could ever forget,” He reassured her, holding her against him. “Even when I was in that….fog I couldn’t forget you.”
“Oh, Clark,” She whispered tearfully, resting her head against his chest. “I love you. I don’t think I could survive losing you again…not after…”
Her voice grew shaky and he looked at her in concern, “What is it?”
She shook her head, “You’ll hate me. I hate myself,” Her voice cracked. “I thought if I…”
“Lois, I could never hate you,” He said, cupping her cheek with his palm in concern. “What would make you ever think that?”
How in the world was she supposed to tell him?
‘Just rip the band-aid off,’ She opened her mouth to speak but the words just wouldn’t come out. She squinted back the tears as she tried to say the words she’d been dreading for four years. She swallowed the bitter bile in her throat and forced her voice to come, as scratchy as it was at the moment, “Clark, when we came to Smallville five years ago …. I was six weeks pregnant….”
“What??”
His voice echoed around her as she forced herself to continue, certain that if she waited too long he’d get his hopes up before she dashed them to pieces. “He died,” She whispered hoarsely.
“Wha…What??”
She could feel his body stiffen against her as she continued, blinking back tears. “He was born a month early, but he seemed fine. Everything seemed fine. Then one night I put him to bed in his crib and he…never….ne..ver…..wo…ke…..woke…up…” She cried.
She expected him to pull away from her…to run. Blame her. Yell. Something. He just laid there in shock, holding her against him, “Oh, God…” He pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to hold back the wave of emotions that she was sure he was struggling with after what she’d just told him. “A…son?” His voice cracked and she winced as if she’d just been beaten.
“I’m so….so….sorry…” She cried. “I did….every…everything….they to…ld…told…me. I don’t…..know…wha…”
“Lo..is,” His voice squeaked on the last syllable as he fought to keep himself from betraying the emotions he was holding in.
She’d done it. Told him the horrible truth that had been her life for the last four years. She prepared herself for the inevitable. He would hate her. He would blame her. She hated herself every day. She’d begged and pleaded God to take her instead that morning when she’d found her perfect angel unresponsive that morning.
“Please forgive me,” She pleaded, burying her face against his chest as she cried, squinting her eyes shut as she prepared herself for the worst.
“Forgive you for what?” He asked, uncertainly, rolling over on his side so she was forced to look at him.
“I wasn’t a good…mother….” She cried. “I didn’t pro….protect him. I was ASLEEP when he was….”
“No, no, no,” He shook his head, pulling him to her. “I’m sure you did….EVERYTHING… you… could,” His voice was still shaky and she could feel the uneasiness of his embrace.
“I didn’t hear him,” She cried. “I don’t understand how I could NOT hear him….”
“Maybe….he….didn’t…make…a…noise…” He said uneasily.
“I’m so sorry, Clark,” She cried, leaning against him. He tightened his arms around her, holding her to him as she cried. She could feel his body shake against hers uncontrollably as he finally gave into the emotions he’d been holding back. She reached up, wrapping her arms around him and holding him against her chest as he cried.
***
TBC...
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