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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 3,110 Likes: 42
Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
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OP
Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 3,110 Likes: 42 |
I'm taking bets on Pete's status. 
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
So here I go again, commenting when I don't really have the time for it. But, Sara, I just have to tell you how much I appreciate it that I get a new chapter of your story every Monday. Things are a little slow on these boards nowadays, and I'm certainly not contributing anything storywise - but, heck, I haven't written stories since about the early seventies, and English is my second language, you know! So seeing that I'm not writing any stories, and so many other people aren't writing any stories either - not that many of them don't deserve a break after all they've done already - but, considering all of that, it's so, so good to be able to look forward to a new instalment of your excellent story every Monday. (How's that for a bit of Lois Lane-style babbling?)
I so, so like the general tone and feeling of this story. There is so much emotion and so much tension here, but I never get too upset or devastated. Maybe I'm meant to worry to death that Clark won't make it, but I don't. I worry about him, and I so want to see what's going to happen next, but I do believe that Clark will eventually be alright. And I'm glad I'm able to feel that way, too.
The most wonderful thing about your story is that it is so full of love. I'm the kind of Lois and Clark fan who needs Lois and Clark to love each other very much, and you show us their love so beautifully and poignantly. Thank you so, so much for your great story, Sara!
Ann
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 221
Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 221 |
Sara, I've just gotten caught up with this entire story and have been, quite literally, blown away. I love your writing style, and the tug-of-war of emotion just radiates from the page! Your characterization of Clark is just heart-breaking (in the best way possible), and Lois is spot-on. I can't express how much I've enjoyed this story! And this part! Oh, man ... She wasn't sure what she felt. Angry? Relieved? Numb. Everything was so muted, surreal, and she was frozen to the spot as she watched two paramedics heft Clark onto a stretcher. His shoulder had been bandaged; she didn't know when. He'd been shot.
No. *She* had been shot... shot at. And Clark had taken the bullet for her.
The paramedics started wheeling him away, and suddenly everything snapped back into place. The sounds, the smells, the pain all flooded back, rushing in on her senses. They were taking Clark away.
Lois tried to yell for them to wait, but her throat was hoarse and it didn't come out as more than a squeak. She scrambled to her feet and started to rush after them, but a something stopped her. A hand on her shoulder. Not forceful, but it was startling and she stopped. This is brilliant. It conveys first-hand the confusion, the effects of the shock Lois must be feeling -- such terrific writing! And: "Gunshot wound."
"Got a name or is this a John Doe?"
"It's Superman."
"Whoa. Superman? But he looks so slo-"
"His name is Clark Kent." Lois sounded tense, distraught.
"Same thing, lady."
"No, it's not. His name is Clark Kent." *loves* Perfect. Just perfect -- an indignant, protective Lois, just when Clark needs her most (even if he doesn't realize it). In all, a beautifully told story, Sara. Can't wait to read more from you!
~ Crystal
"Not all those who wander are lost." — JRR Tolkien
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Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 77
Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Jan 2005
Posts: 77 |
Oh Wow! A lot of things have happened in this section. I love how you are able to integrate action and relationship stuff seamlessly. The paramedics started wheeling him away, and suddenly everything snapped back into place. The sounds, the smells, the pain all flooded back, rushing in on her senses. They were taking Clark away. Love the descriptive imagery here. A shout came from the doorway. "Detective! Superman's asking for the woman. He won't let us leave without her." Awww… "I'm sorry, Lois." His voice was feeble, but his eyes were imploring... for forgiveness, maybe. But there wasn't anything that needed forgiving. Not anymore. In the face of crisis, people can usually put things in to perpective quite well. The rest faded away into the background, and he attempted a smile. It was a little thing - her insistence on his name. Maybe it was the sense of a small triumph that he was picking up from Lois, but he felt like he'd won something too. I really loved that last bit. Keep up the good work! -Em
"But my experience is that as soon as people are old enough to know better, they don't know anything at all."
-Oscar Wilde, "Lady Windermere's Fan"
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Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 3,110 Likes: 42
Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
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OP
Boards Chief Administrator Pulitzer
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 3,110 Likes: 42 |
So here I go again, commenting when I don't really have the time for it. But, Sara, I just have to tell you how much I appreciate it that I get a new chapter of your story every Monday.
___
The most wonderful thing about your story is that it is so full of love. I'm the kind of Lois and Clark fan who needs Lois and Clark to love each other very much, and you show us their love so beautifully and poignantly. Thank you so, so much for your great story, Sara! Thank you so much for taking the time, Ann! I really, really love all your wonderful feedback. It makes my week!  Sara, I've just gotten caught up with this entire story and have been, quite literally, blown away. I love your writing style, and the tug-of-war of emotion just radiates from the page! Your characterization of Clark is just heart-breaking (in the best way possible), and Lois is spot-on. I can't express how much I've enjoyed this story!  I don't even know what to say. Thank you doesn't seem adequate considering how much I appreciate your compliments. But, really, thank you!!  Oh Wow! A lot of things have happened in this section. I love how you are able to integrate action and relationship stuff seamlessly. Thank you, Em!! You get mega-bonus points for picking out some of my favorite lines, the ones I hoped people would like. Really, you guys are spoiling me. Thank you all for the terrific feedback!!!  Part 29 going up soon! Sara
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,846 |
Hi, Great piece. 
Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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