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Joined: Mar 2013
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OP
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Comments for The Least Useful SuperpowerI wrote the first half of this a while back, but I was stalled on the ending. I finally figured out yesterday how to wrap it up successfully. Super-ventriloquism is a legitimate power that Superman had in the comics from the late '50s to the early '70s. He used it all the time. This story came about when I was wondering what if L&C Clark had the power but just never mentioned it. What would he use it for?
"It is a remarkable dichotomy. In many ways, Clark is the most human of us all. Then...he shoots fire from the skies, and it is difficult not to think of him as a god. And how fortunate we all are that it does not occur to him." -Batman (in Superman/Batman #3 by Jeph Loeb)
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jan 2009
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Lois smiled back. "Yeah," she said, "I'll get him to prove it to me some other time."
Clark's smile turned into a full-on grin. "I'm sure you will." Love the ending. Nicely done. 
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2003
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Heehee! Cute!
~•~
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2003
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Bwahaaahaaa! Oh, lord, that was really a power in the comics? Well, at the very least, it helps with keeping his secret safe!
You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie. 
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Jul 2016
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LOL! This is funny. And I can actually see how it could be "super" useful :P
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2010
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The ending really made the story. And your use of superventriloquism was much better than what was in the comics. Your story aside, though, I would question whether it is the least useful superpower, even in the comics. How about shooting rainbows (as seen on the cover of Superman #125 - original series, below) or a mini-me (as seen in that same issue's story) out of his fingers? Those are powers that, thankfully, did not last. ![[Linked Image]](http://images.fandango.com/MDCsite/images/featured/201211/35%20Rainbow%20Fingers.jpg) In any event, this was a fun story and really captures the show's style of humor and banter. Thanks for sharing it with us. Joy, Lynn
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2003
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Shooting rainbows??!! Oy! 
You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie.
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
I don't know, Lois. That seems like quite a useful superpower to me.  Well done. I love how Clark... excuse me, SUPERMAN demonstrated that power and Lois never even noticed. This would've come in very handy on LnC. Too bad they never picked it up. I wonder how one discovers such a hidden useless power.
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Columnist
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OP
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Love the ending. Nicely done. Heehee! Cute! Thanks! Bwahaaahaaa! Oh, lord, that was really a power in the comics? Well, at the very least, it helps with keeping his secret safe! Yeah, it was really a power. It was pretty useful when Supergirl was around; they could just talk to each other over long distances. Though I guess they could do that with their super hearing anyway. Hmm... Here are a few examples of the power in use: Super-VentriloquismMore Super-VentriloquismSuper-Ventriloquism... In Space!LOL! This is funny. And I can actually see how it could be "super" useful :P I'm glad the humor came through. I had the whole first section written for a while, and I had a hard time coming up with a good way for Superman to address the super-ventriloquism that wasn't a totally boring info dump. Your story aside, though, I would question whether it is the least useful superpower, even in the comics. How about shooting rainbows (as seen on the cover of Superman #125 - original series, below) or a mini-me (as seen in that same issue's story) out of his fingers? Those are powers that, thankfully, did not last. I have that issue, but it's been a while since I read it. There were a few times that Superman got rainbow powers back then. I think twice he shot rainbows from his fingers, and once he had a circular aura-type rainbow hanging around him. I forget exactly how it happened. I think he was exposed to some sort of alien substance. I don't actually think that super-ventriloquism is useless. It has a lot of potential, but it tended to get used for things like letting Clark talk (while hiding his mouth) when he had been exposed to red kryptonite that made fire shoot out of his mouth every time he opened it. (in Action Comics #283) I don't know, Lois. That seems like quite a useful superpower to me. Well done. I love how Clark... excuse me, SUPERMAN demonstrated that power and Lois never even noticed. This would've come in very handy on LnC. Too bad they never picked it up. I wonder how one discovers such a hidden useless power. Yeah, one personality trait Superman has that seems pretty consistent across portrayals is that he loves messing with people. And he's being completely literal: "it sounds like Clark is here." And then Clark insisted that he arrived right before she opened the door. It would have been pretty handy when Clark was trying to pretend that Superman was staying with him during the heat wave. I can picture him making some smart-alec comment when Lois quietly asks Clark if the suit actually comes off. He could yell from the other room, "I do have super hearing, you know!"
"It is a remarkable dichotomy. In many ways, Clark is the most human of us all. Then...he shoots fire from the skies, and it is difficult not to think of him as a god. And how fortunate we all are that it does not occur to him." -Batman (in Superman/Batman #3 by Jeph Loeb)
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 9,509 |
It would have been pretty handy when Clark was trying to pretend that Superman was staying with him during the heat wave. I can picture him making some smart-alec comment when Lois quietly asks Clark if the suit actually comes off. He could yell from the other room, "I do have super hearing, you know!" That would've been priceless!
VirginiaR.
"On the long road, take small steps." -- Jor-el, "The Foundling"
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"clearly there is a lack of understanding between those two... he speaks Lunkheadanian and she Stubbornanian" -- chelo.
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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Superman: I hear you've been looking for me.
Lois: All my life.
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Columnist
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Columnist
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It would have been pretty handy when Clark was trying to pretend that Superman was staying with him during the heat wave. I can picture him making some smart-alec comment when Lois quietly asks Clark if the suit actually comes off. He could yell from the other room, "I do have super hearing, you know!" That would've been priceless! Oh yeah. Kryptonite would have nothing on Lois when that came out. Doesn't mean I don't think it'd make a great story, though.
Shallowford
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Jun 2011
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This is priceless! I can just imagine a twelve-year-old Clark discovering this "power" and Jonathan and Martha indulging him, maybe getting him a puppet and everything before he realized how ridiculous it is and that it doesn't work that way. I can't believe this is a legit power (scraping the bottom of the barrel methinks) but the more you flesh it out, the better it gets. It's mostly convenient for the sake of keeping the secret, though. For some reason, this power (and the rainbow beams one lol) makes me think of Zoom where all these kids had these wacky and not cool at all superpowers.  "He was acting a little odd, though. I think he was trying to be funny." It's an inside joke, Lois. You'll get it later. "A new superpower? That's pretty big news. Is that going to go in your article?"
Lois looked at him and cocked her head to the side, considering. "No, that would be pointless. The power is pretty useless in general, despite what happened today." Plus it would probably damage her credibility more than anything else. LOIS: Guys it's true! Superman can do ventriloquism! PERRY: Sure, Lois. And I can yodel. We should have a talent show. Clark, what can you do? CLARK: I can fly like Superman! Fun read!
Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eye witness.
--Mark Twain
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Ha ha ha! I love it! I never knew that super-ventriloquism was a thing, but it could have been a lot of fun on the TV show. Definitely more useful than being able to generate a rainbow and infinitely funnier than the mind-wipe kiss.
B
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