Here is the third and last part. I am really sorry about the long wait but at the moment I am very busy at work.
Before we get to the story I wanted to thank Morgana and Michael again for their very helpful comments.
There is another thing I wanted to say to other FoLCs out there. If you are reading this and if you are thinking about starting to write a story - but you don't think you are able to actually pull it off - I can tell you: just try and do it. It is very nice to find out that others actually like what you have written (most of my life I thought about my own achievements and work as bad, I still do sometimes.) I still tend to be overly critical of my own work instead of just thinking of it as good. English is my second language so I have an extra hurdle when I am writing.
What I want to say is: If you want to try to write something just do it don't let yourself stop you from experiencing something wonderful, just because you thing you can't do it. I see it often enough at work, people sit down and try something but they constantly tell others how they suck at it. Don't make yourself smaller than you are... if you need help just ask for it, the others here on the boards are great people
And now:
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Part 3
Slowly Clark came to. “I’m here, honey, don’t cry. I’m sorry there wasn’t time to explain. When I was in Tibet during my travelling, I learned to put myself into something that translates to deep meditation according to some Buddhist monks. I couldn’t risk reacting if he would hit me.” He smiled at her weakly. “But I can feel where he hit me now.” He lifted an arm and touched her face lovingly.
It was just like Clark to have picked up something like that during his travelling. If his situation hadn’t been as draining as it was, she would have smiled, too. “Lex said he sent his men and it sounded as if they’d be here soon. Can you get up?” she asked frantically. Gripping his hands, she pulled desperately to get him up.
Clark tried and this time with her help he was able to get up even if it took everything out of him and it felt like an eternity until he stood on two shaky legs. One hand covering the area where Lois assumed Lex kick had connected. “Okay, I’m up. You’ll lead the way,” he said when she took the place next to him, the laser in one hand, the other around his waist to support him, carefully avoiding the sore spot. “I know you like it when I follow your lead,” he joked; a strain in his voice betrayed his weakness and pain.
“Can you change into your civilian clothes; do you have them with you? It is safer with you as Clark then as Superman at the moment,” she reasoned, while walking with him to where she had parked her car.
He shook his head. “I would need my superpowers to change back. I can’t explain but at the moment I can’t get them. Do you have a blanket in your car?”
“No,” she answered, after a moment she seemed to remember something. “But I think there is still our emergency stakeout bag in the trunk. Now let’s go.”
She tried to be extra observant of her surroundings on the way over to her vehicle; she couldn’t let them be caught now. She couldn’t lose him just before they got out of here. She was also very attentive of every groan and moan Clark made because she was responsible for his vulnerability and she was responsible for bringing him here as well.
She wouldn’t be responsible for them being caught.
When they reached her car, she scanned the area to see if there was anyone around before ushering him into the back seat. Then she opened the trunk of her car and discovered that she had been right. She found a pair of pants and a t-shirt of his and gave them to him.
While he changed she walked over to a phone booth she had spotted nearby, never letting him out of her sight. From the phone she called Inspector Henderson to tell him what she had heard and that Luthor had apparently killed Deter with a bomb. She asked him to send his men to the area of Hobbs Bay they had just left in hopes they wouldcatch Lex’ men. When she returned, Clark was ready and looked just like himself, albeitvery tired.
If this was just another story, Lois would have been with the police. She would have talked to Henderson to push herself into the investigation until she knew she had the whole story. But not this time. This time all of this hit too close to home.
Lois drove them to Clark’s apartment. During the short ride she noticed that he did his best to stay awake but finally he fell asleep. When she parked her car at his apartment he seemed to be completely out of it.
“Clark?” She tried to wake him gently; part of herstill feared he wouldn’t wake up. When he roused, he was slightly disoriented at first but he had to walk up to his apartment by himself. After all he had been through, she wanted to spare him any more stress as much as she could but without his help she couldn’t move him the slightest bit.
“Come on, honey.” She ushered him out of the seat. “We’re almost home. Just get up and then were done.” Although they weren’t in immediate danger anymore, she didn’t feel comfortable with Clark in such a bad shape out on the street or anywhere else out of his or her apartment.
Clark was supposed to be invincible and strong. She needed him.
He rose slowly, still unsteady on his feet. Lois closed her car and locked it. As before, she put her arm around his waist while he leaned onto her for support.
The stairs to his apartment were a near impossible obstacle but together they managed after a long while. When they stood in front of his entrance, she had him leaning against a wall while opening the apartment with the spare key kept under his mat. He closed his eyes.
After the door had closed behind them Lois was finally able to take a deep breath.
Clark pulled her into a deep and much needed embrace.He closed his arms around her and held her with all of the strength he had at the moment. After a few seconds her arms were around his and held him too.
The pressure over the sore spot made him flinch a bit but when she tried to let go, he just kept holding her. “Please just for a bit longer, I need you.” Lois understood and stayed with him but this time she was more careful with her strength. With all the worries she had forgotten the additional injury inflicted on him by Lex.
It felt somehow odd that this time it was her who had to be careful.
When they finally let go of each other, they made their way over to his sofa where they both fell down in exhaustion.
Lois sensed Clark wanted to say something but she bolted in spite of the tiredness she felt in both her mind and body she had the urge to flee and bring as much space between them as was possible.
“Do you want tea? I have some Oolong …” Lois asked, suddenly nervous because now that the stress and the horror of the previous hours and also the last few days fell off of her, she could feel the guilt even more. She jumped from the sofa and moved over to the kitchen. “I thought I could make us some oolong tea. You still have oolong here? Shall I go out and buy you some? Shall I also order food? Are you hungry? I would cook something for you, but we both know how that ends.”
Lois was aware, that Clark knew what she was doing. She was withdrawing, not only physically but also mentally. “Lois, please come over here. I know this is bothering you and you are distancing yourself from me. Please don’t, I’m here for you. Talk to me.” Clark stretched his hand out in her direction, hoping this would act as a bridge against her distance.
She was torn. There was nothing he could say that would ease the pain or the guilt. She should leave and let him get better. But she needed him. If she left him now, she was sure there would be nightmares of him dying haunting her as soon as she drifted off to sleep. Finally the need to stay with him won.
Lois stepped back in front of the couch, took his hand but tears began filling her eyes. “Clark, for the last three years many people have tried to kill you. Hendrix and his voodoo thing, Intergang with the virus or Lex – more often than I want to think about.” She was desperate, she didn’t know what she should do. Part of her wanted to leave him forever to ensure that she could never be used against him But she also knew after today’s experience that she didn’t want to live without him in her life.
“I know…” He looked thoughtful for a moment. Lois assumed he tried to find the right words. “But we beat them all, we are stronger together!” She didn’t look convinced.
“But that’s the point! This time it wasn’t one of them! It was me! They used my connection to you and weaponized me. *I* killed you!” Lois cried. She couldn’t shake the picture of him lying there in the dirt. “And I couldn’t do anything. I didn’t even know what I was doing until it was too late.” Again tears were streaming down her face. “What I fear is the day we won’t be able to beat them. I can’t lose you!” She looked ready to bolt again, the pain she had caused during the hypnosis seemed to be caught inside her.Together with the guilt it seemed they were quickly rebuilding the barriers like those she had around her heart when he met her. She knew she was trappingherself inside these walls. That was how she had dealt with emotions for years and it was the easiest way for her to return to old habits.
He used her hand to pull her onto his lap, his other hand found hers and also took it in his. “Honey!” Kissing her on the head as he went on, “Please look at me. See for yourself that I am alive. The laser didn’t kill me, it just knocked me out. I think they didn’t count on my fast cell regeneration. I swear to you, I won’t leave you.” She knew Clark could see what she was doing to herself but she wasn’t ready to accept him inside her newly rebuilt protective barriers. She knew if she let him in, he would be able to tear them down and that would be the best for either of them but she wasn’t able to let go of the guilt at the moment.
“But that’s it, Clark! You just survived by chance, perhaps it was just a freak accident, next time we probably won’t be so lucky.” Lois sobbed, leaning into him to reassure herself that he really was there with her.
With fear in her eyes she went on. “And what about Lex? He said he would tell your secret identity to everyone, for them to get their revenge on your beloved ones. What are we going to do about that? You don’t even have your powers at the moment to stop him.”
“We will stop Lex! With or without my powers, I won’t let him destroy any more lives. Especially not the life we want together.” He replied with absolute conviction in his voice, before taking a deep breath. “Perhaps it is time to reveal myself to the world.”
Before she could reply, the telephone rang, startling them both. Without releasing her, he grabbed the handset and answered the call. “Clark Kent speaking… Inspector Henderson? Yes, she is with me…” Clark became silent as he listened to the inspector, after a moment his eyes became wide “You found what? Where?…” Again Clark fell silent. “Okay… Thanks for calling, bye.” Clark put the phone away and looked at Lois.
At her questioning look he explained. “Henderson couldn’t reach you anywhere so he tried here. Something happened at the Neuroscience Center. Apparently the police searched the Center because one of Luthor’s thugs tipped them off. It appears Deter has double crossed his partner and made one of his patients kill Luthor. It seems Deter also had big plans for you… He wanted to get you to marry him and move to the south of France.”
“Oh, why do all the bad guys want to marry me?” Lois groaned. On top of everything else they had to go through during the previous week, why did every criminal mastermind seem to think she would even consider marrying them? She was engaged. She would have been married if it hadn’t been for Lex’ evil scheme.
Clark kissed her again and went on. “The cops discovered that Deter was still using Mendenhall’s contraption to hire out patients as killers.” Clark paused, and thenadded, “I think Henderson wouldn’t ever admit to it, but I think he wanted to make sure you are okay.”
That made her almost smile. “He really is a great guy!” she admitted “But if you ever tell him…” Clark released one of her hands and put one of his fingers on her lips because he really didn’t want to talk about Henderson. Right now there was another person much more important right in front of him.
“I won’t, I promise! But I think there is something we have to talk about. Lois, what you said before… No one knows when his or her time has come. Think about all that had happened to you in the years I’ve known you.” He let his fingers again intertwine with hers, feeling the warmth of her body fight the cold fear threatening to overwhelm him. The same fear he always felt when he thought about losing her. “And although I don’t want to think about it… I’m pretty sure there were countless situations before we even met. I can’t take the fear from you but you have to know I feel the same. Every time I am called away, there is the dread that something might happen to you. That is what made me push you away when I should have talked about my fears. I am not proud about what I did, but I promised you that I won’t make the same mistake again. You are not responsible for what happened. They are. I know you would never do anything to hurt anyone deliberately and I know that you would never hurt me intentionally.”
Clark paused, gathering strength for what he was about to say next.
“When I saw you with Luthor, I let you go. Because you told me to. When you got into the car with Luthor…” He went on with a pained expression, relieving the emotions he felt then. “It tore me apart. I knew that you were thinking you were Wanda and he was Kent. I knew you would never go with him if you remembered who you were, but I didn’t know how I could stop you. You told me to let you go, I think Lex made you do so… I wanted so much to have you back that I believed you when you pretended to remember then. Also I couldn’t force you to stay but by letting you go with him I endangered you. If I had stopped you earlier, the stone would never have hit you on your head.” His arms tightened around her. “I could have lost you.” The last words came out as a whisper, tears were glistening in his eyes.
She wasn’t the only one feeling guilty? Clark was feeling the same? It made sense. She could remember when he pushed her away. The agony she felt then when she thought he had deserted her and she could still remember that the same agony was reflected in his eyes regardless of what he had said then. She didn’t know what they could do against those feelings but she understood now that regardless of what happened, the only way to come through was being together because none could live without the other.
“Oh, Clark.” She kissed him to show him that she understood. It wouldn’t take away the guilt.Nothing could do that but she knew now that it was something they had to work out together.
For the rest of their lives.
THE END
